A rich man with a new life

by applejack2357

The first day

I woke up with a beam of light in my face. I stretched and yawned, then turned over, pulling the covers over my head. Wait, covers? I pulled them off then saw I was in Twilight’s bed again. I sighed as I got out of bed. I put my clothes on, and then started looking around the room. I saw nopony there. Looking at the clock, it was ten thirty, so I guessed everyone was up already. I walked down the stairs and was engulfed by the smell of eggs, and where there are eggs, there’s bacon. I walked into the kitchen to see Spike and Twilight. Spike was at the stove, and Twilight was setting up the table for three. Looking back into the main room, I saw nopony there, so I guessed they all left already. I could already tell this was going to be a great breakfast.

“Hey, Arjay! I was just about to come get you!” Twilight said with a smile, “Spike is a great cook, so you won’t be disappointed.”

“This smells great! I can’t wait,” I said, “But I’m a little confused at how I got into your bed."

Twilight didn’t say anything. All she did was tap on her horn twice.

“Oh. Right…” I felt very stupid for asking that question. How could I have forgotten that Twilight is one of the most skilled ponies when it comes to magic? Feeling slightly embarrassed, I sat down on of the pillows set up at the table

Spike then takes the pan he was cooking with and puts its contents on a plate that Twilight had to get for him, considering he was too short, then put it on the table. At first, I thought it was bacon, but it wasn’t. It kind of looked like hash browns shaped into a giant egg, but it didn’t smell like it.

“Um, what is this, exactly?” I asked, morally confused.

“Oh, don’t worry if you don’t know what it is.” Spike said reassuringly, “It’s just something I made up. I’ve been making it for quite a while now. It’s almost perfected.”

“You know, you are actually the first other pony to try it, Arjay.” Twilight said, “Spike, you should listen to what he has to say about it.”

At this point, I was nervous. Spike wanted me to try something he created, and that is all fine and well, but now, I have to give him a verdict on what I thought of it. I had a feeling in the pit of my gut this would not end well.

“Well, could you at least tell me what it is, what it’s made of, you know. The details?” I said with a nervous smile.

“Ok.” Spike said. “I call it the dragon egg. The outside is a mixture of hay, grass, and alfalfa, and stuffed inside is a few dozen eggs. Some secret seasoning here and there, cook the eggs while I mold the outside, then put the eggs inside and cook it whole, like so. Interesting is it not?”

“Yyyeah. Very interesting” I said slowly. I may be a horse, but even the sandwhiches me and Pinkie made didn’t go so well. I mean, they tasted great, but they didn’t stay down… I almost didn’t keep it from Pinkie, which would have upset her if she saw me throw up. She may have thought she did something wrong, which she didn’t. It was just my stomach.

Spike looked at me with a big smile, waiting for me to respond. I smiled back.

“I… can’t wait to try it.”

“Great! Let me give you some. You’ve been out for almost twelve hours. At that thought of me being asleep for twelve hours, my stomach roared loudly. I felt very embarrassed.

“Guess you need more than some!” Spike said chuckling. He took a knife out of a drawer and cut it thickly, then put a piece of it on my plate, then did the same for himself and Twilight. The dish reminded me of eggs in a nest, but instead of bread, it was… well, horse feed. I expected them to start eating but Spike insisted I take the first bite.

“I want to know what he thinks.” He said.

“He doesn’t have to take the first bite, though. You are making him nervous, Spike.” Twilight said.

“No, it’s fine, Twilight. I don’t mind.” Why the hell did I say that?!

“Well, ok. Go ahead then. Using my hoof, I picked up a fork, which is harder than these ponies make it look, then cut a piece and took a bite. Immediately my mouth was bursting with flavor, like you were hit by a semi-truck, but not in a deadly sort of way. It tasted exactly like eggs in a nest, except… something he put in it made it ten times better.

“It’s… it’s amazing!” I said, swallowing the bite I took, “This has got to be one of the best things I have ever eaten. Thanks Spike.”

