• Published 1st Mar 2013
  • 3,657 Views, 86 Comments

A Lifeboat Made for Two - Brainhorn



Anon and Rarity hate each other, but when they get stranded on a desert island, can they work together to stay alive?

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Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The sun shining on your face pulls you from your sleep. You try to move, but it feels like your muscles are on fire. Between the all the rowing, carrying Rarity, starting the fire, sleeping on sand, and your terrible sunburn, your life is pain. With a groan, you force yourself to sit up and look around. Rarity isn't beside you anymore, and the fire is burning high. She must have been tending to it.

Speaking of which, you hear a humming, and you look around. You spot Rarity levitating a coconut over her head and pouring the water on her mane. Beside her on the ground must be 10 more empty coconuts. What the fuck. She looks over and sees you're awake.

"Ah, good morning Anonymous."

You try to reply, but it just comes out as a raspy croak. Rarity giggles.

"I had the same problem when I woke up. Here, drink this."

She magics an opened coconut over to you. You snatch it out of the air, chug it all down, and chuck the shell at her head. It goes wide and misses her, but it gets her attention.

"My word, what do you think you're doing!?"

You clamber to your feet, throwing the makeshift blanket off of you.

"Me!? What are YOU doing?"

Rarity scoffs.

"Pardon me for trying to make the best of a bad situation."

"This is all we have to drink! There's undrinkable water ALL around us you could use!"

She looks appalled.

"Wash my mane in SALT water? That might do for a uncouth barbarian like yourself, but I-"

"NO. You DENSE cunt. This is ALL we have to drink. And you are NOT going to waste it on fucking GROOMING."

She looks like she wants to keep arguing. Instead, she lets out a "hmmf", dropping the coconut and walking away. You probably could have handled that better, but you were starving and irritable. Just as you think this, your stomach growls loudly. Your mind goes back to that chicken you saw last night. Maybe you could catch one. You have no idea how to cook a chicken that hasn't already been processed, but it couldn't be SO hard. Walking deeper into the trees, you begin your search. You realize you don't know how you're going to catch one, but you'll cross that bridge when you get to it.

Before long, you can hear a clucking sound. Scanning the ground, you eventually see a few chickens in the distance, pecking away at the ground. Alright, that's that. Now to catch one. You come up with a bunch of ridiculous ideas that would never work, such as a spear, or a deadfall. In the end, you decide to just go with a pitfall.

It's been about two hours and you've finally finished digging the trap. If you had a shovel, this would have taken a few minutes. You try and shake the feeling of dread you get, realizing exactly how much trouble you're in out here. For now, you just need something to eat. You cover the hole with the thinnest sticks you can find, and cover those with fallen leaves. That looks good enough. Now you just need to try and trick a chicken into falling in.

This proves much easier said than done. You don't know how long you've been chasing these fucking chickens, trying to lead them toward the trap. Your entire body is drenched in sweat and you're exhausted, on top of being hungry, and it's starting to wear on your last nerve. Deciding to give it one last try, you flank the chickens, putting them between you and the trap, before charging. Waving your arms, you run at the chickens, trying to scare them into the hole. A few of the chickens just run to the side, but one seems to be running right for the trap. FINALLY. You hold back, not wanting to scare it too much. The chicken keeps walking right at it. It steps onto the sticks over the hole, and... Nothing. It just stands there. MotherFUCKER.

The chicken seems to know something is wrong. It takes a few careful steps, before the sticks finally give out. It falls into the hole with a loud squawk. Grinning ear to ear, you rush over, and peer in. The chicken is jumping around, feathers flying, trying to escape, but it's no use. It's all yours. All you need to do now is get it out.

You've never even seen a live chicken in person, let alone tried to pick one up. Reaching slowly into the hole, you barely touch the chicken before it pecks the everloving shit out of your hand. Well, that was unpleasant. You stand back and think a minute. You vaguely remember seeing something about farmers carrying chickens by their legs. Looking down at it's feet, you're not too excited about going near them. But, you gotta do what you gotta do. Thrusting your hands back into the hole, you withstand a barrage of pecking and scratching until you finally have it's legs in your hand. It's surprisingly heavy as you pull it out of the hole, and you almost drop it as it struggles, but you finally have it. Today seems to be looking up.

