My Little Pony: Return of the Primal Fear

by Lizardsareradical

Guy plus one girl time

Chapter 9: Guy plus one girl time

Coocoodrill, Paramail, Pinkie Pie, and Spike soon found themselves in the bowling alley. They walked into the building and saw all the mares and stallions bowling, playing darts and eating at the snack bar. Some ponies looked up and saw Paramail.

One of them shouted at the top of her lungs in amazement. "OH LUNA! IT'S THE BALD BOWLER OF BRILLIANCE!"

With that, many bowlers galloped towards the teal pegasus, crowding him. Paramail was a bit flustered getting surrounded by all these ponies. They were all complementing him, asking for tips, and he wasn't sure, but "Baldy" thought a mare even asked him out. Spike on the other hand, quickly jumped off Paramail's back and onto Coocoodrill's, who were curious as to why their friend was such a big deal here.

Pinkie decided to discover why and poked a cream colored mare with a blue mane and wearing a bowling shirt. The bowling mare turned around.

"Why's Baldy so famous?" Pinkie innocently asked the mare. The mare turned around.

"Were you living under a rock or something?" The mare asked still giddy with the new arrival. Coocoodrill just nodded to her question. The mare just looked at him funny, and then continued speaking. "Paramail is the only pony here to ever get a perfect score in bowling. How awesome is that?" The bowler then squealed in delight.

"That's SUPERDEETACULAR!" Pinkie told the mare in her usual bubbly attitude.

The cream mare analyzed what the pink earth pony said and then squealed again, pointing at the wall. On that wall was a large picture of Paramail holding up a score sheet with all X's on it standing next to a large trophy in the shape of a gold bowling ball. Pinkie, Coocoo, and Spike then saw a blonde earth pony with a green shirt, a large pony with shades, and a scrawny stallion were all bowing down to the picture. They even saw the ponies give offerings to the picture, which was enough to make Spike cringe.

After a bit, Paramail finished giving autographs and such and headed for the rental counter along with his friends. He was about to put bits on the table, but he was stopped by the mare at the counter. She just smiled to him, with her eyes half closed.

"This game's will on the house champ."

Paramail could only say a grateful "Thank you" to the pony at the counter. The four got their gear and got ready to bowl.

"How did you do that?" Spike asked bewildered by the fact that the teal stallion as he pointed at the picture of "Baldy's" likeness.

Paramail's navy blue tail drooped and his jaw dropped as he saw his worshippers. He slightly turned away and began to explain.

"Well Spike. You know how Rainbow Dash is really fast and Applejack is really strong?"

Spike nodded, still paying attention.

"I have the luck to see very well. I can see the detail of things, even if they are one hundred meters away. It also helps with my aim and such. In fact, you should see my darts trophy."

The pegasus stallion pointed to the other side of the bowling alley, where there were dart boards. Within a glass wall was a picture of Paramail holding a trophy shaped like a dart. Behind him was a dart board with a true bullseye dart in the center. The remaining darts were stuck behind the previous dart and then the previous dart before. So in short, it was pretty much a line of darts heading towards the bullseye. Spike was awestruck.

"H-how do I get a good as you?" Spike asked the bowling/dart master with his hands together. "What is your secret?"

The pegasus thought for a minute, and then answered with a smile. "You know, eat you carrots. They're good for your eyes."

Spike just looked down is disappointment. Vegetable? BLECH!

Out from right behind them, Coocoodrill and Pinkie Pie exclaimed "BOWLING TIME!". Paramail just jumped ten feet into the air.

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One hour later, all four of them were still bowling. Paramail kept getting strikes, causing a crowd of ponies to go wild. Spike can tell he was beginning to like the attention as he saw him do more fancy tricks.

Spike was doing okay, nothing special. He had a gutterball, three splits and one spare. Pinkie Pie was surprisingly good at bowling, getting four strikes, three spares and one split. A little practice, she would be great. Coocoodrill on the other hand only got gutters or one or two pins at best. The green unicorn didn't seem to care though. He was much too busy having fun.

