Twilight and Rainbow soon make it back to Ponyville with no time to spare. They flew into the library.
“Ok you bring Derpy back to her body and I’m going to the morgue to start Applejack’s heart and to bring her back to life,” Twilight said.
“Great! Let’s get started,” Rainbow passed Applejack’s bottle to Twilight and flew toward to cloud
Derpy was sleeping on. Twilight trotted through the city streets unseen. Even if she was a ghost didn’t stop her from doing everything.
Rainbow flew to the cloud Derpy was sleeping on. Derpy’s body was sleeping soundly but was dreaming she was in the ghost world. Rainbow looked inside the bottle to find Derpy’s soul sleeping soundly.
Then she opens the bottle and Derpy’s soul flew out of the bottle and went back inside of her body. Rainbow Dash flew away. Derpy opened her eyes.
“That was all just a dream,” Derpy said looking up at Luna’s moon.
Derpy jumps off the cloud and went home. Rainbow decided to go see Twilight at the morgue. She flew into the distance.
Meanwhile, Twilight has just arrived at the morgue. There was a gate at the front. The sigh welcomed visitors saying “Welcome to the Ponyville Central Morgue. Visitors must check in before entering”.
Twilight jumps the gate. She went through the bushes, hoping that she will not be seen. She went up to the front door and hoped it wasn’t locked. It was locked, Twilight huffs.
“Wait, I’m a ghost. I forgot,” Twilight said with joy. She went through the door.
Looking around the morgue, Twilight found spirits, the Spirits were asleep. Twilight went into the air and floated around them. Not one pony woke up.
Twilight flouts into the walls looking from room to room. She didn’t know what room Applejack’s body was. Then once she reached room 17, there lied what she was looking for.
Applejacks body lied on a bed. Her body was cold as ice. Twilight went up the body and opened the book of spirits. Her horn lights up the room. She touched her horn to her chest. Applejack’s body glowed.
Twilight put her hoof on her chest to check if the spell worked. She feels a pulse. It was clear that she was alive, but in a coma.
Twilight opened the bottle to let out her soul. Her soul touches her body and then she was back to life.
Twilight smiled in joy. She wasn’t only happy because Applejack was alive, but her heart warmed. It might be a good thing that she is half dead.
Rainbow Dash came through the wall. “Twilight, did you get Applejack back?”
“I sure did. We did it. There was a way to bring ponies back from the dead,” Twilight said with a smile.
“Well, what do you want to do now?” Rainbow asked.
“I want to go home. I think we have done enough stuff today after what we went through,” Twilight replied.
“No, please don’t go,” said a voice. Twilight and Rainbow stop for a second.
“What was that?” Twilight asked in fear. “I knew this place was haunted and I know why since we can see spirits but who’s speaking to us? I thought they were asleep.”
Rainbow Dash never really reacted to the voice. She turned away from Applejacks body. Then she was looking at a pony. She jumps back surprised. Twilight looked to find out why she was yelling. Twilight went up to the ghost, “Um… hi.”
The ghost had a light yellow mane and a light blue body. She also had a sword with angel wings on it. She looked curiously at the two ponies.
“Um, well you both were just here and I just woke up from my peaceful slumber,” The ghost pony yawned.
“Who are you exactly?” Rainbow asked giving the ghost the glare.
“I’m sorry I never introduced myself. My name it Jester. I actually see you to every week. But you ponies couldn’t see me. Now since I heard the Gateway Ponies are back, you can see me now,” Jester explained.
“Well, I wish we had time to talk, but we can’t stay here,” Twilight claimed, “I have to go check on Spike.”
“But I need your help,” Jester said.
“We can help you tomorrow,” Rainbow Dash yawned.
“Fine then, don’t help me,” Jester huffed in anger. Twilight and Rainbow looked at each other.
They both felt guilty. They didn’t want to help but at the same time, they want to. Then Twilight cracked.
“Fine, we will help you,” Twilight sighed.
“Thank you,” Jester said happily.
“What’s the trouble?” Rainbow asked.
