Falling
A few nights passed, and Chrysalis’ little army of stuffed Changelings had slowly but surely filled the chest in which she kept them. Currently, her knitting needles were clicking in tandem on a larger project; Sweetie Belle, ever the curious and nosy foal, had been unable to keep her nose out of others’ business and had found the chest of dolls, requesting one when Chrysalis returned from the bathroom.
She sighed as she turned the doll in her magic, getting a better view of what she was doing. It was a simple doll of, of all things, a Timberwolf. Sweetie Belle hadn’t explained why she wanted such a thing, but Chrysalis wasn’t inclined to ask anyway; with the nonsense that Sweetie and her friends got up to on a daily basis as a baseline to keep in mind, Sweetie could have simply found them fascinating, or thought the little ones cute.
Having seen the wooden wolves’ pups once upon a time herself, Chrysalis would be inclined to agree. Still, asking Sweetie Belle her reasoning behind wanting this doll made would lead to a long, rambling, and horridly squeaky rant that Chrysalis didn’t feel inclined to subject herself to.
She would likely find herself covered in tree sap by the end of it somehow anyway.
With only the clock’s ticking, her needles clicking, and the staccato sound of Rarity’s sewing machine farther up the hall interrupting the peaceful silence of the building, she had long fallen into what Rarity would call ‘the zone’. Essentially tuning out all outside influence beyond her work, she’d slipped into a rhythm that kept her pace high, and the doll had slithered into existence efficiently enough for her to hopefully have it done before sundown.
Speaking of the alabaster mare, however, she… wasn’t exactly on pleasant terms with her right now. After the somewhat public confrontation over her treatment of young Spike, Rarity and Twilight had both asked why it had been aired in such a setting.
“The most important lessons,” Chrysalis had calmly retorted, “should be memorable.”
Rarity had taken this somewhat harsher than Twilight had, and had subsequently been rather frosty towards the diminutive changeling all afternoon. Chrysalis didn’t mind much, the time that Rarity would likely have taken up with idle chat was instead being utilized for more… constructive purposes.
Learning that Spike had been, and was technically still being home schooled was no real surprise; what teacher is going to teach arts and crafts to a child just as likely to glue two pieces of paper together as burn them after all? Still, Celestia and Twilight had effectively raised him with a well-rounded education. He was, apparently, already certified in library management and was the actual librarian of the Golden Oaks, and not his caretaker as many suspected. He even received a stipend from the crown for the library’s upkeep on top of the usual gemstones that Celestia would treat him with. Oh, sure, Twilight dictated what books they should order, but he was the one with the funds and the know-how to get it all done.
Still, unpleasant topics abound for the gathering.
Her sister, Thistle, was coming to Ponyville, and she had planned to be prepared to instruct a most unwilling pupil. She turned the doll in her magical grip again, carefully affixing a pair of button eyes to its head.
“The most important lessons should be memorable,” she mumbled, staring into the doll’s gaze, “and I know the most… effective instructor.”
*&*&*&*
She had strolled into town two minutes ago. Chrysalis knew this as well as she knew that the sun was high in the sky; she could sense her on the wind. She came in from the north of town and was idly moving south, her course set. She’d diverted down a couple of side-streets, likely looking for potential hiding spots should Chrysalis decide to run, but she was moving directly to the Boutique. Chrysalis’ own magic had been furiously putting the final touches onto her plans, a week and a half’s worth of research, development, and planning between herself, the Element Bearers, and the Royal Sisters.
Her implementation finalized, Chrysalis sat back on her haunches and looked back at the purple unicorn just behind her on her right, one of the many ponies flanking her. Twilight nodded at the unspoken message between them, and Chrysalis gave an unsteady nod in return before her gaze drifted to the road before her.
This was it.
“There will be few, if any, pleasantries,” Chrysalis advised nervously, “Do not expect to talk her into submission.”
“Why not?” Applejack asked from behind her, the mare nervously fiddling with the brim of her hat.
Chrysalis shook her head, “Because it wouldn’t have worked on me, either.”
The tall, imposing figure of Thistle strolled into view from a side-street. Sunlight glittered off of her apparently shined carapace, and her mane and tail moving gently with the breeze as she squared off with them.
