School of Hard Rocks
School of Hard Rocks
“You plannin’ on gettin’ up any time today, miss?”
Trixie’s eyes fluttered open and she groaned pitifully. She felt like somepony had thrown her down a well. A deep, dry well. Repeatedly. She closed her eyes again, cursing.
“Miss Trixie? Are you in there?” he called. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us and it’s near enough to eight o’ clock.” Trixie struggled to say something. The dry night air here had left her parched. Reaching for the glass of water she kept by her bedside, her back suddenly seized up. Crying out, she accidentally knocked the glass over. As the water spread over her imported rug, she let out a scream of rage. It would have been much more satisfying to throw something, but her muscles seemed to have been turned into wood overnight.
“Are you all right in there?” Humble shouted.
“No, I’m not all right!” Trixie spat. “Your stupid exercise routine mauled me! I can barely move!” She rolled out of bed, but as her hooves landed on the floor, they sent a wave of pain up each leg and she collapsed.
“Ah, sore, eh?” Humble said through the door. “Not surprised, really.” Trixie imagined what it would be like to take one of his beloved boulders and drop it on his head. Even that thought failed to cheer her much. Her imagination wasn’t quite as vivid as the very real pain saturating every muscle.
“No, I’m not sore!” she yelled. “I’m crippled!” Suddenly, Trixie grinned, an idea forming. “Sorry, I suppose you will have to get another worker. I’ll need to see a doctor.”
“Hurt, are you? Well, you just hold on.” Trixie gasped as the door to her trailer flew open with a bang, showering her with splinters. Humble’s hoof had left a deep depression near her doorknob. “Sorry about that, miss,” he said, stepping inside. “Medical emergency, you know. Here, I’ve got you.” He bent down and picked the sputtering Trixie up, throwing her over his back.
“Now wait—you can’t just—my door!” Trixie tried to squirm away, but every twist sent a new stab of pain into her body.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” Humble said mildly, making his way outside. “I’ll fix your door up, don’t you worry.” He turned to regard her over his shoulder. “But first, we’ve got to fix you up.” He turned to look at the sun, which had just peeked over the nearby hills. “Already late in the day, you know.”
Trixie ground her teeth. “I’ve already told you, I can’t work,” she said, unevenly, bumping painfully as he trotted toward the farmhouse.
“Oh, ayuh. I heard you,” Humble answered. “I’ve been through this plenty, though. Farmin’ is hard work. You’re not the first to wake up feelin’ like limestone in a slate field.” Trixie was too tired to try and decipher whatever that adage might mean.
Humble stopped in front of a strange, metal drum. Large enough to fit at least a dozen ponies inside, the drum was tipped at a forty-five degree angle, supported by an ancient, rusted machine. Several aged rubber belts looped over the drum, fitting snuggly into a geared motor protruding from the machine's body. Trixie wrinkled her nose as the acrid smell of axle grease it gave off turned her stomach. “So here we are.” Trixie eyed it suspiciously.
“And just what is that?” she asked.
“This here is my rock tumbler,” he answered, rubbing the drum fondly. “She’s a real beaut. Versatile. She handles lots of jobs on the farm.”
Studying the large drum and the ramp that lead into it, Trixie decided enough was enough. This insane farmer is not putting me in that thing. Eyes watering from the pain, Trixie slid off of Humble’s back and began shuffling stiffly back the way they had come.
“I don’t know what you are trying to pull, but count me out!” she growled, wincing with each delicate step she took. Humble frowned, biting down on his pipe.
“Now, see here,” he said, walking after her. “You think my wife rises fresh as a daisy after a night of calxthenics? If you want to work your day away weak as a newborn pebble, well, that’s your lookout, I suppose.” He lowered his head to look directly into her eyes. “But you will be a-workin’.” Trixie backed slowly away from him, her muscles twitching and spasming.
“But, I can’t, Humble!” she said thickly, the words catching in her throat. She sat down and looked away, trying not to cry. “I’m not kidding. I can barely move.”
