Fixed the typo! And yeah, the formatting wasn't preserved properly when I imported it from GDocs. Huge surprise. I'm working on fixing it; the originals were all double-spaced properly. u.u
How does this not have more views? It was beautifully written. The characters were believable and the mannerisms were so spot on. Well played sir, well played indeed.
wow... This is an amazing story. The characters - all of them - are really well written, and it's extremely cute (I also might have a weak spot for wings but whatever). I don't know how others think about this, but to me, the actual cloppy part was only secondary to - or a logical result of - the first part of the story. It was also very well done.
My only point would be that I noticed a small spelling error here and there, and punctuation when transitioning from spoken text to description wasn't always correct. But not often enough to distract from the story. Fixed!
That was the most detailed, unique, and pleasant to read way to preen I've ever... well, read.
Anyways, that was fantastic. The background characters were just that, background characters. Nothing distracted me from what was going on. The only aspect that seemed weird to me was Fluttershy's knowledge of how to use Rainbow's dock. Even then the scene was nothing short of beautiful to me.
I did end up catching a few possible errors, so expect a PM soon.
Oh, this is nice. Would love more story to it, but nice all the same. Good cloppy bit, nice pace, good mooshy bit, fitting characters. You've done well.
Not only is that cover image ridiculously adorable, but this is one of the better written fics on this site. Just the right combination of daww and clop to make it enjoyable, and I couldn't see any spelling or grammar issues. Thumbs up and favorite from me
Absolutely phenomenal piece. I love that the story focuses more on the feelings than the actual acts themselves. Also, well done showing that side of Dash that is rarely seen. I tip my hat to ya.
This managed to sum up most of the reasons I like Flutterdash as a ship. Also, I liked how you did "clop with emotions," which is best clop. Bravo, sir/madam/fido!
This is not what I was expecting. unlike most writers you focused more on the emotions as opposed to the all out sex you get in normal clopfics. Im surprised that I actually enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading your other works. <3 flutterbug <3
I've never really been a fan of Flutterdash, being an Appledash fan myself, but this story was absolutely fantastic. The mannerisms and thought processes fit so well that I had no problem picturing the story in my head. I can't recall how many times I found myself laughing, both at situational humor as well as whatever you call that giggling feeling you get when reading stories like this (or at least I find myself laughing at some romantic situations in stories due to empathizing with the character's nervousness). I also loved how you had Fluttershy working on being more assertive. All this, combined with the great emotional scenes, make this one of my all time favorite fan fictions I have read so far.
I actually just now made an account because I wanted to comment on this story and favorite it, so if that doesn't let you know how much I liked the story I don't know what will. And on side note, this absolutely needs more views! (Fluttershy demands it)
Also, I couldn't help but wonder, how much research did you put into preening and wing anatomy? I knew the basic gist to follow what Fluttershy was doing, but I would be lying if I said that I understood the details enough to understand half of the details you put in regarding it.
My goodness! So many comments to reply to. Apologies in advance for the wall of text, folks. In return, thank you for the wall of text. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I mean it when I say I appreciate all the feedback.
2328004 That was something I wanted to explore, too! I thought Fluttershy deserved it. The show's gone to great lengths to show her growing as a character, and I wanted to follow where they're pointing. Fluttershy has remarkable strength, when she's confronted with something she wants badly enough. I'm glad the wing-fetish bit appealed; as someone who has a number of niche buttons, it was a fun thing to write about, and I'm glad it satisfied.
2331540 The dock thing was something that occurred to me at the last minute. I will leave how she knew about it as an exercise to the reader.
236896423914212411859 When I'm with other people, I find myself valuing more the intimacy of being with them and how that makes me feel, rather than the carnal aspects of it so much. I like to try and put that into my writing, because I find personally find it very fulfilling and I think all sapient creatures have that need in one form or another. It's just rarely addressed.
2415997 Ah, more research than I'd care to admit, but less than you might imagine. I knew what I wanted to do (inspired by an experience I had), but finding the vocabulary was important because I knew that the people who clop to really enjoy this stuff would appreciate the details most, and I didn't want to jar them with something that they'd go "Hey, that's a pinion, not a primary!"
That's...that's happened to me enough times.
I'm very glad that you enjoyed the read, though, and I'm very flattered you'd go to the trouble of making an account for the sake of this story. I appreciate it a great deal.
*very late to the party* This was very well done, I must say. Noticed very few, if any, errors throughout all the chapters. I imagine that's because I'm so late to reading this and others pointed out whatever mistakes there might have been. The clop scene was... Well, it was probably the most unique I've read. I'd never heard of dock sex prior to reading this and it was a little odd, for a few seconds. Overall, I loved it and this story more than did my favourite ship justice. As a rating, I give it a very solid 9.6/10. five-ever.
That was one of the most unique clop scenes I've ever read, and one of the better ones as well. Impressive because it seems like nearly every clop fic follows the same pattern, again and again. To find something that I actually haven't seen before is rare. You deserve some praise for making the clop scene the climax of your story instead centerpiece of the entire fic. Here it's the culmination of their relationship and their feelings for one and another and it feels like a natural progression of the events leading up to it, rather than basis of the story. You wrote the clop very, very well. You wrote their emotions instead of just the physical, just like good clop should.
