A Very Handsome Hearts and Hooves day(also not relevant to story)
Today is a day where most ponies find themselves so very busy.
Rushing and rushing,
Everyone is in a tizzy.
For today is Hearts 'n Hooves day,
there is no time to wait,
there must be no delay.
On this day the ponies of Equestria do sing,
special somepony's hugging and kissing,
some even present rings.
On this day all are so happy,
not a frown to be found,
no morning crappy.
All save one, a miserable jerk.
Who is no pony, no not at all.
But he has opposable thumbs, so that's a perk.
He is in the library, more specifically the most scientific of basements.
Nopony knows what he does,
most assume he laments.
For not long ago he did lose his daughter and lover.
Killed by bandits;
some terrible monster.
So he sits in that place, locked away.
Hating and despising,
loathing the very day.
"Three hours in, and this already sucks.
How do they do- I mean to say,
how do they fuck?"
Yes he was mad, the man had no fucks.
It was as he said,
for him this sucks.
"What can I do? What can I say?
To ruin their fun,
to destroy this day?!"
He paced to and fro.
Something had to be done.
He could not let this go.
"Poison their coffee? Dump their tea?
No! That's lame!
What's wrong with me!"
He paced and paced, looking around.
When he did see
a little bot on the ground.
Angular, kinda shaped like a brick.
It was laying down,
so Jack gave it a kick.
"Get up you! Get your ass up!"
The robot turned to jack and just said-
" 'Sup."
Jack smiled at his plan, so devious and well thought.
He knew he could win
With the help of this robot.
"You Clop-trot, I need your help."
He picked up the thing,
and it gave a short yelp.
"How would you like a to give me a hand?
I need your help,
to fulfill my master plan."
The robot did squee
but as it had just awoken
"Yes master! But first, can I go pee?"
-------------------------------------------------------
We turn our gaze now, to a lovely young duo,
blissfully unaware
the misfortune did follow.
"Oh rarity, thanks so much for the advice."
"Just tell him what you think,
you don't have to be nice."
"Oh but I do, you see he's a close friend.
I wouldn't want to sound mean,
I most certainly don't want to offend."
"Listen Fluttershy, there's no need to hold back.
It's disgusting darling,
if he won't wash his sack."
Jack had heard enough,
he knew what to do.
He would follow the yellow one, and mess with her stuff.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Following her like he had planned,
Jack saw a big red stallion,
and he knew his moment was at hand.
Turning to clop-trot in a furious haste,
Jack addressed the bot,
with not a moment to waste.
"Listen up now, here's the plan.
Come in closer
and I'll tell you my scam."
As the two talked, the shy pony tried
to approached the red stallion
She very nearly died.
"Uhmmm err g-g-good morning bic mac...
I-I-if it's ok...
Can we talk about uhmm... y-y-your sack?"
She whispered the last word, so only the two could hear
as he finished her phrase
the stallion did real.
"Nope."
"oh b-b-but it's j-j-just k-kinda, thilthy a-and gross...
a-and I'd l-like to clean it...
I-If you'll let me that c-close."
The stallion thought on this, with a great deal of surprise.
He looked at her,
with a glean in his eye.
"Eeyup."
And with that the two ponies took off
leaving jack in the dust,
he gave a loud grown as clop-trot coughed.
----------------------------------------------------------
They followed her home, they heard moans and grunts from inside.
Jack mad a sick cough,
he almost cried.
"Alright, come now little robot of mine.
This is it!
This is the perfect time!"
"While they do their horizontal mash,
we will wreck her coupe,
all her things we will smash!"
As the duo grew closer, the moans grew louder
jack did frown
one would think he'd be prouder.
Poor fluttershy, so little an small
did her very best
to take it all.
Cleaning Mac's sack was no easy feat.
It was so big, so bouncy
a challenge to beat.
She shook it quite hard, getting the crud out
it was a big nasty thing
so she tried to shout.
She was actually very good with the large handsome sack
the big bouncy thing
that belonged to big mac.
it bounced up and down, quite fast like a race
fluttershy smiled
as it smacked her face.
jack, under the cover of moans
did start to destroy
everything that she owned.
With a hard kick here,
and swift punch there
he knew his vengeance was near.
however these acts did not go unnoticed
the little young angle, a very cute bunny
would ensure swift justice was realized, sententia de mortis!
With rapid movement, a speed he did reach
that was only possible
on rabbit's feet.
He entered the home,
which now smelled of
the great orgies of roam.
With great vigor did angle join in
the fun had been doubled
the enjoyment could begin.
between grunts and groans angle did aim
out the window at Jack
and the flowers he did maim.
The tired, sweaty, sticky fluttershy
did flutter outside
and began to cry.
Within her soapy wet hooves did she hold a sack
it was filthy
made of burlap.
"Did I not do a good job?
I'm so sorry
Should I have used a bigger swab?"
Jack looked on the sad little mare
his heart twinged slightly.
Did he really care?!
He had thought, with all the things that were said
they had to be busy
screwing in bed.
jack looked at the sad little mare
his heart broke, shattered by guilt.
He did care!
He walked over, kneeling low only to say
"Don't worry little girl,
I'll fix the mess I made."
Well it was then, well in ponyville they say
that Handsome Jack's heart
Grew three sizes that day.
With the swiftness of god, a fire in his heart.
He began to repair
all he'd torn apart.
He fixed her coupe and her fence
he replanted her flowers
he fed all the hens.
The crew did watch this former jackass
make amends for the first time
his meanness a thing of the past.
Once he was finished, fluttershy smiled
through old tears
she asked him to stay awhile.
They cleaned the icky sack
of one
big mac,
sending him home
along with clap-trap.
Now the two were alone, jack smiled at the horse.
His true plan prepared.
He would do much worse.
He gently pulled her closer, fluttershy not caring
she kissed his cheek
what an odd pairing.
With a slow cold stare, they turned to the author.
pleading eyes told him
"spare the reader the torture."
But he hardly listened, this too would pass
so he wrote this anyway
just like a jackass.
She took him there, right on the coach.
He smirked as he began to kiss her
she said ouch.
---------------------------
And then they did it.
Happy hearts 'n hooves everypony
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...not relavent to my interest
Funny I was listening to the madness soundtrack 1 while listening to this song funny how it goes with the story.
I came expecting a real chapter... Nao i haz a sad
2130080>>2126227
I plan to do nonsensical, non-cannon chapters to amuse myself and hopefully you guys. I'm still working on the real chapters, but these are little blurbs to keep you all busy.
Next piece of nonsense?
Discord
His name is Angel, Angel!
I think you mean couch. Because I don't think a coach would like somepony doing that on their back
no, no you write chapters
2130647
Poetic license punk
Deal with it
... Bloody hell... Jack has sex with a pony? And it's Fluttershy? And he has emotions?! Lol but seriously continue the story now... Unless you make this canon to your story and it comes up later. It's funny keep going
or else
2178244
Gawd I'm bein lazy... Workin on 6-8, and the second piece of non-cannon sillyness... Discord, I also where I want the story to end in relation to the show, so I know where I'm going...
Just gotta get there.
2178622
can't wait 
I still want Jack to win... Jus to see what'd happen 