You were only supposed to take the bloody doors off!
Digging a tunnel is hard work.
Unlike digging holes, one must first find a suitable area to carry any displaced dirt, and must also set numerous support pillars along the length of the tunnel in order to avoid any collapses. There are multiple obstacles that one can run into, from rocks to wet patches, each of which should be dealt with in their own respective way. Sometimes, when it rains, the moisture will soak through the soil and flood the tunnel, which meant that any poor soul working on it would have to deal with back-breaking digging, cold waist deep water, and the very real possibility that the passage could cave in at any time and bury them alive. The average Diamond Dog must deal with each of these predicaments, all whilst in the claustrophobic and gloomy confines of the very tunnel they were trying to construct.
As aforementioned, digging a tunnel is hard work.
This was becoming painfully clear to Rover, who was currently clawing away pawfulls of dirt and sediment from a newly constructed tunnel. He panted laboriously as he tore his way through the soil, the only source of light in his dim little world being the weak glow of the lantern held by the Diamond Dog named Spot, who was leant leisurely against the side of the tunnel. He lazily turned towards Rover.
"Are we there yet?" he asked.
"For last time, no!" barked Rover. Spot had been parroting the same obnoxious question ever since they (by which he meant 'he') had started construction on the tunnel. If Spot wanted to finish off this tunnel so bad, why didn't he lend a helping paw? This was his idea, after all.
Fido shuffled in from behind them, heaped as much of the dirt Rover had left in his wake into his arms, and disappeared back from the way he came. Fido was responsible for excavating the soil that was dug through during tunnelling. He was big, brutish, flat-headed, and hardly ever spoke a word. Rover liked him. His silence was much more appeaseable than Spot's mind-numbing complaining.
Spot merely rolled his eyes and returned to his relaxation like the lazy mutt he was. Spot was undoubtedly the smallest of the trio. His head reached no higher than Rover's chest, and the width of his body was dwarfed by the likes of Fido. However, weak as he was in stature, he was by far the most intelligent of the three. Not only was Spot capable of both reading and writing (something that was beyond Rover) but he was also the reason why their pack was so largely successful in their kidnappings, robberies and heists. This scheme, however, would be Spot's 'Piece A-La Resistance' as he put it. Stupid Spot and his fancy-shmancy Prench words.
They'd started construction on the tunnel about a month ago, well outside the parameters of Ponyville. Their target was the Ponyville bank, which according to Spot was brimming with gems, gold and riches. It figured. Ponies had a nasty habit of putting their prettiest belongings behind locked doors, away from prying eyes and thieving paws. It made stealing them all the more difficult, as if their job wasn't hard enough already.
You see, digging tunnels to a specific location requires pinpoint precision, something that neither Spot, Rover or Fido had. Because of this, the trio had been forced to backtrack multiple times, which meant even more digging for Rover. Now Rover wasn't a lazy dog by any means, but there is only so much dirt a dog can dig through before he feels the need for a lunch break. Spot, however, had been very strict on that subject. Every moment Rover spent resting was another moment that they had to go without riches. So, apart from a couple of paltry five-minute breathers, Rover was digging more or less twenty-four-seven.
If this payoff wasn't what Spot had hyped it up to be, Rover swore that he would force him to dig a tunnel to the ends of the earth and ask him what he thought about being the workhorse for once.
"Stop!" barked Spot. "We should be under it by now."
Rover sighed in relief. Thank god. His sinewy arms throbbed with the ache that came with hard work and his breath rasped as he sucked in the air. There, his job was done. Now where the hell were his gems?
Spot rapped the tunnel's ceiling with his knuckles, producing a rocky *thunk*. He grinned. Concrete. This had to be the place. "Oh, this is almost too good!" he chuckled through his greedy grin.
Rover mimicked Spot by also tapping a knuckle against the concrete. He frowned. What as so special about this? It was a slab of grey rock!
"This is it?" he said, disappointed. "I dig tunnel for stupid, chalky rock?"
"No you idiot," growled Spot. "You dig tunnel to get to what's behind the 'stupid, chalky rock!'" He rolled his eyes. Rover may have been useful for manual work, but if there was anything between his ears, he certainly didn't use it.
"But..." Rover scrunched his brow in thought. "How do we get through chalky rock?" Spot rolled his eyes yet again, this time sighing for good measure. Rover didn't know why; it was a good question! Rock was hard, too hard for dog-claws. Why couldn't ponies just build on dirt?
"Fido!" called Spot. The lumbering giant of a dog was by his side almost instantly. "Give me boom-stick!"
Fido reached into the pocket of his scraggy vest and produced a slender, red stick, no longer than the length of his hand. He held it out to spot, who snatched it up greedily. He held it to Rover's nose, pointing at him with it as if it were some kind of wand.
"This is boom-sick!" he growled, shaking the red stick in his paw. "It blow hole in rock, and then we get pretty gems, understand?"
No. No he didn't.
"That stupid!" exclaimed Rover. "How can little stick make hole in hard rock?"
Spot gave him a quick bop on the nose with the stick before turning it around, revealing a small fuse. "We light fuse, and then boom! No more rock."
Rover examined the small red stick with a newfound curiosity. That thing exploded? He slowly reached for it, and to his surprise, Spot actually handed it to him. He ran a finger across its smooth, cylindrical surface. Whatever this exploding-stick-thing was made from, he didn't like it. It felt unnatural to the touch, like plastic.
