How 'Bout Them Apples, Boy?

by Cold Snap

Chapter 1: AAAH! Ah Ain't Got No Fingers!

I mumbled in my bed, laying on my left side, comforter and extra blanket wrapped around me tightly like a cocoon, when I woke up. I'd always felt most comfortable surrounded by soft fabric all over me; the touch of pressure all over me helped me relax.

Come on, up and at 'em, soldier, brand new day ahead...

...Up and at 'em? Since when do I...oh, whatever, I'm off today...just relax...

For once, my cat (an orphaned “tortoiseshell”) wasn't lying next to me. Normally she was the clingy type when it came time to get to bed, but I didn't mind this absence; it meant she wasn't waking me up at 5:00 AM by pouncing on me from above.

Man, I don't want to get up right now...too comfortable...

And then she starts batting at my hair from behind. That's never happened before...now, I knew I needed a haircut soon, but I also knew that my hair wasn't that long.

Weird...oh well, not so bad, now back to sleep...get this out of her way...

I roll over, and...wow, these covers felt heavier than I thought, and...uh, where are my hands? I rub my eyes, and let out a tiny squeal of pain as something hard hits my face. Wait, hard?

Ow...the heck was that about? This some new version of that shaving-cream-on-hand thing?...Bwuh?

I gasp as my eyelids snap open wide like an old window shade. My fingers were gone. Heck, my hand was gone. In its place was an orange...stump. Covered in orange fur, and having a hard bottom, right after where the wrist would be...my other hand was no different.

The hell is this?! I don't...feel anything! No wriggling of fingers or anything! What's going on?!...Am I dreaming?

It sure doesn't look like I'm dreaming. I can make out every detail on everything in this messy room...actually, messy is an understatement. It's a long story, but there's actually a reason there's so much stuff in here...what's harder to explain is the memory-foam mattress laying on top of it all. But that's beside the point. The point is, while I've been a lot of things in dreams, everything I've ever been was human...

Okay, this is just weird. Plus, if I know I'm dreaming, shouldn't there be some really hot woman around? Maybe more? I mean, lucid dreaming makes you the God of your own little world, doesn't it?

I try to kick my sheets off, but they move a lot less than expected. And that's when I see the rest of me: my legs have gotten a LOT shorter, and my knees were bending backwards! And they were covered in orange fur too! And my body was...so much smaller. I couldn't have been more than three feet long, at most.

Oh shoot oh shoot oh shoot

And then I see my tail under me. It's yellow...no, blonde. And near the bottom of the length, it's tied. My cat starts to hiss at me from my right. I can quickly see why: the thing she had been batting at had moved. In fact, it was attached to my head.

“Uh, Minnie, what're--”

My eyes pop open again. My orange stumps rush to cover my mouth. That wasn't my voice. That wasn't even a male voice. And my accent isn't THAT thick...or noticeable at all, really.

Suddenly I'm too shocked to think.

I feel my face. My nose and mouth are sticking out in a weird way. Closing my eyes, I can feel that they're huge. Almost like an anime character...my ears are gone. No, wait, there they are...on top of my head? And they're all fuzzy and shaped weird!

And since when do I sleep with a hat on? Or wear hats at all?

And then I put two and two together. That press conference, that weird TV and internet news: That wasn't viral marketing. It was really happening. And now it got to me.

I lean off the side of the bed to look at the dresser mirror on the opposite wall.

That was not Matthew Harrison that I saw.

That was Applejack.

I scream like a little girl. It's brief, but all my fear is concentrated in that one yell.

And that brought my brother running.

Panicking, not wanting him to see what had happened to me, I rushed under my blankets and curled up in what I can only assume was the equine version of the fetal position. Hearing his unmistakable thumping footsteps upon the carpet-less floor of our hallway, I shiver in terrifying anticipation of what is to come.

He opens the door. He apparently looks around. “Matthew?” It doesn't take him long to notice the quivering lump under the blankets. I can hear him coming on the carpet...

