ho...ly... crap...

I haven't even started reading this yet and it sounds sexy as all hell already.

Edit: So I read it. Oh God yes, your NMM is such a fucking snake. I'm going to love her and hate her at the same time, I can tell.

Holy Mormon Jesus this was the shit.

At last.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2508119

after all that waiting
it comes
thanks for all your help

lol comes
get it cuz its a clopfic

2508103

Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?

2508101

i have read it already and i agree

2507957

Best NMM fic I've ever read

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhcksellent. I look forward to the next installment. ^.^

FYI, word order typo:

> But Twilight was not that a brave mare, and she knew it.

probably should be

But Twilight was not that brave a mare, and she knew it.

The Manson cover is the best

2508179 i tkae it you've never read nightmares don't last forever :l ?....

2508524
No but thanks for the recommendation I was running low on fics

2508597

I would also recommend After That Fateful Night

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I am very much looking forward to reading the next part have this as payment
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"Sweet dreams are made of these" should be
"This"
not
"These"

2508620

>:v

whoever transcribed the one i used is a cunt

2508608
ありがとうございます (Thank you very much (Im pretty sure that's how you spell it anyway))

Request filled man I'm evil

2508663

i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/878/1237917779613a.jpg

I was skeptical of this at first, but you've mixed just enough canon in to make Celestia's supposed plan not only believable, but a real possibility. And you've described in Nightmare Moon in an almost sympathetic light, interesting choice. I eagerly await more.

I like what I've read so far.

I like Nightmare Moon. She doesn't get enough love.

I never realized it was 9k words, I was enjoying it too much.

2508133

That took too damn long to get approval.

Also, it's a joy to help you out when ya need it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2508636
Unless you're using it as a reference. Since in the song the line is known from uses the line you had more times than the title line itself.

Sweet Dreams are made of This

Again

2512901

i just kind of copypasted some lyrics off the internet, lawl ._.

Nightmare Moon/Twilight fic? Awesome! Can't get enough of those. And there's only like three or four if you include this one (and two of those haven't been updated since a year or more).

Ahem, that being said: this is pretty dark. Hadn't expected it to be so grim, though I should have expected that from the writer of the best Changeling story on the site.

Nightmare Moon was very convincing, as was Twilight considering how she had been treated since her capture.

The only thing that I find odd is how quickly the world changed here. Changelings everywhere, Griffons eating ponies and angry mobs... was it specified how long it was between Twilight's capture and the trial? If it was, I probably missed it. I often miss such important things...

Anyway, have a fav and an upvote. Celestia knows that you've more than earned them. Only thing I regret is that I can only upvote this once.

Wow, this got me shaking from anxiety. It was so horrible to delve this deep into a story where the main character lives through this many fears and emotions. Honestly, my fingers are shaking as I'm typing. I don't know if it's normal to connect this much with a character, but I can tell it's a wonderful thing, even though I wish for no one to have to feel the way I'm feeling now. However, this little bit of kindness and comfort at the end was really nice to finish the first chapter.

(I wrote the following paragraph before I noticed that the story has an alternative universe tag, but maybe there's still more to it.) Furthermore, I am still confused how it could come to this situation. I imagine that the ponies have been presented with a better form of ruling than their godlike monarch had given them. At least that's the nicest thing I can imagine Nightmare Moon might has done. However, that would leave open why even Shining or the other 'Elements' didn't help Twilight. You can't suddenly leave your little sister to die, even if she was involved in something horrible. That's why I still believe that Nightmare Moon did something to change the ponies' attitude this drastically (I imagine only a short time has passed since the coup d'etat, sorry if you mentioned that in the story).

Another thing that confuses me is the last paragraph. When you say "... released their captives from their hold", do you mean a forceful way of holding, or an incentive one?
I also like your choice of background music. I like both versions about equally much.

A fairly long comment for me when I wanted to be in bed half an hour ago, but well, I saw a Twilight Sparkle x Nightmare Moon story, and I just couldn't resist ^^.

2513074

The speed at which she took over is supposed to be unrealistic at first. I could easily have written different, but I chose to do it that way because I wanted her and her system to come off as unfathomable and unstoppable. There'll be more on that later, of course, and it'll be explained better.