In fact, the whole "guy time" group was enjoying themselves. They talked about random things such as if they ever ate heart ruby before and discussed current events such as the disappearance of the frogpony. But as Paramail was aiming his bowling ball for a solid strike, Coocoodrill called out.

"So does anybody here have any crushes?" The green unicorn asked the group as he and Pinkie feasted on nachos. He thought such a question was "guy time" material.

Paramail stumbled with his aim and fell over, getting a gutterball for his last shot, missing a perfect game. The crowd of bowlers glared daggers at the unicorn, who just smiled sheepishly, his face covered in nacho cheese. Spike and the prone Parmail just raised their hands.

"Who is it kiddo?" Coocoo asked the dragon as he leaned back in his seat, paying full attention.

Spike took a deep breath, trying to gain confidence. "Rarity." He admitted, looking at his feet.

Pinkie Pie, Paramail, and Coocoodrill looked at the dragon and gasped in surprise. I knew it. Paramail thought in his mind as he got up.

"But I already told you Pinkie." Spike reminded the mare.

"Oh yeah! Silly me!" Pinkie said cheerfully as she turned towards Paramail. "You're turn Pary!"

The teal pony began to sweat as he saw the entire crowd of bowlers around him. It would be enough to tell his three friends, but with all these ponies, who knew how long someone spilled the beans? So he walked up to Coocoo and Pinkie and signaled Spike to come over. He then noticed that the crowd of bowlers was listening intently, so he waved a hand and his fans moved away in respect. He then took a couple of breathing sessions before admitting his secret.

"IhaveacrushonFluttershy!" Paramail quickly admitted. It took Spike a while to process what he said but the other two ponies reacted as if they understood perfectly.

"Fluttershy?" Pinkie Pie asked still shocked at the revelation. But she was curious as to why.

"Why is that?" Coocoodrill asked twirling his hoof, encouraging his maneless friend to elaborate.

Paramail just put his hooves to his heart and began staring into space. He then began to speak in a soothing voice.

"To be honest, I've had this crush since school. Sure we only shared flight class but I just felt…my heart beat when she was around."

Spike almost gagged.

"She might have been shy, but she was and is still so beautiful. Her bright eye that gleamed like sapphires. Her pink, flowing mane that reminded me of the most magnificent tulips. Her yellow coat the color of the sand on the beach. And how her innocence and purity rivals that of the even the Princesses themselves. Along with how she treats each and every animal as if they were her children." He then made a loving sigh. "Such a wonderful mare."

Spike and Pinkie just looked at one another, both thinking how cheesy that whole speech sounded. Coocoodrill got back to reality and since he didn't hear a thing, decided to humble the pegasus by complementing him.

"Uhhhhh?" The eccentric unicorn spoke up. "That's like…your opinion man." His eyes started shifting around. "And it's a fine…opinion."

Paramail just took a breath of relief and spoke up. "Well!" He started to laugh to himself. "That was a load off. Only other person who knows is RD."

"I knew."

The voice in the background alarmed the teal pony. He looked around and saw Rainbow Dash. He then wiped the sweat off his brow.

"Just playing with you Baldy." Rainbow Dash assured her fellow pegasus as she chuckled, patting his shoulder.

"HEYA DASHIE!" Pinkie and Coocoo called out to her with their mouths full of nachos.

"Heya Rainbow Dash." Spike called out waving at her. "You go here too?"

The cyan pegasus just shrugged. "Not really. I'm just here to find Pin..."

Before she could finish her sentence, the pink earth pony was right next to her.

RD rolled her eyes, remembering Pinkie logic. "Anyways, I was totally thinking we could prank Rarity."

"HOW?" Pinkie exclaimed while jumping up and down.

Rainbow hovered closer to Pinkie to whisper to her. "I found "Tom" and I also found a ton of paint. I was just going to ask if you would help me make "Tom" look like a huge diamond. Then we set it in front of her house, sent as "Your secret admirer". Then when she get closer, she'll find out that it was "Tom". Then she'll freak. It'll be sweet."