“Thistle,” Chrysalis began, her tone barely controlled to be as neutral as she could manage, “what an unpleasant surprise. You look tired; I would have imagined you’d be busy at the Hive with all of your subjects."
Thistle cackled, “Oh, dearest sister, home is simply too quiet without you there. How our subjects beg for your return, it aches in my heart to deny them. Why, they’re practically dying for you to join them. In fact, I believe I recall one of their voices enough recite it, something like…” A flash of flames flared around her throat before she spoke again, her voice now sounding like a young foal’s as she screamed out, “Mommy help me, it hurts! Where’s our Queen?! Please, Chrysalis, help, mommy’s stopped mov-“
“Silence your tongue, witch!” Chrysalis bellowed loud enough to cut her off and echo across the street, a snarl on her face to rival the most furious of wolves. “You would mock the suffering of our kind, and make a joke of the dead!? Our parents are surely rolling in their graves! Did you show mercy for any of them, or were they both a meal and a plaything to you?!”
“Everything is a plaything to those with strength, Chrysalis; if you ever attained the power I hold, you would know.” Thistle growled, “You know, initially I was going to play the double-bluff, make your allies think you’d betrayed them before draining the magic from their very cores, and leave them as dried up husks for you to lament over; but I think brute force is all that a nothing like you will ever understand. You clearly didn’t get the message when you were removed from the Hive.” She sighed listlessly as she strolled forward, “That you survived the winter chill was a blessing. That these ponies,” she spat the word with venom, “would show you the mercy to spare you an execution was their mistake. You are all foals, and you should respect your betters!”
Chrysalis grinned wolfishly as Thistle took a few more steps, “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.”
A magic circle, hidden beneath the dust and gravel on the road, lit up beneath Thistle’s left foreleg. With a bass thud that shook the buildings around them, the road exploded and threw Thistle to the dirt a dozen feet back. She shakily got to her hooves, shaking her mane from her eyes in bewilderment.
“What the..?”
“Since you seem to have learned nothing from our father’s teachings, I suppose I shall have to request the greatest teacher in the land give you a refresher.” Chrysalis announced, before turning to Celestia.
The Princess, in turn, nodded down at Chrysalis before beginning to speak; “Welcome, Thistle, to Equestria. This country holds the most fertile of almost any land on Equus, and is primary home to Ponies. You will find, of all the lands in this world, nowhere else where the very earth itself can roar with magic.” She paused as Thistle trod on another hidden circle, which froze her left foreleg to the ground in a shard of ice. “Here, the pony monarchy have raised and lowered the sun and moon for countless millennia, and as such the soil itself teems with magic fallout. Enough magic to support spells of incredible complexity.
“Few, if any, races can claim to have ever stormed ponies at their seat of power, though none have ever succeeded. Though weak and frail in comparison to some other races, ponies have an ingenuity which, when in concert with their natural abilities, makes them quite formidable. Unicorns can make entire swathes of land impassable through the use of magical minefields,”
Thistle’s wings roared to life as she began to fly towards them. She managed to fly a few dozen meters into the magic minefield when she was blindsided by a storm cloud nearly pitch-black in hue. The cloud, something that Chrysalis had instructed Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash how to make, exploded in a bright and near-deafening clap of thunder and lightning on contact.
“Pegasi can create Warheads, storm clouds of such intense density that any sudden jolt causes them to release all of their stored capacity in one, explosive burst.” Celestia commented, watching disinterestedly as Thistle crashed to the ground only to be bounced off of another hidden magic circle back to where she started. “And Earth Ponies, who can fight with the strength and fury of fully-grown manticore, make attacking by land a hard fought endeavor. To ever assault Equestria, one must be prepared to take on all three pony races in concert.”
Thistle struggled to her hooves, magic sparking along her horn as she snarled and glared at them murderously. “This… is my land now…” she wheezed, almost spitting at them. “And it will obey me if I have to take it by force and blood!”
“The land itself abhors hateful bloodshed,” Celestia lectured, watching warily as Thistle charged a spell and lit her own horn, “and is tainted for centuries with near-uncontrollable corruption should violence on a grand scale occur. In short, Equestria itself makes fighting for it worthless, as the land becomes unusable.” Her horn loosed its magic, and a dome shield burst to life around her group as Thistle released her own spell with a roar.