Walking back into your makeshift campsite, you see Rarity has been busy. A sizable tent has been erected. It looks like a bunch of sticks tied together with woven leaves, but it'd looks much better than sleeping in the open. It also seems to be adorned in gemstones. Hearing you approach, Rarity trots out of the tent. Her leaf sunhat has a bunch of gems on it, same as the tent.

"Ahh, you're back!"

"Yeah. You've certainly been busy."

"I had some free time," she says with a dry laugh. "I found this little island is absolutely rich in marvelous gems! Speaking of which..."

She levitates the boonie hat she made for you up to your face. It's also covered in gems. You stifle an exasperated sigh as she plops it on your head. The gems on the sides weigh heavily on the brim, pulling it down over your eyes. With your free hand, you pull the hat off and toss it aside. At first it looks as if Rarity is going to protest, but it seems she's finally noticed the chicken.

"Anonymous... what is that?"

"This is a chicken," you say, holding it up.

"Well yes, darling, but whatever for?"

"I'm going to eat it."

Her eyes go wide with shock and disgust.

"You're going to EAT it? Why?"

You sigh.

"Because I haven't eaten in DAYS, Rarity, and I'm starving.

Looking around for a bit, you find a suitably sharp looking rock.

"What are you going to do with that?" Rarity asks nervously.

"I'm going to cut it's head off."

Rarity stifles a gasp as you kneel to the ground and pin the chicken down. You raise the rock over your head, giving it a few test swings. Not wanting the chicken to suffer too much, you want to be as accurate as possible. Ok, time to do this. You raise the rock again. And everything goes black. Something was dropped over you. Startled, you drop the chicken and the rock, and tear the object off your head. It was your blanket. Rarity had dropped your leaf blanket on top you. You see her chasing the chicken back into the trees.

"Shoo, shoo! Off you go."

You can only stand there, stunned at what just happened. Rarity trots back to the camp.

"I'm sorry, Anonymous, but that was for the best." she says matter-of-factly. "I know we're in a tough spot right now, but that's no reason to start slaughtering innocent creatures."

The shock begins to wear off, replaced instead with a burning rage. Dropping the blanket, you slowly walk over to the trunk of a tree, where several coconuts lay on the ground. Rarity smiles.

Yes, see? There's plenty to eat here without bloodshed," she says, her voice dripping with smug self satisfaction.

Picking a coconut off the ground, you whip it at her as hard as you can. This time, you don't miss. The coconut hits her square in the nose. Blood starts pouring from her snout immediately. It's her turn to be in shock. Eyes as wide as saucers, she touches a hoof to her nose, dabbing at the blood. She looks at the blood, then to you.

"H-how dare you. How DARE yo-"

You cut her off with another well placed coconut to the side of her head. Before she can scream, you plant another into her ribs. She stares at you for a moment, tears in her eyes.

"How could you?" she asks, her voice quivering.

"How could I?" you ask stomping over to her. She flinches away. "I agree, how could I? How could I get stranded on a fucking desert island, with YOU of all ponies!? I'm going to die out here, and it's because of YOU!"

Your accusation seems to bring her will to fight back.

"What? How is this MY fault?"

"Oh, I don't know, lets think about this! Rainbow Dash could fly somewhere for help! Twilight could teleport us home! Fluttershy could catch fish or something! Applejack would know how to grow food! And Pinkie would at least be pleasant company!"

She stares up at you with a hurt expression that has nothing to do with her bleeding nose.

"But what can YOU do? Oh, that's right. YOU CAN STICK GEMS ON THINGS!"

You grab the leaf hat off her head and tear it in two. You throw the pieces to the ground. Kneeling down, your face is mere inches from hers.

"You. Are. Useless."

She opens her mouth as if to say something, but no words come. Instead, she turns away and runs, crying.

It's been a few hours since Rarity ran off. You know you overreacted, but she had no right. Finishing off the last of the water in the coconut you were holding, you stare at it for a bit. With a sigh, you tear it in half. Taking your finger, you scoop some of the insides out and plop it in your mouth. You almost gag. It has a gel-like consistency, and tastes like a nickel with a hint of almond. Starving, you eat all you can. It's better than nothing, you suppose.

