• Published 5th Jan 2013
  • 7,125 Views, 229 Comments

The Reason I Love You - Blue Dragon



Twilight and Pinkie reminisce about their hidden feelings for each other, and finally decide to do something about it.

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Walking on Thin Ice

“Oh, Big Mac, I ruined everything,” Pinkie lamented, falling back on his bed with a massive sigh. Big Mac took a seat in the chair beside his desk, frowning.

“Ah don’t quite understand, Miss Pinkie,” he said with a furrowed brow.

Pinkie lifted a foreleg into the air, staring at it. After she’d gone to the lake by herself, Big Mac had shown up. The stallion had comforted her without words for at least an hour before asking if she wanted to go to Sweet Apple Acres. The pink mare had no objection to it, and only followed silently.

In fact, these were the first words she’d spoken to him.

“I… I broke up with Twilight.” She squeezed her eyes shut and counted the seconds it took for Big Mac to reply. After twenty, it became apparent that he wasn’t going to. So, Pinkie continued despite it feeling like an excuse. “I know I can trust you, Big Mac. After all, you’re the only pony that knows about me and Twi, and you’ve kept it a secret up until now.”

Pinkie swallowed. “You remember that Twinkie party I really wanted to have? It’s never gonna happen, and Twi’s never gonna want to be my friend again, and all the other girls are gonna hate me—oh, AJ’s going to skin me alive!”

“Ah doubt she’d do somethin’ like that,” Big Mac said firmly, “and even more than that Ah doubt Twilight would kick ya to the curb.”

“You don’t understand…” Pinkie let her hoof fall back to the bed. “I told her I loved her, but now we’re not together anymore; I told her we couldn’t work.”

“Why?” Big Mac asked, much more verbal than Pinkie could remember him ever being.

“Because if I didn’t, she would’ve gotten hurt.”

“Why?”

“The nightmares would never stop coming. I saw what it was like when she had them; it was terrible and I never want to see her go through that again.”

“Why?”

“Because I love her, don’t you get it?” Pinkie shot a glare his way, her fur bristling. Big Mac gave her a blank look.

“…Ah’m not sayin’ I understand exactly what’s goin’ on between you two, but what I do understand is that you two love each other. Twilight’s a smart pony, and I’m sure you two can find some sort of solution for all this nonsense that doesn’t leave the both of you hurt.”

Pinkie let her gaze wander to the floor. “…Princess Celestia herself was at the library. She told me there was no way no how I could keep dating Twilight and get rid of her nightmares at the same time.”

“So?”

Pinkie sent him a shocked look, one that didn’t fit her at all. “What do you mean? I’m talking about the Princess Celestia here!”

“Has it ever crossed your mind that even the princess can be wrong? Maybe she’s testin’ your relationship.”

“What’re you saying?” Pinkie Pie sat up, meeting Big Mac’s eyes.

“What Ah’m sayin’ is you should go talk to Twilight and work things out. I think you overreacted to the princess an’ maybe you misheard.” Big Mac shook his head, “Princess Celestia is a fair ruler. She wouldn’t pull two lovin’ ponies apart for a reason like that.”

Pinkie mulled over what Big Mac was saying. On one hoof, she really wanted to see Twilight again and apologize and promise she’ll never say something like that again, but on the other hoof she didn’t feel worthy of Twilight any longer, and she didn’t want to take a chance when it came to Twilight’s wellbeing. Pinkie never was good at decisions.

Pinkie felt a familiar tug at her gut. Big Mac was a sensible pony, perhaps even more so than his sister. But was he more trustworthy than Princess Celestia?

“I don’t know, Big Mac…” Pinkie let her shoulders sag. “Twilight must hate me by now.”

“I doubt that,” he said. “Just give it a chance. Unless yer perfectly fine with never gettin’ to see her again, never getting to hold her, and never gettin’ to hear her voice. If that’s what you really want, then maybe I was wrong about your having real feelings for her.”

