Merge

by William w2

Chapter 4: Over the Top

Chapter 4
Equestria
Over the top
Everypony felt the earth shake and the ground shiver, but much milder than expected. They all waited a few miniutes more as the ground proceeded to heave up one last afterquake .
"Now was that what all this darn fuss was about?! A little ol' earthquake?" A disgruntled Applejack said.
"Just wait for a little longer, everypony, at least untill we know it is safe." Twilight said as the group was starting to move around.
A few minutes later, Twilight wandered over to the window to take a peek outside. She fell back with a gasp and started to point her hoof at the window. Everypony slowly started to wander over, making sure to avoid the babbling pony. What the saw shocked them. It was a picture of nothing that blanketed the outskirts of the yard. It went on both ways forever, untill it went out of sight. It wasn't white nor black, it was just....nothing.
"Hey, everypony, look! There's another pony lying in the grass out there!" Said a shocked, but controlled Applejack.
Twilight immediately sat up, already recovering from her shock of seeing what she predicted to happen actually being there. She got up and went to the door and proceeded to open it. She gasped again and ran at full gallop at the figure lying on the grass near the wall of nothing.

* * *
I opened my eyes slowly. Geez! It was so bright! I brought up my hands to rub my..... What the fuck?! I tried to open my eyes more after feeling something hard knock against my face. I rubbed my face with my arm, trying to soothe the pain in my nose. Wait....something didn't quite feel right....
I bolted open my eyes fully as I saw what were (or was) my arms. They were a lot more circular than I remembered them. And a hell of a lot hairier! I followed my arm down to my....hand? It sure didn't look like a hand.
Then I heard a gentle cough from behind me.
I quickly turned my head to see the source of the noise. It was a....purple horse? What the hell?!
She gave me a thoughtful look and got up and walked around me, studying every inch that she could see.
"Where are you from?" She whispered quietly.
"AAAAHHHH!!!" A scream emanated from my throat before I could stop it.
"Woah! Calm down, calm down!" The purple horse thing said,"I'm not going to hurt you!"
I slowly let the scream die down as I slowly started to calm down. I looked at the horse, trying to figure out why she sparked some bell in the back of my mind.
"H-how c-can I unders-stand y-you?" I asked bewilderedly.
"Oh, so you can speak! That's great!" It said non-sarcasticly.
"Of c-course I can speak! How can I understand you I mean!" I asked, feeling panic start to slowly ebb away.
"I don't know..." She said, slightly saddened. This was something she didn't have in her books.
I looked at her and she looked at me. We were both wondering what the other was thinking.
"Now, the easiest way we can get through this is if we talk through it. Itll make it harder on both of us if we ask questions to things we don't know where we're at in it." She suggested.
"Alright, first question. Where am I?" I asked, slightly rushed.
"You're in Equestria. This town your in is called-"
"Ponyville." I interrupted in a calm voice.
She was startled."Wait, how did you know that?"
I was starting to come back from my shock."And your name is Twilight Sparkle!"
"H-how could you possibly know these things?! I've never met, nor seen you around Ponyville before." She said very shakenly.
"Oh no. Oooh noo." I said nervously.
"What is it?" Twilight asked.
"So what you're saying is that I am in Equestria, in Ponyville to be exact? And I'm being talked to by you, Twilight Sparkle." I said after a short pause.
"Yes. You never did answer my question." She said.
"And what is that?" I asked.
"How do you know all this stuff?" She asked.
I sat back for a second to think and then looked back at her. "Do you want to know?" She nodded."Alright, I'll tell you. It's gonna be a long story, though.

Author's Note:

This was as close as I could get to my first drafts original story as I could remember.

Comments

[Focusphobia]

Keep up the good work.

[SunsetyDays]

Sounds... I don't know. Inb4 Regidar.

[Regidar]

1784005 Fuck off.

[A mess]

1784114

[Regidar]

1784190 No, I'm going to get banned because of idiots like him.

[A mess]

1784196
ah, hadn't thought of that....

[Regidar]

1784200 At least when I get first comment I'm productive, not just for the sake of beating others there. I only do this because everyone deserves at least one view and one comment.

[A mess]

1784267
Yup, even if super sort or just a gif. I can't recall the post ever not having at least something to do with the story.

And as for the story it was... how do I put this?
Both a delight and a real pain to read. I like the concept and the "poetry" and flow of it were nice but there were tons of "wrinkles".

For one thing its generally not a good idea to use parenthesizes or put yourself in situations where parenthesizes are needed in a story as it breaks up the flow. Another thing is that many points were repeated needlessly, such as where it was mentioned that spike was sleeping twice or where Twilight urgently told spike to hurry. I know the second example wasn't exactly repeated by the same narration but something about it felt off none the less, perhaps there could be another way to word it?

[Regidar]

See, the thing here... why is this a crossover, and why is there no "human" tag?
1784338 Agreed.

[William w2]

1784338 yeah I'll look into that. Thanks for all the comments! Good or bad. It'll be awhile before I will put the next chapter so don't worry If I don't post for a while.