Equestria, What A Place.

by 254Ddubman

Chapter 14: Would Ya Like An Apple?

After that successful gig Trixie & I had with Diamond Tiara's birthday party, we begun to receive an onslaught of constant jobs to do afterwards. Doing gigs on Trains, The Crystal Kingdom, and even Las Pegasus! I was very well aware that it was suppose to resemble Las Vegas, but the similarities was uncanny. They had casinos, bars, and even Pony Elvis! I still can't even wrap my mind around that. But anyway, Me & Trixie hit it off just great throughout the adventure. I'm actually a pretty wealthy person right now. Nuts even started charging rent after seeing my success.....Douchebag.
Nonetheless, it's been a pretty good couple of weeks in Equestria.

Ugh! Why must you torture me so..

Come on, It's not as bad as when we first came.

Stanley, I think your starting to forget the main concept of why were staying here so long.

Wut?

Don't you remember, That alicorn stated that she was going to find some type of way to get us back to our own world. BUT she has yet to show up, maybe we have to go to her ourselves to get back home. She could be waiting for us as we speak.

I wouldn't get my hopes up, considering the fact that she's been watching me ever since I came, so she wouldn't troll me that badly again......would she?

For your sake, I hope not.

ANYWAY. I've been working an awful lot lately, and it's not that I don't enjoy this job. but every guy like me deserves a break every once in awhile. Trixie's been treating me so well throughout the weeks that I would hate to get on her bad side if I were to ask for some time off.

What is she? Your Mom? You don't need her approval.

Well she is kinda my boss.

Oh, Yeah.

I'll ask her today, I mean what's the worst she can say?

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"A break?!" the surprised Trixie utters after hearing Stan's request. "But, I thought we were having so much fun."

It was only a couple of moments ago before Stan gave out the news about him wanting time off. Trixie happened to be unpacking from their last show in Manehattan upon Stan's arrival at the time.

"We were, and I enjoyed every single show, it's just that a guy needs a little break from time to time. Ya know?" Stan said with an honest tone. "Plus, I gotta do something with these extra bits I have." Trixie was still under the allusion that Stan wanted to stop working for her, but after understanding his needs she went ahead and coped with his request.

"Well alright, I guess." Trixie said in defeat. "You can come back whenever you feel replenished."

"Aw, come on." Stan said a assuring tone. "I'm not leaving forever, I'll probably be back before you know it!"

"Hehe, I know!" Trixie said with a more jollier tone. "I guess i'm just over thinking it."

"Whelp, I guess I'll just see you around then." Stan says in a nonchalant tone as he walks away.

"Alright, See you later!" Trixie waves him off as he leaves.

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Wow you're blind.

What do you mean?

Isn't it obvious that she probably likes you now?

Who, Trixie? Nah, we're just business partners. Plus i'm still into Applejack.

We're heading to her house right now, aren't we?

How'd ya guess?

Brain.

Oh yeah.

As I headed towards Applejack's house, I was having thoughts about what exactly would I say to her. I haven't seen her in awhile since I joined up with Trixie. Who knows how our "relationship" could at this point. I really hope i'm not a complete stranger to her now.

You're worried about being a complete stranger to her? Just imagine the amount of rent Nuts is going to charge you for not even staying there for the past week.

Well, at least I can pay for it now..

Getting closer to Applejack's house, I came to thinking. What if she isn't here?

I think you're overreacting.

I knocked on the front door. No answer..

Well, At least you tried.

I broke down in tears at the front door in pure disappointment. "Nooooooooooo!!!!!" I screamed out into the skies.

Okay, Now you're REALLY overrating.

Thinking that nothing couldn't get any worse, I hear a faint call of my name in the distance. I took the time to spectate where it came from, but there was no luck. I look around a bit more, but all I found was an apple orchard......where Applejack......happened to be standing...Oh.

"Stan, are you okay?" Applejack called out

"HAHA, Yeah I'm just fine!" I answered nervously

"Then why are ya crying at my door? There isn't anyone in the house right now."