Pinkie’s heart thudded heavily against her chest, protesting against everything Big Mac had said. To be honest, she didn’t want any of that to happen. She wanted to wake up with Twilight beside her, she wanted to cook the very best treats and watch as Twilight ate them, and more than anything she wanted to see Twilight smile.

Pinkie bit her lip. “…I’m so stupid. Why didn’t I think about this before?”

Big Mac opted not to say anything, leaving Pinkie Pie to her thoughts. She wished she could dissolve into the floor.


Twilight wasn’t feeling so great. Her head ached, and her face was raw from the tears she’d shed. The floor underneath her was cold and unforgiving, and exactly what she didn’t want from it.

Twilight was still sorely unsure about what had happened. Pinkie’s words resounded in her head like a bell being struck in an otherwise silent room. Twilight had never dated a pony in the past, and she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to try again. Pinkie was so amazing and everything was perfect, and she’d never have guessed this would’ve happened. Never would have guessed that Pinkie didn’t want to date her anymore.

She’d promised that she wasn’t dating her just to make her happy, but that must’ve been a lie. If this was what love was, Twilight wanted no part in it.

Twilight steeled herself as she stood, her legs weak and shaking. She walked over to her desk, where books on magical theory were already strewn about. One book in particular caught her attention… The one Pinkie had written herself about the sweetest things in the world. Bitter tears streamed down her face, and she threw the book as hard as she could across the room, where it hit the wall with a smack. She gritted her teeth and wiped her eyes with a foreleg before dropping down into her chair. Her gaze shifted to the rest of the books in front of her.

She hadn’t studied enough lately, due to Pinkie’s inclusion in her day and her nightmares by evening. But now, she didn’t have anything to hold her back. Princess Celestia would be proud of her if she could get this done; if she could get a report or two to her today.

So, it was with conviction that she opened a book and stared at its pages. She read through it, her eyes glassy and following the lines of words with little understanding. It kept the nagging thoughts in her mind at bay. It gave her the peace she craved since she was a filly—the peace she hadn’t had since before she met Pinkie.

“…Hey, Twilight?”

Twilight sat there, unmoving. She ignored the voice, not trusting herself to respond.

“It’s me, Spike. I… I heard some of what happened.”

Twilight felt something wet streak down her cheeks yet again, but she said nothing. Her shoulders lifted and dropped of their own accord, her stomach sinking at the reminder.

Then, she felt a hoof on her shoulder. “Twilight! What the hay’s happened to you?!”

Rainbow Dash. Twilight didn’t look up from her book, but that didn’t last long. Rainbow reached for Twilight’s other shoulder and turned her roughly toward her. Her big pink-red eyes were full of worry and care.

The unicorn shrugged her off and turned back to her book. “I’m busy, Rainbow Dash.” Her voice was weak and strangled, and she hated that she sounded that way.

Rainbow shoved the books off of the desk, causing them to clatter to the floor on the opposite side. Twilight glared at the pegasus harshly.

“Then make time.” Rainbow’s gaze hardened as she spoke, her tail swishing aggressively behind her. Spike walked over, unsure about the situation.

Hot, angry tears pricked at Twilight’s eyes now, but her stare was unwavering. “Why? Why does it even matter…?” she murmured. She looked away from Rainbow Dash, her eyes landing on the book Pinkie had written for her. When she’d thrown it, it’d landed face down, the pages crinkling from the position.

Twilight finally found it in her to speak up. “…Pinkie broke up with me.”

Rainbow Dash’s hooves fell away, and her eyes glazed over. “What? Why?”

“She said we couldn’t work. That… it wasn’t meant to be.” She shifted in her seat. Hearing the words coming out of her own mouth made it seem more real, and it was all she could do to keep from bursting out into tears. “…I was a fool to think otherwise. I should’ve stuck with my gut; she was only doing it to make me happy.”

