“Twilight, are you sure Fluttershy’s house is around here?” Orion questioned as he glanced around the dirty alley they were standing in.
“Yes! I’m always right after all, I’m just the smartest pony ever because I read so many books!” Twilight replied in an odd, somewhat foreign voice. He couldn’t put his hoof on it, but there was something wrong with her… “It’s right down here!” She continued down the alley and took a left. Shaking his head, Orion followed.
They were defiantly in the slums of Ponville, the kind of place where you had to glance behind your back every few seconds. The alley was littered with pieces of rotten food and broken bottles. It gave off a stench that smelled like something had died in it, which most likely it had. Despite his mental protests he stepped further into the alley and followed Twilight through a maze of twists and turns.
“Uh Twilight… I really think you have no clue where we’re going…”
“Ha! I know exactly where we’re going, I know everything after all! I’m Princess Celestia’s personal student, and she’s the greatest, most powerful pony in all of Equestria! I could just talk about her for hours!”
Okay… There’s defiantly something wrong with her… I sure hope Applejack is faring better…
--------------------------
“Now just calm down Pinkie! Put down the pie and we can talk about this!” Applejack urged, ducking behind a table as a raspberry pie came flying at her.
“Talk about what? How you think I’m a joke?! About how stupid Pinkie Pie is and the only thing she’s good for is laughing at!?” Pinkie screamed, flinging another pie at her so called friend.
“Ah don’t got a clue what you’re talking about sugarcube!”
“Oh yeah right! I know all about how you guys laugh at me!” With her temper growing, she rolled out the heavy artillery and now began pelting her friend with fully frosted cakes.
“Discord’s gotten to ya that’s all! Remember that ah’m your friend Pinkie!” Applejack poked her head up from her cover, an obvious mistake as a cake was flying directly at her. She quickly ducked, and the cake splattered against the wall showering half of the store in strawberry frosting.
“Really Pinkie Pie, she’s right! Just calm down, you’re not yourself!” Orange Taffy urged, jumping up from behind the counter her rushed over to her.
“And you!” She turned to Orange taffy and bared her teeth at him. “You were in on it too weren’t you? You never loved me; you were just lying so you could all laugh at me when I’m alone!”
“N-now Pinkie, you know that’s not true! You don’t know what you’re saying!”
“I know what I’m saying, and I’m saying I have no friends!” Orange leaped for cover as Pinkie resumed her frosty assault.
--------------------------
“We’ve been wandering around for half an hour!” Orion finally yelled in frustration, stopping in his tracks. “I know something’s wrong Twilight, now tell me!”
“What’s wrong? How can there be anything wrong with me?! I’m just the smartest pony of all time, except for Discord of course…”
That’s it! The final piece snapped into place, and Orion facehoofed at how obvious the answer was. “Discord! Let Twilight go! I know your controlling her!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Orion! Let’s just keep going, we’re almost at Fluttershy’s…” Twilight went to keep walking, but he held her back by placing a hoof on her shoulder.
“No. Let her go Discord, this is supposed to be a fair game.”
Twilight smiled a devilish, mischievous grin. Her voice then immediately changed to that of a cold, heartless monster. “Who ever said anything about being fair?”
“I can’t do this on my own Discord, I need Twilight.”
“Oh well that’s too bad! I still own Twilight, that means I can do whatever I wish with her…” She stared at him with not the violet eyes of the mare he loved, but with the evil pupils of the one who had caused all this misery. “And If I wish to take complete control of her body, then I can do so…”
Complete control of her body? This might just work… Moving solely on a single crazy thought, Orion moved close to Twilight and met her lips with his. They embraced in a kiss for a few seconds, before the shock wore off of Twilight and she pulled away. “Twilight?” He asked weakly, staring at her in hopes for any sign of change.
“Orion? Oh my Celestia! I spoke! Discord’s control is broken!” She said with excitement, embracing him in hug. “How did you know that would work?”
“I didn’t! I just assumed that since Discord had taken complete control of your body he wouldn’t appreciate it very much if I kissed him!”
“Well who knows how long it is before he regains his senses! Quick, I’ll tell you where all my other friends live! Fluttershy lives on the edge of Everfree Forest, if you follow the path along Sweet Apple Acers you’ll get there! Rarity owns the Carousel Boutique just a few streets down from Sugarcube Corner! And Rainbow Dash-”
Twilight’s rapid explanation was cut short as Discord took control once again. Her sweet, caring expression immediately turned to one of hate. “I have to hand it to you Orion… I wasn’t expecting that… You were able to break my concentration, but it won’t happen again.”