“I’m glad you like it! I may have a chance, Twilight!” Spike said, excited.

“A chance at what?” I asked Twilight.

“Well, Spike has this dream of selling his recipe to Stacks o’ Hay in town here. Considering how good it is, I think he does have a chance.” Twilight said.

“How interesting…”

As we ate the rest of breakfast, we talked about last night. Though I didn’t really want to talk about it, they wanted to tell me what happened during the surgery, down to the last detail. Every last detail. I didn’t think this was the kind of thing to talk about at breakfast, but I guess I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Eventually, we all finished breakfast, and I helped Spike clean up. I watched him as he put his recipe sheet away…

After cleaning up, I decided to go check out the town. Before I left, though, I grabbed my music and headphones, and turned them on. After a while, I started to feel sick to my stomach again, so I started searching franticly for a garbage can. Eventually, I found one. I bumped into a few ponies, quickly apologized, and then ran for the can. I took my headphones off, stuck my head in the can and puked. It smelled exactly like it did in the kitchen… so gross. Don’t know if I’ll be able to eat Spike’s meal again.

“Are you ok?”

Are you fucking kidding me?! Can’t a guy puke in piece? I look up to see Rainbow Dash.

“Why are you standing there, exactly?” I said.

“Well, I was walking down here, and you jumped right in front of me and started puking. I was just asking if you were ok.” She said.

“Yeah, I’m ok.” I got out of the can, wiped my face off, and looked at her. After realizing it was me, she smiled.

“Hey! It’s nice to know you are ok.”

“Thanks. I w-“ We were interrupted by my music. It just so happened to be a pony song, more specifically, Winter Wrap-Up. I turned it off as fast as I could. She was looking at my MP3 player.

“What is that?” She asked, pointing at my MP3 player.

“Oh, this? It’s an MP3 player. You can put music on it and listen to it anywhere.” I said. She was fascinated by it, looking at it like she was mesmerized.

“Do you think…?” She started, “No, never mind.”

“What?” I asked.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“Come on, Rainbow, spit it out.”

She looked at me for a second. “Do you think I could try them? I’ve never seen anything like it.”

I looked at my device then looked at her. She was smiling. I don’t know if I could have said no. I deleted everything that had to do with ponies on it, and then handed it to her. She looked at me.

“Be careful with them, and bring them back to Twilight’s tree house when you’re done.” I said. She nodded. After showing her how to use them, I carefully put the headphones on over her ears, and then put on Through the Fire and the Flames. I could tell she thought this song was strange. She just sat there listening. However, after a minute, she was rocking out to it.

I tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. She looked at me, and I spoke.

“You have fun now, ok?”

“What?” I took the headphones off one ear.

“I said, you have fun now, ok?”

“Got it.” She put it back on and flew off. I knew she already like the fact that you couldn’t hear anything else when you have them on, and that it was going to cause problems, but I’ll worry about them when they happen. I walked around a little more, and then started walking towards Sweet Apple Acres. It took a while to find it, but I did eventually, and saw Applejack resting by the barn. I walked up to her, and she tilted her hat up to look at me.

“Howdy, partner. Glad you’re ok. What brings you here?” She said.

“I wanted to apologize. We got off on the wrong hoof.” It felt weird to say that, but hey, it was true.

“It’s no problem, sugarcube. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks. Hey, would you happen to need any help? I need to find some kind of work, repay Twilight in some way for being so hospitable.”

“Well, don’t you think you are rushing things? You just had surgery there last night.”

“Oh, yeah… Right…”

“Why don’t you come back later when you’ve healed a little more, then maybe I’ll reconsider” She winked at me.

“Alright. Well, thanks anyways.” I then started to head towards Twilight’s tree house. It was starting to get late. When I got back, Rainbow happened to be there in the main room listening to music, and Spike and Twilight were in the kitchen making dinner. When Rainbow saw me, she took the headphones off and smiled at me.