Rainbow didn’t say anything, but her hooves were shaking. Twilight couldn’t see her face, but rage seemed to emanate from the pegasus. “How could she do that…? You both looked so… so… happy. I can’t believe this. I swear, I’m gonna—“

Twilight felt a draft hit her before she knew Rainbow had taken flight. When she looked up, all she saw was a rainbow trail where her friend once was.

Spike stepped closer. “…Twilight.” She made no attempt to respond, but he didn’t care. The dragon hopped up onto her lap and wrapped his claws around her.

“I’m sorry this happened to you…” he said quietly. “I never would have guessed it.”

Somehow, this brought a second round of tears to her eyes. Her chest felt hollow, but warmth spread through her body. Spike cared. He always would.

Twilight wrapped her forelegs around him and hugged him tightly, just as she did when she was younger and the other kids were picking on her, and cried into his scales. He was neither cold nor warm, but it was comforting nonetheless.

She didn’t know how long she sat there.


Pinkie had left Sweet Apple Acres a few minutes ago, and was content with walking down the path alone. She took her time, just thinking. The last time she’d been here she had wanted to recover the Smarty Pants doll for Twilight, and the thought made her sad.

She wasn’t sure where she was going or what she wanted to do, but that was enough. Pinkie had no idea who to believe: Princess Celestia’s words, Twilight’s prowess, or Big Mac’s reliability. Too many things were going through her mind at once; and all left her with varying levels of regret and the want to never be in Ponyville again.

It came as a surprise when something crashed into her and knocked her to the ground. The other pony stood over her, anger and hurt in her eyes.

“Pinkie! How could you?!”

Pinkie winced. Rainbow Dash’s words lashed out at her, pouring salt into the already life-lasting wounds. She didn’t say anything—couldn’t. She didn’t even know how Rainbow had figured out what had happened.

“I can’t believe you! I thought—I thought you two had something special. I thought you loved her!”

“What’re you talking about?” Pinkie said, her words betraying her guilty conscience. “How did you know?”

“That doesn’t matter!” Rainbow Dash continued to glare down at her friend, scorching her in her heated gaze. “You told her you loved her! She’s a complete wreck right now, I hope you know that. And—and… UGH! I can’t even look at you I’m so mad!”

The pegasus stepped away from Pinkie, her muscles tense and her body shaking. Pinkie stood up.

“She’s… a complete wreck?” She could barely find the strength in her to speak up against her angry, could-kill-a-pony friend. Rainbow tossed her head.

Yes! You’d better explain yourself. I’ve never seen her more depressed!”

Another knife stabbed through Pinkie’s heart. She wanted nothing more than to be next to Twilight, to comfort her, to brush her mane as she cried, and to apologize through every minute of it…

“So? Why the hay did you break up with her?” Rainbow asked again, and Pinkie realized she wouldn’t be able to change the subject or get away from her. She let her head hang.

“I can’t tell you, Dashie.”

Pinkie felt the heat of Rainbow’s glare on her, just barely stopping short of sending her to Tartarus. Dash stomped a hoof into the ground.

“Well, I’m not gonna let you go anywhere until you tell me,” she said stubbornly. “You’re lucky I didn’t tell the other girls about this… but if you don’t tell me why you broke up with her, then I’m going to have to assume the worst.”

Pinkie sighed. “…Fine…”

So, she explained. She told Rainbow Dash everything she had told Big Mac; her feelings, Princess Celestia’s words, Twilight's shock…

Rainbow Dash was animated throughout her explanation. She was angry throughout most of it, but her expression softened a bit toward the end.

“She’s having nightmares?” Rainbow shook her head before sitting back on her flank. “…I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, Pinkie. But still… Big Mac’s right; you shouldn’t have done that.”

Pinkie’s lower lip quivered. “But Dashie… I don’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, well, I know what you’re going to do. You’re gonna go to Twilight’s place right now, apologize, and make things right again. Besides, didn’t she have the nightmares before you got together?”