“Just you wait and see Discord; I’ll be right in front of your throne with the Elements before sundown.” Orion nodded to her before galloping down the street and towards the Everfree Forest.
“Good luck…” Twilight let out a deep, cold laugh as she watched him disappear from sight.
------------------------------
“Um Angel, could you please, if it’s not too much trouble that is, put down the spoon?” Fluttershy pleaded weakly, ducking as the bunny threw the wooden utensil at her. “Now that’s not very nice Angel, what did I tell you about throwing things?”
The ironically named rabbit began rummaging through the cupboards, looking for something else to throw.
“Fluttershy?!” A voice yelled from outside, immediately after the door to her cottage was bucked down. “You must be Fluttershy!” Orion stated, quickly rushing over to her.
“Oh um, who are you?” The pegasus squeaked, ducking again as a whisk flew right over her head.
“It’s a long story, all you need to know is I’m a friend of Twilight’s.”
“Twilight mentioned you! But where’s your horn? She told me you were a unicorn…”
“It doesn’t matter! Now what in Equestria did Discord do to that rabbit?”
“There’s nothing wrong with him! He’s just a little upset because I don’t have any ice cream for lunch…”
Orion frowned, from what he was hearing outside he assumed some sort of horrific creature was on the loose inside her cottage. To think he got all worked up about an angry bunny…
SLAM
Orion fell flat on his back, a frying pan clattered to the floor beside him. Stars spun around his head, and he looked around disoriented.
“Angel! That’s not how we treat guests!” Fluttershy declared, finally having enough. She rose up from behind the counter and scowled at the bunny. Seeing that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted, he slammed his foot down before hopping away. “Oh I’m so sorry Mr. Orion… Angel just gets a little unruly sometimes…”
“Who?! What?!” The uncoirn shot up and looked around the quaint little cottage with suspicious eyes. Suddenly everything came back to him, and he breathed a sigh of relief as he got to his hooves. “Quick, you need to help me find the Element of Kindness! It should be around here somewhere!” He rushed over to her kitchen and began looking through the various drawers and cupboards.
“The Element of Kindness? Well I don’t think I have that around here… I think the Princess usually keeps those in Canterlot Castle…”
“No no! Discords taken control of Equestria if you hadn’t noticed! Now I’m in a game with him to find all the Elements of Harmony before sundown!” Orion hurriedly explained, finding the kitchen devoid of gems he began searching the rest of the house.
“Oh well I suppose I can help you then!” Fluttershy smirked, going about helping the stranger.
“I’ll go search upstairs, you keep looking down here!” Orion stated before rushing upstairs. The pegasus continued searching, peering into the many small homes of the creatures she looked after. She found nothing in the birdhouses, mouse holes and cat cradles.
A sudden loud pop scared her, and when she turned around she came face to face with the King of Chaos.
“Fluttershy! Long time no see…” He remarked, grinning manically at her.
“D-d-d-d-discord!” She stuttered, quickly leaping behind a couch.
“Aw, there’s no need to be afraid Fluttershy!” He hissed, placing his arms on the couch he peered down at her.
“G-g-g-go away!” She squeaked quickly curling into a ball.
“I’m not going to hurt you dear Fluttershy, how could I live with myself if I did? You’re the kindest and sweetest pony I know.” He ran a talon down her shivering back. “No… Physical punishment I’ve reserved only for Rainbow Dash…”
“Wh-what did you d-do to Ra-rainbow Dash?”
“Oh you’ll see soon enough. Now you’re not going to let Orion leave, are you?”
The pegasus looked up at the terrifying face of Discord, quickly regretting it she curled back into a ball. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“Well, I’m sure I could break you this time, but Orion is going to be down here soon… So, I’ll have to make this quick!” He tapped her on the head with his talon and in response the color from her body faded. She stopped shaking, and getting to her hooves she scowled at him. “Perfect! That should keep the fool occupied for a bit…” Discord cackled to himself, quickly teleporting away as he heard the sound of creaking stairs.
Orion rushed into the main room, panting as he was out of breath. “I f-found it Fluttershy!” He exclaimed, gesturing to the necklace in his hoof.
“Oh woopde-do! You found the stupid little necklace that does nothing!” She suddenly snapped before hurrying over to him. Completely stunned at her sudden change in attitude, he stared blankly at her for a few moments.
“What are you looking at, horn head?!” Fluttershy snarled, quickly snatching the necklace from his hooves.