“These are so awesome! I’ve gotta do this again tomorrow.” She said, kicking at the air. Luckily, I carry my charger with me everywhere I go, so I do have it. It’s just the matter of finding a power outlet…

“Yeah, sure.” She handed it back to me and was about to leave, when Twilight stopped her.

“Aren’t you gonna stay for dinner? Spike makes some mean hay and daffodil sandwiches.”

“Eh, what the hay.” She said, walking towards the kitchen. I followed after and sat at the table. As we ate, everyone started talking about their day. Twilight talked about this book she was reading, which she said was about myths and legends. She said she just started the ‘H’ section. Spike said he didn’t really do anything except what he was told. Poor guy. Rainbow went on about this trick she created and succeeded at doing, thanks to me and the music. I told her I would like to see it tomorrow, and she agreed to show me. I told everyone that I explored the town, considering I was new here and didn’t really know where anything was. Twilight offered to give me a tour tomorrow, and I agreed.

“I want to see Rainbow’s trick first” I say, looking over at her. Twilight smiled.

“Me too. So, it’s settled then.” Twilight said. She quickly drew up a planner for tomorrow and put it on her fridge. She was ready for tomorrow.

After helping Spike clean up, we said goodbye to Rainbow then went upstairs. Spike fell asleep instantly; he is very young, though, so I don’t blame him. Twilight and I stayed up a little longer, though, just talking about random shit. At first we were talking about science, and then we ended up talking about races, animals, then finally the pinkie sense. It was strange, though, but memorable, considering I did this with my younger brother almost every night. We eventually talked ourselves to sleep at around two o’ clock in the morning, ready to have more fun tomorrow.

Author's Note:

This chapter will bring the final verdict of this story. Based on what everyone thinks of it will decide whether I continue it or not. Please post your comments!

Comments

[bookwormbrony]

LOVE IT, for the love of Celestia, please continue this story!

please

[moviemaster8510]

Chapter 6

I woke up with a beam of light in my face. I stretched and yawned, then turned over, pulling the covers over my head. Wait, covers? I pulled them off then saw I was in Twilight’s bed again. I sighed as I got out of bed. I put my clothes on, and then started looking around the room. I saw nopony there. Looking at the clock, it was ten thirty, so I guessed everyone was up already. I walked down the stairs and was engulfed by the smell of eggs, and where there are eggs,

there’s bacon.

Um, you do know you're in a world of ponies, as vegetarian ponies, right? I hope this is your character having a hankering for bacon. Otherwise, I'm going to start fearing for my sanity.

I walked into the kitchen to see Spike and Twilight. Spike was at the stove, and Twilight was setting up the table for three. Looking back into the main room, I saw nopony there, so I guessed they all left already. I could already tell this was going to be a great breakfast.

Not sure why you adopted the pony lingo right now, but okay.

“This smells great! I can’t wait,” I said, “But I’m a little confused at how I got into your bed."

Twilight didn’t say anything. All she did was tap on her horn twice.

“Oh. Right…” I felt very stupid for asking that question. How could I have forgotten that Twilight is one of the most skilled ponies when it comes to magic?

Come one, come all! Watch as the great and powerful Twilight lifts an average sized pony a foot off the floor and into a bed! Stay seated, for her next act will be tossing a beach ball over a net!

Spike then takes the pan he was cooking with and puts its contents on a plate that Twilight had to get for him, considering he was too short, then put it on the table. At first, I thought it was bacon, but it wasn’t. It kind of looked like hash browns shaped into a giant egg, but it didn’t smell like it.

“Um, what is this, exactly?” I asked, morally confused.

I don't think that's a case of "moral confusion" as much as it is just being disgusted over burnt eggs.

“Oh, don’t worry if you don’t know what it is.” Spike said reassuringly, “It’s just something I made up. I’ve been making it for quite a while now. It’s almost perfected.”

“You know, you are actually the first other pony to try it, Arjay.” Twilight said, “Spike, you should listen to what he has to say about it.”

So, there are two possible scenarios for this:

1. Spike, although only knowing RJ over the course of a couple of minute, trusts him enough to let him be the first taste tester for his breakfast creation.
2. Twilight is allowing RJ to eat food that she has never eaten before, which usually means that she's to nervous to eat it, so she forces it on RJ.