"Well, ya see, um, I stubbed my toe walking here......Yeah."

Smooth like sand paper.

"So what are you doing back here anyway?" I asked as I approached Applejack. "Picking yourself an afternoon snack?"

"Haha, No silly, I'm doing my job." Applejack replied

"Job?"

"Well, Yeah. I buck these critters out of the trees and sell them for profit!"

"That sounds exhausting..."

"Well it has it's perks to see everypony enjoying our apples! Applebloom was suppose to be selling them today, but we forgot that she had school at this time. Granny Smith would do it, if she wasn't......well you know, and Big Mac is off selling apples in another town. So this time It's all up to me to sell apples all around Ponyville before midnight."

"How about I help!" I offered Applejack

"Really? Don't cha got to do magician-y things with Trixie?" Applejack questioned

"Not today, I took time off to enjoy life.....and things like this."

"Ya know you don't have to right? I'm fully capable of doin' thing by myself."

"Come on Applejack, I WANT to help. How possibly hard is it to be a apple salesman anyway? We'll make this fun!"

"Well now that cha put it that way.... Sure ya can come.!" says the now enthused Applejack. "Just let me grabbed a couple of things before we get started."

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After a couple of minutes of preparing we stood in front of Applejack's house ready. Applejack was fully equipped with a harness attached to a small crate on wheels carrying apples, while I just carried a normal bucket full of apples.

"Ya ready?" Applejack asked

"Born." I assured

Isn't it ironic to time time off work to do more work?.

Nope.

With that, Applejack and Me made our way down to the neighborhoods of Ponyville.

---

"Okay Stan this is it! The first step on our road to living the life of the Apple family!" Applejack lectures as we walk up to our first customer "Just follow my lead."

Applejack proceeds to knock on the front door awaiting for the home owner to open it

"Hello?" A dark green stallion with a yellow mane asks as he opened the door

"Good afternoon sir, could we interest you in some apples?" Applejack offers

"Apples? Did you say, Apples?!" the stallion questions

"Yes sir. With or without seeds?" I interject

Wait hold up, this sounds like...

"Apples? APPLES! APPLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!" the stallion suddenly shouted in rage as his eyes reddened. then BOOM! He instantly bucks the shit out of me out of nowhere!

"What the fuck man!" I yelled in pain from the sudden sort to violence

"I. Hate. Apples." the stallion announced with each angry breath

POW! Again out of nowhere, Applejack bucks the shit out of the stallion for his actions.

"How dare ya talk bad about my apples!" Applejack yelled

"Because i'm allergic!" the now grounded stallion cries in defeat

"Oh, Whoops! Sorry.." Applejack apologized

"OH GAWD, my fucking ribs!" I added, still in pain might I add

"Well why in tarnation did you buck my friend, Stan" Applejack also questions

"I have muscle spasms whenever i'm around apples!" the stallion cried

Bullshit.

"I could call the authorities ya know!" the stallion protested

"You don't have to do that. All we have to do is sit down and negoti- RUN!" Applejack screamed in hurry as she tosses me on the cart of apples and bolted away.

"I will get you crazy kids!" the grounded stallion screamed from a distance as we left.

---

"Okay, the first guy didn't count. This is our REAL first step!" Applejack assures me

"I really hope so, my ribs are killing me!" I complained

With that, Applejack knocked on the door to reveal our next customer. Who happened to be a mare with two tones of blue in her mane, and a music note as a......'cutie mark'? She also had shades on indoors, but I didn't question it.

"Oh, Hiya there Vinyl!" Applejack greeted the mare by name. "Would ya like to purchase an apple today?"

"Sure, can it wub?" Vinyl questioned Applejack

"Can it.....wut?" I replied in confusion at the feature she wanted......for an APPLE

"Um, I'm not sure what that means exactly, But you can 'eat' it though." Applejack added

"WHAT?! You don't know what a wub is?" Vinyl gasp in shock, while she anonymously brings out a giant speaker right in front of us

What the?