“Shut up!”
Her magic scoured the cobblestones between her and their group, burning away hidden magic circles and setting off physical traps before incinerating them. The smell of charred stone rose from the street in its wake, and with a huff Thistle strode forward.
“But they are not the only things that invaders need fear of Equestria,” Celestia’s voice echoed out, her wings fanning wide and blowing the dust and smoke away with a majestic sweep, “the very magic of the world itself is known to be under their control to some extent, known as the Elements of Harmony.”
“The elements are a myth,” Thistle snarled, “like the toothbreezie, the jackalope, and Discord!”
“Oh, I assure you, my dear, they are quite real.” Celestia stated, sharing a knowing look with Fluttershy and her sister. “Your sister managed to get as much of a foothold in Canterlot as she did through the element of surprise, but you? You let us know you were coming; you gave us time to prepare. You will not win, Thistle; surrender.
“I assume that you are the famed ‘Princess Celestia’,” Thistle hissed.
“You would be correct,”
Thistle huffed, “More useless ponies,” she growled as her eyes roamed across the group gathered around a defiant Chrysalis, “If my sister can beat you, you’ll be nothing more than a pointless obstacle in my way.” Her horn charged for an instant before firing a quick bolt of magic at the solar diarch. “Be gone, worms.”
The world seemed to slow down as all eyes tracked the magic, watching it split into multiple beams, only for them to burst ineffectively against a golden shield that sprung to life between them.
All but one.
Luna’s scream of agony echoed across the street, and Chrysalis flinched as faintly glowing crimson blood spattered across her face. She turned sluggishly to see Luna’s form slump to the ground, and her eyes widened at the size of the wound upon the alicorn’s side. A gaping hole starting at her shoulder and spanning halfway down her right side lay open, much of it clear through the muscle beneath.
She couldn’t remember moving, only that she had been sat like a statue one moment and at Luna’s side the next. Pinkie’s hooves had wrapped around her and her magic was straining to use up what the pink mare was supplying her in her attempt to heal the downed alicorn, if only enough to keep her from bleeding out. She could feel Luna’s blood slowly pooling around her hooves, though the flow lessened as her magic worked.
“Only one? A pity,” Thistle smugly said, “though I suppose she will at least no longer interfere with my dream invading.”
Grass and plants around them wilted as the world grew hot, a furnace blazing amongst them as Celestia stood and unfurled her wings, mane and tail billowing like fire around her, her eyes glowing white in a furious snarl. “It would seem, Thistle, that you have made an… unwise decision.”
Thistle scoffed, “Oh, really? And whatever are you going to do about it, princess?”
Celestia’s flight muscles bunched and bulged, Rainbow Dash staring at the sheer size of those on her back, “Tell me, Thistle, do you know what light does to shadows?”
Thistle rolled her eyes, “I suppose this is one of your trick questions, princess, but do tell.”
“It burns.”
With a mighty flap of her wings, Celestia tackled Thistle at a speed that had even Rainbow Dash stunned, leaving a sonic quake in her wake which violently shook the windows of every building around them. Somewhere in the distance, something struck the earth with enough force to cause the ground at their hooves to shudder, which was enough to snap Twilight from her shock.
After a shake of her head, she snapped orders, “Rainbow, head to the hospital and get us some emergency doctors!” She barely waited for the pegasus to reply before spinning on the spot to her next friend, “Fluttershy, help Applejack make Luna more comfortable and keep her calm, the last thing she needs is to go into shock!” Another thud in the distance, this time accompanied by a plume of soil four storeys high, gave her pause before she continued, “Rarity, I don’t know if you can feel what I can, but the love in that hug from Pinkie is increasing Chrysalis’s magic pool exponentially. Remember what she said, about royal changelings and power? Keep her grounded. Do whatever it takes, Luna can't afford a slip up here.” Her teeth grit as she looked about at her gathered, yet busy, friends, then lit up her magic. “I don’t know much about healing magic, but I’ll do what I can.”
