My Not so Little Wrecker
By Jurai1990
Based on the Movie ‘Wreck It Ralph’ and the TV show ‘MLP: Friendship is Magic’. All characters and ideas in this story belong to their respective companies, shows, games, books, and so forth. I own none of what is written and is purely created for free enjoyment of fellow fans.
Chapter 1
Electronics and Lightning Don’t Mix
You know how it is, when you finally think everything is turning out for the better life likes to throw a curve ball at you. My name is Wreck-It Ralph and I am the bad guy of the game Fix-It Felix Jr., and until recently I had a pretty good life now. Sure for the first thirty years it was difficult, but after helping my good friend Vanellope von Schweet get her life back from Turbo back in her game Sugar Rush. Well let’s just say that the Nicelanders are actually living up to their name around me, I mean I had a home, friends, and I learned to actually enjoy doing what I do. But as I said before…life loves to throw curve balls when you let your guard down. Here is my story and I hope you enjoy it and even more so I hope you actually believe me because…haha even I have a hard time believing it myself!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The night it happened~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“See you later President sugar puss!”
“Take care Sergeant bad breath!” yelled back a spunky nine year old girl known as Vanellope von Schweet, ‘president’ of Sugar Rush, to a nine foot tall giant of a man that everyone knows as Wreck-It Ralph.
The two trading playful insulting names as they always do once they part ways, an odd but still very endearing ritual they have even after months of being cross-game friends. Ralph’s face was full of mirth as he saw his one true best friend wave him goodbye as he headed out of Tappers, the ‘bad guy’ still feeling happy for the former glitch since she could get out of her game to visit other places. He waved goodbye to the adorable brat with his one of his signature huge hands before walking out of the game to head home, he knew he would be busy again and needed extra rest tonight. As ever since he invited the guys from the unplugged games to Fix-It Felix Jr., they been extra popular with the players as it was almost non-stop playing from the time the arcade opens to the time it closes.
It was a great feeling and he was proud of himself for helping those guys from the Q*bert game, but even more so he had to admit it was fun having some other ‘bad guys’ to help him during the bonus level.
Too bad his musings were abruptly ended when his head hit a low hanging exit sign causing him to quickly hold his head and yell “Ow…” only to follow it up with a louder “AUGH!”
When the sign had apparently broke when his head hit it and fell onto his right foot, the large man hopping on his left foot as he held the injured limb in his hands. The painfully funny situation lasted for about fifteen seconds before the pain was gone enough that Ralph could put his foot back down.
He then sighed a bit and reached down for the little sign and said “Ya know sometimes I think I’m too good at what I do, oh well I’ll have to make sure to get Felix over here to fix it later.”
With that said the mountain of a man put the sign off to the side so no one else would stumble on it, and made his way for the exit train to take him back to Game Central Station so he could get back to his own game. Stepping onto the tram he noticed he was the only one getting on this time around on the return trip, but then again he did remember how most hang out for a while longer before going back so he wasn’t surprised. But as the tram left the station things in the real world were getting a bit dangerous, as warmer than usual fall temperatures helped make one mother of a thunderstorm and it was about to unleash its fury on Litwak's Arcade. The black storm clouds crackled and glowed as lightning streaked across the sky, the deafening boom of thunder following each brilliantly bright flash of nature’s furry.
Sad to say for Ralph it is never a good idea to be in the power lines during such a storm and he would find out why soon enough. The good ‘bad guy’ totally unaware of his fate until he felt the tram he was traveling on start to shake threateningly.
In reaction Ralph’s large hands sudden gripped the body of the tram as he yelled “Whoa, what in the heck is going on here?”
Too bad his answer would only be another lurch of the machine at the same moment that a large bolt of lightning struck the Arcade’s power lines, the super charge electrical energy surging through the wires and causing all the surge protectors to go off to save the games from getting fried. But for Ralph who was in one of the lines he had no protection and soon felt his tram make a horrible whirling sound. The lightning’s energy flooding the machine and turbo charging it, causing it to shoot out into Game Central Station and start ricocheting about with Ralph hanging on for dear life as he yelled in terror while everyone else dove for cover.
Unfortunately the surge of power had caused the wiring in the area to be unstable and Ralph along with the Tram both went shooting up and out of the G.C.S. Ralph’s new destination unknown as no one knew what happens to a game character if shot out into the power grid. Most assume they get destroyed and would be right but since Ralph still was hanging on tight to the tram, he was safe for the most part as it kept him from getting fried by electricity. The insane machine shooting through the electrical grid of the Arcade before finally it shot right into Litwak’s office Computer, the device thankfully left on by accident and able to send out the runaway machine and Ralph out into the internet. For Ralph the entire event was just horrible since for one thing he was hanging on for all his worth to a malfunctioning tram, he just got bounced around at high speeds all through out G.C.S., AND he has no idea where in the heck he is right now or where the crazy tram is taking him.