“Well, if you’d clean out your ear and listen, you’d see that I’m tryin’ to help you,” Humble said sternly. “Golly-gee, miss. You act like the world owes you a favor and is out to get you all at the same time.” Humble shrugged and began his way back to the house. “But it’s your choice, I suppose. I’ll give you a few minutes to get yourself up and runnin’, but we’re startin’ soon.”
“Okay, okay!” Trixie called after him, sure that she was going to regret this. “What’s the deal with the rock tumbler?” Humble stopped, regarding her curiously over his shoulder. Was that a smile? Trixie thought, squinting. Maybe the morning light was playing tricks on her. Whatever it was, it’s gone now. Trixie watched him warily as he trotted back, scowling once more. Why is he always so grim?
“As I said,” Humble began, pulling out his pipe to motion with it toward the tumbler. “She’s got a lot of uses. One is sore muscles.” Trixie rubbed her eye with a hoof. She was so tired. Much too tired for this.
“Please,” she said, her voice trembling. “You’re not going to… put me in there, are you?” There! I’ve said it. Now he can laugh at my ignorance.
“Of course I am,” he said. “Shush, now,” he said gently as her mouth flew open to protest. “Much of life is about trust, filly. You may as well learn that now.”
Squeezing her eyes shut, Trixie allowed herself to be picked up again. Her stomach began to roll uncomfortably as Humble ascended the ramp. As they passed a large bucket of stones at the ramp’s apex, Trixie bit her lip.
What am I doing?! I’ve got to get out of here before he kills me in that thing! Gathering her strength, Trixie tried to slide off Humble’s back and down the ramp. “On second thought—” Her stomach lurched again as Humble’s strong hooves caught her.
“Whoops, careful there. You nearly fell,” he said distractedly, as he studied a large panel filled with various switches.
“Humble, I—” she began.
“Well, in you go,” Humble said, and with a grunt, he pitched her into the drum’s dark interior.
For a moment, Trixie forgot all about her sore muscles. Panicking, she clawed at the walls, searching for any purchase to stop her descent. Worn from use, the drum offered her nothing. With a jolt, she landed in a soft pile of sand.
“Humble, get me out of here!” she yelled, wincing as the sound echoed loudly around her.
“’Ware your head. Rocks incomin’.” Trixie squeezed herself as close to a wall as possible, covering her head with her hooves. Trixie’s eyes widened as a dozen or so rocks thudded into the sand.
Those rocks are the size of my hooves! she thought, “Don’t you dare turn that thing on!” she screamed at the opening. “My agent will hear about this!”
“Here we go,” Humble’s called. “You just sit back and relax.”
Suddenly the drum was moving. Trixie shrieked and looked for any hoofhold. Smooth! she thought, sliding her hooves desperately across the interior of the drum. It’s so smooth! There’s no way out! Oscillating left to right, the drum began to mix the sand and rocks together, and with irresistible power, it began to suck Trixie into the center. Paddling furiously, she tried to avoid the churning rocks, but the drum’s action left her completely without balance or leverage. Soon she was spinning gently, surrounded by the sharp cracking of rocks slamming together. Over it all, Trixie could hear whistling coming from somewhere outside the drum’s opening. If I survive this, I’ll make him wish I didn’t! Trixie thought, as her shoulders disappeared under the churning sand.
Trixie gave up struggling. The sand was too heavy and the drum was too powerful. Instead, she tried to remain as quiet as possible. Maybe he’ll think it’s finished me off, she thought. Grabbing her hind legs, she curled up as tightly as she could manage. Clenching her jaw and squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she waited for the end to come.
The sensation was so unexpected that for a moment Trixie thought one of the rocks must have hit her head. Suddenly, instead of pulling her under, the sand was holding her, rocking her. As it slid over and under her, the heavy rocks that Humble had dumped in kneaded her sore muscles, working them as expertly as a spa masseuse. Uncurling her body, Trixie relaxed and let the machine work its magic on her. For several minutes, she was in a state of bliss. She couldn’t think of a time when she felt better, and all too soon it was over.
