Good. Seen it before, but good.

Not bad, but i feel like this deserves a sequel.

Needs a sequel in which Rarity gives head back to dream Spike.

I can see this having a few more chapters, maybe Spike's wet dirty whatever you want to call it dream of her then a last chapter of there love happening for real.

Don't take this the wrong way, but eff you with that ending. Come on.

i love the twist at the end. this was really good i enjoyed this write more like this plz:)

I love what your doing

Writing erotica is no excuse. Get it right already.

1896928 I actually knew about this, it was the first mistake I spotted but forgot to change, thanks for reminding me.

1896516Sorry, but I didn't want to ruin anything, maybe I will write another series based off this? Depending on how well this does I will think about it.

Nice. Little rough, but pleasantly surprised.

A little rushed with the romance, but still pretty sweet. It does warrant a sequel though where Spike and Rarity DO get together.

Needs more, but it was very enjoyable and quite nicely written. I wouldn't suggest using pussy in narrative though. Also, when refering to someone you need a comma before and after. "Oh, Spike, please don't stop."

Needz Sequel

Short, simple, enjoyable. I liked that you didn't end on coitus; it's much too cliché. Saw the "it's a dream" coming from a mile away, but it was still effective. Unfortunately, it's not really outstanding in any way.

Overall: Good, but not great. Thumbed up, but not faved.

On the writing: There's rampant comma abuse throughout, but spelling is very good. One mistake: "passed her lips" -> "past her lips" (Explanation.)

1899242 Thanks. I really appreciate your feedback, it helps me for future projects.
1899631 Very true, I enjoyed writing that to. Thanks for the "Passed V Past" explanation, I would have never spotted that myself.

A little rushed but, still nicely writing.
Good Jod!

This is could to be a epilogo for a serie.

AUGH that ending. This is great. Kinda straight to the act, but its got me hooked. Faved and following.
Oh and I vote for a sequel, or continuation, if you're feeling it.

So it's all a dream?
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcb8thp9nL1rp9igzo1_500.gif

Part 2

Definitely good... up until the cliched "oh it was all just a wet dream" ending. Next IMO should come part 2 (or chapter 2) where they actually clop clop outside the dream world. If you don't end up writing that... well I really can't do anything except call BS.

2235113 Well the keyword is "Dreams" but I'm feeling nice, check out my latest a blog for more information.

Well... Rarity's got quite the erotic mind when it comes to that dragon.

Love it!

"Oh... It was only a dream." She pouted.

Take the fucking hint! Go find Spike and just do it with him!

The ending ahahahahahahah

Rarity could feel the pressure build in her stomach, as he continued his service her.

I think you meant either "he continued his service TOWARDS her", or "he continued TO service her."

Please point out any spelling error and I'll go right ahead and fix 'em.

"Errors" should be plural. Pretty ironic how the biggest spelling error here is the part where you ask the readers to point out spelling errors.:D