Divine retribution.
Punishment imposed by a vengeful god for taking the lives of other living things. That was all Twilight could assume justified what she felt at that moment.
It was designed to break her. To drive her insane. It had to be.
Why else would they force her to carry the wonderful meal all the way back to the den. Yes, there were good arguments against eating it where it fell, but still!
Crossing the threshold of the den, she dropped the carcass in the middle of the floor.
"Ok, you are clear. You may-" Bark Back didn't need to finish, because before he had, Twilight had already begun digging in.
The sight was a little terrifying, even to the other Timberwolves
"Wow, she must have been hungry." one of the hunters noted.
"There won't be any left for the rest of us at this rate!" another shouted.
Twilight didn't seem to notice.
"It is her hunt, her kill, and now officially her pack, so you best watch your tongue when addressing the mistress." Bark Back growled at the disrespectful young hunters. He approached her where she feasted, "That said, Mistress you might want to slow-" Bark Back reached a paw towards the ravenous she-wolf.
He recoiled as she turned to him, growling as whips of smoke rose from her mane.
He backed off, leaving the wolf to her food.
At noon Catcher had burst through the door to her cottage and told her the situation.
"Oh my..."
"Yeah, so we need to find her quickly! I'm not sure how well she can function alone, and you know how dangerous the Everfree is!
"Uh... If you don't mind me asking, then why'd you break her out? If she was in the care of -"
"Did you see her when you all turned her back in? She was terrified! I admit she's not the... most normal of mares but I'm not going to make her go somewhere she hates so much!"
"I wasn't part-"
"I know she's not the most well-adapted of ponies, but she can function just fine in a group! When she was with Twilight and I she was just fine!"
"Just so you know-"
"But then you had to go and take her away! She was so happy when she was with us, but then you had to turn her back in to that place! Did you see how afraid of it she was? she-"
Fluttershy put a hoof to the young stallion's mouth as she realized what was going on. "Of course I'll help you look. With any luck, we may find Twilight too."
"Rarity, it's been a week. We have to."
"Whatever are you talking about dear?" Rarity asked as she took another sip of tea. She had brought out a fine blend for her private meeting with Applejack. She knew it would be needed if the topic she expected arose.
Applejack looked directly into the eyes of her ivory friend.
"We need to tell the princess about Twilight."
Applejack had expected a reaction, but the spit-take she received was beyond what she had imagined.
"Applejack, dear, we've been over this, we simply can't." Rarity tutted as she tried to regain her composure.
"Now pardon my language, but BUCK Fluttershy's promise! We have to tell the Princess! We haven't seen hide nor hair of Twilight in a week now! We should've told Celestia as soon as she ran off! Now I’ll admit I was complacent when Fluttershy convinced us not to, but now I'm feeling like that was a terrible decision. We need to tell the princess. Now."
"Applejack dear, be reasonable, we can't really-"
Any counter-argument that Rarity was about to make was immediately cut down as the locked door to her boutique resounded with frantic pounding.
"Yes, yes, my goodness, I'm coming!" The pounding continued until she opened the door, at which point she was tackled by a yellow and pink blur.
"Fluttershy! What's wrong dear?" Rarity asked as the Pegasus cried nestled into her side.
"So you and that Catcher bloke went to look for the crazy mare? That sounds like no reason to be crying!" Applejack looked puzzled to the distraught Pegasus.
"Let the dear finish!" Rarity tutted as she hugged the still crying pegasus, "Go on."
"...but then we got separated and I lost the trail... But since we were in the Whitetail I went to look for some of my deer friends... But instead I saw-" Before she finished, the fragile Pegasus once again broke down into sobbing.
Applejack jumped up ready to take action "What! What did you see? Was it Twilight?"
Fluttershy nodded as she cuddled closer to Rarity.
"Why is that bad? Was she in trouble?"
A shake.
"Was she hurt?"
Another shake.
"Was she..."
Applejack's grim look spread to Rarity.
Fluttershy shook her head again. Rarity relaxed ever so slightly, but Applejack had almost lost her patients with the fearful pegasus.
"Then what was the problem? What happened to Twilight?"
Fluttershy raised her head, quelling her sobs as best as she could to speak.