Please, whatever gods will listen, please let it be that I really am dreaming, and this whole thing with Lauren Faust, Tara Strong, the press conference, and all those convincing-looking live-action pony videos on YouTube was just a really well-done campaign of viral marketing for the new season...

My hopes got peeled away along with the blankets.

Mark, my skinny younger brother, lets out a scream of his own. My eyes are jammed shut; I'm too scared to open them again, for fear of facing not only my brother, but eventually my mother and...my stepfather.

Mark is hesitant to talk, as most people would be. His voice cracks a little. “A-Applejack...? What the hell?!”

I let out a small whine. I so want to cry right now...against all sorts of odds, this had to happen to me.

I can hear Mark running to one of the bathrooms to get a cordless home phone. This is what makes me speak up at last, out of fear of my parents finding out. “NO! Don't...please, Mark, leave 'em alone! Don't call 'em!”

That was the final proof. I even had that thick Tennessee accent. Despite born and raised in Texas and living here my entire life, I've never had a stereotypical Southern accent, and neither has my mother. Now, I stand out vocally...of course, there are other ways I stand out, such as being a small orange pony with a blonde mane and tail. That talks. At all.

Thankfully, he does stop, though not in time to keep him from getting the phone in his hand. He asks “Huh? Wait, you know my name?” He comes back in, but brings the phone with him.

I wince at the choice I have to make...but something within me pushes myself to tell the truth. Not that hiding it would have done much good here anyway.

“Mark...it's me. Matthew...your brother...”

He comes very, very close to dropping the phone out of his hand, like someone who's stereotypically shocked beyond voluntary muscle function. My eyes still shut, I hear him come up to me...and hug me.

That was the first time he'd ever done that. He never initiated these. He actually looked like he was about to cry.

He asks me “Oh man, I...I can't believe this...all that stuff was real?”

Mark, unlike myself (pre-pony), is a rather skinny guy. I can feel his elbow bones push into me. “Ow, that hurts, Mark...”

He eases up after I say that. “Oh, sorry...just...oh my God, that whole thing--”

“Y-yeah, yeah, ah...ah know...b-but it really is me, I swear. Yer the one rantin' an' ravin' 'bout how great yer annie-may DVDs are.” Saying the word 'anime' like that makes me pause. “...Oh good gawd, did ah really say it lahk that?”

Mark's the kind of guy who would nitpick about how to pronounce certain things, like days of the week. However, this time, he apparently realizes that some things are more important, like possibly never seeing his brother as he'd known him for so many years ever again. Which would explain why he's not saying anything...he slowly breaks off the hug.

I slowly open my eyes...I was right. He looks both shocked and sad, like a great tragedy had happened. And one basically had. I tell him with a quivering voice “P-please, don't call Mom or Dad...w-we need to...hang on a minute...”

He says “They are so gonna freak. They didn't know you were even watching that show!”

That was true. I had been hiding my viewership of that wonderful series from them. I'd only been a “brony” for about a month by this point. I was forced to watch the YouTube uploads of the episodes, since my stepfather would never, ever let me live it down if he caught me watching what he thinks is just another little girl's show. He really, really hated animation; he called Young Justice a “baby cartoon.” I dared not find out what he would think about what was, for over twenty-five years, considered the prime example of the overly-girly, frou-frou show: an image and reputation that no doubt still stuck in his mind about the franchise.

I try to stand. On this soft mattress, that's kind of hard, and I just wind up with wobbly legs that give way, ending up with me down on my stomach again.

“Oof...um...Mark? Uh, turn on the computer for me? There's sumthin' on YouTube ah need to see again...”

He does, sitting in that uncomfortable steel folding chair and bringing the PC out of sleep mode, and immediately heads to the (in)famous video-uploading website. I tell him to search for “Lauren Faust press conference” and we quickly find our target. There are many, many mirrors of that video on many accounts, but the one we want is right up top.

It already has well over twenty million views...in just four days.

