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A Simple Life (Revised)1,695 words
Well...This is Strange2,684 words
My Dreams Betray Me3,537 words
My Ultimate Fear is Realized1,218 words
I Get a Visit1,205 words
Settling In1,215 words
I Get Another Visitor1,409 words

Well...This is Strange

Chapter Two: Well...This is Strange

Well, it happened again, and the thing that happens in the movies is still dead on. And I am still dead, it would seem; I am still in a world of small, colorful equines. This time I did, however actually wake up inside some sort of structure.

Also, this time I managed to refrain from having what probably looked like an orgasm when my energy came back, only this time, the energy remained.

And, along with being inside and not having a surprise-gasm at my rush of energy, there was only one pony there. A pony and a giant-ass lizard who walked on two legs.

The pony was the very same one who had first spoke to me in the park, the purple unicorn. Well, I'm not dead, I guess...that means that I am either (A) insane, or (B) actually inside a magical world of ponies. Right now, option (A) is preferable.

"Why hello there! You're awake! What's your name?"

I have never shat my pants harder than I did on that day. I almost fell out of the bed that I just then noticed I was in.

"Oh, I'm so, so sorry, I should've been more quiet, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mrs. Purple Unicorn thingie. And my name is John."

She shook her with a cute little 'you're a freaking idiot' grin plastered across her face.

"No no, my name is Twilight Sparkle-"

"So are you a vampire pony?"

"What? Umm...no, of course not, why would you think that?"

"Hehe. Never mind, continue." I crack myself up sometimes.

"Uh..okay, anyway; My name is Twilight Sparkle, and you are currently inside of the Golden Oak Library, one of the many structures in a town known as Ponyville."

"Library? What am I doing in a bed? Do all Libraries in Ponyville have beds ?"

"Oh, no, I live here, you're using my bed; I brought you here after you passed out again."

She lives in a freaking library?

"Wait...you...actually live in a library? Are...are you a very big reader?"

I could tell by the sheen in her eyes that I was going to need to take evasive action in about three seconds.

"Yes! Yes I am. I love books, I do. I really, really do!" She said with a certain amount of dreaminess in her voice.

"Kay, gotcha."

I looked around and saw that, yes indeed, I was inside of a library. And a tree, as it would appear. I looked back from the rest of the large room and saw that the little lizard thing, who was sweeping the floor, had paused and was looking at me funny.

"What?"

His eyes widened.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Nothing at all."

He dashed away in blur, leaving the broom and dustpan twirling in the air momentarily, before they clattered to the ground. How comical.

"He's not plotting to eat me in my sleep, is he?"

The Purple Unicorn, Twilight, I guess, watched as the lizard bolted down the stairs. She turned back to me and said, "Who, Spike? You don't have worry about him, he's just being Spike; curious."

"So, what, is he your slave?" I asked, thinking back to his sweeping the floor.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no," she said, ejecting the 'no's like an automatic weapon, "He's just my assistant; he lives here too."

I raised my eyebrow, "Anyone else live here? Besides you and the lizard anyway..."

This merited yet another cute little 'you are an idiot' grin.'

"Spike isn't a lizard, he's a baby dragon."

Wha-?

"A dragon? Seriously?"

"Um...yes?"

I smiled a giant smile. I've always had a bit of an obsession with dragons, ever since I was a kid. Then I giggled a bit more manically than I had originally intended.

Twilight got a concerned look on her face, "You're not planning to eat him in his sleep, are you?"

I laughed a bit. "No, its just that I've always liked dragons."

"You have dragons in your world too?"

"Oh. No, they're just imaginary where I come from..." I say with a bit of an unintended meloncholy tone to my voice. Dragons were something that I could always turn to when I was being ignored by my uncle again. I could draw them fairly well, in any style. Cartoon, realistic... That's also one of the reasons that I liked to play Skyrim so much; it had dragons in it. They sort of let me tear open my envelope of imagination, which was always pretty full, and needed to be emptied. It was, into my drawings and video games.

But no more need for despair, 'cuz dragons are real here, bitch!

I wipe the sad look off of my face and hope out of Twilight's bed. The unicorn backs up a bit.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to eat you; you brought me here and took care of me for...how long was I out?"