ZIPPITY ZOW ZIPPITY ZEW WUBWUBWUBWUBWUB!!! Noises began to play upon the speakers blowing me and Applejack a great distance. As Vinyl gets on top of it and bops her head.

WHAT IS THIS SKRILLEX COVERED NONSENSE?

"UGH! I hate it when she gets like this!" Applejack yelled to me, cuffing her ears

"She does this more than once?!" I questioned

"Yeah! But we should really get going before we go deaf!" Applejack concluded as we bolted off again from yet another house

"Hey, Where'd you guys go? You didn't even get to hear the beat drop." Vinyl scratch her head in confusion

---

As the afternoon sun begun to rise as we walked, Applejack started to come into realization.

"We're not doing so well, Stan." Applejack huffs "Applebloom would've sold dozens of apples by now!"

"Well that last customer certainly didn't help" I replied "Maybe we need to be more assertive."

"I expected Octavia to answer the door this time, because the same thing happened the last time I was there."

"Who?"

"Uh nevermind....But what we need a new approach, a new tactic."

"BOOM, I got it, Let's get naked!" I said with enthusiasm for some reason. After that, a strong silence crossed us both as we stopped in our tracks.

"Uh, Stan. I'm already naked." Applejack said, breaking the silence between us. "But that's not a bad idea for when we sell cider. But there has to be something!

"We can always lie."

"Stan, I'm the element of honesty, I can't lie."

"Rats!" I snapped from how awesome my idea could've been.

"Well there was this one method Granny Smith uses to get frequent sells."

"Throwing the product at them?"

"No silly, Getting to know the customer and making them feel good."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea. It always works for the drug sellsman in my world." I agreed upon the idea. "Let's get started at the next house."

---

Applejack proceeds to knock on the new house door, as we prepare our motive.

"Alright this time we'll work as a team. Let me get this customer warmed up and you come in for the kill!" Applejack whispers to me

"The Kill!" I replied with confidence. The door slowly opened to reveal a tangerine colored elder pony mare who used a walker to stand.

Oh, You're gonna go in for the kill alright.

"Yes?" The elder mare answers

"Hello, young lady." Applejack says with a wink towards me. Which I replied with a thumbs up "We're selling apples. Is your mother home?"

"Mom!" the elder mare calls out to the back

"What, what, what's all the yelling?" Suddenly an even elderly dry pink mare comes from the back of the house in a wheelchair to greet us. "You just can't wait for me to DIE, can you?" the even elderly mare screamed out

"They're selling apples." the elder tells the even elderly mare

"Apples?" the even elderly mare replies

"Yeah!"

"What, what are they selling?"

"Apples!"

"What?"

"APPLES!"

"I can't hear you!"

"THEY'RE SELLING APPLES!!"

"They're selling apples?"

"YEAH!!"

"Apples. I remember when they first invented apples."

"Wait hold up, you do?" I said in surprised

"Sweet, juicy apples.... I always hated it!" the even elderly mare continued

"Oh, but these apples aren't for eating. It's for..." Applejack said with nervousness. At that exact moment, I knew what had to be done. Applejack may not be able to lie, but 'I' sure can.

"It's for throwing them at fillies, and it makes them get off your lawn." I quickly inserted, finishing Applejack's sentence.

"Oh, well in that case, give me a whole bucket!" the even elderly mare says in satisfaction

"Uh okay, that'll be 25 bits ma'am" Applejack offers

"25 BITS? for apples!" the elder mare replied astonished by the pricing

"Aw, don't be so cheap Mary, just pay the young mare." the even elderly mare yelled towards the other. Which convinced the purchase to be final. "What are you waiting for you lazy Mary, start pelting those fillies with them apples." the even elderly mare gripped from inside the house.

"I hate you." said Mary as she slams the door. But long story short, we finally got a sale under our belts! And it's only..... The AFTERNOON!

"Well, I guess one sell is better then nothin'" Applejack sighed as we walked away from the customers house.

"I really don't see how Applebloom would excel at this when she does it." I said, complimenting the fillies effort

"Well she does have her friends with her whenever she sells, so i'm pretty sure they torment them with a little routine or sumthin' just to get them to buy a few."