*
“Every army, every warrior, every dictator, who has ever brought war to Equestria’s borders has met the same fate, Thistle. I have seen cities razed, armies slain, and even had the unpleasantness of having to cart the dead home. I’ve borne witness to more funerals than I can even remember, all in the name of somepony else’s pointless attempts at conquest. Do you know what happened to those that challenged me personally? Their spirits crushed, hearts broken, and their bodies burned.” Celestia tilted her neck as a bolt of magic lanced past her, missing her only thanks to this action. With an unholy screech Thistle launched towards her, slamming into a golden shield that the solar diarch raised at the last possible moment. A sigh left her while the enraged changeling thrashed against her barrier.
“Unlike you, Thistle, I am most fond of my sister.” She angrily spoke, “I have been without her for too long, endured the weight of loneliness placed on my shoulders for far longer than I once thought possible. Her return was a blessing, a new beginning for the both of us.” A backhoof swing from the alicorn sent Thistle crashing to the ground. “To lose her now…” Celestia shook her head, refocusing on the changeling that soared at her, charging magic in her horn. “I would see the world burn before that should happen,” she blocked another searing bolt with a shield before catching Thistle’s swung hoof with her own, gracefully turning the move into a slap that spun Thistle in a pirouette, “and I’d scour the land in search of whoever would dare try and take her from me!”
Thistle snarled, “Mere sentimentality, Princess; that is what makes you too weak to rule, what made my sister weak enough to trust until it was too late for her to stop me; it will be your downfall as it was to so many others. Stallions fought tooth and hoof to save their wives from me, mares likewise to protect their foals. All have fallen, as shall you! You call this pathetic show a fight? Where’s the fury you charged me with, where’s the rage? All you’ve done so far is stand there on that cloud and swat at me! Come on, stop wasting my time and fight me so I can show you how weak you are!”
“There is more than one form of strength, Thistle,” Celestia said patiently, “though I suppose simple minds cannot fathom more than one at a time.” She braced herself against the cloud, muscles in her legs and flanks tensing like coiled and powerful springs. “You want a show of power, to see the extent of my capabilities? The sun itself would scorch you from the face of the world, leave nothing but a crater for your sister to mourn over; the land would blister and boil around you. Dodge if you can, you will fall upon the next strike of my hoof. The simple clearly cannot understand strength other than physical, and I am more than happy to teach you how simple you truly are;
“Here I come.”
Her tensed muscles sprung, launching Celestia at her opponent at breakneck speeds found only on the brink of a Rainboom, and Thistle barely had time to move to one side before Celestia had flapped a wing, changed her momentum, and reappeared in her face. Time, it seemed, had slowed to a crawl, and she could do nothing but stare in disbelief at the furious expression on the Princess’s face as one of her hooves slapped Thistle’s chin, rolling her whole body to expose her underbelly, and her other hoof, glowing with Celestia’s magic, connected with Thistle’s gut in an over-arm punch. She felt the chitin beneath Celestia’s hoof shatter, ribs crack, and could taste her own blood creeping up her throat.
Celestia’s lips moved in a single word before an explosion drowned out the world, a snarl that would likely put furious dragons to shame; “Burn.”
The explosion, visible from Manehattan, scorched the sky and scattered clouds for almost ten kilometres. Windows shuddered and cracked, and the land beneath their brawl baked in its furious heat. Thistle felt fire leave her throat, her insides screaming in agony as she seemed to burn from within. Before she could comprehend what had just occurred she struck the ground, gouging a path along one of Ponyville’s streets until she came to rest, still smoking and sizzling, at Chrysalis’s hooves.
A shod hoof thudded heavily into the cracked cobblestone by her left ear, and Celestia’s head lowered down next to the charred auditory appendage. Thistle coughed, smoke, blood, and bile spattering the cobbles from within her throat, and she groaned in agony.
Celestia cleared her throat; “Class dismissed.”
A second cough, this one morphing into agonized groaning, was her only response.
Celestia huffed and straightened up, turning away from the downed changeling and moving to her student, who stood nearly stupefied at the carnage wrought upon Thistle so easily. “Twilight; how is she?”
Shaking her head, the studious lavender unicorn snapped back to attention, “Princess Luna has been taken to Ponyville General for emergency surgery;” she responded forlornly, “she’s lost almost a litre of blood, but thanks to Chrysalis and myself keeping her condition from worsening, Fluttershy and Applejack keeping her from going into shock, and the swift arrival of Ponyville’s doctors, she should make a full, if not lengthy, recovery.” She breathed in sharply, refilling her empty lungs, “Or, at least, that’s what Nurse Redheart said when she was about to leave.” She added sheepishly.