He turns the monitor to face me, since the desk laid at the foot of my bed, with the monitor facing to the bed's right. He clicks the link, and thanks to our comparatively slow connection, it loads slower than it plays.

He asks if it's okay to switch to 240p, the lowest resolution, so it would load faster. All I needed was the audio and the message, anyway. “Go ahead.”

We watch the conference together, which was originally broadcast by live streaming.

A man approaches the microphone at the podium. A YouTube annotation identifies the man as Craig McCracken: Lauren Faust's husband, and creator of several great cartoons in his own right.

He starts to speak. “I… suppose you're all wondering why Lauren called this conference,” he said, clearly very nervous, and possibly confused. “You see, the past two days, she and her good friend Tara have been afflicted with a condition that was unknown to us, until the culprit revealed himself. I…” He hesitated, taking a deep breath. “Maybe it's best you all see for yourselves. No questions will be taken.”

“Pause it,” I tell Mark. He does so. “Ah'd heard sumthin' happ'nin' to Tara Strong, but ah thought she was just playin' the part, no pun intended. Must be talkin' 'bout her there. Unpause it.”

I knew that they were revealing themselves next, but for the last few days, I'd thought it was just really advanced animatronics or CGI. Yeah, it would be weird that a cartoon on a cable network would get such a treatment for a season that was going to be a big success anyway, but it didn't seem TOO far-fetched, what with banner ads about “cryptids are real” popping up to virally advertise the then-upcoming show “The Secret Saturdays” a few years back.

But now, with the realization of what had happened to me, what I see next hits me harder than it ever could have before.

Walking out comes...a unicorn.

No: it's got a long, multicolored mane, seeming to flow in the wind, despite no wind existing indoors...and this horse also has wings at its side. The gasps of the press members present are very audible, as they match my own reaction.

Coming to the podium was none other than the Princess Celestia.

No way...this...this really happened. But...how?!

But beside her was a smaller horse...one with a horn and wings of her own. She was smaller, but had hair like the night sky, complete with apparent stars. Her fur was deep black with a hint of navy blue...

Wait, WHAT?! Princess Luna too?! But...oh my God...Tara Strong became HER?! Oh no, what about the other voice-overs from the show?! Andrea Libman, Ashleigh Ball, Tabitha St. Germain...wait, Tara didn't voice Luna, that was Tabitha.

Oh, whatever, just pay attayntion, boy!

I get startled for a second as I wonder how I called myself “boy.” I hated being called that. But I ran out of time to think, as the apparent princess of the Sun started to talk.

“I-I...” I know that look all too well. Even on a horse's face, I can tell this woman is a nervous wreck. “I know you must all be, uh, shocked about this. Believe me, I am too. But please don't doubt me when I say that I am really Lauren Faust, and she..." She points a hoof toward Luna. "...is really Tara Strong.”

I take a hard gulp as I see the transformed Faust take a deep breath. “The reason I called this conference today is not to tell the world about what happened to us. As you can see, it's obvious.” She's dead serious right now. “I called for this because this is the only way to assure that I am heard by my target audience. You see…” She pauses to clear her throat...her new throat. “There is one other out there who is like us. I don't know who, or where, but somewhere there is a person just like us. Changed. Into a pony.”

I do a double-take. Mark goes “Wait, WHAT?!” He looks at me, and I tell him to pause it again, which he does. Then something occurs to me: I look at the upload date. Four days ago.

“...Ah don' think she's talkin' 'bout me here...uh, unpause.”

We let Lauren continue. “But this will not be the case for very long...” I blink at that statement, listening even closer now. “Everyday, someone else is affected, and this will continue until...”

As she stops on her own in the video, clearly overcome with emotion, Mark pauses it again. Now it's his turn to look scared...though he says nothing. I look at him, scared as he is...and shake my head, gesturing for him to resume, which he does.

Lauren/Celestia looks into a camera directly, which happens to be the one giving this feed that this recording was taken from. It's like she's looking directly into my soul. “If any of you find yourself to be an Element of Harmony, I need your help. You need to come to New York.”