"Haha, you're probably right. But we should start heading back towards the farm, I think this is all we're gonna get today."

"Yeah, lets get going. I wouldn't want to keep ya anyway."

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As we walked closer towards the barn (25 bits in hand/hoove), we came to realize how disappointed Granny Smith might be over the lack of sells we gotten today.

"This may be bad." Applejack worries

"Huh?" I question with concern

"It's just that, Applebloom is usually sold out of apples by this time. And all we sold was one bucket."

"At least we sold 'something'. I'm pretty sure Granny Smith will understand, what's the worst that could happen?"

"I guess you're right." Applejack concluded. We were soon at the front door of her home, awaiting the events that are soon to come. Applejack slowly turned the door knob and we slowly walked inside. Applebloom was sitting at the dinner table enjoying herself a pie, while Granny Smith stirred a pot at the stove.

"Oh Hiya Stanley!" Applebloom cheered. This then got the attention of Granny Smith.

"What's up Applebloom, Hey Granny Smith. How's it going?" I greeted the two.

"Everything's fine and dandy!" Granny Smith said. "How was the sells today?" Upon asking the question, Applejack and I became frozen

"Yeah! Did ya end up selling more than me?" Applebloom asked, adding on pressure

We-We only sold a bucket..." Applejack finally confessed after a minute of silence.

"Hm, well it must've been a slow day, better luck next time dearie." Granny Smith said, understanding the situation that might've occurred.

And boom just like that everything was fine. Applejack felt silly after all the worrying she did, and we all ended up eating Granny Smith's pot mush afterwards. We had long conversations at the dinner table about our little adventure attempting to sell apples around the town. Granny Smith found it hysterical after all the bad luck we were put through. I also told the story of the first day I arrived to this world, and the first time I ran into Applejack: And how getting back to my home world is currently a hassle. I really felt like I was growing closer to Applejack and her family as we talked, this could mean something for the two of us if I play my cards right.

Oh, Brother.

Applebloom ended up heading to bed after awhile, so I'm starting to think that's my cue to head out as well.

"I think it's about time I should be going." I announced to Applejack and Granny Smith.

"Oh, Alright now. Be sure to get home safely, it's pretty dark out there." Granny Smith advised

"I'm sure i'll be fine." I replied

"Oh, thanks Stan... for everything." Applejack said walking towards me. "I know you could've been doing something better with your time instead of working with me." She then held me for a tight embrace. "I just want ya to know I appreciate that." she concluded, letting go of the hug.

Flabbergasted after the event that past, I finally decided to say something real smooth.

"YeAh WeLL, No pRObleM." I replied with the most pre-pubescent voice due to nervousness.

As Applejack chuckled at he voice, I made the quick decision to bolt out the door while I still had me dignity.

"Goodnight, Stan!" I overheard Applejack in the distance as I rushed out.

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We need to talk.

About what?

About Equestria.

What about it?

You're getting to attached. You're making friends, you're getting jobs. You're doing favors. And you're in love.

And you're point is?

By this rate, do you still think you want to leave this place.

Um, Uh. I'll be fine. I'm not 'that' attached.

You continue to live in a house with a horse that only says one thing. No sane person could put up with this.

When the time comes i'm sure I would still prefer it in my world. I'm in college, I can't just flake out on that now.

Yeah, We'll see...

After that long conversation with myself, I was soon at my front door. But the weird thing is that it's dark, and the lights inside the house were off. I'm sure Nuts doesn't sell ice cream to fillies at midnight, that's registered sex offender status.

I opened he door to reveal complete darkness. Flipping the light switch to show no one was existent in the room. I can now confirm that Nuts isn't here. But if he isn't here, were else could he be?..... But seriously I could give less than two shits about him, all I know is that I got the house to myself for awhile.

The whole house.
By Myself.
ME GUSTA.

Comments

[254Ddubman]

5749259
I got'cha

[MoanForPonies]

The SpongeBob References made my wheeze in laughter I couldn’t. 🤣