All around him he saw billions upon billions of streams of energy shooting past him and toward a huge central area, the giant glowing sphere was far larger than anything he ever seen before and had odd signs and colors all around it.
He then said mostly to himself “YouTube…Google…Wiki-what-a? Huh and I thought some of the arcade games had weird names…just where in the world am I…And I’m coming in really fast toward that thing…and we’re now slowing down!”
Ralph got ready once more for uncomfortable bouncing around as he hunkered down against the already banged up tram as it shot into the place. As the runaway device did its best impression of a pinball he did catch a faint glimpse of the name of the place as it was called ‘Web Server Junction’, and he also got a passing look at a few of the people that ran for cover. Some of which looked down right weird as most were just computer programs and codes, used to help keep things under control and make sure the place worked correctly and were given odd bodies. One looked like a huge red and white shield, another a flaming fox, and other crazy looking things that were hiding from the new addition to their world.
He didn’t have much time to really process what he saw soon after as the Tram finally shot into one of the tunnels leading out of W.S.J. and into who knows where. Ralph already getting REALLY tired of all this and wished it would stop already. Lucky for him his wish would soon come true as the tram burst through and come into the place the tunnel connected to. Bad thing is it wasn’t made for Video game characters or game trams to go through, so the tram and Ralph glitched when they came through and that caused the tram to just break up into code. While for Ralph he was glitched far away from the entrance and high into the night air, both of which did nothing for Ralph’s nerves and really didn’t help with the yelling he was making.
The nine foot tall wrecker falling through the air and toward a dense patch of trees down below, his arms flailing a bit before he thought `…Man this is just not fair, I mean things were going so great and now this?! Wait…what about Felix and the others? I mean they need me or our game will end up getting unplugged…and what about squirt? I don’t want the kid to be sad that I’m gone…-sees the ground isn’t too far now and sighs-…I’m sorry guys guess this is game over for me.`
With that Ralph closed his eyes and braced himself as best he could as he let out a few quick grunts from hitting limbs before finally slamming into the cold unforgiving earth. Pain shooting through his body before he blacked out and everything went numb and dark…Now for how long he was out he wouldn’t know but he soon started to come too as he felt something very lightly touched him, heck it would have been impossible to feel if he wasn’t so tender.
“Augghh…”
“EEPPP!” was how it went after that as who or what ever touched him made that faint sound and then darted off, while Ralph just laid there in pain before a soft gasp was heard and a voice spoke to him. “Please don’t move…oh dear you poor thing you look terrible. Don’t worry I’ll help you just stay still.”
`…Trust me who ever you are...I couldn’t move even if I wanted to.` were the last thoughts Ralph had before blacking out once again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fluttershy never was the bravest pony and she knew that and came to accept it in her life as one of just her traits that just has to be over came from time to time. But even her timid nature was not going to stop her this morning when she had gotten word from one of her little bird friends that somepony or something was hurt in the forest. Though she did have to wonder a little bit when she heard the description of what the poor thing was from the bird. Based on what she heard it was very big and had huge claws, which at first made her think it was some sort of Diamond Dog. But upon hearing it had a flat-ish face and didn’t seem to be covered in fur or have a tail that theory was laid to rest. As such she only knows she had to be careful and try to get to the hurt creature as fast as she could. Even if this required going into the scary dark creepy Everfree forest to do so.
The young mare thankfully didn’t have to go in too far to find the place her little bird friend said the creature was as it was only fifty or so yards inward from the edge of the forest. But upon spotting the poor thing she let out a soft gasp as not only was it so odd and alien to her, it looked like it was really hurt judging by the ugly bruises, cuts, and scrapes all over it. The butter colored mare’s maternal and caring instincts took over after that and rushed over to it, which was in fact just a slightly fast trot to be honest. Upon standing beside it, she took a moment to look it over and saw that the thing was wearing clothing of some sort. That made her think this creature was smarter than some wild animal but that didn’t change her desire to help. No pony could ever say that Fluttershy would avoid helping somepony that needs it before and no pony would be able to say that now.
Taking a second to gather her wits she began to take stock of what she needed to do to help, and lightly ever so lightly touched one of the huge claw things of the creature with her dainty hoof. She was pleasantly surprised to find out that the skin was, while tough, soft, warm, and had a little give under it though the powerful muscles under it were easy to feel too. She could tell this thing had very strong claws even if one didn’t take into account their size, but also that it had to be a mammal of some sort but what kind she wasn’t sure yet. With courage from learning a few things about this alien creature she started to continue her light touches on the being’s body. Trying to find out if there were any broken bones or so forth by feeling for give, though she did make a few mistakes with checking. Since she was sure she poked the side of its stomach quite a few times while looking for the ribs.
