• Published 20th Mar 2013
  • 3,399 Views, 67 Comments

Dreaming of the Moon - BeardedRedMane

Anon, a practitioner of Lucid Dreaming one day finds himself in a peculiar dream. One that he cannot seem to wake up from.

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Chapter 6 Crossing Cultural Boundaries (Revised)

"So, where to next?" Anon beamed with a smile that would make Pinkie proud. They had not too long ago left Town Hall and to the best of his knowledge they were going to hit up everything of interest in the small town. Anon was still a bit upset that the party had to end after only an hour and a half and noticed that Applejack and Rarity were a bit upset as well; however for completely different reasons. Their younger sisters Sweetie Bloom and Apple Bell, if Anon remembered correctly, failed to show up to the festivities. Applejack said something about hoping the Cootie Mark Crusaders weren't getting into any trouble

"I wanted to take you to Sugarcube Corner next but--

"But we were thinkin' that ya might've had yer fill of sweets for the moment." Or for the year, but hey, who's counting? Pinkie pouted as Applejack continued, "Now don't be that way Pinkie, any more sweets and this fellars gonna burst; we'll visit the cakes again once all those sweets settle." Turning her gaze back up to Anon she added, "Right now we're on our way to Sweet Apple Acres, home of the tastiest Apples ya ever laid yer peepers on."

"If I could interrupt; since my boutique is on the way to your farm we simply must stop by my by. It would give me a chance to properly measure you for a new ensemble."

"Alright, I'm totally up for that!" Anon announced with a little more enthusiasm than he should have. It's either wear this same pair of clothes for a week straight or go for a stroll in my birthday suit… Anon grimaced at the thought of the alternatives.

Dash flapped down near Anons ear and quietly complained, "Oh c'mon Anon! Don't tell me you actually enjoy standing still for hours trying on frou-frou looking clothes? Wouldn't you rather do something more cool?!"

Anon debated for a second before shaking his head, "Sorry Dash, but it's not like it's literally going to take five hours, right? Besides," Anon turned his head toward Rarity, "It would be rude of me not to take a tour of Rarity's boutique after she so generously made me a pair of clothes."

Rarity gave off a cute but slightly dorky laugh before turning to Dash, "See Dash? At least somepony knows a thing or two about elegance and fashion! I daresay Anon would fit right in with some of Canterlots Elite. Besides, not all of us are interested in running around and getting our manes dirty." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes while the others stifled giggles. "Now, right this way, my boutique is just around the corner."

True enough as they turned onto the next road in the distance Anon saw a large flamboyant building that screamed 'Carousel Boutique'. Shit… maybe Dash was right. "I'm tellin' ya Anon, this is going to be sooooo boring!" Dash whispered furthering as if echoing his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah; but you know what they say right? Save the best for the last." Anon whispered back while Dash beamed and lightly jabbed his shoulder. As they reached the door to Rarity's boutique Rarity took the lead and opened the door, motioning the others inside. Anon however had to crouch to get inside. Ugh, pony sized doors… But why were the City Halls large enough for me?

"Welcome to my humble abode where ponies come far and wide to take a glimpse at perfection!" Rarity hammed it up as she stood on her hind hooves while thrusting her hooves into the air for added effect. Anon instantly realized why Dash was so hesitant to enter as a quick glance around the room gave him a good idea of Rarity's specialty. There were pony shaped mannequins modeling very formal and frilly outfits. Oh boy, a tomboy's worst enemy: girly shit.

Anon took a nervous step back as he began to think that this had not been the best idea; although before he could voice his distain Rarity began shoving him toward a stand near the center of the room. "Now, shall we get started? I just need to take a few measurements-- it will only take a second." A nearby drawer glowed light blue as it opened, letting out a long measuring tape that was wrapped in a blue aura. As it floated toward Anon he instinctively raised his arms and assumed a T stance so she could properly measure him.

"Your proportions are so odd Anon… Not unlike a Diamond Dog-- yet completely different… Although I have yet to make clothing for something that stands on two legs-- save for my little Spikey." She frowned slightly as she began measuring, "But you wouldn't believe how hard it is to make clothes for a dragon, even a baby one. They have to be strong enough to resist getting torn and what not on their protective scales. Although it's not as if his scales are all that sharp but after rubbing against his scales for a while-- well you know." Rarity sighed before beginning again, "Well anyway, let's get you out of those clothes so we can properly measure you."

"Alri--Wait. What?