The solar diarch nodded solemnly, sitting alongside her student and cupping her with her wing. “As I am aware that they will not allow me to see her until she is stable, I suppose I shall remain here to oversee matters of state; one unruly noble in particular.” She shot Thistle a foul glare to punctuate her sentence. “I imagine, however, that this will be a lesson which will not be forgotten for a long time.”
Thistle groaned from the cobblestones, her eyes roaming the street drunkenly before settling on the hooves of her sister. She stared at Chrysalis’s hooves for a few moments before drifting up to see the disappointed scowl on her face.
She coughed up another puff of foul smelling smoke, “S-sister… I’ve just had the… strangest dream.”
With a sigh Chrysalis spoke in return, “Do tell, Thistle.”
She shook her head, flinching as she brushed her singed cheek against the ground. “I… called every changeling in the hive… one family at a time, into the court room. I drained them of their magic, their love… every stallion, mare, and f-foal…” She chuckled with a groan, “Picked a fight with… some imaginary mare, too. I must have… passed out in your room after the transferral magic. But… how did I get here, and why does everything… hurt?”
“Memory loss..?” Twilight whispered worriedly.
“In a sense, Miss Sparkle,” Chrysalis replied calmly, “When I broke free of my mania after the wedding, I could only recall the whole ordeal as if it were a dream. If not for the affirmations of my changelings, and the devastation the Hive had suffered as a consequence of my foolish actions, I would likely have thought it all as such.” She huffed down at her sister, “Thistle… that was no dream. Through your actions, you attempted to murder your own sister, viciously wounded one of the rulers of the most powerful nation on Equus, and have single-hoofedly made our race all but extinct. Every changeling was drained of their love, their life, by you. You got what you wanted, sister; you will be remembered as more than just my sibling. You will be remembered as the mare that devoured her own kind off the face of Equus.”
“What are you… talking about?” Thistle asked confusedly, her eyes looking about the street as she twitched violently, “we’re not extinct; there are plenty of us here. Look, there’s Circlet. And over there, Lofty Swing…” A goofy, almost relieved smile grew on her face. “Look, even mother and father are here!”
Chrysalis looked about the empty street, before returning her gaze to her sister. “No, Thistle, they are not. You left them all at the hive, after draining them to death, leaving them nothing more than a hollowed husk, and our parents have been dead for centuries.”
“Sister, how could you be so heartless to suggest such a thing?” Thistle protested, before she turned her attention to a blank patch of air and focused on it, her ears twitching. “I know, Lofty… so rude of her to suggest that y-you’re d-dead.” She was cut off by a violent coughing fit, before she continued to talk.
Chrysalis bit her lip, watching her sister begin to hold a conversation with nothing but air, before turning a desperate face to Celestia. The solar princess sighed and shook her head.
“Thistle,” Chrysalis began with her voice soft, “can you hear me?”
“Of course, mother, I love you too.”
At this Chrysalis twitched, and finally bit into her lip. As blood oozed over her chin, tears fought their way through her eyes. “Thistle, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, please, forgive me…”
“What’s going on, Twilight?” Pinkie asked worriedly, “She was all vicious a minute ago, what’s happening?”
Twilight shook her head, “I… Pinkie… It’s something that…” She fought for words, trying to keep her tone respectful as she spoke, “If I’m right, waking from the power-induced insanity that queens suffer from is like waking from a lucid dream. It… Thistle has awoken from the madness to learn that she single-hoofedly cannibalized her own species.”
“Even a mind such as my own, strengthened by age and experience, can only take so much strain, Pinkie.” Celestia said calmly, “Dealing with that strain is up to the individual. Some simply can’t. I can recall royal guards, hardened soldiers after a war with the Gryphon Empire, reduced to quivering messes at the sight of them for years after the fighting had ended. The loss of family can have much the same affect, as I’m sadly sure Applejack and her siblings are all too aware. Thistle seems to have been… unable to take the reality that she has destroyed the changelings.”