I didn't enjoy the rest of the story nearly as much though. This is a very tiresome and overused portrayal of Rainbow Dash. I've seen much worse, and I can't really fault you when it's so prevalent. But I resent this idea that she's nothing but a thin layer of false bravado wrapped around a lifetime of emotional insecurity. Of course Rainbow Dash has insecurities, and of course she has a softer side. But she is also cocky, confident, outspoken, outgoing, and sure of her abilities, she acts rashly in social situations and generally lacks tact. The former failed relationship with Gilda is an adequate explanation of her uncertainty here, but it doesn't feel like you've written her full character, and the story suffers for it.
Fluttershy is much better. She's appropriately demure most of the time and then insistent when she needs to be. But I'm fairly certain she apologized every single time she spoke in the first half of the fic, and it became very annoying.
As for the story itself, it all seemed too quick and easy. The pacing wasn't a problem, but the tone was almost sickeningly sweet and happy. I expect that was your intention, you wanted to write something cuddly and cute. There's certainly a place for that kind of romance. Everyone enjoys fluff, and there's nothing wrong with it in and of itself, but it does have a tendency to be lacking in substance. I guess I just prefer a little more drama and tension in my romance. Even with all that said, this is good. Especially so for a first fic. I expect you'll be writing some great things in the future.
2254822
Fixed the typo! And yeah, the formatting wasn't preserved properly when I imported it from GDocs. Huge surprise. I'm working on fixing it; the originals were all double-spaced properly. u.u
There. Formatting is fixed!
How does this not have more views? It was beautifully written. The characters were believable and the mannerisms were so spot on. Well played sir, well played indeed.
i usually don't like flutterdash but this was amazing i sorry but thats the closest thing that i can think of
regardless you sir deserve a moustache
Cute, short, and to the point. Not my favourite ship, but still, very nice. Bravo!
2262178>>2260670
Believe it or not, I'm a huge AppleDash fan. But this got in my head and wouldn't let go until I wrote it.
2258058
Thank you, very much! That is awesome to hear.
That was literally one of the best clopfics I've ever read.
OMG so adorable ! This story is amazing.
This was well done, better than most in my opinion.
excellent work
666 views:
i.imgur.com/YpOt8c5.png
>Commence read
wow... This is an amazing story. The characters - all of them - are really well written, and it's extremely cute (I also might have a weak spot for wings but whatever).
I don't know how others think about this, but to me, the actual cloppy part was only secondary to - or a logical result of - the first part of the story. It was also very well done.
My only point would be that I noticed a small spelling error here and there, and punctuation when transitioning from spoken text to description wasn't always correct. But not often enough to distract from the story. Fixed!
Bravo, bravo. Very well written, and I seriously want to see a sequel.
Fantastic story, I really enjoyed it!
A few things I noticed:
Chapter 2:
Do I remind you of Gilda just because she was just the last person to give you a massage? (could change to "the last one")
Chapter 4:
She turned her head and reached up with a hand, pressing her lips to Rainbow's hoof (hoof)
Chapter 5:
and the mention of her favourite tortoise, the pet that Fluttershy had helped him find, made her feel even better. (her)
2314443
Always the details that slip through the cracks! I need to work on my proofreading. All fixed, thanks. :3
Very nice.
This was lovely.
After Hurricane Fluttershy, I very much wanted to explore how Dash's existence prodded Shy to be braver. YOu did a great job on that.
Wingplay is my fetish. Contrary to normal thinking, that just makes me a super picky asshole about it. I loved yours.
Also, docksex was fun. Not sure about have that much hair folded over up ins, but it was unique, so points.
That was the most detailed, unique, and pleasant to read way to preen I've ever... well, read.
Anyways, that was fantastic. The background characters were just that, background characters. Nothing distracted me from what was going on. The only aspect that seemed weird to me was Fluttershy's knowledge of how to use Rainbow's dock. Even then the scene was nothing short of beautiful to me.
I did end up catching a few possible errors, so expect a PM soon.
Hm, this was a deliciously light and sweet read. Thank you.
Do you plan on writing more in this direction?
Oh, this is nice. Would love more story to it, but nice all the same.
Good cloppy bit, nice pace, good mooshy bit, fitting characters.
You've done well.
Not only is that cover image ridiculously adorable, but this is one of the better written fics on this site. Just the right combination of daww and clop to make it enjoyable, and I couldn't see any spelling or grammar issues. Thumbs up and favorite from me
Absolutely phenomenal piece. I love that the story focuses more on the feelings than the actual acts themselves. Also, well done showing that side of Dash that is rarely seen. I tip my hat to ya.
this time indeed!
This managed to sum up most of the reasons I like Flutterdash as a ship. Also, I liked how you did "clop with emotions," which is best clop. Bravo, sir/madam/fido!