“Well,” Humble’s voice echoed down to her, “I reckon that ought to have done it.” Trixie stretched, smiling.
“Trixie requires ten more minutes,” she called up, snugging deeply into the sand. “You may return when called.”
“Yup,” Humble returned. “That did the trick all right.” Trixie let out a small shriek as the drum suddenly emptied below her, spilling her out onto the ground. Rubbing her rump, she glared at Humble as he walked over to close and relock the drum’s release door.
“Maybe you didn’t hear Trixie!” she growled.
“Oh, I’ve had an earful of Trixie, don’t you worry,” he said, scowling. “Thought we had moved past the third person nonsense, since there’s no young rocks around to appreciate it, but I can see I’ve erred. Let’s get you up.” Humble offered his hoof to her, but Trixie ignored it. Shaking herself, she stood, stretching.
“Nonsense?” she said, combing a hoof through her mane to shake out the last grains of sand. “What would you know about proper decorum? A star must act as a star at all times. Trixie regrets forgetting herself this morning.” Humble shook his head, scowling even more deeply than usual.
“Funny. Most 'stars' don’t work on rock farms,” he said over his shoulder as he walked back toward the farm house. “So what does that say about you?” Trixie glared after him, kicking one of the nearby rocks. She swore as it chipped her hoof. Just as Humble was about to round the corner, he stopped and froze her with that penetrating gaze. “I had thought we were makin’ some progress, but I see it’s been for naught. Get to the South Field and we’ll see if the current batch of rocks learn any faster than you do.”
---
Who does that bumpkin think he is, ordering me around? Trixie fumed as she followed the path markers to the South Field. She really wanted something to scream at, but there seemed to be nothing around but rocks as far as the eye could see. Not even a bird or a squirrel she could hurl one of the smaller stones at. Calling me dumber than a rock when all he does is spout nonsense! Progress, he says. Progress with what?! I ought to progress my hoof into his flank…
“Oh, no hurry. Here on the farm, we grow time as well as rocks.”
Trixie jumped. She had been so caught up in her ferocious daydreams that she had forgotten why she was walking on the path in the first place. Tapping a hoof impatiently, Humble stood at a rusted stile leading into the southern field. Pushing it open, he impatiently waved for her to move through. Thrusting her nose into the air, Trixie trotted through without meeting his eye. Humble let out a heavy sigh and moved to step in time with her.
“So, yonder is today’s assignment,” he said, pointing to a wooden structure in the middle of the field. Trixie squinted, trying to make out exactly what it was in the growing haze.
“Is that… a stage?” she asked, her ears perking up.
“Oh, ayuh,” he said, nodding. “Thought you might like that.” Trixie’s heart leapt.
“A show?” Trixie cried, galloping toward the stage. “Finally, Trixie’s talents are utilized!” Suddenly, she pulled up short. Humble, still walking behind her, pursed his lips around his pipe. “But, uh, Trixie needs to go back and get her cart,” she said, working to avoid meeting his eyes. “She has vital components of magical power there that must be—”
“You won’t be needin’ them,” Humble said, making his way toward the stage once more. “I’ve got everythin’ we’ll need there.” Trixie’s felt her stomach drop.
What am I going to do without my fireworks?! she thought, her mind whirling. The stage that had looked so inviting now loomed like a cage in front of her. I’ve got to stall him! Trixie crossed her legs, bobbing up and down. “Oh, Humble,” she called after him. “Trixie regrets that she must visit the facilities. She will be back momentarily.” Humble, having reached the stage, reached underneath and pulled out a large, dented metal pail.
“When I said everythin’, I meant everythin’, miss,” he said, pushing the bucket toward her. “Just take this around back, but try not to let the rocks see you. They get embarrassed easily.” Eyeing the bucket, Trixie gave it a wide berth as she approached the stage.
