Great chapter comrade hoorah! Now on to the next one.

both soon looking dazed and confused. seemed like a zepplin quote to me but ah well.

Love It!!!

Great sory and all but you REALLY need to get a proof reader or something. Either way can't wait for more.

sex scene sex scene sex scene

Dude good story but you need a proof reader. Its here not hear, and a whole bunch of other mistakes that kind of ruins the flow of the story. I'm not good with spelling either so don't let this get you down just see if you can re read it and find the problems you made.

Poor scoots

YAY

t.qkme.me/3sdyv2.jpg

Keep it up. This story only gets better and better. Though you should get a proof reader their was alot of spelling mistakes that can be fixed easily if someone, will proof read it.

as many have said minor spelling mistakes but it is amazing so far and i shall read the next chapter

i would probably have a heart attack if Rainbow Dash told me she loved me. Very nice story!

Whats the matter fun stuff, cat got your tong

At first I thought this was some kind of witty play on words because he was a chef. Then I realized you misspelled tongue.

3231041 Your profile pic goes well with that.

Okay, here is some improvement. The bullying ends, but that is understandable since in the colt's eyes they're facing down an alien with an unknown combative ability and a freaking Element Bearer, and Hero of Equestria. Even without that, she's a full grown mare, and an alpha athlete, with aerodynamic speed and agility in her favor, and even if they were 'slow' they would have noticed that with various factors counted against them, it wasn't likely a fight they could win, and so chose the classic flight of bullies when outclassed.

What I especially like, is Scootaloo having this muscle disorder and not only her having to live with it, but the human and Rainbow knowing the truth, and the impact it has on them. I will remain hopeful that Scootaloo doesn't encounter an insta-cure for her muscle disorder, as having to suffer with it can deepen her character and our empathy towards her and her suffering.

I also liked the whole mental dilemma of telling Rainbow Dash how he feels and then blurts out how he feels about her, when he feels that he's going to lose her. Although he should have been worrying about this like a dog on a bone, several chapter back, since it would make his current outburst and concerns more concrete and lead up to his outburst in this chapter.

I love this story but all the misspelled words are killing me
Any new stories you come up with I will look over them for free and correct all spelling errors
It's fine if you don't take my offer