"IN!" Pinkie called out. "But who's Tom again?"

Rainbow just facehoofed. "You'll find out."

"OKIE DOKIE LOKIE!" Pinkie then turned to Coocoodrill, Paramail, and Spike. "SEE YA SOON! HAVE FUN WITH "GUY TIME"!" Pinkie then hopped off with Rainbow Dash. The guys just waved back.

"Now what?" Spike asked Coocoodrill, wondering what the crazed pony was thinking of next.

Coocoodrill just patted the dragon's head. "Spike my boy. Now…we feast." He spoke in a rough cockney accent, pointing towards the exit.

Paramail and Spike nodded in agreement and they walked to the exit. The bowlers chanted "BALD BOWLER OF BRILLIANCE" as they left to eat.

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Meanwhile at Fluttershy's cottage, Fluttershy just calmly watched as the Cutie Mark Crusaders were eating dinner after work. Work wasn't a nightmare as expected, but they weren't earning their cutie marks today. Scootaloo got trapped in the chicken coop. Applebloom fell into the water as she was trying to feed the otters. Sweetie Belle had to be rescued when she somehow got trapped on the back of the elephant, she didn't want to question how. But none of the fillies wanted to go near the cobra den for some reason, so she had to do that part alone.

Out in the corner of her eye, she saw Applejack walking towards the cottage, almost stepping in some "cow pie". She walked over to Fluttershy.

"Hey there Fluttershy. How have they behaved?" Applejack asked knowing completely well that the three fillies were a handful.

"They did just fine." Fluttershy told her with an innocent smile. Applejack just grinned and raised and eyebrow.

"Ya telling the truth there?"

Fluttershy just rolled her eyes, still smiling. She then spoke softly. "Okay you got me. They did below average. But it's okay."

Applejack playfully elbowed the yellow mare. "Can't lie to me Sugarcube. Sometimes you are just too nice for yer own good." Fluttershy just shrugged, still in a good mood.

Applejack then saw the three finishing off their flower sandwich. The Element of Honesty then called out. "Hey girls! Time to go home now!"

"Okay AJ!" Applebloom called back as she got up from the table. The other two followed shortly after.

Sweetie Belle then turned back toward Fluttershy. "Same time tomorrow?"

"No thanks. I have somebody else coming around tomorrow to help." Fluttershy insisted in her soft tone.

"Who's coming over?" Applejack asked curiously.

"Our new friend Paramail, the Element of Caring." Fluttershy answered her friend still in her good mood.

Scootaloo blabbed her mouth open. "Hey I know that pony! I heard Rainbow Dash say that he totally got…" Her mouth was muffled by Applejack.

"Now we don't gossip about others. Ya understand little lady?" Applejack told the young pegasus in a calm but stern manner. Scootaloo just nodded.

Applejack and the Cutie Mark Crusaders then left, waving goodbye to Fluttershy. The Element of Kindness then went into her cottage to make Angel and herself dinner. When she made herself a flower sandwich and gave Angel a carrot, she spoke up to the rabbit.

"So Scootaloo said that Paramail got something. I'm not the one to gossip, but what do you think?" Fluttershy asked the rabbit as she thought to herself.

Angel just rolled his eyes and then pointed to the top of his head.

"No mane?" Fluttershy asked.

Angel nodded.

Fluttershy thought for a bit then shrugged. "Well I guess Scootaloo is a little Captain Obvious then." She then giggled to herself and then took a bite of her meal. Angel just sighed in relief and then began to nibble on his carrot.

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Fifteen minutes later, Applejack had just dropped off Scootlaoo and Sweetie, along with making Applebloom start her homework from Cheerilee. She then went over to Granny Smith's room, intending to ask her about the blue boy from the picture.