“On second thought, Trixie can wait.” Humble shrugged as he made his way up a series of steps onto the stage.
“Suit yourself, then,” he said, digging through a battered trunk. “Ah, here it is. Come on up.” Trixie sighed and ascended the stairs, searching for some way to get out of whatever it was Humble had in mind. As she approached, he thrust a primer into her hooves. It read:
Schoolhouse Rocks
An Elementary Guide to Stone
Education and Motivation
By
Igneous Feldspar
“You’ll want to give that a thorough readin’, miss,” Humble said, still digging through the crate. “Now where are those flags?” he mumbled under his breath.
“Are you trying to get revenge for this morning?” Trixie asked, flipping to random pages in the book. Disgusted, she threw it away. “Trixie doesn’t talk to rocks.” She waited, letting the words hang in the air while Humble continued to shuffle objects around, grumbling. “Are you listening?” she yelled, stomping a hoof. Humble’s head reappeared and he grimaced at her.
“As if I have any choice,” he growled.
“Well, then answer!”
“Don’t see that an answer is necessary,” he said, rummaging through the box again. “You say you’re not goin' to do it—Aha!” Humble pulled out two diagonally striped flags and set them down next to a small podium. “But in the end, you will.” He pulled off his hat and fanned the podium, blowing away the layer of grey dust that had settled there. Unsurprisingly, the paint underneath was grey. Humble stopped, chewing on his pipe stem. “’Cause I’m not givin' you a choice. This is your job today, so get to readin’.”
Tossing her head angrily, Trixie snatched up the book and began leafing through it. Just reading the table of contents made her head hurt.
Fundamentals of Stone Nutrition. The Role of Compassion in Creating Positive Rock Environments. The Many Moods of Your Stone. Trixie peeked over the book to spy on Humble. He was absorbed in setting a PA system up on the podium. I-I don’t get it, she thought. He seems almost obnoxiously practical. He can’t really believe this tripe. He’s got to be an actor! Dotted Line is punishing me. She gasped and jerked her head behind the book once more as he looked over at her.
“So you stay here and study up,” he said, making his way down the stairs. “I’ll go and get our students.” Rolling her eyes, Trixie returned to reading.
To the layman, a rock is simply an amalgamation of minerals and binders. Most consider them to be unchanging and inert. However, to those who take the time for careful observation, it is apparent that while wild rocks are common, they are hardly the pinnacle of geologic evolution. In just the way that a fruit tree can be fertilized, shaped, and pruned, a rock can be similarly cultivated. Contained within these chapters is the collected wisdom of both farmers and scientists who have dedicated their lives to the advancement of stone. Use this book judiciously but feel free to deviate from it if your stones respond better to different methods. Remember, this is a guide, not a blueprint.
Trixie’s head snapped up as a wagon filled with an enormous pile of rocks clattered loudly around the stage. Backpedaling furiously, Humble tried to stop, but the heavy cart kept pushing him along for several more yards. Finally, it came to a rest and Humble pulled off his hat. Using it to fan himself, he mopped the sweat from his brow with his other hoof.
“You makin’ any headway on that book?” he panted, using his hat to shield his eyes from the sun. Trixie tossed the book on the podium and hopped off the stage.
“What is all this for, exactly? It galls her to think it, but Trixie supposes that you want her to give these rocks a pep talk.” Humble began unloading the cart. With a grunt, he picked out a rock, setting it down before her. He followed that with another, and another, making a neat row.
“You might say that,” he said, straining from the heavy load. “Quality rocks are worldly. You’ve been around. I’d like you—oof, heavy one—to tell ‘em about your travels.” He stopped to lean on the wagon for a minute, catching his breath. “Let ‘em see that they can grow up and do great things.”
“You seriously want the Great and Powerful Trixie to waste her valuable time telling stories to rocks?”
“Why do I have to tell you everythin’ twice?” Humble growled, dropping another stone into his row. “I thought entertainers would be faster on the uptake, needin’ to read crowds and whatnot, but maybe that’s why your services came so cheaply.”
