• Published 16th May 2013
  • 3,628 Views, 133 Comments

I DisPiez U - TheTalentlessPony

After a little chaos, Discord's free to wreak havoc once again; but this time, he intends to be safe about it. And what safer place than the home of the one who freed him in the first place, who also happens to be one of the Elements? ...Oh...

  • ...


Discord huffed as he stared out of Pinkie Pie's bedroom window. How pathetic. There he was, the spirit of chaos... and he was pouting over a pink pony. Granted, it was one of the Elements of Harmony, but that just infuriated him more.

Idly tapping on the popcorn-covered window frame, he then searched his mind once again for answers. She was the Element of Laughter. He was supposed to be one step ahead of her; of all the Elements.

Yet, here he was, contemplating over what had just occurred. She had treated him normally... acted as if he wasn't who he was...

Everyone wants a friend, Cordie. Even if they don't know it. If you never have a friend, you'll just... never know what you're missing.

At first, he had been confused... then surprised... then annoyed. Annoyed by his lack of knowledge. Discord considered himself to be perfect. Always handsome. Always alert. Always knowing.

But he didn't know her. He didn't know Pinkie Pie. One of the only ponies he had to know well, and he failed to understand why she did what she did.

The way she smiled at him. The way she touched her nose to his. The way she called him 'Cordie'.

And how long had she called him that anyway? Discord wasn't sure. He failed to remember a time like it before he had been imprisoned for the second time.

"Cordie..." he muttered, letting the name roll off of his tongue as he pondered its meaning. He questioned if it was one of those nickname things he had heard off. He knew that Pinkie Pie affectionately called that blue pony 'Dashie'... was this the same thing?

Affectionately... stemming from the word 'affection'?

Discord huffed. That was ridiculous.

An Element of Harmony, being affectionate towards the spirit of chaos? He almost scoffed at the idea.


He repeated her words to himself once more. She had hugged him as she said them. Hugged... him...

Discord furrowed his brow at the memory. It was only for a second; a split second.

But it was something that he couldn't forget.

For that split second, he had felt... warmth? Her body had lit him up like a furnace, her hooves affectionately gripping him so he couldn't move from her hold unless he had teleported away. Why hadn't he? He couldn't recall a reason.

Yet, still... he had felt something. He failed to find the word to describe it, but he found himself disgusted by whatever feeling it was nonetheless.

You can't copy the love we put into making those cupcakes. Silly Cordie~


Discord quickly snapped up a table and flipped it, infuriating by the word.

Feelings. He wasn't supposed to have them.

He had always told himself not to feel anything but the joy of causing chaos.

Had she caused him to feel?

He looked outside to the ponies walking around. None bothered to stare up at him, and he felt unusually grateful for it.

He then noticed a flower between two buildings. Nothing special about it; just a flower. He grinned; forcefully, but still a grin. He could easily turn that flower into a manticore if he wanted to. Or maybe just a rabid bird. Yes, yes... it wouldn't look out of the ordinary at all. He could caused chaos and nopony would ever know!

He raised his eagle claw... but stopped, instead slamming it against the popcorn-frame.

He didn't feel like snapping. He didn't feel like causing chaos.

Taking a handful of the cotton-candy floor, he gluttonously shoved it into his mouth.

None of it made sense at all.

"Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?"

He had said that. He. Himself. The draconequus, Discord! Spirit of chaos and disharmony!

But he wanted some sense in all of this. He wanted... no... needed to know.

He squinted at the crowd of ponies. The only chaos and disharmony he was causing was within himself.


Discord jerked his head towards the source of the voice in an instant, intending to glare at the one who had caused him so much confusion.

However... he quickly found that he couldn't.

Pinkie Pie bounded in, looking cheerful as ever. Discord expected her to be angry at him for leaving her to take all blame, but no.


She was still happy. Still cheerful. Still smiling.

"I'm SO glad you're still here! I thought you had gone up and left me!" she exclaimed, her aura as bubbly as ever. If Discord had been focusing more, he would've noticed how her cheeks were slightly more pink than usual.

"Ah, yes... Pinkie Pie," he said, shooting her an evil grin, despite how forced it was. "So, how did it go? I bet the Cakes were so frustrated with all that we did!"

"Oh, absolutely!" Pinkie Pie replied. Again, Discord deadpanned, confused. "What."

"They told me that I had to pay for all the damages and stuff, but that's okay!" she told him. "I still have a few bits left to take you out!"


"Don't worry though! You got that shape-shifty power, right? You can just be a pony like everypony else Mister Soon-To-Be-A-Pony! ...Eheh, wow! I said pony a lot right there!"

"What." Discord repeated once more, blinking obliviously as he tried to fathom the enigma that was Pinkie Pie.

Speaking of, she stared at him and frowned, getting up on her hind legs and putting her hooves to her hips. "Do I gotta explain everything to ya?" she asked.

Jumping onto him, she pouted cutely and tugged at his cheeks. "I could tell~ You're being a grump. And grumps aren't any fun!"

"I'm a ton of fun!" Discord shouted in retort. After a moment though, he paused. Confound it all! This pink pony had him talking like a child!

"Anyway~ I figured that I could ungrump you by taking you somewhere nice!" Pinkie Pie added.

"Where?" he questioned.

"It's a surprise, silly!" she responded, jumping back down and directing her hoof at him. "Now! Show me your best pony!" she said, in an adorably demanding tone.

Discord put a hand to his beard, taking a moment to examine her expression. "Is that a challenge?"

Pinkie Pie shot him a grin, almost imitating his devilish one. "You bet~!"

