Botched an italics transition, messed up the entire last section of the fic. Oooor…. maybe not. Better not spoil the moment when we can finally talk. I know the tone of voice she's using and I like where this is going.[/] Namely, you didn't put an I in the closer here.
Hmmm... I guess I can kinda see what's going on with Shining Armors sexuality. After being raped by Chrysalis, he felt so powerless that he now wants to gain that power and control back. In his dreams and fantasies, he has been very dominant and the mares very submissive but I can not see him freely admitting that this is how he would prefer it at the moment.
Yaay, resolution! And Cadance finally realizes that trying to swim upstream against De Nile isn't helping at all. Although that really kinky clop kinda came out of left field, and I've got all sorts of weird feels if I think that Luna might have been involved in that .
I like the little descriptions of the different kinds of silences that you've been dropping throughout the story, they've been a nice distraction from the roller-coaster of trauma-feels that the plot has been. Can't wait for the next chapter, I'm really interested in how the group therapy session goes. Or at least seeing how Cadance has been dealing with Sassy Swallow (still love that name ).
This emotional chapter was really good and it actually brought tears to my eyes but that clop scene at the beginning lasted a little to long for my taste, it doesn't help that S & M doesn't do it for me. Other that that this was a great chapter, Shiny and Cady have taken the first step together and now they'll a hard way ahead of them but unlike before now they know that they have each other for support
My goodness that was a very... Exciting opening... This chapter turned out great, and it's wonderful to finally see them opening up to each other, it looks like now the healing can begin!
Back there in the cloppity part, it seems you may have been a wee bit distracted because you start to loose track of whose actions belong to whom. It wasn't enough to ruin the excitement, but it got a little confusing a couple of times.
All in all, I would fav and upvote the chapter, except I already have... So, moustache!
2756535 Nope. I write in English. It's just that I miss the difference often when I have to use him/her his/hers she/he several times in the same sentence, because it would be written differently in Finnish. Because, well, we couldn't use the same word for two people, we need to work around it. Just think how hard it would be if every person pronoun available to you in prose was 'he', regardless of gender. That's... Finnish.
We also don't have prepositions, instead changing the end of the words, and the writing depending on the ending, and and... Let's just say it's enough to drive every single foreigner nuts for trying to learn Finnish. English is SO EASY compared to it. And I always had to read everything in English because of the crappy translations that came YEARS after the original publication. And many of the academic books are in English, because we're such a tiny country that it doesn't pay enough to translate major tomes that deal with very limited fields of study.
Oh god that sex scene was extreamly arousing I had to throw of all of my clothes and jack off instantly it was so well written that as I continued my vigorous masturbation session I found my self actually being very impressed.
As the scene drew to a close I could feel my orgasm looming in and came with the force of a thousand suns al over the floor
I won't be allowed back into that Starbucks ever agian but it was worth it
2756558 No worries; I appreciated the rant Finnish sounds like hell the way you describe it, but I suppose our two languages are so different you can't really compare them... Either way, I'm certainly glad you chose English, because your writing is fantastic, even if he's a she.
Keep at it, good sir, and have an applejack. (AJ's best mare)
What I love about this chapter is how it's not a resolution. It's the beginning of one. Shining is finally doing the right things, but it's still hard for him, and his body still isn't under his control.
Cadance is not in outright denial, but is still hanging on to minimisation. There's also something fascinating about how she is unsatisfied with Sassy Swallow, in contrast to the progress that Shining has made. Shiny and Cady still have a long way to go for a meeting of the minds. Though with the pineapple chocolate bit the author may be driving the point a little too hard. Yes, we get the symbolism there. It's nice, just keep it subtle.
This chapter is about imperfection and hope. I loved reading it, from beginning to end. The cloppy bit at the beginning was... not bad. THe conversation was cathartic because we see, for perhaps the first time, Shining Armor being assertive and holding his own mentally and emotionally. Even the panic attack, while physically crippling, isn't enough to shut him down. He recovers, he regains control. He admits to being a rape victim in the same breath he commands Cadance to stand with him to face their problems.
I lost quite a bit of respect for Shining Armor over the course of this story.
Out of curiosity, did you know about Cadance's pegasus history before starting this chapter? I only found out about her little book a week or so ago and it's been an effort to readjust my head canon.
Your sex scenes are very psychological, I suppose, for lack of a better word. They put an interesting spin on Shining's mental state. I also particularly like that Cadance tries to keep up appearances as a "lady" even after she's married. Women sometimes, right?
2759446 Not slowing it down at all. Reading good stuff is inspiration; it urges me on.
2759528 I focus on critique because, as I said, problems stand out all the more in a story this great. This chapter, though, I couldn't even find anything to bitch about. How about that?
If you want criticism, write some more about the maids.