For yet another time, my eyes nearly burst out of my head in shock.

She turns her head aside. “No further comment.” She, Craig, and Tara/Luna walk away on their own.

My eyes turn from shock to confusion, then sadness. New York...Element of...wait a second! Applejack is...Applejack is supposed to represent the Element of...of Honesty...

The video reaches its end, as I slowly give an aside glance to my brother once more. It's all too clear that both of us are now very, very scared. I drop my head so the chin lays on the foot of the mattress, shivering in terror.

And yet, part of me is really, really urging me to get to New York City as quickly as I can...and I have no idea where that feeling comes from. I'm just a lazy grown man who's about to turn thirty, and now I've got to leave my family behind?

It stinks, but ya gotta do whatcha gotta do, son. More important stuff here. Think of it as savin' yer family, not leavin' 'em.

Son?...Since when do I call myself that in my head? What's going on?...And why did I start thinking in that accent too?

(Author's note: Yes, I'm the new writer for Applejack. The previous writer is being switched to Scootaloo. Also, this is the first piece of fanfiction I've ever written, period, so if there's something in there that I missed, or is a continuity hiccup, I apologize. Please keep that in mind as you give your feedback. Also, yes, I took the press conference words directly from Markus' Rainbow Dash story. This was to ensure continuity, this being a collaborative effort and all.)

Comments

[Regidar]

PONYEARTHVERSE.
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/I+m+out+of+here_147585_4039209.jpg

[Hope]

excellent writing so far, looking forward to more.

[TundraStanza]

Hm... seems in order.
I like the writing style. It doesn't strain my eyes with grammatical errors. Keep up the good work.
Get along, little doggy!

[blazikenking]

I praise the quality of the writing. No noticeable spelling or grammar errors, and AJ's accent was portrayed quite nicely.

Also, keep that hat. We all know how important hats are.

1686314 Picture is not available.

[DiStort]

Well, if I may say, sir, for your first piece of fiction ever, you've certainly done well for yourself!
No major grammatical problems, solid set-up, believable speech-to-text for AJ's accent. You're off to a great start!

[j3r034rja34jty]

1686314
Isnt a story without you, Regidar

[Regidar]

1690001 No, there are. I was lazy yesterday.

[Atlas_Nebula]

1686314 I'm gonna have to agree with you there
also, pic is invalid
And why didn't he notice that his . . . thing was missing
you know
the thing that guys have *wink wink*
You'd think he would've noticed
but anyways, I pretty much came here for the comments
AND THIS CLOSET BRONY GETS NO SYMPATHY FROM ME.

[Cold Snap]

1690851
I...totally forgot about that.
Wow, I'm an idiot.
I COULD chalk it up to him still being in shock, but oh well, something to bring up in the next chapter, I guess.

[Red Bomber]

So you're the new Applejack now huh? I was about to read the other guy's story along with the one who became Rarity due to me reading 4 of those stories now so I figured why not the rest. Although I feel like that this beginning has a more dramatic realistic feel to it than most others. I wish you luck in your collaborative effort.

[LittleTidbits]

I fear for my sanity that I was able to completely comprehend AJ's accent in text. All in all an enjoyable beginning, now make more!

[Cold Snap]

...Holy cow, I just realized how long it's been since I've posted this thing with no follow-up.
What is WRONG with me? I could use the upcoming college final exams as an excuse, but would Applejack accept such bull?
Anyway, I have about 1100 words of chapter 2 done as of this writing, and obviously more are to come.

[Blaze rod]

Updates? :3

[Cold Snap]

Chapter 2 will be up by January 31. The reasons for the delay (which I do apologize for) will be explained in the author's note at the end.

[Themaskedferret]

Darling don't worry about a thing. This feels fantastic and I can't wait to see how things go.

[Dawn Darkling]

switch to 240p, the lowest resolution

144p

[Island_Dancer96]

2567394 does that setting even exist??