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REEEEEEEESSSSPAAWWWN!(a prologue)472 words
Chapter 1: And then, there was... Jack.756 words
Chapter 2:You don't know Jack599 words
Chapter 3: Sweet dreams are made of Jack709 words
Chapter 4: Baker Jack, Farmer Jack, Designer Jack, Rainbow Jack... Singer Jack? pt.1602 words
Chapter 5:Baker Jack, Farmer Jack, Designer Jack, Rainbow Jack... Singer Jack? pt.2735 words
Chapter 5:Baker Jack, Farmer Jack, Designer Jack, Rainbow Jack... Singer Jack? pt.3a; Clop Trot's day out... or IN as it were...547 words
A Very Handsome Hearts and Hooves day(also not relevant to story)1,271 words
Chapter 6: Jack and that one pony who did the thing.658 words

Chapter 2:You don't know Jack

What did I do to deserve this? I was a good man, sure I had my share of stumbles but... Enough to warrant... this?

No way. It just wasn't possible. Someone had to be playin' me. Probably Blake, that frickin stooge.

This was just crap.

"listen lightbright-"

"Twilight."

"Not inportant, what is important is that I find what in the hottest hell could be so akin to me, that would cause me to respawn here. Considering that you havent even heard of a lightbulb, I doubt you have a new-u station on this rock sooo I also have to discover how I literaly respawned here, given how it's impossible to spawn without one nearby."

Nothing I didn't plan on doing before, but at least purple knew.

Yeah I'm just going to call these things by colors because, seriously? Nouns and adjectives do not constitute a name...

Unless it's my name.

"Well... I suppose that's somewhat true... There has to be a way to test which pony could- Eurieka! That's it! A test!"

"What? What now?"

"I'll design a test! I'll key it toward your personality and then we'll discover which pony is most like you! Spike, I'll need a quill, 64 liters of ink, and the latest sensus of Equestria!"

"What about paper?"

"I'll be able to get a definate figure after I study that sensus."

Was she serious?

"Are you serious?"

"Tests are not something I take lightly Mr. Jack."

She was serious.

Someone just kill me...

Again...

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Twilight was exited, or perhaps anxious it was hard to tell the two appart at times. She whiped around her supplies in a flurry of lavender lights as Jack followed the flying items with his eyes, bemused from the display.

"Hate to burst your bubble kid, wait no. I'm actually going to enjoy this quite a bit, ahem, that aint-how respawn-works-you fool. Personality doesn't matter for jack shit."

"But it is how magic works. Now please Mr. Jack, just answer a few questions."

Twilight steadied her quill over a scroll, letting the papper unravel back to the wall.

Just a few questions.
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The night dwindled into day and back again. Jack checked his watch, his eyes heavy beyond all reason. If it was right (which would make it possibly the best watch sense EVER!) It was four a.m. Two days from whence they'd begun.

"How many-"

"Nine."

"But I didn't-"

"Don't care. We've been up wahaaayy past jacky's bed time. It is now time, for all the good little trans-dimensional bad asses, that's me, and freaky little purple things, that's you two. To go-to fucking-sleep!"

Twilight sighed, Jack had been rude and unapproachable sense his arrival. It was safe to assume, given the events that brought him here had much to do with that. Twilight believed that this human needed a nice cat-nap.

"I'll stay up and work on this. I'm pretty sure I can fill out the rest from the pattern of you're previous responses. You're welcome to-"

"Use your pony-bed?"

"No. As I said, you're not my first human I have a comfortable, human-sized bed for just this sort of occaison. It is just through that door and down the stairs. Oh! And pleeeease don't touch anything in my lab? I have only the slightest idea what some things down there will do to ponies, and not a single idea of what they'll do to a human"

"yup, k, thanks mom. I won't play in the kitchen."

/He's just sleepy\

Twilight thought as Handsome Jack sauntered into the basement.

"He just needs some time to coupe."

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