Finally, Cadence and Sining have hit the problem on the head. They ain't finished hammering it home yet, but they at least know what is wrong and appear to be getting somewhere.
Whoo! They talked! They finally talked! Because evidently the last chapter doesn't count or something! But you know what I mean! Point is, last chapter they opened the doors, but this is where they finally hit the heart of the issue. For both of them. I think Shining is right. I think they are gonna be okay.
2774988 You wish. Next chapter Chrysalis returns and rapes Twily disguised as Shiny. Twily confronts Shiny who doesn't understand the whole thing. Twily takes her own life. Broken, Shining Armor kills himself, and then Cadance finds him dead and kills herself. Rocks fall, everypony dies. The End.
Another good one. Now please excuse me while I try to undo the emotional stress this story has caused me. :P
You're missing an ' i ' in here.
God to see the two of them finally starting to admit their problems, now they need to fix them too.
Botched an italics transition, messed up the entire last section of the fic.
Oooor…. maybe not. Better not spoil the moment when we can finally talk. I know the tone of voice she's using and I like where this is going.[/]
Namely, you didn't put an I in the closer here.
2755059 Yeah yeah. Adding those manually really sucks. Too much inner monologuing.
Yay, the italics have been fixed! Now I can read the last half without paranoia of it being a dream or whatnot :D
Wow. Another good one for this one.
And dat song! DAMN.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Hmmm... I guess I can kinda see what's going on with Shining Armors sexuality. After being raped by Chrysalis, he felt so powerless that he now wants to gain that power and control back. In his dreams and fantasies, he has been very dominant and the mares very submissive but I can not see him freely admitting that this is how he would prefer it at the moment.
The problem is not over. I was hoping Shining Armor tries to be dominant since he had morning wood by dreaming he was in control.
Dat final section...
Um? Not really sure what happened to this poor little sentence...seizure, perhaps?
I think one of those 'she's is supposed to be referring to a different character, no? perhaps one of the male persuasion?
there was another misidentified gender pronoun shortly after that, but I lost it
This never ceases to impress, the quality of your psyching is astounding.
It's here!
awesome... just... awesome!!!!!!!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdgroj2kGc1r0pbtro3_500.gif
Clop and Feels? Perfect combination
Yaay, resolution! And Cadance finally realizes that trying to swim upstream against De Nile isn't helping at all. Although that really kinky clop kinda came out of left field, and I've got all sorts of weird feels if I think that Luna might have been involved in that .
I like the little descriptions of the different kinds of silences that you've been dropping throughout the story, they've been a nice distraction from the roller-coaster of trauma-feels that the plot has been. Can't wait for the next chapter, I'm really interested in how the group therapy session goes. Or at least seeing how Cadance has been dealing with Sassy Swallow (still love that name ).
This emotional chapter was really good and it actually brought tears to my eyes but that clop scene at the beginning lasted a little to long for my taste, it doesn't help that S & M doesn't do it for me. Other that that this was a great chapter, Shiny and Cady have taken the first step together and now they'll a hard way ahead of them but unlike before now they know that they have each other for support
It lives!!
Damn does it ever.
Yay! Update!
This was a great chapter. Glad to see the problems are out in the open, now let's see how future therapy goes.
looks like things are going to wrap up just nicely
2756368 That would just be too easy, now wouldn't it?
2756424 wrapping it up in just the first couple of chapters would have been too easy, i like stuff spread out and given time and care.
2756460 If it wasn't clear yet, I don't want to hurry at all. Just a simple misunderstanding and fixing it up took 30k words.
My goodness that was a very... Exciting opening...
This chapter turned out great, and it's wonderful to finally see them opening up to each other, it looks like now the healing can begin!
Back there in the cloppity part, it seems you may have been a wee bit distracted because you start to loose track of whose actions belong to whom. It wasn't enough to ruin the excitement, but it got a little confusing a couple of times.
All in all, I would fav and upvote the chapter, except I already have... So, moustache!
2756500 Finnish doesn't have a difference between him/her. Also my editor missed them so them's the taters.
2756496 by all means take your time
2756512 I did not know that
Do you write in Finnish and then have it translated then?
2756535 Nope. I write in English. It's just that I miss the difference often when I have to use him/her his/hers she/he several times in the same sentence, because it would be written differently in Finnish. Because, well, we couldn't use the same word for two people, we need to work around it. Just think how hard it would be if every person pronoun available to you in prose was 'he', regardless of gender. That's... Finnish.
We also don't have prepositions, instead changing the end of the words, and the writing depending on the ending, and and... Let's just say it's enough to drive every single foreigner nuts for trying to learn Finnish. English is SO EASY compared to it. And I always had to read everything in English because of the crappy translations that came YEARS after the original publication. And many of the academic books are in English, because we're such a tiny country that it doesn't pay enough to translate major tomes that deal with very limited fields of study.