2513190 Okay, that's interesting, to say the least. Can't wait to see whether or not her system actually is unstoppable.

2513142

However, this little bit of kindness and comfort at the end was really nice to finish the first chapter.

"I pardon you."

But am I really that predictable? I'm not going to write a 100% grimdark fic, after all.

2513211

demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0902/nazis-vs-stormtroopers-demotivational-poster-1235605353.jpg

I don't get it.

2513603

Thank you for telling me exactly what it is you don't get

2513241

...Wow. I had that same scene in my head when I read the words.

Well, we'll have to see how this develops. Glad to see it isn't going to be a 100% grim/dark piece.

2508608 This is getting the shit read out of it btw

Holy shit. The level of grimness was intense, way more so than almost every other fic I've ever read. Maybe that's not the word I'm going for, but you created such a powerful connection with Twilight that I couldn't help but tear up a little bit when she broke down. The detail and narrative were absolutely captivating, and you did a superb job of showing us everything that we needed to know.

Congratulations. You definitely deserve your spot in the featured box.

2513888

you wrote the greatest moonlight fic ever so that's best praise

ok this is so fucked up, AND I FREAKING LOVE IT

i see three scenarios.

1.- Nightmare Moon is indeed telling Twilight the truth, Celestia was a maniac, the genocide, everything she told is truth, but there is something conflicting this scenario, the Changelings at the end, it seems like they took some ponies form and instigated some lies and paranoia to make NMM look like a savior.

2.- All that NMM said are lies, she used the Changelings to make herself look like the savior while she is nothing but the Nightmare that the legends speak of, there is something wrong with this scenario, Celestia footage of Twilight´s life, but those bits could be from footage that was never meant to be seen, even by Celestia herself.

3.- Both scenarios are true in a way, Celestia was kinda of a maniac but also not so extremist, and NMM wishes to stop that madness and all that it would cause, and she used the changelings at the beginning to help spread the truth and make herself look good, because she wishes to be a good and fair ruler

The part about Shinning and the other fled the castle without looking for her could be part of the second scenario, NMM planning for her to hear that in order to chip Twilight´s resolve.
The Changelings in Canterlot could be part of scenario 1, and after NMM took over as ruler, she invited the starving Changelings and offered a place for them in her new Equestria.

whatever scenario this takes it has a very good and interesting premise, nice use of the S3 finale and how you used it as a core part of the story.

damm you now you have me hooked to this story and Solitary Locust, the nerve of you

2513913 Greatest.... That's just silly.

2513938

*except for mine obviously

i'm always right so you can't argue with me

Foolish Nightmare Moon.

If power is the difference between gods and mortals...

Tell me, what then is the difference between gods and devils?

And into which category do think you fall?

(Ya see, mind games can't work against the one who has the most powerful mind... that'd be me.)

2513962

oh my gosh I've been waiting for you

Oh boy.

This is going to be a ride.

Ok, first off, let me start with that I always enjoyed almost all Nightmare Moon as good character stories and I always like Nightmare Moon and Twilight to cooperate ( or Nightmare Moon cooperating with mane 6 ).
And I liked stories like " nightmares don't last forever ".

And as violent and abusing full of blood story " After That Fateful Night " was, I found it very interesting and even if Nightmare Moon and Twilight had a harsh start, it slowly turned into a good relationship and teamwork as both Twilight and Nightmare Moon started to respect one another, and as powerful Nightmare her child was, taking over Equestria and fighting again Griffon invasion proved to be very hard and challenging and balanced.

And it saddens me really that I will say it, but this story left be indeed very disappointed ( what I would not expected from story where Nightmare Moon spare Twilight life ).