“She’s gone mad, Pinkie.” Twilight said sadly, “I don’t think she can even tell the difference between reality and her hallucinations anymore.” She sighed. “It seems almost too convenient.”
“I… I’m your big sister and I couldn’t help you, I’m…” Chrysalis huffed as her body heaved with a heavy sob, “What good am I…”
Slowly, gently, Celestia shifted closer and pulled Chrysalis into her forelegs, wrapping her in an embrace that she didn’t even attempt to break free from. “It’s alright, Chrysalis,” she softly spoke into her ear. “It is not your fault.”
“I couldn’t even protect her from herself.”
“I know,” Celestia replied solemnly, “believe me, I know.”
“Who’s that dark blue pony?” Thistle asked, her attention down the street where nopony else could see anyone, “She’s pretty, but she’s just standing there and watching! She should come here and meet everypony! Oh, she doesn’t seem very happy, she’s glaring at me.”
“Luna must be out of surgery,” Celestia muttered, “she must be walking in Thistle’s hallucinations as if they were daydreams. Likely checking up on us, making sure we are okay.”
Chrysalis huffed, removing herself from Celestia’s embrace and staring down at her broken sister. “Thistle… I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me for what I... what I must do.”
Green wispy smoke began to curl up from Chrysalis’ eyes, and shadowy, dark purple flames built up along her horn. The foul magic built up for a moment and, after a short release, Thistle’s corkscrew horn sheared from her head, hitting the stones with a clack. Another build up, and Chrysalis thrust her horn to the remaining stump, forcing dark magic into the wound which hissed and sizzled under the foul sorcery.
Realizing what had just occurred, Celestia pulled Chrysalis back away from her sister. The shock of her quick movement cut Chrysalis’s magic off, leaving her disoriented.
“Chrysalis, what have you done?!”
She shook her head, clearing the last of the dark magic from her senses, “What had to be done, Celestia;” she replied solemnly, “she has the entire hive’s worth of magic within her, enough to destroy all of Ponyville, and now she can’t even tell reality from delusion. I have, temporarily, removed her ability to channel magic, and seared the wound to delay her regeneration. She can be safely detained now, with minimal risk to herself or others.”
Celestia paled, for as much a white pony could, “And what gave you the right to-“
“She is my sister, Celestia!” Chrysalis snapped, rivulets of tears running down her face as she bore her teeth at the alicorn, “I have every right! What I’ve just done… I made the choice because there’s nopony else left to make it!” She sobbed loudly, turning her face to the stone beneath her, “She cannot choose for herself, so I made the only real choice because I have to hope that given some time and help, some day she might come back from her madness. I need to hope, Celestia… she’s all I have left!”
She sighed and looked down at her sister, who had fallen asleep, likely from the injuries her body was riddled with, “I made the choice, for the first time in countless years, to put her needs above those of others. She’s my sister, Celestia, not some toy; I can’t just abandon her because she’s broken.” Her whole body shook forcefully, “There are no changelings left, Princess; I can’t… I can’t lose her too.”
Celestia sighed, “Alright, I understand, Chrysalis; but she will need heavy restraints. She is much stronger than most of my little ponies, and we do not want anyone injured should she become hostile.”
With a nod, Chrysalis agreed, “Yes, of course.” She mumbled, “Perhaps it is best that you summon some guards to come collect her; I do not like the thought of the rumours that will spread if we cart her t-to the asylum ours-selves…”
“Yes, I suppose so.” The princess replied, before shooting a magical flare into the sky, “The guard should be here shortly; for now, let her rest.”
Chrysalis coughed a laugh through a sob as her foreleg brushed some of Thistle’s mane from her sleeping face. “She managed to do what she came here for, Celestia;
“She managed to hurt me more than ever before.”
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... I saw this update and was like, "Did I have a story like this in my favorites list?" Then noticed it's been more than two years since the last update. "OH! That would be why."
I don't know. I honestly don't know. i liked Celestia owning Thistle but having her live and this nearing the end. i just don't know.
This is why I rarely declare a story dead. A story is not completely dead until the author says so. And this one still lives, which pleases me.
That said, I do hope that the last chapter won't keep us waiting quite that long. :)
Having her live is a bit... convenient.
She was a monster from the start , even without the power trip , because of what she did to Chrysalis ... and because of what he did during her power trip.