“Hey give that back!” Orion went to grab it back, but the pegasus took flight and went out of his reach.
“What’s wrong? Cant’ fly? Oh I guess you unicorns can’t do everything then!”
What in Celestia’s name is wrong with her?! Orion thought as he stared at her. After a few seconds he quickly noticed something. She’s grey! Just like Pinkie Pie was! Discord must have gotten to her while I was upstairs…
“Fluttershy! Just give me the Element and let me be on my way. I’ve lost enough time as it is!”
The pegasus laughed cruelly, circling above him just out of reach. “Come and get it you stupid horn head! I’ve always hated all you unicorns, thinking you’re so much better then everypony just because you have magic!”
“This isn’t the time! Just- give- me- the-damn- ELEMENT!”Orion yelled in-between fruitless attempts at jumping for the element. Every time the pegasus would raise up a bit, his hoof just missing the gold necklace. With a final jump he just graced it; before gravity took effect and he plummet back to the floor, landing hard.
“Oh I guess you can’t use your magic either! Too bad, now you’re no better than an earth pony!” Fluttershy grinned, enjoying watching his pathetic attempts at getting the element.
Orion gritted his teeth as he looked up at the pegasus. I’ve got to get that element… For Twilight! With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he jumped onto the couch and leaped at her. With the added height he was able to tackle her to the ground.
“I’m sorry!” He quickly apologized, making sure to grab the Element from her hooves. He really hadn’t wanted to hurt her, as she was just a poor pawn in Discord’s twisted game.
“Ow my head…” Fluttershy mumbled, gently rubbing her now slightly bruised skull. “O-Orion? What happened?”
Noticing how awkward it was him lying on top of her, he quickly got to his hooves. “Fluttershy you're back! I’d love to explain, but I really have to get going. Quick, come with me! I’ll need your help once all this is done, and I can explain more on the way too…”
Noticing how awkward it was him lying on top of her,
All I can hear is Fluttershy yelling "Oh sweet Celestia not again, every time I go out drinking"
Good chapter. Liked how you wrote Discord, and the kissing scene was a clever touch.
413699
Thanks! Now I need somepony to make a clopfic of Discord and Orion!
On second thought, no... For the love of all that is holy no...
413779
lol
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Hi everypony... Stalin here, bringing yet another installation of Stalinview. Blah-blah..
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Boss! You suppose to be happy!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png About WHAT? About the fact that spirit of Chaos and Disharmony is reviewing with us AGAIN?
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Presicely!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png I hate you so much Discor...
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png I know! That's why i am here!
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Relax, boss! This shall be fun!
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Okay, since our "fearless leader" is currently trying to murder his female assistant, let me take a beginning! Let's dig into a story about glorious me, "A Deal with the Devil"!
-"I'll kill you!" "Ahh! Misha, save me!" "VOOOOOODKAAAAA"
----------------------------
"Twilight stumbled home in a drunken haze. The ponies that passed her on the street looked at her with disgust. She didn’t care, why should she care what some stupid ponies think of her? It had been another long night at the bar, and just as usual she came home empty hoofed…"
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Oh, dear Twilight Sparkle! How good it is to feel that you've finally understood how pointless is to resist my chaos! MWA-HA-HA-HA!
"“What? Ish a free country…” She mumbled before moving on."
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Oh PLEASE! Equestria is free country? Keep that empty illusions, dear Twilight Sparkle!
Dont be so mean, Discord! Sometimes it is easier to not know the truth
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png MWA-HA-HA-HA
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ...That laugh was completely random!
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Duh, spirit of CHAOS.
"The Dragon put his claw down and looked at her with a deep concern in his eyes. “Twilight, I really care about you. You can’t keep coming home drunk like this every week!”
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Stop behaving like her wife, Spike!
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Yeah! We all know how you like to steal Green Dragon's halucination gems!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ...What?
"THUMP"
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Up or down?
"Finally the dragon understood and he left quietly, letting his boss get over her hangover. Wanting to impress her later, he hurried down to the kitchen to make something that’d she be able to keep down"
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Oh, Misha undertand you so much! Good thing that in Poniet Union we have a wonderous medicine from all hangovers!
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Oh, really? What is it? I am recently drinking too much glass...
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Well, it's called "Rassol"! It's a leftovers from pickles marination! A panacea from any hangover!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png This story isnt feeling like a pony story AT ALL.
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Yeah. It feels more like everyday life of our fearless leader, heh!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png I'LL KILL YOU!!!