Unfortunately what happened next could only be explained as a miscommunication error… It wasn't anyone's fault really; if someone had to be blamed a religious man might throw blame to the rib woman and dirt man who partook in a piece of fruit from a forbidden tree. Anon struggled for a brief moment before his arms shot up against his will and his shirt climbed itself up past his chest and neck.

"No, Wait! Wait just a--" however unfortunately his shirt caught on his face making talking a bit impossible. Rarity at the same time unbuckled his pants with her magic and in one swift motion ripped Anon clean from his comfort zone. "Ah."


• • •

"Aw c'mon Anon, Rarity already apologized, how were we supposed ta know that humans didn't have sheaths? How about ya just open the door and come on out?" came Applejacks voice through the closed door. How can they be so calm about this? Either way, not gonna happen… Fucking Stallions and their dick hiding pouches, that shit just doesn't seem right. Anon continued his searching, hoping to find something that he could cut his stomach open with so he could die from blood loss instead of embarrassment. They may have been ponies but that fact alone wasn't enough to override the fact that he had been forcefully stripped by a girl while five other girls stood by and watched. Hope they enjoyed the impromptu lesson on human anatomy 'cause they're about to get another one when I find that knife!

"Never! Just let me die in peace!" Anon screamed through the door as he finished putting back on his clothes that had been ripped from him earlier. There's no coming back from this… Anon could still clearly see each and every one of their faces and reactions as their eyes trailed down from his face, to his chest, until finally resting upon his shrinking manhood.

Fluttershy was probably the only one out of the bunch who had been just as embarrassed as he had been, her entire coat had turned from a buttery yellow to beet red and had Anon been in the proper state of mind he'd have questioned the absurdity of such an act. Rarity had been the unluckiest out of the six as she had only been a mere meter from Anon before she ripped his pants off. She also turned an outstanding color of red but unlike Fluttershy, failed to avert her gaze either because of shock or she planned on memorizing his measurements since she knew there would never be another chance. Again had Anon been in a proper state of mind he'd have joked and told her to take a picture for it would have lasted longer.

Twilight Sparkle…This mare here… even though Anon could clearly tell she was embarrassed like the rest it didn't stop her from darting over his entire form as if it were going to be on a test later. Rainbow Dash-- she did the unforgiveable.. after a moment of shock, she blushed heavily before raising her hoof, pointing it in Anons direction and laughing. Anon could feel the erectile dysfunction syndrome creeping its way into his skull. Pinkie was a bit strange, she gasped; turned a few shades pinker and never lost the smile that seemed to always be on her face. Lastly Applejack let out a long and low whistle before covering her face with her hat.

Of all the places I could have locked myself into, why not a pantry full of knives instead of the bathroom? Anon eyed the toiled for a minute as he debated if it were possible to drown in a toilet lest he have to see their faces and listen to them stammer apologies. "Applejack's right Anon, just come out, we're really really sorry!" came Twilight's voice.

Damn magic! It's only a matter of time before one of them forces this door open and I don’t think I can drown myself that fast! Panicking Anon's eyes darted around the bathroom before he finally rested his gaze on a stained glass window. "Bingo." rushing to the window he fiddled around with the lock for a moment before it clicked open. Too bad I'm not on the second story, I could have swan dived onto the pavement. Cursing his luck once again Anon climbed out the window, hit the ground rolling and got up sprinting as fast as he could.

• • •

Anon wasn't all too sure where he was running to or what he planned on doing once he arrived, the only thing he was concentrating was putting one foot in front of the other. Perhaps whenever he reached his destination he would have a moment to stop and think. Rounding a few corners and vaulting ponies Anon slowed his pace to a light jog and swiveled his head to the rear. Anon breathed a sigh of relief as the building was no longer in sight and he doubt that he could navigate back even if he had wanted it, "Now, back to cutting open my--whoa!"

Tripping over something Anon tumbled face first into the street, landing in slightly less pain than he initially predicted. "Ow ow ow…!" came a voice from underneath Anon followed by, "Get off me please!" Untangling himself from the poor pony Anon stood up and reached his hand down, grabbing the ponies hoof and hoisting it up. "Sorry about that, was busy running away in shame and embarrassment."

"Whoa, what're you?" The mare questioned, confusion and slight curiosity in her golden eyes as she stepped back and withdrew her hoof. Huh… She doesn't know me? Guess the entire town wasn't at that party… though I guess that's to be expected.