"About three hours."

That weird oh...well look you get on your face that I can't really describe, usually includes a raised eyebrow; I got one.

"Anyway, would you mind giving me the grand tour?"

She beamed, "Of course I wouldn't mind, follow me!"

Her happiness was freaking contagious. I gave into it and smiled, following the prancing purple unicorn down the stairs.

[/hr]

Princess Celestia was sitting in her throne room, flanked by her guards and was, quite frankly, bored. A surprisingly small amount of letters from ponies that needed her help had come in today, and there was no need to do anything, travel anywhere...

Celestia let out a sigh and rested her chin on her golden-shod hoof.

"Is something the matter, you majesty?" one of the guards asked, with a slightly concerned look on his face.

"Oh...no....I'm just feeling a bit bored..."

The guard smirked, How do you think I feel?, and returned his gaze to the front of the room. It was unnervingly quite. Soon Celestia was sagging from the bordem. Running a country without war was nice and all but buck it could make you feel purposeless.

Celestia was just about to give up and go to her room, when the doors opened. The speed at which Celestia retained her majestic frame and smile could not be matched by god himself. Which is kind of a stupid phrase, since, here Celestia is a God. Or a Godless. You know what I mean.

"Yes? Can I help you?" she called a bit eagerly from across the long throne room.

It was just a newbie, who was carrying a load of dirty dishes across his back. His small frame was straining under the weight of them.

"Oh...I'm s-sorry P-Princess; I thought this was the kitchen..." He said, and closed the door.

How the hay do the throne room doors, which are massive, decorated, and have bucking THRONE ROOM across the top, in any way, resemble the damn kitchen doors!?

After a total of five seconds, Celestia let out a long, annoyed sigh.

"I quit. I'm going to my room."

"If you say so, your majesty." one guard said, and they both departed. The Princess sulked in her throne room for a bit more, walking all the way to her room seemed pretty unattractive right now, but she eventually left.

Princess Celestia was just about to enter her quarters when a letter appeared in front of her.

Oh, sure, send me a bucking letter now.

She proceeded to her room, lay down in front of her fireplace, and opened up the letter. Her eyes widened more and more as she read it. When she was done, she dropped the scroll and shouted.

"Guards!"

[/hr]

You know, despite the fact that I was randomly transported into a world of magical ponies, I was in a pretty darn good mood.

After I got the grand tour of the tree-library, or whatever you call those, the tour expanded to the entire town. I got to meet all of the ponies that I had seen earlier at the park, and some others as well, who, by the way, were pretty accepting of me, which was pretty surprising. I mean, I'm an alien for goodness sakes , but, oh well, I guess that its just the nature of these ponies to be accepting, which sounded good to me.

Then, Twilight took me around to meet all of her best friends, one of which I didn't even get to speak to; she just gasped and ran off as soon as she saw me.

"What was that all about?"

"Oh, you'll see..." Giant grin.

Rainbow Dash is probably my favorite, by the way, despite the fact that she threatened to kill me as soon as she saw me. Applejack seemed a bit cautious at first, but she warmed up to me once I informed here that the apple I had eaten off of one of her family's nearby trees was almost satanically delicious.

"Ah don't know what 'saytanic' means, but ah bet its a compliment!" She said as she quite viciously shook my hand.

Rarity fainted. The thing that she most reminded me of was a marshmellow. Fluttershy actually exploded into a wave of excitedness. Not what Twilight and the other cautioned me about at all. She said I was super-cute, how nice I looked, and began to examine me, commenting on my hair and my other aspects. Then, all friendliness from all of the ponies dissolved when she got to my teeth.

She pried open my mouth with a surprisingly strong pair of hooves, and began quietly lecture me about how I should brush my teeth more, when she shrieked, a very quite shriek, and shrunk away from me in terror.

"What? What is it?" Twilight asked Fluttershy, who was cowering, in a very adorable manner up against the outside of the front door of her cottage.

"T-t-t-teeth..." She said as she lifted a quivering hoof towards me.

I frowned even deeper and pulled my lips back.

More gasps.

"Whaaat? I know I don't brush my teeth very much, but-"

"Canines..."