So... uh... Rant much, Issey?
Oh god that sex scene was extreamly arousing I had to throw of all of my clothes and jack off instantly it was so well written that as I continued my vigorous masturbation session I found my self actually being very impressed.
As the scene drew to a close I could feel my orgasm looming in and came with the force of a thousand suns al over the floor
I won't be allowed back into that Starbucks ever agian but it was worth it
Hopefully the healing can now truly begin.
"But the point is, I wanted to be with people"
I think you meant "ponies".
Excellent chapter as always, perhaps they can actually work on their issues now that they're out in the open.
*Gets to the ending* Ah, what a wonderful ending to a story. It all worked out, he finally told her how he felt and now there's closure.
*Checks status. Sees 'incomplete'. AWWWWW YEAH!
2756558 No worries; I appreciated the rant
Finnish sounds like hell the way you describe it, but I suppose our two languages are so different you can't really compare them...
Either way, I'm certainly glad you chose English, because your writing is fantastic, even if he's a she.
Keep at it, good sir, and have an applejack.
(AJ's best mare)
Nice conduction on the whole chapter
What I love about this chapter is how it's not a resolution. It's the beginning of one. Shining is finally doing the right things, but it's still hard for him, and his body still isn't under his control.
Cadance is not in outright denial, but is still hanging on to minimisation. There's also something fascinating about how she is unsatisfied with Sassy Swallow, in contrast to the progress that Shining has made. Shiny and Cady still have a long way to go for a meeting of the minds. Though with the pineapple chocolate bit the author may be driving the point a little too hard. Yes, we get the symbolism there. It's nice, just keep it subtle.
This chapter is about imperfection and hope. I loved reading it, from beginning to end. The cloppy bit at the beginning was... not bad. THe conversation was cathartic because we see, for perhaps the first time, Shining Armor being assertive and holding his own mentally and emotionally. Even the panic attack, while physically crippling, isn't enough to shut him down. He recovers, he regains control. He admits to being a rape victim in the same breath he commands Cadance to stand with him to face their problems.
I lost quite a bit of respect for Shining Armor over the course of this story.
This is how he gets it back.
Love it.
ETA: 1000th comment!
2756690 Gross..... but funny.
2756690
Ha ha, oh dear God...
Talk about extra cream in one's coffee...
2758333 It's not symbolism. I just hate pineapple chocolates. And I know many people who do. Urgh.
Also getting positive feedback from you and not just mollifying critique? I must be doing something wrong...
2757356 Face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fuck.
Well, things appear to be getting better, but I'm still waiting for the waterfall at the end of the peaceful stream
Out of curiosity, did you know about Cadance's pegasus history before starting this chapter? I only found out about her little book a week or so ago and it's been an effort to readjust my head canon.
Your sex scenes are very psychological, I suppose, for lack of a better word. They put an interesting spin on Shining's mental state. I also particularly like that Cadance tries to keep up appearances as a "lady" even after she's married. Women sometimes, right?
2759902 Yeah I read it before writing the previous chapter. I even wrote a review of the book, cos I liked it so much.
2759446 Not slowing it down at all. Reading good stuff is inspiration; it urges me on.
2759528 I focus on critique because, as I said, problems stand out all the more in a story this great. This chapter, though, I couldn't even find anything to bitch about. How about that?
If you want criticism, write some more about the maids.
2760197 Err... like the first third of the chapter which was the maids having sex with Shiny?
2760538 The real harpy maids, not Shiny's-fantasy-maids.
Although, if the real Broomy and Dusty end up getting spanked like that, you'll have nothing but my approval.
Finally, Cadence and Sining have hit the problem on the head. They ain't finished hammering it home yet, but they at least know what is wrong and appear to be getting somewhere.
2768415 Who's Carl Rogers?
What is client-centered therapy?
I is confuzzled
Whoo!
They talked!
They finally talked!
Because evidently the last chapter doesn't count or something!
But you know what I mean!
Point is, last chapter they opened the doors, but this is where they finally hit the heart of the issue. For both of them. I think Shining is right. I think they are gonna be okay.
2774988 You wish. Next chapter Chrysalis returns and rapes Twily disguised as Shiny. Twily confronts Shiny who doesn't understand the whole thing. Twily takes her own life. Broken, Shining Armor kills himself, and then Cadance finds him dead and kills herself. Rocks fall, everypony dies. The End.
2774997
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3432-why_would_you_post_that.gif
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9095-princess_coronation_predictions_by_docwario-d5smfge.jpg
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4918-tumblr_lsgqq07yn31r3k1m8o1_500.png
Look at what you did to Pinkie!
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8158-____kepp_me_in_your_heart______by_crenair-d5h7ydx.png
2775004
Oh grow up.