This is not what I was expecting. unlike most writers you focused more on the emotions as opposed to the all out sex you get in normal clopfics. Im surprised that I actually enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading your other works. <3 flutterbug <3
I've never really been a fan of Flutterdash, being an Appledash fan myself, but this story was absolutely fantastic. The mannerisms and thought processes fit so well that I had no problem picturing the story in my head. I can't recall how many times I found myself laughing, both at situational humor as well as whatever you call that giggling feeling you get when reading stories like this (or at least I find myself laughing at some romantic situations in stories due to empathizing with the character's nervousness). I also loved how you had Fluttershy working on being more assertive. All this, combined with the great emotional scenes, make this one of my all time favorite fan fictions I have read so far.
I actually just now made an account because I wanted to comment on this story and favorite it, so if that doesn't let you know how much I liked the story I don't know what will. And on side note, this absolutely needs more views! (Fluttershy demands it)
Also, I couldn't help but wonder, how much research did you put into preening and wing anatomy? I knew the basic gist to follow what Fluttershy was doing, but I would be lying if I said that I understood the details enough to understand half of the details you put in regarding it.
My goodness! So many comments to reply to. Apologies in advance for the wall of text, folks. In return, thank you for the wall of text. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I mean it when I say I appreciate all the feedback.
2328004 That was something I wanted to explore, too! I thought Fluttershy deserved it. The show's gone to great lengths to show her growing as a character, and I wanted to follow where they're pointing. Fluttershy has remarkable strength, when she's confronted with something she wants badly enough. I'm glad the wing-fetish bit appealed; as someone who has a number of niche buttons, it was a fun thing to write about, and I'm glad it satisfied.
2331540 The dock thing was something that occurred to me at the last minute. I will leave how she knew about it as an exercise to the reader.
2336093 No comment.
2368964 2391421 2411859 When I'm with other people, I find myself valuing more the intimacy of being with them and how that makes me feel, rather than the carnal aspects of it so much. I like to try and put that into my writing, because I find personally find it very fulfilling and I think all sapient creatures have that need in one form or another. It's just rarely addressed.
2415997 Ah, more research than I'd care to admit, but less than you might imagine. I knew what I wanted to do (inspired by an experience I had), but finding the vocabulary was important because I knew that the people who
clop toreally enjoy this stuff would appreciate the details most, and I didn't want to jar them with something that they'd go "Hey, that's a pinion, not a primary!"That's...that's happened to me enough times.
I'm very glad that you enjoyed the read, though, and I'm very flattered you'd go to the trouble of making an account for the sake of this story. I appreciate it a great deal.
2417199 Damn, that's either good or bad. Well, I can hope. It really was a nice little story. Perfect to get away from those gigantic epics.
2417199 Intimacy is best intimacy.
Wow...
I'm in shock. This didn't have what most would consider a proper sex scene, and it's still better than most.
Though, I'll admit, I'm a sucker for good romance.
Bravo. Very excellent job.
*very late to the party* This was very well done, I must say. Noticed very few, if any, errors throughout all the chapters. I imagine that's because I'm so late to reading this and others pointed out whatever mistakes there might have been. The clop scene was... Well, it was probably the most unique I've read. I'd never heard of dock sex prior to reading this and it was a little odd, for a few seconds. Overall, I loved it and this story more than did my favourite ship justice.
As a rating, I give it a very solid 9.6/10.
five-ever.
That was one of the most unique clop scenes I've ever read, and one of the better ones as well. Impressive because it seems like nearly every clop fic follows the same pattern, again and again. To find something that I actually haven't seen before is rare. You deserve some praise for making the clop scene the climax of your story instead centerpiece of the entire fic. Here it's the culmination of their relationship and their feelings for one and another and it feels like a natural progression of the events leading up to it, rather than basis of the story. You wrote the clop very, very well. You wrote their emotions instead of just the physical, just like good clop should.
I didn't enjoy the rest of the story nearly as much though. This is a very tiresome and overused portrayal of Rainbow Dash. I've seen much worse, and I can't really fault you when it's so prevalent. But I resent this idea that she's nothing but a thin layer of false bravado wrapped around a lifetime of emotional insecurity. Of course Rainbow Dash has insecurities, and of course she has a softer side. But she is also cocky, confident, outspoken, outgoing, and sure of her abilities, she acts rashly in social situations and generally lacks tact. The former failed relationship with Gilda is an adequate explanation of her uncertainty here, but it doesn't feel like you've written her full character, and the story suffers for it.
Fluttershy is much better. She's appropriately demure most of the time and then insistent when she needs to be. But I'm fairly certain she apologized every single time she spoke in the first half of the fic, and it became very annoying.
As for the story itself, it all seemed too quick and easy. The pacing wasn't a problem, but the tone was almost sickeningly sweet and happy. I expect that was your intention, you wanted to write something cuddly and cute. There's certainly a place for that kind of romance. Everyone enjoys fluff, and there's nothing wrong with it in and of itself, but it does have a tendency to be lacking in substance. I guess I just prefer a little more drama and tension in my romance. Even with all that said, this is good. Especially so for a first fic. I expect you'll be writing some great things in the future.