Chapter 1 Awakening
I woke up under a tree with a blistering headache.
'Man. How do I get myself into these types of situations?' I thought.
"Ugh. Might as well get home. But where am I? I've never been to this part of the Viridian Forest before."
The place was spooky and dark; the Viridian Forest has lots of light that manages to trickle through. As I got up, I just fell back down. I had large amounts of pain coming from my right paw. I even saw blood. I winced and yelled in pain - I'd never felt so much pain before.
"Tough it out, Eevee. Just try to find som eone to help you."
30 Minutes Later
'Man. I'm getting hungry and thirsty. I should find some berries and a stream.'
Fortunately, I was lucky enough to find a stream with cool water. I went in, drinking as much as I could. The next thing I'd have to find was some food. Walking on, I heard a bush rustling nearby.
"Who's there?" I interrogated. "Show yourself!"
Nothing.
More than a little unsettled, I ignored it the best I could and walked on, but I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me.
That's when a creature that had the face of a lion, the wings of a bat, and a scorpions stinger looked at me with a menacing glare. It looked at the puddle of blood that trailed behind me, moving in to lap it up. It had a satisfied smile as it approached. I was scared; at that moment, I thought that my li fe was going to end there.
I was prepared to die, however it seemed scared of something else. That was when I saw a yellow pony with wings stare at it intensely. The creature seemed frightened. If looks could kill.
"What are you doing, Fluffy?! You shouldn't hurt another animal!" the pony scolded.
It looked at me and proceed to growl, as if it was speaking to her.
"I don't care if he looked tasty! You shouldn't eat him; he's badly hurt. Now, go away and find something else to eat." she commanded, placing me on her back.
"There, there. He wasn't going to hurt you. Let's go to my cottage so we can heal you and feed you. How does that sound?"
I only nodded. I wanted to speak but I stopped myself. I didn't want to risk scaring her.
When we got to her house it was filled with animals: birds, squirrels, and r abbits mostly. She put me down on her couch.
"Stay here. I'm going to get the first aid kit and something to eat, okay?."
Again, I nodded. It felt weird but, then again, she was the one who saved me from being eaten.
I looked around the room. I saw a white bunny look at me. He looked mad at me. I then proceeded to talk, but only in whispers. I didn't want the pony to hear me.
"Hello my name is Eevee. What's your name?"
"The name's Angel. Who are you and why did Fluttershy save your flank?" he said, seemingly more than a little annoyed by my presence.
"I'm sorry. I just woke up in the forest with an injured paw. I tried to look for help but then a thing with wings tried to attack me. That's when she saved me."
"Well look, Fluttershy already has enough animals to look after."
"I'm sorr y. After she heals me and I get something to eat, I'll leave. I promise. I don't want any problems."
"That's good. Now, just stay here until she comes back, alright?"
I only nodded. That bunny scared me a lot. He seemed like the boss when Fluttershy wasn't around.
Fluttershy then returned.
"Could you please lift your paw?"
I nodded and proceeded to lift it.
"Looks like you hurt it badly. There is a large cut and your paw looks sprained."
I winced as she cleaned and dressed the cut.
"It's okay little one. My name is Fluttershy." She said, giving me an almost maternal smile, one I couldn't help but to return.
"Here. Have some applesauce. Eat up."
She then proceeded to feed me. I felt happy and she seemed like she cared for everyone. I wi sh I could've stayed, but I'd promised Angel that I would leave and I wasn't about to break my word.
I woke up a few hours later. It seemed like Fluttershyfell asleep next to me. I checked the clock: it was barely 1:00 A.M. I kept having conflicting emotion's: should I have stayed or should I have left? I didn't want Fluttershy to worry but I also didn't want to break my promise.
Screw it. I had to leave.
As I got off the couch, my paw started to feel a bit better. As soon as I got to the door, Angel tapped my shoulder.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"I'm leaving, remember? You told me that you wanted me to leave."
"Hmm. Never mind that. Just stay here. The only reason I said that was because she was paying more attention to you than us. I heard what happened, man. You actually survived an encounter with Fluffy ? You got guts."
"Hehe. Thanks." I chuckled.
"Hey, don't mention it. Now, get some sleep. You're going to need all your rest for tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Angel."
"Goodnight, Eevee."
He then turned around and slept on his bed. I made my way back to Fluttershy, who was still sleeping.
I started to think, hopefully, once my wound heals, that I could perform shadow ball,tackle,quick attack, and charm, that way, if there are any other mares like Fluttershy, I could turn on my charm.
The story has potential. However, you need to fix a lot of basic grammer errors. These include capitalizing names, missing commas.
It definently has a great idea and potential, but maybe do something about the run ons a little?
2302943 thanks for the tips anything to make the story better
Fluffy is a manticore isn't it?
eevee is my fave too
2331544Same!
I enjoy the Eevee family so much potential for amazing Pokemon for one adorable little Pokemon. My personal favorite eeveelution is the Flareon. (Eeveelution is a play on the fact that Eevee has as stated in the Pokedex "Unlimited Evolutionary potential.")
punctuation.
I think you meant "I woke up under a tree with a blistering headache, "Man, how do I get myself in these types of situations." I thought to myself"
Normally I dont point this stuff out, but that almost made me stop reading the story then and there.
the only reason is dont like this is more of a personal prefrance than anything else but for some reason i tend to see most Eevee's as girls...so yea apart from that its good...i will shut up now
I'm rather thankful Angel wasn't a total ass here.
Awesome first chapter man! I did see some errors and it was hard to understand at times, but I could care less. It is pretty good and I can't wait to keep reading
I enjoyed the first chapter a lot. I think you captured Angel excellently. FAVORITE Cause I love Eevee myself.
Hmmm... I thought Angel will be a jerk but I was WRONG. It really surprised that Angel was kind.
I looked like this:
I saw "evee" in the title then my face was like this:
POKEMON CROSSOVER YYYYYYYEEEEEAAAAZHHHHHH huzzah I adore pokemon and evee is soooooooo cute!
KWAIIIIIII!!!!!! (Cute in japanieze is kwai)
Response to the author's note:
Mine too
I love all pokemon including eevee because it has 8 different evolution forms