First off, in other Nightmare Moon stories where Celestia is showed as not so perfect ruler as Twilight expected her to be, the reason behind it is legit and balanced, in this story however, Celestia is showed as manipulative monster.
In other stories Nightmare Moon have hard time to take over Equestira because population is very loyal to Celestia and resist, and even if other ponies turn again Twilight, the reason behind it is legit as well and it develop slowly, in this scene everypony just accept Nightmare Moon as they leader, trust her every word, hate Celestia and want to kill Twilight right away, if those kind of ponies really live in Equestria, if they so easy can betray they ruler, believe in everything so easy and want blood of innocent pony what was risking her live to save them all, then they deserve nothing but death or being controlled by Celestia, ponies in this story act out of character.
Next, as much as I understand that Twilight is not yet developed into stronger character and is still unsocial, but Twilight is still smart and strong character, and in this chapter she was showed as bad as possible.
Next, there is Nightmare Moon, this story try to show her as not monster but understanding and forgiving ruler, but the way she intentionally convince every-pony that Twilight is a monster, while she is innocent, I understand it was manipulative action to gain Twilight support, but I still fell that it was just a dick move.

And finally what I fell is biggest issue, while reading this story, I can not stop thinking like it is meant to strike again Magical Mystery Cure episode and make Twilight turning into Alicorn the worse think in the world, in the show Twilight was doing her best to be good student, to protect others, she and her friends risked they lives to do Dirty work while princesses did not bothered to help, do it was manipulated or not, Twilight was great leader who did more then any noble or soldier ever would, she proved that she can handle great power and be good leader, and this story show it as something evil and cruel.

The good think I found in this story is part when Nightmare Moon mention about Changeling as a race what can live in peace, but then it was ruined when Nightmare Moon mentioned that Celestia wanted to slaughter them only to excuse changeling invasion on Canterlot.

And then we get Shinning Armor and Twilight friends not even bothering to free Twilight from prison, Nightmare Moon getting huge number of followers and minions from no-where and taking over Equestria with easy, did Celestia and royal guards even resisted ? I fell like in episode " putting your hoof down " where all ponies in ponyvile were turned into jerks ( and angel into super jerk ) only for the sake of Fluttershy, in this story everything is like a stage where Nightmare Moon win with easy, everyone follow her right away, Celestia and her army is gone or defeated, everypony and even Twilight brother and friends want innocent Twilight dead, in front of other Nightmare Moon hero stories, this story truly disappointed me.

2513870 Probably the same thing I don't get.

If Nightmare Moon was this fanatical and dangerous, OR Celestia had really planned what she claimed..

Then would not in either case Celestia have taken more personal and extreme measure to prevent NM from returning?

The setup is not structurally sound.

2513987

I love Twilicorn

Few people here seem to realize that Nightmare may be twisting the truth a little bit--but then again this fandom is a concentration of the dregs of the internet. Celestia may have wanted to make Twilight into an alicorn, and she may have anticipated the things that happened in canon, but that doesn't mean she made them happen. Nightmare could just be putting a very negative spin on everything she knows, and filling the gaps with other vague nonsense.

Or not. Maybe Celestia really is that bad in this universe. None of my universes are the same. This one is nothing like the Listen and Learn or Thus Dwell in Joy ones, for example. We don't have Celestia here to confirm it. She's a very controlling, and self-controlled, pony, so it's entirely possible that she masterminded something like what Nightmare has described. Nightmare is not an entirely benevolent ruler in this scenario, but is still morally upright enough to realize that Celestia has cracked.

I'm just exploiting things I've noticed.

2514037 And that's the problem with the scenario.

If Celestia was truly evil, she would never have let her sister escape the lunar prison so easily.

You have forgotten that Celestia KNEW the exact time NMM was to be released.

Now, put yourself in the place of an evil, super-brilliant, scheming tyrant. You have imprisoned your sibling, the only one capable of stopping you other than an insane chaos god (who would probably approve of your budding insanity at this point and ally with you), and know that after a thousand years the stars shall aid in her escape. Do you then lay all the chances for your evil plans upon 6 young mares who are both innocent and inexperienced?

No, you spend the next thousand years creating weapons of incredible magical power to either permanently imprison or kill your sister.

And then, consider that this one lavender unicorn is the centerpiece of your genocidal plan of extreme madness. Do you then send her into the dangerous Everfree Forest against your sister whom you hate and despise?

You see, in the canon, the only reason Celestia let the Mane 6 deal with NMM was that Celestia was a KIND and BENEVOLENT ruler who wished to grant her sister another chance, and knew that only the Elements, wielded by proper Bearers, could make it happen.

