• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen February 8th

Stunt Monkey


I own and tour with a travelling circus, the cool kind with performing animals and fire breathers. Not those crappy ones with ballet and shit. I also own a pet shop.

Comments ( 57 )

Good. Seen it before, but good. :twilightsmile:

Max

Not bad, but i feel like this deserves a sequel.

Needs a sequel in which Rarity gives head back to dream Spike.

I can see this having a few more chapters, maybe Spike's wet dirty whatever you want to call it dream of her then a last chapter of there love happening for real.

Don't take this the wrong way, but eff you with that ending. Come on. :raritydespair:

i love the twist at the end. this was really good i enjoyed this write more like this plz:)

I love what your doing

Writing erotica is no excuse. Get it right already.

1896928 I actually knew about this, it was the first mistake I spotted but forgot to change, thanks for reminding me. :ajsmug:

1896516Sorry, but I didn't want to ruin anything, maybe I will write another series based off this? Depending on how well this does I will think about it.

Nice. Little rough, but pleasantly surprised.

A little rushed with the romance, but still pretty sweet. It does warrant a sequel though where Spike and Rarity DO get together.

Needs more, but it was very enjoyable and quite nicely written. I wouldn't suggest using pussy in narrative though. Also, when refering to someone you need a comma before and after. "Oh, Spike, please don't stop."

Short, simple, enjoyable. I liked that you didn't end on coitus; it's much too cliché. Saw the "it's a dream" coming from a mile away, but it was still effective. Unfortunately, it's not really outstanding in any way.

Overall: Good, but not great. Thumbed up, but not faved.

On the writing: There's rampant comma abuse throughout, but spelling is very good. One mistake: "passed her lips" -> "past her lips" (Explanation.)

1899242 Thanks. I really appreciate your feedback, it helps me for future projects.:moustache:
1899631 Very true, I enjoyed writing that to. Thanks for the "Passed V Past" explanation, I would have never spotted that myself.:heart:

A little rushed but, still nicely writing.
Good Jod!:raritywink:

This is could to be a epilogo for a serie.

AUGH that ending. This is great. Kinda straight to the act, but its got me hooked. Faved and following.
Oh and I vote for a sequel, or continuation, if you're feeling it.

Definitely good... up until the cliched "oh it was all just a wet dream" ending. Next IMO should come part 2 (or chapter 2) where they actually clop clop outside the dream world. If you don't end up writing that... well I really can't do anything except call BS.

2235113 Well the keyword is "Dreams" but I'm feeling nice, check out my latest a blog for more information.

Oh I am sure Rarity is feeling like this right now :flutterrage:!!!

Oh you little tease!! Nice chapter, for a bonus, that is.

Rarity got it bad, for Spike swag!:moustache::raritystarry:

...DAMN!!!

Still a good story.

Spike's swag.:rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild::rainbowwild: Rarity don't can stay dreaming. She have attack.:raritystarry:

Max

I laughed way more than i should.... :rainbowlaugh:

To be trolled by a dream....it happens to us all at some point

i'm afraid if you do this once more your gonna make spike small or something XD

Well... Rarity's got quite the erotic mind when it comes to that dragon.

Aw dang. Dream sucker-punched again. Damn you and you trisker ways!
[shakes eagle-fist at you, then lowers it and hands you a card with a lion paw]
Discord would like to have a word with you...
[throws up a hood and melts into shadows]

2534921 It a give away when you read the title...:ajbemused:

2535507

Noted. But still, there was no real indication of her slipping into her dreams/fantacy, so it's easy to forget.

1896123 If you haven't already, check out the Bonus Chapter.

Draw... Draw... Draw... I feel like I need my editing pen so badly. :twilightangry2:

drawer - a box-shaped container that fits into a piece of furniture in such a way that it can be drawn out horizontally to reach its contents.

withdraw a long black phallus,

verb tense - withdrew

After the fourth mistake in the first 2 paragraphs I stopped. I would highly suggest finding yourself a proofreader or editor so that you can catch these before publishing.

2674187 hey fuck you, I spent hours and hours reading all of my stories, over and over just to make sure I tried my best.

2674402
My apologies, that should have been handled more diplomatically. It's always best to have someone else read over your stories before publishing though. Many times you don't catch your own mistakes, no writer does. Having a different pair of eyes can catch mistakes that your eyes might just glance over, such as the aforementioned 'draw' and verb tense issues.

I think i know whats going on. Princess Luna wants to see some actual SpaRity action, so she sends those dreams to Rarity in order to motivate her. I wonder if Rarity and Spike actually seeing the same dreams simultaneously? That would be a trick.

Rarity should realize that dragon have two phallus.

2811756 that's the point. It's all a dream she doesn't know. I am seriously considering writing another chapter that is NOT a dream.

2815169 You might as well before Rarity dragonapped Spike and does it the sexy way.

2815184 now THAT would be entertaining, right there in the middle of town:rainbowlaugh: Spike going through farmer's market and all he hears is "SPIIIKE!" right before he's jumped

also

raising some kittens that turned out to be baby manticores.

CLASSIC CMC moment

2907969 Yeah, I just thought about anything cute but still in the CMC style of cluelessness. Glad you like it. :pinkiehappy:

At this rate, by the time she's in heat, she'll march straight to the library, drag Spike out of bed and FINALLY get some without being dreamblocked.

Not a bad story good work.

She's gonna end up going crazy if this keeps up.

Would kinda like to see that.

"Oh... It was only a dream." She pouted.

Take the fucking hint! Go find Spike and just do it with him! :trixieshiftright:

LOL:moustache: I just feel on the floor laugh. I always love it when Rar lust after my main man Spike. I want another one. I would love to see one where she ends up day dreaming about him while she is hanging out with her friends.:pinkiehappy:

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