"I saw a deer -sniff- that was all alone, -sniff- so I called out to him, but he just ran away... He was acting so strange, so I followed him... But I lost him..." Fluttershy's barely maintained composure broke as tears began to flow again. She kept speaking. "When I saw him next..." Rarity could feel Fluttershy's shaking worsen.
"...he was being carried off by Twilight..."
Should have told Celestia when you realized the spell wasn't going to wear off on it's own.
2738425
Well yeah but if that happened, there probably be a story .
2738425 Should have told Celestia the moment they found out that twilight couldn't communicate with most other ponies. Or at least written up a draft for an emergency "We bucked this up royally, Help!" letter.
Actually shouldn't Celestia be wondering why last weeks friendship report is late?
I love stories that have strong emotions, but very few can get me feeling this many emotions so strongly at the same time. These stories are generally among my favorites to read, including The greats like Harry Potter, Past Sins, Star Wolves,... and now this. I can't wait to read more.
not that i dont like this story anymore, i REALLY do! but uuhhh..... what happened to the comedy/random? i do believe that you may want to update your tags a bit. comedy/random/slice of life, DOES NOT fit where these new chapters are going at all.
2738594 I didn't even think of that, but that's brilliant. Maybe Celestia thought it was just taking a little longer, but she still would have at least sent a letter or something asking about the friendship reports. Unless maybe Fluttershy had Applejak or someone send another "I DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING!" message.
2738632
This. A slice of life comedy this is no longer. The tone of the story is going all over the place.
Also, nothing really happened this chapter. We already knew Twilight was gonna eat a deer. We already knew Fluttershy saw it. Nothing progressed in this very short 1k word chapter. Might as well make it a two sentence update and name it "Applejack Thinks Celestia Should Be Told the Truth."
Oh for Faust's sake, write to the Princess already!
"Applejack had almost lost her patients"
It's "patience" not "patients" in this case.
Chapter was too short, we hardly got anything at all. Barely enough to get us back into the story before we're booted out again. At the very least, give us more of an insight into Twilight's mind as she descends into more animalistic behavior. Describe how she thinks and feels when the warm blood is sifting through her teeth, even as she tears a chunk out of the deer in ravenous hunger, or how she feels a perverse satisfaction, an instinctual glee at consuming the flesh of something that once had been moving, but now was merely her lunch, and that she made it that way; an expression of her new found power and control that exceeds that of any herbivore.
Yanno, something more than this bare-bones "so something else happened" chapter that really could have been meshed into the last one and made one decent-sized update instead of this half-done version.
2739159 Twi's not one to go wanting power/control over others. You could go with those details but it would seem a tad ooc. However, to compound off of your comment, I could see it as a way for her to feel like she is in control again considering so much has happened out of her control.
I do, of course, agree with what you are saying.
2739181
That's the thing, though: when you put a change this significant on a character, you're allowed to push them a bit beyond their normal behavior. It's part of the appeal of doing something so drastic to a well-known character, so that you can explore how they change and adapt. It basically makes them dynamic, and as even the most basic students of storytelling can say, a dynamic character is much more interesting than a flat, unchanging one.
Besides, Twilight is a control freak, why else would she go so nuts when things don't go her way? It's not OCD, since that would be her predilection towards everything being organized. Her extensive, mind-boggling planning, however, indicates a desire for control over her life and first being turned into something so alien, being chased and hated by ponies (including a friend) over it, and now exiled to the Everfree... well, she's going to revel in anything that will give her a measure of control back.
Anyway, not arguing here, just explaining my comment a bit more.
2739209 I see your point with Twilight being a control freak. However, I don't think she would be one to want to have control over others. Rather she wants to control everything in her own life. Even in Lesson Zero, her manipulation of others was done out of a desire to bring her own life back into the norm. Once she does get into her control freak mode, she doesn't really have any limit on what she will do to get that control back.
While dynamic characters are always important, having a character act extremely abnormal just because she is way out of her comfort zone is very flimsy reasoning for her actions. That is why I think it would be better to stress that she is attempting to regain control rather than take it.
I think we're on the same road, just in a different lane.