He smirked a bit, then snapped his fingers, a puff of smoke once again circling the room.

"Oooo~" She watched closely as the smoke began to take shape until it was that of a pony. It disappeared afterwards.

"Wow, Cordie~ You look-"

"Amazing. I know." The ever-so-humble Discord said.

There he was, disguised as a gray earth pony with burning red eyes. His hooves were colored black, while his mane and tail were white as snow.

Studying him closely at first, Pinkie Pie then smiled a bit. "You're an earth pony."

"And?" Discord asked, looking at her skeptically.

She just smirked. "Nothing!" She then opened up the window and hopped down to the grass, with Discord following closely behind.

"Hiya everypony!"

"HIYA PINKIE PIE!" Discord cringed slightly from the loudness of the crowd.

"Daily greeting to random crowd in Ponyville: check," Pinkie Pie said to herself. Though she got a look from him, she still smiled at Discord and encouraged him to follow as she cheerfully trotted onwards.

He studied her as she walked. Her hooves lifted off the ground so daintily that she might as well have been walking on air. He swiftly looked away and try to ignore such pointless thinking though.


"This is it?" Discord questioned, looking up at what appeared to be an ice cream shop.

"Yep! Follow me!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, leaping inside excitedly. He was hesitant, but followed anyway.

"Hey, Pinkie Pie!" the pony at the counter greeted. "Snuck out of your place to get a sugar-rush elsewhere?"

"You bet!"

"Haha~ I see!" the pony smiled for a moment, then looked over to Discord, who stared back skeptically. That pony wasn't looking at his face; what was she gawking at?

"...S-so!" Drawing her gaze away from Discord, the pony at the counter glanced over at Pinkie Pie instead. "You here for two sundaes then?"

"Nnnnope~!" Pinkie Pie sing-songed. "I don't have the bits. Just give us a suuuper big one! I think I could pay for that," she explained.

"Heh. You got it." After taking the last of Pinkie Pie's bits, the pony got to work and prepared the shop's famous 'JumboDae'.

Discord then sat at the table as Pinkie Pie brought over the sundae; two straws stuck out of each side.

"How do you slurp ice cream?" one of the ponies nearby asked with a raised brow, eyeing the straws.

"Quickly," Pinkie Pie replied with a grin, promptly putting her mouth to her straw. Giving a small, but loud slurp, she gulped down a bit of ice cream.

Discord stared for a moment, taking in the sight of the gigantic ice cream-filled bowl, then just smirked.

He took a longer and louder slurp.

His opponent quickly caught onto his game.

The two leaned forward, front hooves on the somewhat-rickety table as they attempted to best each other in gulping down the sundae. Two ponies. One sundae. No prize... except great satisfaction.

Discord wasn't planning on winning fairly though. Inches away from Pinkie Pie, he made sure that she was looking before crossing his eyes.

She tried not to snicker at it. She really did. But Pinkie Pie was Pinkie Pie, and she leaned forward even more as she let out her loud and cheerful laughter.

That's when it happened.

The sudden change in balance made the table shift greatly, tilting back Pinkie Pie's way and forcing Discord over it. The sundae fell and crashed to the ground, as did the two challengers.



"...Wow, Cordie! That was so awesome! Let's do it-ah..." Pinkie Pie suddenly took a strangely soft breath of air as she stared at Discord, who laid on top of her. They were inches away from each other, which had only happened a few times before.

This time was different though... somehow...

Discord tried to speak and ask her why she was staring at him like she was, yet he found that he couldn't.

Seeing her expression... was he staring at her in the same way? He didn't know.

Pinkie Pie wasn't sure what she was seeing in Discord's gaze, but it confused her. She had never been speechless in her whole pony life! Why now? Why was her face heating up? Why...

"...uh..." she managed to utter.

In a quick motion, she stood up and backed away from him, looking...concerned?

"Hey, Pinkie Pie. You alright?" one of the ponies asked.

"...Y-yeah!" she replied. "Of course!" Suddenly, she found herself speaking quicker as she turned towards the exit. "H-hey-would-you-mind-watching-Cordie-for-a-few-minutes? Yeah? Thanks-bye!"

Discord merely sat on the floor, confused as he watched her run off.

Sheesh. She's more confusing than I am...

"U-uh... hey... Cordie, was it?" the pony from behind the counter asked.

He scowled at her for her mention of the nickname 'Cordie'. He wasn't sure why, but it sounded wrong coming from another pony.

"U-um..." she tilted her head, then directed her hoof towards his lower body. "So... I gotta know... how come you don't have a cutie mark?"

Discord raised a brow, then simply huffed at her and stood proudly. "Of course I have a cutie mark. It's-" He paused as he turned his head, staring down at his blank flank. "...chaos?"

Great confusion and irritation rising within him, he turned around and looked at all the ponies; unknowingly wearing red cheeks from the earlier event. He was sick of not knowing.

"Alright, one of you tell me; what just happened and where is my 'cutie mark'!?

Panting and galloping as fast as she could, Pinkie Pie raced down the road that led out of Ponyville. She then jumped into a hollow tree and rummaged around, looking for something... something she needed.

Her cheeks had heated up, and she had felt so confused all of a sudden. She had never felt so... uncomfortable around a pony before. Granted, Discord wasn't a pony, but... it was just too different for her to ignore. She had to figure it out, and she intended on doing that by finding the smartest pony she knew.

Emerging from the tree with balloons strapped to her waist, she charged forward for a moment before taking off like a graceful pegasus.


Author's Note:

I hope I did this chapter well enough for you guys. . w . I'm not too confident in it myself...

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