“What did you say?!” Trixie gasped. She was so shocked that she involuntarily took a few steps away from the horrible farmer and tripped over a stone. She winced as Humble wrapped his legs around another stone from his wagon, maneuvering it above her before waddling back to his row.
“See, here I am repeatin’ myself again. You were cheap.” Humbled placed his hooves on his back, arching toward the sky. As his back gave several sharp pops, he sighed. “Ten bits a day. That’s your contracted price.”
“Ten bits?” Trixie said softly, still sprawled out in the dusty field. Her eyes shimmered with tears as she looked up at Humble. “Ten bits is all The Great and Powerful Trixie is worth now?”
“Well, I had thought it was a crackin’ good bargain, but that was before you laid there in the dirt while I broke my back movin’ all the rocks. That was before you talked my ear off last night and slept away the mornin’.” As Humble moved to stand over her, Trixie was completely engulfed by his shadow. “Here’s your opportunity to show that you're worth more.” He offered his hoof to Trixie once more and, after a moment, she took it.
---
Trixie stood behind the podium, squinting against the glare of the harsh sunlight at the rows of rocks sitting in the field.
I can’t believe I’m doing this, she thought. Glancing briefly at the book before her, she scanned the first page of the chapter Humble had turned it to. It read:
Your stones can achieve greatness with care, attention to detail, and most importantly, the correct motivation. Rocks grow best when they are exposed to attainable goals and when they know that dreams can come true. Left to their own devices, stones tend to be lazy, but with proper incentive they will reach for the stars!
Trixie rolled her eyes and turned once more to appeal to the kernel of rational thought that must reside somewhere in Humble’s mind. As she opened her mouth, Humble clenched his jaw and pointed at the microphone. Trixie sighed, tapping the microphone to test the volume.
“So, um, hello,” Trixie began. As she spoke, Trixie tried to ignore Humble, who was flailing around beside her. The sound of fabric snapping in the wind made whatever he was doing nearly impossible to ignore. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has been brought—what are you doing?!” Trixie whirled around to face the farmer. He shot her an annoyed glance and lowered his flags.
“What does it look like?” he said, hooves on his hips. “I’m translatin’ your speech into semaphore.” Trixie cocked her eyebrow at him, trying to make some sense of this.
“Semaphore?” she asked. “Why?” Humble sighed and motioned toward the rocks.
“'Cause some rocks are born stone deaf. It’s a genetic condition.” He held his flags out before him, waving them gently to unfurl them for Trixie. “We’ve found semaphore works the best for a large crowd. It’s the only way the ones all the way in the back get the message.”
“Well, can you knock it off?” Trixie snapped. “All of that waving is distracting me!” Humble pushed his hat up with a flag, regarding her with a half lidded stare.
“Oh, I thought I was dealin’ with a professional entertainer,” he said. “You can’t work with a little distraction?” Humble gently placed his flags down and began to walk off the stage. “I guess I’ll have to tell the agency you aren’t fit to perform.”
“No, no, no!” Trixie cried, blanching. Above all else, she couldn’t afford to have word spread that she couldn’t put on a show. “Trixie will show you that she is the greatest performer of all time! She’s, ah, just not used to flags.”
“Well, don’t show me,” Humble grumbled, retrieving his flags and standing beside her once more. He pointed out into the audience. “Show them.” Trixie squared her shoulders and stared out into the assemblage. Shaking her head, she adjusted the microphone’s height and took a deep breath.
“Today, you stand at a fork in the road,” she began, working to ignore the flapping sounds beside her. “Before you, a path branches. One road leads down into a gentle valley, surrounded by tall mountains. The other leads up into those very mountains. It is a dark, twisted, forbidding path.” Trixie glanced over at Humble, who was a blur of motion. Sweating, he looked like a clock gone berserk as he attempted to keep up with her speech. Warming both to the performance and to making Humble uncomfortable, Trixie removed the microphone from its stand and began to pace the stage.