Something clicked. Pinkie’s mind zoomed back to the day she’d asked Twilight out, and when she’d admitted to having nightmares. Rainbow Dash was right—she’d had them before they got together. That had to mean something, right? Maybe Princess Celestia really was pulling her leg—maybe there was nothing to worry about!

Pinkie felt excitement course through her. Maybe—maybe she didn’t have to forget about ever seeing Twilight again or ever kissing her or never getting to hold her, like Big Mac had said. But still, trepidation followed the initial enthusiasm.

“Does she hate me now? If I apologized… would she kick me out and never want to see me again?”

She couldn’t even imagine how Twilight must have been looking right now, or how she must have been feeling. Pinkie swallowed thickly.

“She’s only really sad right now. I’m sure if you explained, she'd forgive you. That’s what friends—and marefriends, I guess—do, right?”

Rainbow Dash gave her a smile, which soon dipped down into a frown. “I still haven’t completely forgiven you for hurting Twilight like that, though. Next time, think a little more before acting.”

Pinkie nodded, sure she would be able to hold that promise. She never, ever wanted to go through this again—and she was positive she’d learned her lesson. If Twilight forgave her, she wouldn’t pull something like this if her own life depended on it. Unless Twilight’s life was on the line, but that was a different story.

It was a short walk back into town, now that she knew where she was going. She didn’t waste any time either, focused completely on the task ahead. Rainbow Dash didn’t say anything on the way.

Pinkie took a deep breath as she stood in front of the library. Her legs were shaking, and suddenly this didn’t seem like a good idea. She remembered the blank look on Twilight’s face, and she could vividly imagine how hurt her expression must’ve been at this point.

“Go on,” Rainbow Dash urged lightly. When Pinkie couldn’t force her hoof up, the pegasus opened the door for her. Inside, Spike was picking up the books Rainbow had knocked off earlier, his face tight.

He looked up when he heard the door open and he glared. “Pinkie! What’re you doing here?! And why did you bring her here, Rainbow Dash?!”

The dragon fumed angrily, his eyes darting from the two ponies. Pinkie had never seen him so livid before.

“Calm down, Spike. Pinkie needs to talk with Twilight.” Rainbow Dash walked inside, looking around. “Where is she?”

“Uh-uh,” Spike shook his head. “I don’t care what you guys want, you can’t come in right now. I just got her to get into bed, and I don’t want to see her cry again.”

“Please, Spike, I’ll explain everything to you later. I just—I need to see her.” Pinkie trotted inside, headed toward the staircase. Spike barred her path just before she took the first step.

“No, Pinkie. I got you two together because I thought it’d make Twi happy, and I thought you both were! Why would you tell somepony you love them if you don’t?”

“I didn’t lie!” Pinkie exclaimed suddenly, her voice cracking. Spike glared at her for a long while before he finally looked away. He sighed.

“Whatever. But if you make Twilight cry again, Pinkie…” Spike gave her a hard look before stepping away. Pinkie smiled at him.

“Thanks, Spikey. I won’t.” Pinkie walked past him and up the stairs, where she was met with the door to Twilight’s bedroom. Pinkie pressed an ear against it, and for a moment all she could hear was her own heavy breathing and the beating of her heart.

When no other sound could be heard, Pinkie pushed the door open and stepped inside. She moved on the tips of her hooves, making sure not to make a sound. Her eyes landed on Twilight’s bed at once. A lump was just underneath the cover, and it was shaking.

Pinkie chewed her lip before stepping a little closer. Now she could see a horn jutting out from the blanket—unmistakably Twilight’s. She swallowed before finally finding the courage to speak up.

“…Twilight?”

A purple ear perked up. One of those adorable ears that could only belong to Twilight.

Then, Twilight sat up and turned around so she was facing Pinkie. The unicorn looked bad. Her appearance couldn't even be described as terrible, it was that bad. Her mane was disheveled, her fur roughed up, and her eyes were bloodshot. She looked nothing like the Twilight Pinkie had come to know, and it hurt to see her this way.