"Canines?" Why was she talking about dogs right now?

Then I realized what she was talking about: my two canine teeth; they meant that I ate meat.

I exploded in guilt that I made such an adorable thing so frightened, even though it wasn't really my fault.

"Oh, no, no, don't worry; I eat meat, but not...you. You guys are intelligent beings, eating you would probably considered murder. Heck, even equines on my planet who aren't very intelligent don't get eaten very much."

Rainbow Dash was in my face.

"Waddaya mean very much?"

The fact that she was hovering off of the ground made it easier to place my two fingers on her muzzle and push away. She moved quite easily.

"What I mean is that, in the country I live in, we don't; its not in out culture. I mean, some countries do, but I don't."

Rainbow Dash still looked a bit suspicious.

Twilight jumped to my defense.

"Ladies, don't be like that. He even said so; he doesn't eat equines, especially smart ones."

I, who was standing behind her, did a over-exaggerated See? Listen to the smart lady! gesture.

We continued on our way, but tension was still high. It all disappeared when we reached the library. It was dark inside.

They all smiled hugely and shoved me inside. Remember when I said I had never shat my pants harder than I did that morning? Yeah, I lied.

My face was full of pink as soon as I was inside.

"Surprise!"

gah.

My sense were assaulted by pink. Seriously, I could friggin smell and hear pink!

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you!! Yay! I get to throw a party for an alien!"

I looked around. Streamers. Streamers everywhere.

I gotta admit, at first it looked like a birthday party for a six-year-old, but we partied late into the night. And I know this sounds gay, but I have no better word to describe it: The cupcakes she made were divine. There, I said it, and I meant every frikin word of it.

I stuffed myself to the point of throwing up. I even considered doing what the Romans did back in the day, but decided against it.

This party was the greatest I've ever been too, and I wouldn't trade the experience for the world.

Of course, even the greatest of parties have to end, and this one was no exception.

Everyone left, and Twilight, Spike and I cleaned up. I addressed the problem of where is the alien going to sleep, and Twilight responded with a 'simple' duplication spell. She made a copy of her bed. wat.

I stripped down to my underwear, unabashed, and slipped under the overs. Most. Comfortable. Bed. EVER
bitch!

I fell asleep almost instantly. Of course, that didn't last long.

There was a heavy knocking at the door, and a gruff voice.

"Open up, in the name of Princess Celestia!"

Twilight flicked on the light, and I responded much as a vampire probably would.

"Ah, I forgot; I sent a letter to the Princess regarding your arrival."

"Uh..okay?"

She waited for a second.

"That means get up: The ruler of Equestria is here to see you."

noooooo...

I sighed and complied. Twilight hurried down the stairs, and I followed, as soon I was dressed.

I came downstairs and shat my pants (hehe, I love that phrase.) at the FREAKING MASSIVE ARMORED UNICORN IN THE GODDAMN DOORWAY!

Shall we run for our lives? Yes, we shall.

I was about to follow my inner voice when Twilight noticed me.

"Ah, there you are, come here."

Mister armor didn't look like a princess to me, but I came to the doorway anyway. Ah. there's the princess.

"I'm sorry for wishing to meet you at such a late hour, but I couldn't resist. What is your name?"

Well, I don't know about you, but when a eighty-foot (slight exaggeration) unicorn-pegasus asks you what your name is, you freaking answer!

"J-John. John Barrings, m-ma'am."

Giant pony chuckled.

"No need to fear: I was just curious." She turned to Twilight, "Twilight, may I come in?"

Her eyes widened to a size akin to dinner plates.

"Oh! Yes, how rude of me! Come in, come in!"

We sat there talking for a bit. I learned all about Ponyville, Equestria, and ponies, (yes, they're are actually called ponies) and they learned all about me and my world. It was pretty late, when we finally ended the chat.

"Oh, Twilight, I'm sorry for keeping you two up so late; you can take the day off tomorrow."

Twilight smiled.

"Thanks you, Princess. I'll show you the door."

We all said our goodbyes and out goodnights and I freaking hit that bed harder than a 20-gauge shotgun shell.

Good-damn-night land of ponies!

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