Chrysalis , even when maddened , never went as far as she did...
But at the same time , you can't blame the insane or the amnesiac for their actions...I'm conflicted.
Please tell me that they can rebuild, that Chryssie can restore her species.
So glad to see this updated. And it is always a joy to see Celestia have a chance to lay the smackdown on some pony.
7697721
You don't have to blame them for their actions. Kill them while they're still a threat in order to prevent such a threat from arising again. Not after they cease being a threat because then it's just murder. Kill them when they're trying to eat a baby and you're a hero.
7697684
I too, feel the same way. I'm glad that for fucking once Celestia wasn't just forced to be some casual observer, or dumbed down to be some hapless damsel, like in most stories featuring her. This was quite a nice change.
But Thistle underwent that mental break at a rush. While that's the speed it would occur at, I feel like the pace of the chapter became too rapid after the fight.
You know this brings up an interesting question, what did happen to the other changelings not present at the hive when Thorax took over?
7698001 This is an alternate universe, since it does have that tag. So Thorax may have never came into being in this story.
7698030 I know, but the description reminds me of that
0_o
IT LIVES
Holy shit. Now that was very dark but understandable though. Honestly I'm hoping that the few free changeling out there will now raily under chrysalis
Meh. Should've just squashed the roach.
This to me feels as lame as the Doctor sobbing when the Master was dead.
Seriously, consider if you and Adolf Hitler were the last two humans left alive.
Would you really feel sad if Adolf kicked the bucket?
7699179
That was going to be one of the possible endings, that Thistle would not survive the day, but I didn't particularly like that outcome, not entirely sure why. Maybe it just seemed more... poetic to me that, after all her grandstanding, all her brutality, the one part of her that couldn't cope with what she had done was the part that has, more or less, left her unable to function.
Besides, it's a land of technicolour pony weirdoes and I much prefer that we're left with the possibility of recuperation. She'll not escape justice just because she's dropped all her marbles, it'll just have to wait until after she's better -if she gets better. If not, well; living forever inside a padded room in an asylum... I'd say that's pretty good punishment.
7699278 They DID blow Sombra up, you know.
Sometime, ya gotta blast the tyrant baddie to bits.
It's weird to feel as bad for Thistle as I do right now.
I feel there is no emotional attachment at all in this. Luna getting injured didn't make me feel worried, it just seemed odd that she would get caught off guard when she probably has similar combat skills to Celestia. 7697813 made the point that Celestia is not the damsel in distress for once, probably because that mantel was forced onto Luna's head. I also felt no investment in the fight, the build up was too quick and the planning glossed over so I didn't even feel proud of the characters when their ploy works.
The past couple chapters and mentions of Thistle seemed to be leading up to some grand confrontation which turned out to only be a quick pissing fight. The speed at which the conflict was resolved cheapens the build up that was hinted at.
My only issue with this chapter would be how it seemed like Luna forgot how to fight period while Celestia basically want super sayian. Even if Luna wasn't as strong as Celestia, that wouldn't leave her to simply go down like that I think. Especially if they really were all focused and had planned everything from the start as was told. Other than that, the chapter was pretty good in my opinion.
7701594
Well, my problem wasn't that Luna was, for once, the one who needed protecting (should be the case far more often). Just that it was handled in a very blase manner. I almost hadn't noticed Luna had gone down until Celestia got pissed off. The thousand years-less experienced of the two not being as ready is perfectly acceptable.
7701267
The speed of the fight wasn't bothering me. It's a little too anime-ish, video game-ish for me to assume that the final big enemy is meant to be some massive struggle for the greatest power in the strongest nation of the world. It's that the writing pace of the fight was too quick. There could have been more detail, more tension. Short but impactful battles can be quite amazing, even if they're largely one-sided, it just depends on how they're presented.
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My point is that there's no impact in the whole scene. There's no language to grip me. No cinematic immersion to fall into. I am VERY appreciative of Celestia actually saying 'Fuck it I'm going to wear your ass out, break your skull open, and spit fire into your brain!' for once. Sorely needed on this largely pro-'Luna is the best at everything and Celestia is a useless cake-tyrant' website and community, despite how neither of those things can be true for Equestria to be as prosperous and stable as it is.