"Sorry about that," Anon began before noting the confusion in her golden eyes. He had met quite a few ponies at Pinkies party but he was sure he hadn't met this one yet. Well it's not like the entire town could have made the party so I guess it's only natural to be confused.

"Wh..what are you?" The unicorn mare questioned whom Anon thought could pass for Rainbow Dash's sister-- though with a less tomboyish appearance. She quickly withdrew her hoof and took a step back.

Anon chuckled a bit, "Sorry about that, names' Anon." this was the reaction he had been expecting from a town full of aliens, although it was lacking in fear. "I'm the weird guy that Pinkie Pie threw a party for at town hall like two hours back."

"Oh.." The mare visibly relaxed and took a step toward Anon, "So you're Anon? Sorry I couldn't make your welcoming party but I had something very important to do. My names Lyra Heartstrings." Lyra declared as she raised her hoof out toward Anon.

Anon frowned slightly at the gesture, This… is a handshake… right? Why? You've got no fingers, what're you gonna grasp my hand with? Anon shrugged before he reached out to shake her hoof but at the last second she withdrew it and instead simply bowed as Anon raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, sorry. I'd shake your talons but I've never had luck in doing so. I've always been accidentally scratched by them; and I can't play the Lyre with injured hooves now can I? Well I've got to go, I'm already late.

Huh… Anon looked down at his fingers wiggling them. I guess you couldn't really call those things Spike has hands… He is a dragon. But don't they have something with fingers here? There were a few points Anon wanted to address with the foremost being how something with hooves intended to play a lyre but instead he settled on his hands, "These things aren't talons they're fin--" Anon dropped the rest of his sentence, realizing that Lyra had run off in the opposite direction. Yeah.. I'll just clear that up later.

"Anon!!" came a yell that rose the hairs on his neck, turning to face his threat Anon saw a Rainbow bullet on a collision course with him. Unable to dodge Anon simply braced himself as Dash slammed into him, sending both of them to the ground rolling. "Ow… I thought you were faster than that…" Dash muttered while rubbing her head, she had managed to land on top of him, "But no one is faster than me!" Dash shouted triumphantly as she laughed.



Going red with embarrassment Anon tried to shout out a few protests but was silenced when Dash put a hoof in his mouth. Hey! That things dirty! You walk on that! "Sorry we stripped you down… and stared.. We didn't know that you didn't have a coat of fur… or that it was all so… open." Dash averted her gaze and blushed before continuing, "And it was really uncool of me to laugh-- Not that I was laughing because it was funny or anything! I… I just get really nervous and I don't deal with embarrassing things too well so I try to laugh it off."

Well… That… Actually makes me feel slightly better.. Anon thought, perking up a bit and nodding to Dash who sighed in relief.Glad to know the laughter was due to an awkward embarrassment instead of being outclassed by a stallion. As Anon finally began to calm down his thoughts finally gained a sense of rationality. Hell, even if I don't measure up, what does it matter? They're horses! I mean they're naked all the time-- she's naked on top of me at the moment-- and I feel nothing! In the distance Anon could see five others galloping toward him.

Deciding that continuing the round of 'I'm sorry' and 'I forgive you' would be a little embarrassing underneath Dash Anon moved to get up and to his complete surprise found that Dash was unnaturally light. Anon was easily able to pick her up and stand up at the same time. No wonder pegasai can fly with those tiny ass wings, they're a lot lighter than they look, probably more so than other ponies..

Pinkie Pie confirmed Anon's thoughts as she jumped into the air and latched herself onto his face with all four hooves causing him to look his balance and tumble with the two of them in tow. Yup, definitely lighter than earth ponies-- that or this girl has been packing on the cup cakes.

Don't worry Dashy! I've got a hold of him!" Pinkie playfully squealed as she gripped onto Dash with he eyes clenched shut. With that the rest of his embarrassment floated away along with his laughter as the four other mares looked on with puzzled expressions. Yeah, I know I'm really bad with dealing with embarrassment but they're still a bunch of ponies.

"Sorry about that… Its.. a human thing.. Let's just say that on Earth it would be extremely embarrassing to be stripped by six cute girls." the group blushed, "But hey, it's not like you girls are humans.

Author's Note:

So I originally this chapter was just going to be Anon getting measured by Rarity with no problems then proceeding to AJ's farm but then I thought, "Lol wouldn't it be funny if he got stripped?" Though I didn't want to drag it out long and it be some, "Oh look, Anon ran away and ended up in the Everfree" type deal.

Reformatted and slightly edited

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