It was one of these so called mishaps that caused a reaction from the large creature as she heard it let out a pained “Augghh…” and made her let out a startled “EEPPP!”.
Which was promptly followed by her dashing for cover in a near by shrub that rustled gently upon her entry into it. She stared at the creature in worry as she thought it was going to get up and go after her, but instead it just laid there making pained sounds and wincing movements.
Seeing the alien being in such pain caused her fear to be crushed away as she quickly made her way back over to it and said “Please don’t move…oh dear you poor thing you look terrible. Don’t worry I’ll help you just stay still.”
She never got a response out of it as she figured from its lack of active movement and slowed breathing it passed out again. Something that she would not of liked to happen but accepted it as helpful in keeping the creature from harming itself with trying to move. She look around for a moment to see if her little bird friend was still around and saw that Mr. Blue Jay was perched in a tree near by.
She gestured for him to come closer after seeing him and once he was near said “Now Mr. Blue Jay I need you to go find my friend Rainbow Dash..." Fluttershy listened to a few questioning tweets from the bird. "Yes the really fast blue winged pony. Here I’ll give you one of my feathers so she will know I sent you and will follow you.”
Fluttershy soon began to preen her wings hastily to see if she had any loose feathers and thankfully found one instead of having to pluck one out. She quickly took hold of it with her lips and pulled it out before she held it out for the little bird to take into his claws. Once Mr. Blue Jay had a good grip on it she let go and had him fly off to Ponyville to get her loyal friend. She would have liked to have sent the bird after Twilight but knowing her she was so busy with her schedule and she didn’t want to bother her.
She now returned her attention to the injured creature and began to gently fan it with her wings to help keep it cool while she waited. All she hoped was that with Rainbow Dash here she could figure out a plan to move it as she knew it must weight a lot due to its’ size and shape.
But as she thought this she looked at the alien being and said mostly to herself in a soft voice “Just where did you come from…and why are you so hurt?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Chapter~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well there it is the try out chapter I made. Ya I know not that great and I do know I need a person to look it over and fix up the sentence structure but still I hope it isn’t terrible. This is my first try at making ANY kind of story post and to be frank I just came up with this on the fly, I’ll have to take time to think out future stuff but still what do you think?
Wreck-it Ralph, eh?
Don't mess this up.
Love the concept, lets just see if the results match up to the ideal.
Heres hopin!
Not bad for a first spot my friend.
You Definetly need to work on your commas.
And this may just be my opinion, but you tell us whats going on more then show us.
Looking forward to more.
1649451 I'll try my best to live up to the fun ideas of what this could be like, but I'll admit I hope some more accomplished writers give this idea a go too. It would be fun to see an expert's take on it and see how I could improve after I eventually get around finishing this.
1649541 Thank you for the compliment.
But ya at some point I hope someone might offer to help go over these chapters later on in the future once I actually build up enough to warrant the effort. As for the whole telling more than showing...Well I guess I can see what you mean as I always did have issues with describing environments and actions even when it came to simple role plays. I'll try to work on it but just seems to be an area I can't seem to grasp, if anyone has tips for such things feel free to give them. Constructive criticism is always a welcomed thing for me ^^
Proceed
Group the descriptions into large paragraphs and separate dialogue into smaller ones, about 1-3 lines. It usually follows this pattern: "Dialogue" or 'Internal Monologue' followed by an optional description of the one speaking/thinking. If there's a change of speaker, like from Fluttershy to Vanellope, you start a new line or paragraph. On the other hand, a mix of dialogue and descriptions can be put into the same paragraph. There are just so many WoTs in this chapter, the structure kind of bothers me as I read.
This part sounds a bit too formal for Ralph to say/think IMO. Try imagining the character saying the dialogue you've planned for them, and see if the way you've worded it would sound plausible and believable for them to say. This can be tricky in Applejack's case or any Apple pony for that matter, since there's the southern drawl you'll have to pay attention to, as well as the intentional misspellings to convey the accent. The story draws in the audience but it's the details that make the story more convincing.
Don't let this last bit discourage you but I hope you've planned out an ending or at least what happens next. It kinda helps in planning the story because if you've thought of a possible ending beforehand, you get to ask yourself why, when and how this happens and what takes place in between that leads to that end. It helps me with my story, that much I can say. I got this idea from a manga called 'One Piece,' if you've heard of it. The author's already planned the ending for it, even though it's still a very long ways off. Many eager fan-fiction writers often create stories without an outline of events in mind, which causes a lot of writer's blocks and in worst cases, leave the author without inspiration and drive, and the story is left unfinished.