“You will want to take that road into the valley. That downhill path looks so inviting, but look around you! Look at the mountains, and how they crowd in. If you go down that road, you will be stuck forever at the bottom, unless you retrace your steps and choose a different path! You—”
Trixie gasped, blinking and shading her eyes. She wasn’t sure, but she could swear that the rows of rocks had just inched forward en masse. The sun was beating down ferociously by now, causing the air near the ground to shimmer.
I-it must have been a trick of the light, Trixie thought, stealing a glance at Humble. He returned her glance, and Trixie’s eyes flew wide as he gave her a little smirk. I wasn’t dreaming this morning! He can smile! Humble motioned impatiently for her to continue.
“You have another option, though!” Trixie belted out in ringing tones. Crossing the stage once more, she was amused to see that Humble was beginning to look quite tired. Between the heat and the rocks he had moved earlier, his arms weren’t quite snapping the fabric of the flags as smartly as they were before. Let’s see him keep up with this! Trixie jumped down off the stage, the microphone cord trailing behind her.
“Yes, the other option! The hard option! The long climb up that mountain.” Trixie began walking down the nearest row, inspecting the rocks as she went. Finally, she reached the end of the cord and had to turn back, switching to a new row as she went. “The Great and Powerful Trixie once made a similar choice. When she was a little filly, it was plain to all that she was supremely gifted. They sent her to school, and there she studied. Juggling. Acting. Showmareship. Singing. When others partied or slept, she studied. When others thought the going was too hard, she studied. When others were making friends and having fun, she studied. She studied, and worked, and marched up that steep mountain path.”
From this vantage, she could see Humble clearly. Sweat streaming down his face, he whipped his legs into precise formations with the flags. When she paused for breath, he dropped his legs heavily to his sides as he sucked in air. Watching him struggle, Trixie was surprised to feel something twinge in her chest.
I-is he okay? He looks like he could keel over any second now! Pursing her lips, Trixie pushed the thought away. She brought back the memories of the previous night and his torturous exercise farce, but unbidden, she also remembered his care this morning. Confused, she shook her head vigorously and made her way back to the stage.
“For it is the difficult path up the mountain that puts us among the stars!” Trixie cried out, jumping back onto the stage. “Trixie ascended that path, and you can as well! Work hard and let nothing stand in your way, and you can all be stars!” Trixie punctuated this by standing on her hind legs, punching her front legs into the sky. She felt exhilarated. It had been entirely too long since she had last performed for an audience, even if the audience was a bunch of rocks.
A sniff startled her, and she turned slowly in wide-eyed amazement to Humble. He stood, wiping his eye with the corner of a flag. The other watery eye was fixed squarely on her.
“Oh, ayuh,” he said, his voice shaking. “That was a right good rock speech you just gave. I can’t say I’ve heard better in all my years.” Flustered, Trixie fumbled for a response. One must act a star, she thought. Flipping her hair, she regarded him coolly.
“Of course it is, fool. Do you now see the error of your ways? You should have never doubted that Trixie the Magnificent is the most talented performer in all of Equestria.” Trixie thrust her nose into the air, but her heart twinged again as she watched the emotion drain from his face. Once again he leveled his cool, detached gaze at her, frowning.
“Well, you’ve got a talent, I’ll give you that,” he said. “But when the mask comes off, underneath, you’re still you.” He spat on the ground near the stage. “And you’ve got to live with that.” Trixie flinched away from his words, and hated herself for it. Confused, she looked away from him and wondered what had gotten into her. “And unfortunately,” he continued, “so do I for the next few days.” He turned and walked off the stage. “So let’s get ready for the next class.” Trixie whipped around suddenly, running after him as he disappeared around the back of the stage.
“‘Next class’?” she asked. “What do you mean, ‘next class’?” Snorting, Humble pointed off into the field, where hundreds more stones lay in piles. Trixie’s mouth fell open as the horrible truth dawned on her.