Looking toward the sky, you see the sun is starting to get pretty low. With a deep groan, you get to your feet. Better look for Rarity. You have no idea what you could possibly say to her, but you need to make sure she's safe. Besides, she couldn't have gone too far; the island isn't THAT big.

You set off into the trees, in the same direction she ran. Following her hoof prints is easy enough in the sand. From the way they're spaced, you can tell she ran for quite a while. Eventually, the sand turns to dirt, and the tracks vanish. That could be a problem. Walking through a bit of waist high grass, you see a big hole in the ground, probably some kind of cave. You start to walk around it, but you begin to think. If the grass was waist high to you, it'd be over Rarity's head. She never would have seen the hole. Fuck.

Wading through the grass, you peer over the edge. The hole isn't very deep, but there are some jagged looking rocks in it. And you really hope you're wrong, but that looks like blood on some of them. You make your way around to the shallowest part you can find and drop in. Making your way to the rocks, you confirm your fears. This is definitely blood.

There's a small trail leading to an overhanging rock. As you follow it up the gentle slope, you begin to hear something. It sounds like... crying? Stooping low to walk into the small cave, you can definitely hear crying.

"Rarity?" you call gently.

The sound immediately stops.

"I know you're in here, Rarity. I heard you."

Go away." she replies, in a low voice.

"Come on, Rarity. I saw the blood. I know you're hurt. Let's get back to the camp."

"Why?" she calls out. "So I can continue to be useless? I thought you would have wanted me gone!"

"Rarity, stop it. We're going back to camp."

You turn to look behind a rock and finally find her. There's a deep, jagged cut going up the side of her left flank. She looks pitiable, leg caked in dry blood, bruised face, and scabbed nose. You feel sick to your stomach knowing this is all your fault. She doesn't say a word or try to resist as you carefully scoop her up. You cradle her in your arms like you did when you pulled her off the beach. Thankfully, you're better hydrated this time, and she doesn't feel nearly as heavy.

As you walk back to camp, she stares ahead. She hasn't said a word to you. The silence coupled with the guilt gets to you.

"I'm sorry." you say.

You know it's not enough, but there's nothing else you can really say. Rarity doesn't acknowledge you. You can't blame her. Emerging from the trees and back into the camp, you duck into the tent, and gingerly place her onto the woven leaf sleeping mat inside. It feels as if she stuffed it with grass or something, so the two of you didn't have to sleep on the sand. Sitting beside her, you notice exactly how much room was in this tent. It wasn't gigantic, but there was more than enough room for the two of you inside it. She had built it with the intent of sharing it with you. She's made you you a hat, a blanket, a place to sleep, and shelter. All you've done is complain and hurt her and call her useless. The tears are falling from your face before you even realize you're crying.

"I'm sorry!" you manage to sob.

Rarity still doesn't answer, but her expression softens slightly.

After a few minutes crying bitter tears, you regain you composure. You have a lot on your plate, now. Still stranded, still hungry, and now you have Rarity to take care of. You sigh.

"I'm getting a coconut, want one?"

She nods slightly. You crawl out of the tent, and return shortly, two coconuts in hand. Handing one to Rarity, she quickly cracks it open with her magic and downs the contents. She's done by the time you get yours open. Poking a hole in the flesh, you prepare to drink when the coconut is wrenched from your hand. Rarity levitates your coconut over to her, and drinks it, too. Ok, then. Suppressing a sigh, you crawl out of the tent for another one. It's starting to get dark. It's amazing how fast night can sneak up on you when there's nothing blocking the horizon. You feed some sticks into the fire, and crawl back into the tent. Rarity is on her side, facing away from you. You clear your throat.

"As soon as it's bright again, I'll take a look at your leg.'

No reply.

"I don't know if there's much I can do, but I should at least be able to clean it off.'

Rarity remains silent.

With a sigh, you pull your leaf blanket over you, facing away from Rarity.

"Good night then."

There's almost a full minute of silence before you hear

"Good night, Anonymous."

END CHAPTER 4

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