Unfortunately, she found Granny fast asleep in bed. Not wanting to disturb her, she closed the door and went to find her brother. He must have been around during the young colt's birth, so maybe he would know. She looked around the house and saw her brother eating some apple pie.

She walked up to him and took the picture of the Berry family out and showed it to him.

"Macintosh."

The large stallion looked up at his sister.

Applejack placed the picture on the table so her brother can see. "Do you know who this is?"

"Eeyup."

"Great! Who is it?" AJ asked almost giddy.

"Why that's Auntie Razzi and Uncle Bluebarry. I thought of all people you'd know."

Applejack just rolled her eyes and pointed to the blue colt. Big Macintosh just shook his head.

"Nnope."

Applejack sighed and left her brother to finish his pie. She then went up to her room and placed the picture at her bedside.

"Who are you?" Applejack asked the foal in the picture.

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An few hours later, Coocoodrill was trotting home with Spike on his back. Paramail left after dinner, saying he had a long day of work with Fluttershy tomorrow. So the two went to the local batting station and hit some baseballs, along with playing catch. Now the green unicorn was just dropping Spike off to Twilight's house.

When they got to the tree, Coocoo knocked on the door. After a bit, Twilight Sparkle opened the door. She was glaring at Spike with one of her forehooves tapping on the floor.

"Spike? Where were you?" Twilight asked still looking still staring at the dragon angrily.

"Guy time." Spike answered quite intimidated. He hated it when Twilight was angry.

Twilight just looked at the dragon in disbelief. "Guy time?"

"Yeah! With me, Spike, Paramail, Pinkie Pie. I insisted he'd come with us." Coocoodrill spoke up unaware of the mare's mood.

Twilight looked at the stallion and gestured Spike to get inside. When he went inside, she walked towards Coocoo slowly.

"You just brought him along without asking me?" Twilight asked him trying to control her anger.

Coocoodrill felt a bit uneasy now and just nodded with a weak smile.

Twilight stomped a hoof. "I NEEDED…!" She then stopped to try and compose herself. "I mean, I needed him here after Rarity. I had to reorganize the books, feed Owlowiscious, clean the dust off of the shelves and polish the globe all by myself."

Coocoodrill took a breath and calmly spoke up. "I'm sorry Twi. But I just thought it was a good idea for him to hang out with other guys. I believe it's necessary to his childhood development to hang around with people of his own gender once in a while." He then stepped away from the purple unicorn.

Twilight couldn't believe what he just heard. "Since when did you think you could consider what he needs?" She started to get mad again.

"Since I learned that he lived with you." Coocoodrill answered back raising his voice. "In a way, I see him as a son. And he did say that he never hung out with many guys." He felt himself getting angry.

"Do you even hear what your saying?" Twilight questioned him, also raising her voice.

Coocoodrill just looked away and quickly muttered. "Iwantadivorce."

The angry mare didn't understand what he just said. "What did you just say?"

"I…want…a divorce." Coocoodrill rudely said right in her face.

"We're not married." Twilight told him, getting into his face.

"Well then I'm breaking up with you."

"We're not a couple!"

"WELL THEN YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE!" The stallion shouted at her enraged to his highest point. He then turned around and trotted into his underground house. As he opened the door, he blew the purple mare a raspberry before slamming the door.

Twilight quickly calmed down from the argument. She actually felt hurt. Sure she never had many friends, but never before has somebody said to her they weren't friends anymore. Nevertheless have them scream it right in her face. She just quietly closed the door.

When she looked up at Spike, she saw him in his sleeping basket turned away from her. She heard him mutter something about Coocoodrill being more fun than her and how much of a bore she was. She just looked down in sadness and went to her bed. She got under the covers and looked at Spike with remorse.

"Good night Spike." Twilight told the dragon in a fruitless cause to make amends.

The baby dragon didn't even bother to answer her. That was when Twilight felt her eyes get teary and she sniffled. She then closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep. Hopefully, tomorrow would be better. Before she went to sleep, she promised herself not to do anything involving Cosmus/Screameater.