“You surely don’t want Trixie to inspire all of them today, do you?” she asked, wishing she didn’t already know the answer.
“Oh, ayuh,” Humble answered, retrieving his cart. “Timin’ is critical in rock farmin’, and today’s the day.” Trixie gently banged her head against the wooden siding that made up the back of the stage. “Of course, it’ll go faster if you help me load ‘em up,” Humble said, giving her a meaningful look as he pulled the cart out to the field. With a heavy sigh, Trixie followed.
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So much madness. No wonder Trixie went crazy and went after the alicorn amulet. I wonder if Trixie will murder the Pies before leaving the farm.
Trixie has great points. Today, I showed this fic to Rocky. I'm Rocky's coach. It hardened Rocky's resolve before the race. Usually, he just gets stoned. Was about to hold up a store when I stopped him at the door, and offered to help reach the path Trixie describes. Rocky would be in the stoney lonesome if it weren't for a bit of motivation. Good writing.
Every time I think Humble can't get better, he does.
2457669 I think I can definitely say...maybe.
2457713 It's all been worth it knowing your rock trainee has found the inspiration from this story to go the extra mile. Your rock time investment is 100% Humble Pie approved!
2458080 Why, thank you! It will be interesting to see what people think of the next chapter. It gets into some interesting territory.
2462260 Thanks for reading this! That reaction is perfect to me. Either he's insane or he's legit. The world waits to find out which it is...
2611269 Thanks for reading this and for your kind words! I'm a few chapters from completing this, but my life has been super crazy lately. Hopefully, I'll have a new chapter up in a week or two when things calm down.
This story has been reviewed by the Equestrian Critics Society
Title: Taking a Job for Granite
Author:xjuggernaughtx
Reviewed by: Quillbit Marelor
The Great and Powerful Trixie is, without a doubt, one of the most popular side characters on the show, which eventually earned her another appearance in season three, making her the first antagonist to have a follow up episode. Though there is some controversy over her portrayal in her debut episode, that still hasn’t kept the fans from loving her. Despite her somewhat pompous attitude and rude demeanor, she still has that charisma that all entertainers should possess. In xjuggernaughtx’s story, Taking a Job for Granite, a reader will become quickly immersed in a tale full of Trixie goodness and an onslaught of hilarious, creative events.
Full Review
Score: 9.8/10
2625197 Wow! Thanks for the great review! I'm thrilled that you liked it so much!
I sure do love this story, ayuh. I can't wait to see more of it
2626211 Thanks so much for reading it! I should have a new chapter up pretty soon. I'm nearly done writing the rough draft.
2626331 You would not believe the booking fee for Tom! That's why I had to keep the scene so short. His agent wants a ridiculous fee.
I'm very happy you are enjoying this. I'm hoping to have a new chapter out in a week or two. The first draft is nearly done.
Haha, this is a great fic, and i'm honestly enjoying the rock puns!
Hmm. If Sue (or whatever her name is in this fic) comes back, I wonder what she would think of Trixie.
2626457 I haven't decided on the rest of the Pie family. I don't really have any plans for them, but If a good idea hits me, I'd love to include them before this is all done.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on this. It makes my day that people are enjoying it!
maybe humble isn't so mad after all.
2627512 He's an enigma to all. I should have Twilight come hang out with him. That would be some fun. Anytime Twilight is confused and frustrated is comedy gold to me!
2627786 You know, I've always reined myself in before when I truly ridiculous idea hit me. This is the story where I allowed something like the Bed Rocks to just happen. I got finished with that chapter and I just had to sit back and say, What the hell am I writing here?" In doing so, I think this story has achieved something that I had always stood in the way of before. Because the comedy was so ridiculous, I was able to give more weight to the dialogue, which I think helped the story a lot. At least, it seems that way to me.
Thanks for reading this! I'm thrilled that you gave it a shot, and enjoyed it, despite the Trixie-ness.