Just there's no magnetism for the fight itself. It was more 'Eh this is happening, I'm reading it.'
7702745
I apologize that it wasn't better written, I must admit that, for the majority of this chapter, I was basically beating writer's block down with my head attempting to get it written and published because, let's face it, this thing has been sitting here for two years going nowhere.
I know it could likely have been better, but I just couldn't get it perfect, y'know? I tried my best and, even though I'm satisfied with it how it is, I'm not totally happy with it either. Sadly, I don't think that if I took it down and did it again it would come out much better; if anything, it might be worse.
I know I can do better, and I'll certainly try to do better in future, but for now, I can only apologize.
7701594
Also, big sister Celestia had things covered, that Thistle's blast went through her shield was meant to be unexpected, or even a show that she had some level of power behind her.
In the Discord version, it was Fluttershy who got hit, and in Luna's it was Celestia. Really, in essence, the Discord one didn't make sense because this is pre-Tirek and, well he wasn't exactly trustworthy then, was he? Well, that and I think a lot of people would be mad that I hurt their waifu.
This one made more sense because, as Aurora Dimmet pointed out, Luna's been out of practice for a thousand years. She's a bit rusty. Meanwhile, Celestia's had basically endless practice.
7702968
Hey, don't worry. Not harshing you on this, I understand writer's block and how it beats down anything you force through it with a cudgel. My own block basically assassinated my writing ability years ago - so I've been there. Just giving you feedback, genuine and honest feedback. Not the sort where I'm actually trying to cut you down but dress it up as legit criticism so I can get away with it, like what goes on a lot.
On the bit about hurting waifus, Luna and Fluttershy are basically equal at first place for this fandom. I'm expecting some actually unfair bitching soon, in fact. Luna wins every popularity poll, has the vast majority of fans, art, music, and stories where she's the 'better' of the two. People who don't make primarily Luna-centric content when it comes to the two sisters tend to be ignored. I've been watching this crap closely since early 2011 and I am not pleased.
I think your outline for this chapter was great. Its only failing was dramatic execution and form. Things that can be corrected or prevented in the future. No big.
I think my only complaint thus far is Luna getting hurt like that - that Luna, who was able to fight Celestia to a standstill such that she forcibly used the Elements to seal her to the moon, would be unable to dodge or shield herself seems... wrong
Yes
I loved this story. And the chapter fit. Though I can't really see trustier not dying like it should happen for what she's done.
I really hope that chrysaslis really isn't the last changeling
Wow, Thistle didn't do ANY research before coming here, did she?
Chrysalis had a plan at least. It fell apart in the end due to an unexpected variable, but it was a plan.
Thistle just insulted and attacked the mother-bucking princess of the mother-bucking sun.
This is such a beautiful story that reforms chrysalis perfectly and gives me all i want in a story. The ending was heart reaching and I hope for a sequel this is probably my second favourite fanfiction I have ever read . Evryone should read this it is amazing and even inspired me to write my own story about chrysalis don't worry I won't steal your idea.
please keep writing it gives me so much joy
7702968
What's going to happen to crylasils sister since the sun alicorn said she would need to be under heavy restraints what does she mean by that any ideas for a sequel or next chapter please respond
Good read so far! While Thistle has given me a fair amount of salt, I do hope she survives and we can get another redemption arc; not that she really deserves to be redeemed after everything she did, but redemption stories are my jam, haha.
Enjoyed the chapter. When I started reading this fic, I had been looking for a Chrysalis redemption story that had Chrysalis beaten down and hurt and forced into the care of ponies where she could slowly be redeemed. The only thing this story didn't meet as far as my wish list went was my hope for a heavy emphasis in the princesses, but aside from that, this story was absolutely perfect, and I hope you find the time to finish it, especially since it only has one chapter left.
Personally, I'm hoping Discord might make an appearance and fix everything that's been done, mostly because it seems a shame to let a story like this end with Chrysalis and Thristle as the last changelings.
7789961
Would have been better to use her power to strike down Princess Celestia and Luna at the same time but even then Twilight would have been taking thristle down would have been better to do with an attempt a plan like what Queen Chrysalis did but to be fair she was power hungry and mad just like Queen Chrysalis