Either one is not favorable to this story, as for one, your character is getting special treatment from the other characters that that more than likely would do things for their older friends first. Or, it's bad because it makes Twilight look kind of evil.

“Ok.” Spike said. “I call it the dragon egg. The outside is a mixture of hay, grass, and alfalfa, and stuffed inside is a few dozen eggs. Some secret seasoning here and there, cook the eggs while I mold the outside, then put the eggs inside and cook it whole, like so. Interesting is it not?”

Oh, it's not burned eggs as much as it is a plant and egg version of a birds nest.

“Yyyeah. Very interesting” I said slowly. I may be a horse, but even the sandwiches me and Pinkie made didn’t go so well. I mean, they tasted great, but they didn’t stay down… I almost didn’t keep it from Pinkie, which would have upset her if she saw me throw up. She may have thought she did something wrong, which she didn’t. It was just my stomach.

I'm not exactly sure how that works either. If you think the sandwiches tasted good, that's no problem. You're a pony now, so you should be able to stomach plants that a human wouldn't normally eat. This conflict of yours doesn't make much sense.

I expected them to start eating but Spike insisted I take the first bite.

Yes, stranger that I've only really gotten to meet for a few minutes, I'd prefer you to take the first bite of one of my finest culinary creations as opposed to one of my best friends who had raised me since birth.

Do not give your character special treatment like this. It screams Mary-Sue.

Immediately my mouth was bursting with flavor, like you were hit by a semi-truck, but not in a deadly sort of way. It tasted exactly like eggs in a nest, except… something he put in it made it ten times better.

I know you're trying to be descriptive, but that was a terrible description. Flavor should not be compared with excruciating pain or death. Do you think that description would have been good for a massage? Then it shouldn't work for the flavors of food.

As we ate the rest of breakfast, we talked about last night. Though I didn’t really want to talk about it, they wanted to tell me what happened during the surgery, down to the last detail. Every last detail. I didn’t think this was the kind of thing to talk about at breakfast, but I guess I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Eventually, we all finished breakfast, and I helped Spike clean up. I watched him as he put his recipe sheet away…

You know, I'm still looking for a reason as to why RJ has become a loathesome asshole to this supposed sweetheart.

After realizing it was me, she smiled.

Oh, it's RJ, that one guy that I almost killed that I hardly know. I'm going to smile at him as if we were old chums.

We were interrupted by my music. It just so happened to be a pony song, more specifically, Winter Wrap-Up. I turned it off as fast as I could.

You do remember how much serious shit you got in for revealing that you knew who the MLP character's were? Speaking of, is Applejack still freaked out that you knew her name before you even met? I know that would fuck up your fantasy of getting with the Mane 6, but you shouldn't have brought it up if you were just going to drop it.

“Do you think…?” She started, “No, never mind.”

“What?” I asked.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“Come on, Rainbow, spit it out.”

She looked at me for a second. “Do you think I could try them? I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Well, that wasn't a pointless conflict.

I looked at my device then looked at her. She was smiling. I don’t know if I could have said no. I deleted everything that had to do with ponies on it, and then handed it to her. She looked at me.

Huh? You can't delete songs straight off the MP3 player. Even if you could, having to find all of those songs to delete them would take a long time. Wouldn't Rainbow Dash seeing you fidget around with it for a long time cause some suspicion? Oh, who am I kidding? Nothing is suspicious about RJ, because he is just so gosh-darn perfect!

Heh...

“Be careful with them, and bring them back to Twilight’s tree house when you’re done.” I said. She nodded. After showing her how to use them, I carefully put the headphones on over her ears, and then put on Through the Fire and the Flames. I could tell she thought this song was strange. She just sat there listening. However, after a minute, she was rocking out to it.

TTFAF? How original...