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was hoarse and strained.

“I’m… I’m here to apologize,” Pinkie said as she pressed her trembling hooves into her chest. She swallowed again.

“For what? Telling the truth? You were right; I don’t know what I was thinking. Obviously we’re too different to stay together. Now if you’ll excuse me, I was busy doing… doing whatever it is I was doing before you came in.”

Pinkie jumped up when her heart had. “No, no, no—Twilight, that wasn’t the truth! I was lying; I really really didn’t want to say all that stuff. It was just that Princess Celestia told me that your nightmares would never go away if I didn’t stop seeing you, and then I didn’t want to see you get so worked up like that one time…”

Twilight’s expression hadn’t changed the slightest. “And why would Princess Celestia say something like that? Why should I trust you after all that?”

“Because… Because…” Pinkie twiddled with her hooves, unable to maintain eye contact with Twilight. The unicorn sniffled, but anger still filled her to the brim. Pinkie took a deep breath before forcing her eyes to meet Twilight’s.

“Because it’s the truth. I Pinkie promise you—a thousand times. I really, truly am sorry for hurting you, and I never want to do that again. I just—I didn’t… I’m no good at decisions, or thinking straight. Princess Celestia told me that stuff, and all I could think about was how scared you were before, and I couldn’t think past it.”

She scuffed her hoof against the ground. Twilight spoke so quietly she might not have heard if the situation had been any different.

“Do you… Do you still love me?”

Pinkie nodded several times, her mane bouncing with her head. “Yes, yes, I really do!”

“Really?” Pinkie took another step toward Twilight, nodding a little slower.

“Yes, I promise.”

Twilight bit her lip, chewing it in that thoughtful way Pinkie had come to love. “How much?”

Pinkie leaned forward, resting her forehead against Twilight’s. “More than anything.”

Twin tears rolled down Twilight’s face, and Pinkie lifted her head to kiss them away. She heard Twilight sniffle again.

“I was so scared… I thought… I thought you didn’t like me anymore. That you really had lied to me that day.” Pinkie pressed her lips against Twilight’s lightly, for a brief second. When she pulled away, she sniffled herself.

“I’m sorry…”

“I thought I was a terrible pony…” she whispered. Pinkie kissed Twilight again, her hoof reaching up to caress Twilight’s cheek. She pulled away shortly.

“You’re a wonderful pony.” Twilight bit her lip in that adorably frustrating way again, and Pinkie couldn’t keep herself from claiming them once more. The unicorn pressed back this time.

When they parted, Pinkie pressed her lips against Twilight’s cheek, opposite of the one her hoof still rested on. “You’re the best pony ever… I hope you can find it in you to forgive me.”

Twilight rested her hoof over Pinkie’s, moving it just to the side so she could kiss it.

“...Of course I can. I love you, you know?” Pinkie slipped her hoof away from Twilight’s and placed it on her shoulder. Again their lips met, but this time Pinkie pushed Twilight down onto the bed.

A couple of long minutes later, Pinkie pulled away. “I love you too. I really mean it.”

Twilight leaned up and lightly kissed the other mare’s nose. “Promise?”

“I promise… Forever and always.”


Spike and Rainbow Dash took a few steps back, careful not to alert the two ponies in the bedroom. It was Pinkie’s fault for leaving the door open and not expecting someone to spy on them, after all. It wasn’t like the two peepers were guilty or anything.

“I guess they’ve made up,” Spike whispered to Dash, unable to tear his gaze away from the two kissing ponies. Though he’d stepped away from the door, he still had a clear view.

“Oh, Spike, you have a lot to learn when it comes to this stuff…” Rainbow smacked a hoof against her face before pulling him down the stairs. “They need some privacy. Besides… wasn’t there something we needed to do at Rarity’s?”