That's all the advice I've got for this 1st chapter and I hope you post the 2nd soon. I'm a big fan of the movie and I can't wait to see how things turn out next time.
And if you can, please make it longer!
good but dont like the wall of text
i know i dident see the movie but
im mad because of the spoilers u flank-hole
ps. yes i doing the whole brony talk thing DEAL WITH IT
1650817 Firstly I'm going to say thank you for taking the time to type out so much in a response. Anyway I did change the Vanellope thing out with something that works better, you are right my inner Ralph kinda got lost during that line but I found him again.
As for the story structure suggestions I'll admit I bet what you say would make the story better but thing is I never typed in such a fashion in all my years of role playing or anything. It kinda hard to break my habit without making a mess of what I am trying to type out, which means for now I'm kinda stuck with what it is like for now till I figure out how to do it that way more naturally and well. As for the Apples....ugh ya I know I'm going to have issues as I can do the easy ones without issue 'Ah'm' 'Ah' 'Ya'll' and so forth but those intentional mess ups in certain words will be a chore to remember to do. You would figure being a Southerner myself would make it easier but really...I don't have nearly as thick an accent as AJ and such =w='
As for an ending and so forth I do have a General idea that I can easily build up around now that I see this story isn't considered a train wreck so far. Kinda wanted to see if it would even be a good idea before I went through all the effort of thinking up every little thing, did such task once and got bitten in the ass for it with all that wasted work I did. Also don't worry I'll try to make sure the story has a lot of chapters as I do have a work around for that time constraint, and I have been working on chapter 2 recently.
1651033 sorry if you think it is a wall of text but in truth I figured I broken it up enough with enters to keep it from doing that. Apologies though if you can't read it still
1651856 Whoa now brony, no pony made you read this story before you watched the movie. You just gonna have to suck it up and live with you mistake, ain't no reason for you to get your tail in a twist. -Does brony talk too when he wants to and just playing around right now-
i hate u
1651921 *Loves and Tolerates the hell out of the brony*
MUTHA I WILL SEND U TO THE MOON WITH A MOON CANNON
TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
Wreck It Ralph this should be good. How will the ponies deal with the truth of what they really are when or if they find out?
1651948 You win this debate, but I would however advise putting a "Spolier Warning" In the description.
Well, the good news is that I think this story is worth some effort to try and help you! Both to make this story a better read, and to help encourage you on the path to becoming a better writer.
The bad news is that I couldn't restrain my 'Fist of Editing DOOM' past the first 2/3 of the first chapter.
I don't have time right now to be your proofreader/editor. This may change, but for now, here's some advice, what I might do if I were you...
Trim down the description to just that, a description of the story; don't explain, don't tell us about your writing process. The description should be PURELY stuff that'll get us interested in your story. (And I'd REALLY cut out that note about being a first time author, those kinds of things can attract bad attention.)
For the story itself: each time you have a new speaker, or a new 'thinker' if it's internal monologue, NEW PARAGRAPH. Do this each and EVERY time. This is less 'suggestion' and more 'required to be readable.'
Next, your readers will be able to understand what your section breaks mean, so don't say what they are; just have the line of ~s, and let us figure it out; it's very clear as is.
Last, here's an example of show vs tell with an action.
Okay, so maybe I overdid it a little there, but it does stand as an example of how even a SIMPLE action can be made of a large number of smaller actions. Further, by going into the details of the action, I was able to touch on Ralph's appearance, his history, describe what the wall was made of, and even give some context to why he was punching it. This approach lets the writer convey a wealth of detail to the reader without having to resort to exposition, or draw the focus away from the action.
Definetly gonna read this one.
Deffinitly listen to MetBoy a couple comments up. It's stuff like he said that can give life to a story or not.
Also for the love of everything holy do NOT us the stage directions to tell what a person is doing. This is a story and as such needs to be portrayed as such.
Example:
Turns into:
That being said use what people are willing to give you to better this story as, even not having seen the movie, this interests me.
Well, I can see you took my advice, and this first chapter is easier to read.
Some other things you should look at: when describing actions in the story, be consistent in your verb tenses. Switching between them should be avoided. Also:
Unless Fluttershy SAID "Listens to tweets" you should use quote marks to show that she isn't saying that part; a close quote after Dash, and an open quote before Yes.
This has been flying over my head for the longest time. The first chapter was hilarious with how Ralph flew through the internet
This looks like a great crossover! I'm gonna enjoy this!
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2315025 fuck off turbo/king candy!