Not to mention, she's wearing an alien device that none of these ponies have ever seen before. And with ponies like these in the town...

images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120929220158/mlp/images/thumb/2/2b/Flower_ponies_S2E06.PNG/640px-Flower_ponies_S2E06.PNG

...do you really think that's going to go over well with any of them?

She put it back on and flew off. I knew she already like the fact that you couldn’t hear anything else when you have them on, and that it was going to cause problems, but I’ll worry about them when they happen.

You mean like cause her to not pay attention to her surroundings and possibly kill another pony? Because you didn't explain how careful she needed to be with them? There's the RJ I know and despise!

I walked around a little more, and then started walking towards Sweet Apple Acres. It took a while to find it, but I did eventually, and saw Applejack resting by the barn. I walked up to her, and she tilted her hat up to look at me.

Wow. Just wow. I know your story is bereft of descriptions, but Jesus. An experienced writer would have taken at LEAST a page on a word processor to describe the journey to Sweet Apple Acres. Do you have any idea how boring it is to read things like, "I decided to go to Sweet Apple Acres and then I was there?"

“I wanted to apologize. We got off on the wrong hoof.” It felt weird to say that, but hey, it was true.

“It’s no problem, sugarcube. Don’t worry about it.”

I said SPARINGLY, dammit! And sure, I'm totally cool with the fact that you're a total stranger who knows who my name despite us never meeting. What was the point of RJ being a brony again?

“Thanks. Hey, would you happen to need any help? I need to find some kind of work, repay Twilight in some way for being so hospitable.”

I know, why don't you give her a dollar? That's like, one hundred bits!

“Well, don’t you think you are rushing things? You just had surgery there last night.”

...wat?

“Alright. Well, thanks anyways.” I then started to head towards Twilight’s tree house. It was starting to get late. When I got back, Rainbow happened to be there in the main room listening to music, and Spike and Twilight were in the kitchen making dinner. When Rainbow saw me, she took the headphones off and smiled at me.

What? So you had breakfast, gave Rainbow Dash your MP3 player, went to Sweet Apple Acres, and now it's already late in the day? Why is your pacing such crap? Did pacing murder your family? Did pacing give RJ's parents leukemia?

“These are so awesome! I’ve gotta do this again tomorrow.” She said, kicking at the air. Luckily, I carry my charger with me everywhere I go, so I do have it. It’s just the matter of finding a power outlet…

Considering that Equestria doesn't use electricity, your chances of finding one are going to be in the ballpark of fat-fucking-chance to never going to happen.

As we ate, everyone started talking about their day. Twilight talked about this book she was reading, which she said was about myths and legends. She said she just started the ‘H’ section. Spike said he didn’t really do anything except what he was told. Poor guy.

Is it possible for you to, oh, I don't know, SHOW THESE GODDAMNED PONIES HAVING CONVERSATIONS? I mean, my god, I'm surprised that you didn't write ALL of your dialogue like this.

"Twilight talked about this, and Spike talked about that?"

Why not actually have Twilight talk about this and have Spike talk about that? It makes it SO much more interesting for the reader!

I told everyone that I explored the town, considering I was new here and didn’t really know where anything was. Twilight offered to give me a tour tomorrow, and I agreed.

And if by "explored" the town, you mean went to Sweet Apple Acres, then yes, you explored the SHIT out of that town.

Twilight and I stayed up a little longer, though, just talking about random shit.

None of which that I, the writer, could be bothered to write about.

It was strange, though, but memorable.

I can't say I agree.

...considering I did this with my younger brother almost every night.

Wait, now you have a brother?This is not how you introduce your family. You can't just throw random members in when you think it would prove useful to you in the story. I mean, what am I supposed to think of this brother?

Oh, he had a brother. How sad?

I don't know about this brother, so my emotional investment in this spur-of-the-moment character is zilch.

We eventually talked ourselves to sleep at around two o’ clock in the morning, ready to have more fun tomorrow.

It's ironic how this chapter has the most words of all your chapters, but has arguably the least going on inside of it. But apparently, the next chapter is supposed to have a major cliffhanger. I hope it doesn't dissapoint.