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Expecto Patronum!
..................................................................................
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ...What...?
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Feel urge to kill me now?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ...No. I feel that you are very stupid.
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png It worked! Thanks, Discord, for that advice!
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png You welcome.
"Alone… She had always been alone. Even in magic kindergarten, where fillies would always pick out their husband for a day. She had always sat out, wishing to work on her studies instead."
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Heh-heh-heh *click*
*POOF*
i39.tinypic.com/eqxjx3.png Hey, why are you clicking your fingers?
.............................
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Stupid joke, Discord.
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Nope, it is FABULOUS!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Anyway, moving to chapter 2.
This story by it's lenght is under "blitz" category, so we are going to look in detail only at first three chapters and then make an overview.
-------------------------------
"She defiantly was lying, he knew she wasn’t okay. She hadn’t ever since her parents had passed away, in fact that’s when they grew apart."
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png AGAIN! And WHY autors loves to kill her parents so much...
" “Ah, you’ve outdone yourself yet again mi amor.”
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Heh, Narcissus will be proud.
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Cauterium, we already have a supervillian. PLEASE go away.
i43.tinypic.com/14n0i1j.png Okay, okay! I wasnt intended to hang her for long anyway.
"It’s been rough at the farm ever since Applebloom left remember? "
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png ...What? Left where?
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png In dze land of dze dreams!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png What have you done with poor little filly, bastard?
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Unfortunately, nothing. I am just kidding. MWA-HA-HA-HA
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Uuuuuuuugh....
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png My Mary Sue sences are tingling!
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png On to the next one!
--------------------------------
"Twilight looked into his handsome face and instantly the fear of her dream left her. She wasn’t alone, she had him. She leaned up and met his lips, and the two embraced in a passionate kiss."
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png
WHAT?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png And they are tellin' that first meeting of Cauterium and Twilight in DoE was suddle
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Heh, it's all ME!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png What?
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png He is right, boss. Read chapter's title
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png BUT WHY DO YOU NEED IT?
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Spirit of CHAOS! Hello!
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png
"She had lost her parents that day… Both of them had contracted a disease and by the time she had arrived they were almost gone. She still remembered holding her mother’s hoof as she passed away, a light smile crossing her face as she looked upon her daughter.
i43.tinypic.com/14ux72x.png
"She grabbed a book that was labeled Poisons and Antidotes and quickly flipped to the desired page. "
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Where the hell did she got "poisons"?
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png I gave her!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Eh... Forget it...
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png What the f... what the f... WHAT THE FUCK, TWILIGHT? SINCE WHEN DID YOU BECAME A FRIGGING EMO?! Discord,..
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png No. Even i don't want her to die. This is stupid! Discord to the rescue! *poof*
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png He's gone...
"“Oh nothing you need to really worry about… Just a legally, spiritually and metaphysical binding contract, as you can see it’s very long, and extremely boring so I’ll save you the pain. You sign it and I give you your one wish,” He was now whispering in her ear. “The stallion of your dreams.”"
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png What the... I could SWEAR i havent seen him in that story when i first read it! He just integrated himself into that story!
How is that possible?
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png I don't know...
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png I cant believe it! He is rewriting the story as he want! Hey, what the hell is happening?
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Boss! Am i drunk? Why everything is blurring?
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Aaaaaah!!!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png Uuuuffff... I have enough dancing ballet with bufallos for my entire life...
i40.tinypic.com/2wptjee.png Boss, look's like we got out from Discord's twisted dimension.
i39.tinypic.com/35bxab6.png Finally! I am not six-legged warfish anymore!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png That was worst day of my life...
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Hi everypony! I am back!
i40.tinypic.com/bjbmvs.png YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!
---------------------------------------------------
Wild Discord appeared
Go, Sea Serpent!
i40.tinypic.com/2hcfhns.png MMmmmmmoustachee!!
Sea Serpent use Hydro Pump
It's not very effective...
Discord use "I win!"
It's super effective!
Sea Serpent fainted.
.....
Team is blacked out
--------------------------------------------------
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png Hm, now, when their miserable attempt of hurting me failed, let me make an Overview.
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png This story was interesting for me, well, untill Twilight randomly decided to Suicide. I decided to fix the story and i did so! Too bad i've been beaten again, but, oh well, at least i made Celestia hate Twilight at some point.
i39.tinypic.com/21mf4zk.png And i WILL RETURN! MWA-HA-HA-HA!!!
Oh my, that was a long comment...
You seem to be confusing "defiantly" with "definitely."