2628328 oh, I don't think twilight would be confused by humble. I think they would understand each other more than one might think. but that all depends upon how one interprets twilights character. I prefer a complex interpretation.
VERY complex. and the web of her character is very fascinating. so is that of humble, by the way, and on many points, their characters share some obscure similarities.
ill stop speaking in riddles now. suffice it to say that humble and twilight are not all that different.
2628903 I think they could work out just fine as soon as Twilight figured out his world view. It would be something like Feeling Pinky Keen. Twilight would need an adjustment period, but she's smart enough to get it after a little while, especially if she can find some measurable effects.
Really, though, I would just want to write Twilight. She's my favorite character, so I can't get enough of her. In fact, this is the first non Twilight thing I've written. I hadn't thought about that before.
2628932 as soon as twilight understood his worldview? and a referral to "feeling pinkie keen" as an illustration of the point? what the thundering f--
have you forgotten the moral of feeling pinkie keen? "dear princess celestia: there are some wonderful things in this world that we just cant understand..."
twilight didn't have understanding by the end of feeling pinkie keen, she had blind acceptance. however, she was satisfied with that blindness, and she learned to live with it and accept it. (a stupid moral if you ask me,but regardless...).
no, i meant it in a different way. more philosophical than anything else. i think that if you got twilight together with humble, i guess you could go the comedic route, i suppose, but things could also go really deep into some phenomenal philosophical concepts.
i know im not making much sense. sorry. but as i said, it all depends upon which interpretation of twilight you endorse. and the version i endorse makes both perfect sense and no sense at all. trust me, you don't want me to get into it.
2642538 I had to stop after chapter two and just stare at my computer screen. I kept thinking, "Where is all this ridiculous stuff coming from?" I dunno. I just can't not make Rocky Road Farm extremely weird. I've tried. It just doesn't work. Humble's just a very odd stallion, I guess.
It's a shame you haven't gone fully down the path of straight-faced insanity, but a redemption story is good too.
2642681 I'm in the process of writing another story that is much more insane than this one. It might even be too ridiculous. We will see if that sees the light of day.
2629902
I get the feeling rock farming might be intuitively close enough to something earth pony magic might plausibly do for Twilight to seriously entertain the notion that something's actually happening and be able to direct her study appropriately.
Of course, it might be a sufficiently subconscious magic that it'd be like WH40K orks. When she finally figures it out and tries to correct Humble's misconceptions of the mechanics, it stops working.
2643350 magic? psychological study? whatchoo' talkin' 'bout?
no, im convinced that the places in which they would find similarity are nowhere near her studies of psychology or earth pony magic. just...let it slide, man. if I explain myself im only going to trigger a landslide of crack philosophers arguing with me in the comments over one thing or another. trust me, its happened before. and im not getting into that schtick again. i may have proven my case the last time, but it was long, tiring, and grueling. i had to prove myself like five times to five different people who each had a different problem with what i said. not to mention two others who gave me shit for kicks. just...let it slide. im not gona go there.
2642838
It can't be more insane than the idea that Pinkie was classically trained in ACME Loonaversity and has to drill her friends in Advanced Cartoon Mechanics to defend them from the Animaniacs... can it?
2651246 Whoa. I'll admit, that has some pretty insane implications. However, yes, it could get that insane. What I've written thus far doesn't approach Animaniacs level, but it might get there. I'm going to try and not let the cat out of the bag here, but in a broad sense, I'm letting the story go WHEREVER my mind takes it. Once I get to about 3,000 words, I'm going to let some people read it and see how they feel about it. It's either going to be brilliant or I'm going to get a lot of hate mail. I'm interested to see which it is.
I now see where Pinkie gets it from
.You wrote him just how I pictured in my head cannon
. I do love
your story and believe that Humble has something to teach Trixie
. She has a lot of depth to her persona to be explored. I hope to see more of her and Derpy
in season 4.
Read that, lost it completely.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Hehhehe We need a Picture of Trixie giving a Speechto rocks in neat lines.
That guide, my sides.