"You set off boom-stick." said Spot suddenly.
What?! Oh no, Rover may not have been the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knew when someone was trying to give him the short straw. "No!" he spat fiercely, tossing the stick to Spot's feet. "It your plan, you do it!"
"Nu-uh, I thinker, you worker, you do it!" snapped Spot adamantly.
Rover crossed his arms and glared at the tiny dog. "No." he repeated stubbornly. "I dig tunnel, I set supports. I did my work-" he leaned in closer, his rotting breath clotting Spot's nose. "You do yours."
Although he'd never admit it, Spot was afraid of Rover. He was strong, not as strong as Fido, but his speed more than made up for that. Rover had the makings of a killing machine, and he didn't even realise it. If anything, that made him all the more dangerous.
Lucky for Spot, Rover didn't have the brains to back up his brawn. He needed Spot, and he knew it.
Spot 'hmph'ed before picking the explosive off of the floor and thrusting it back into Rover's arms. "You set off boom-stick, and you get bigger share."
That caught his attention. Rover's ears perked up at the mention of a bigger cut of the haul. Sure, magical explosives were dangerous and all, but hey, diamonds and gems were shiny! It was practically all the motivation he needed. He snatched the explosive out of Spot's paws. "Fine, I do it, but only if I get big share!
Spot smiled evilly. "Oh, you get big share, you get very big share." he handed a match to rover before bolting back towards the exit as fast as his legs would carry him. Fido followed in suit, leaving Rover all alone in the pitch black darkness.
"Hmph," huffed Rover striking the match upon his ragged shirt. "This better be a good haul."
He set the fuse alight, and the stick exploded in his paws.
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Dude! You should totally keep this up! This is the firsth fanfiction involvin Diamond Dogs as protagonist, you have no idea how much I've been waitning for it! You, sir, deserve a moustache
*Sees romance tag*
*named Spot
And now I'm reading that in the shrieking Golem voice that all Diamond Dogs have. That's something ask-the-diamond-dogs never pulled off for me.
Totally not the same boom-stick from Evil Dead III. I am disappoint.
Also I want some cover art for this. I NEEDS MY COVER ART!!!!
Eh, maybe I'll google some screenshots of Rover later.
3103918 Actually, I kind of got the idea from The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog. If you're looking for a great story with a Diamond Dog protagonist, I'd suggest you give it a try. It's a great fic
3104004 Thanks for commenting, and be wary on your search for Rover images. The internet is dark, and full of rule 34.
3104184>>3104004 And now I'm back.
Rover's profile pic:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130708223417/mlp/images/d/d8/DD_Rover_ID_S1E19.png
(source)
Rarity and Rover together in the caves:
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120930013429/mlp/images/thumb/f/f4/Rover_tells_Rarity_to_be_quiet_S1E19.png/640px-Rover_tells_Rarity_to_be_quiet_S1E19.png
(source)
Rarity getting a taste of doggy breath:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121001005212/mlp/images/thumb/3/3e/Rarity_smells_Rover%27s_bad_breath_S1E19.png/640px-Rarity_smells_Rover%27s_bad_breath_S1E19.png
(source)
Their first date:
derpicdn.net/img/2013/1/27/225135/full.png
(source)
A cutesy-wutesy comic starring them:
derpicdn.net/img/2013/7/30/386376/full.jpeg
(source)
The Rule 34 you warned me about, which is surprisingly well-drawn:
rule34-data-003.paheal.net/_images/a418e588d1b50f627e67dd4d03374351/1056712%20-%20My_Little_Pony%20Friendship_is_Magic%20comic%20Rarity%20insomniacovrlrd%20diamond_dog%20Rover.jpg
(source)
And now, their secret lovechild:
31.media.tumblr.com/66b2518dffe05c1b7f49b7df691087e1/tumblr_mrunjiMavf1so52kzo1_r2_500.png
(source)
Isn’t she fabio~?
3104195 Ohoho, such a selection!
And rule 34... Just... Yikes.
Thanks a bunch, this stuff is great. Cover art ahoy!
3104338
Forgot to source it, buddy.
3104338 [edit] Also, I decided to promote your fic!
3104417 *Gasp* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Thank you so much for the support! You're awesome, man.
Also, I'm loving The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine.
3104195 3104457i'm usualy a bit more suspicious of *promotes* as you put it meme-asaurus
but i haven't been dissapointed this seems like a nice beginning, we have the diamond dogs with clearly defined personalities and i like the way this is written. i'd would like to see more
and that roverXrarity love child looks amazing a perfect mix
*Sees characters and tags* Excuse me while I overreact.
Well, talk about having a short fuse there huh.
YES MOTHER FUCKING YES FINALLY EVEN MEME HAS SEEN THE AWESOMENESS OF MY, I MEAN THE DIAMOND DOGS!
Rovarity?
That works.
3105806
Sorry?
3106332
My OC is a diamond dog and seeing as one of my favorite authors on the site has used them in a fic is awesome so I got a little excited.
I love their dialogue
Ok, I'm interested now... Continue
Killing Floor reference chapter name = Fav.
3117315 Actually I was kinda thinking of The Italian Job
But hey, Killing Floor is awesome too
Dang...Poor Rover.
3119750
i.imgur.com/0g1Qb8n.jpg
I like this a lot, please update soon... pppllleeeeeaasssseeee????
3249376 I've got two thousand words at the ready now, so it shouldn't take too long for me to get another chapter up.
Mega cool!!!