And it's not an argument; It's an intelligent conversation :P
2739279
Well, that was my point: killing the deer was more an exercise of control over her own life rather than a direct control over someone else. But of course, control over someone else is always a terrible drug that can affect anyone, especially someone from a species with hierarchical tendencies. I was simply observing that the former combined with the heady taste of the latter could have been more deeply explored.
As for acting completely out of character, I wasn't advocating that; after all, Twilight didn't eat Scoots and I was very happy with that. Furthermore, I hope as the story goes on we see her directing the pack away from dealing with ponies, making it a crime punishable by her burning the everlovin' live out of the offender if they hurt a pony or hunt them. But again, her situation is extraordinary, and a significant change in behavior, even if only temporary, can be implemented and even expected to some degree. Plus again, there's the psychological appeal of the "forbidden" acts of consuming flesh and other predator actions that would appeal to anyone in such a situation, more so for a nerd like Twilight.
In any case, I just really want to see her more involved with her own story here, and certainly embracing her change to a degree. The formulaic approach would work here: she loses herself a bit in what she's become, but then a crisis forces her to have to regain some of her lost humanity (yes, "equinity" would be the exact and fan-liked term, but these characters are human in mindset and so "humanity" works here in the description of that immaterial behavior/mindset/spirit that marks us as more than mere animals), probably to save her friends either from a rogue pack of wolves, timber wolves, her own pack, or even a larger, more threatening monster like a manticore or hydra. In that her friends would realize she's still their Twilight, Twilight would see her friends still care about her and want her back, and thus the problems can be resolved and the story ended in a traditional manner.
At least I hope we get something like that. The Devil's in the details, after all.
Seriously, bring in Celestia. Now. Bring down the holy smite hammer! I want to see some fury flying at Twilight from Celestia. I want to see angst!
Or something hilarious. Either way works for me
Right. There's only one way to fix this. CELESTIA! TWILIGHT'S GONE CARNIVORE!!!!!
2739159 I agree, this chapter was a bit short and didn't really add much. I also agree we should get more of Twilight's thoughts, but it would be cool to get her thoughts from herself, only to have them overpowered a bit by her new predatory instincts. Show us her mental struggle, how is she fighting back... and is she succeeding.
okay, you have made this story way to sad.This has a comedy tag for freaks sake! I feel sad to think of a little girls best freind turning in her dad to the police.
We need Celestia RIGHT now. Actually, we should have gotten Celestia here when they first realized that Twilight was a wolf. Hopefully Twi will come to her senses. But if she doesn't, WE COULD ALWAYS USE MY MALLET!!!!!
Somebody please get that reference.
2750900 There were a bunch of changeling stories right after the end of season 2. But the recent surge of them was caused by the popularity of Irony of Applejack.
CONTINUE! Its so awesome!!!!
Can't wait for what happens next! And where'd Screw Loose get to? She was cool.
I am glad that they finally decided to write (Even if Fluttershy winds up making them forget again) and this could turn into the pack being hunted...
But that doesn't seem like your style, then again, neither did her becoming a true hunter.
Meh. The characters are going into OOC territory pretty hard.
Twi - Forget she have magic th ewhole fic. (not like its important for her character)
Shy - Go all " when she see Twi hunting (and not bother talking to her there.. by flying). Nope! Dead deer is a total drama.. coming form the ONE pony in the group that's the most aware of death and what happens in the wild. But a dead deer is more important than her friend in trouble.
M6 - Obey ridiculous order to cower in basement when that goes against everything they stand for. Danger? LETS HIDE AND LEAVE THE UNSTABLE TWI GO ALONE! GOOD PLAN!
WOOPS the situation went bad to worse due to cliche "jumptoconclusions" thing when we weren't there.. what a sad coincidence.
No one warns Celestia, quietly or not. No way that Twi and magical problems arent a common occurrence, or that secondary communication channels exist to reach Celly quickly (Spike is just one way of many).
Heck, Celly probably got several spies to keep an eye out .. Celly has invested a lot in Twilight, (Twi is Celestia's weapon to solve all the problems the princess doesnt want to bother with) no way she doesnt keep them under her watch, or Mayor Mare/militia has orders on that too...
Rarity...
Have you completely lost your common sense? And then you have the nerve to tut at AJ when she suggests the only option that makes sense.
2831676 Your picture... I...
THERE ARE NO WORDS!
NEVERMIND