“Once I died, I had a deal with the grim reaper that I wouldn’t stay in the underworld but I had a limit. I’m not supposed to got farther than the Everfree Forest and Dragon Mountain. I was ok with that until I heard that there was such thing as the Crystals Empire. I wanted to go there so badly so I went back to the grim reaper to expand my traveling limits. But he said no. All I want you two to find out a way to get me up there,” Jester explained.
“What happens when you cross the Evertree?” Twilight asked.
“Then I go to the underworld for an eternity,” Jester answered. “Please, you gotta help me.”
“We will, we just need to find out how we are going to do this,” Rainbow said.
Twilight and Rainbow start thinking about the situation.
Meanwhile, in another part of Ponyville.
We join two of the town’s richest fillies. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are having a sleepover. Even if there one of riches, they are also one of the meanest ponies in town.
Diamond Tiara is right now trying new dress Silver Spoon got her.
“I love this dress, it’s comfortable,” Diamond said, enjoying the comfort.
“I got it from Canterlot. It was on sale for 5 bits,” Silver said.
“Thanks for the dress,” Diamond takes the dress off.
Darkness covers the room. The lights go out. Everything goes silent. Both ponies start shaking.
“What’s going on?” Diamond asked.
“I don’t know. I’m scared,” Silver admitted.
“Well you're about to find out. Welcome to end of the road,” a voice said.
Grim appeared right in front of them. “I’m sorry to end your life so early.”
“Who are you? Are you a ghost?” Diamond asked.
“My name is Grim Reaper and I am a ghost. I’m the ghost that can end your life,” Grim said with a smile.
“What are you going to do to us?” Silver asked.
The clock strikes 12. Grim throws bag at the two ponies. Once the bag hits there head there body flew into the wall. Their souls remained in the same spots their bodies where.
“What did you do to us?” Diamond asked looking at herself.
“Welcome to the ghost world?” Grim opens a bottle and suck their souls inside. “This will make up for the souls I lost because of the gateway ponies.”
Grim laughs and flew into the air. Diamond and Silver scream for help but no pony could hear them. They are both going to the underworld.
Again compound sentences, didn't see a single and or but in there
Have you got an editor yet?
2198354 I have one but I never asked for help
I edited the first quarter of this chapter for you, it should be... Better. Try writing the rest of the chapter with this example. (if you can)
You really need this story editing mate, a few compound sentences would make all the difference
Hate to say it but it couldn't have happened to 2 worse ponnies
2198707 Oh yeah thanks for reminding me I have to put something in the authors notes. Somepony on Fan Fiction.net gave me that Idea in the comments
2201245 I have one and I'm starting to work with Nonagon with it
2201716 Well that sounds like some good news. Can't wait to read the edited version, this is going on my 'read later' for now.
I noticed a lot of grammer issues ( hope that was spelled right ) good on ya mate ( used regardless of gender and I'm not an Aussie I just like to say it that way) for killing Diamond and Spoon. How will the CMC react I wonder. How will their families react. And how will Twi and RD react. Cant wait to see AJ and RD interact after AJ wakes up. I don't consider myself an grammar Nazi but ive read too many books and mangaand fan fics to not notice these mistakes. U use a lot of past tense instead of present tense. Biggest example is at the morgue. AJ lay or lays not lied. I suggest an editor. But choice is Ur's. No pressure. Keep up the good work.
2215567 I came up with something to fix that problem so thanks for pointing that out
This type of magic is called "Necromancy". Necromancy is a black magic, and the dark arts are HIGHLY illegal. Twilight is now officially a high ranked criminal.
Death is NOT allowed to directly interfere in the matters of the living mortals. Regardless if DT and SS deserved it, Death is not allowed to actually kill any living beings until the universe decides their time is up. Really, all the Grim Reaper does is free the souls from their non-functioning bodies and help send them on to the next life. Murdering living beings before their time is a BIG no-no, especially young ones. Plus, there is a large number of unclaimed souls randomly floating around. He could very easily just grab a few of them.