Also, NMM in canon wasn't a murderer. She was bitter, lonely, jealous, and very shortsighted. But not a cold-hearted killer.

The lead-in events into this story do not make sense in the context of the changed history and characters. It would not have happened that way at all.

2514022

Twilight has been cut off from society for the last two or three weeks. She's only seen what Nightmare wants her to see, and heard what Nightmare wants her to hear... it's entirely possible that Celestia had some kind of backup plan in case the Elements of Harmony failed, but that it also collapsed or is still ongoing. It's possible she didn't expect Nightmare to be so powerful when she returned (lawl guess what I'm referencing) and simply made one huge mistake that cost her everything. I guess we'll never know.

gelmermunson.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/history-eraser-button.jpg

or will we
derrr

2514037

But this does not explain why every pony so easy go and betray Celestia and Equestria, so easy join Nightmare Moon, so easy want blood of innocent spilled, why Nightmare Moon won so easy, in other Nightmare Moon stories there is better conflict and far more resistance even when she win, in here she just win and all ponies act like her loyal puppets who hate Twilight just for the sake of it.

Now lets explore 2 scenarios:
Scenario 1: Nightmare Moon lie and make thinks up to trick Twilight and all ponies screaming " kill her " are just changeling's and golem's set up by Nightmare Moon as a farce to get Twilight loyalty, but then it would mean that she does not have good intentions in mind and she should not be put in Nightmare Moon hero stories in the first place ( unless she slowly change and redeem herself later ).
Scenario 2: Nightmare Moon speak true, Celestia really was ready to commit all those thinks and risk lives just to test and prepare Twilight to become Alicorn princess, but then we get all ponies betraying Celestia and Equestria willingly and becoming loyal to Nightmare Moon so very easy ( screw up loyalty, we will blindly listen to this dark evil looking pony who just took over the throne by force ), and then it also make then bloodthirsty and evil as they are ready to split blood of innocent pony who tried to protect them.

I know that in the show:
1) Celestia was a bit manipulative behind the scene to guide Twilight into right direction, but it was Twilight passing all challenges and leading group of ponies to save Equestria and succeeding every time what start the transformation, in the end no matter what strings Celestia would pull, she would not make Twilight become Alicorn, it was something Twilight had to do on her own ( without unlocking elements of harmony, without creating strong bonds with her friends, without surviving all threats and dangers, without figuring out how to fix destiny changing spell, she would never transform ).
2) It come to my understanding that Alicorns are not born but turned, Cadance probably was crystal Pony who turned into Alicorn after creating crystal heart, Celestia and Luna may be normal ponies who went on adventure to find a way to defeat Discord, and unlocking or creating elements of harmony also initiated they transformation ( those are just theories, and I will need to wait for season 4 to find answers ).
3) Celestia did not give Twilight a choice since she not give Twilight any information, and it is true, Celestia never give Twilight any important informations until it is to late, it prove that Celestia is manipulative, but she is also carrying and want what is the best ( though sending mane 6 without Luna help and without elements of harmony again Sombra, risking crystal empire, Cadance, Shinning Armor and bearers of harmony lives and also telling Twilight that she must save empire alone with slow Twilight progress as she not let Spike or any of her friends help in finding real crystal heart seems like a big downfall ).

Yet it still does not change the fact that this story give me bad first impression because Nightmare Moon win far to easy, and even if I can suspect that this is one big trick to get Twilight on Nightmare Moon side, it still not change the fact that ponies join Nightmare Moon far to easy, she just come, take over, all bow to her, Twilight become number 1 monster because she say so, end of the story ( by reading your changeling story, I figure out you really like to put Twilight into a lot of self conflicts, betrayals and tons of pain and suffering, but you also leave expression that all ponies are just ready to kill and cut of horns for almost no reason, you even make me afraid that Celestia will not believe that her student is in tons of pain and can die if she do not go and safe her directly ).

2514102

you suck blalgjfjg i hate you

words

i like watching you poke holes in my stories because reasons

please do listen and learn sometime it has more plotholes than darf's story list

Sweet Celestia ..

This is so ...wrong ... But it's such an amazing story .. I can't stop reading.

My feels.

This, is the beginning of something great. Do not... disappoint. Or else...

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