The Mad Mojavian Adventures of Courier 6 and Pinkie pie

by Edmar Fecler

Chapter 12

“Good lord, what is that stench?!” Colonel Hsu exclaimed as Jacks closed the door behind him. Hsu sat behind a desk that faced his office’s door, covering his face with a cloth. Pinkie sat down in a chair facing the desk, seemingly oblivious to the stench. Meanwhile, Jacks noticed ED-E floating in the corner and motioned him over.

“It’s a pleasure to see you too Colonel,” Jacks said with a chuckle “Sorry, but it’s difficult to find the time or the water for a bath when you’re wandering the Mojave. That is to say, I don’t think bathing in the blood of your enemies counts. Speaking of which, I brought you a surprise!”

Jacks pulled Motor Runner’s severed head out from inside his coat and held it up by the hair for the Colonel to see. “I took care of your little Fiend problem!”

Hsu held back a wave of nausea from the sight. “Why did you bring me his head? All I wanted was his helmet for confirmation.”

“Technically speaking I could have lied by just bringing his helmet. Besides, Major Dhatri wanted the heads of the other three Fiend leaders, who I’ve also taken care of, so I figured why not ensure the same confirmation with Runner?”

“Fair enough,” Hsu said as he removed the rag from his face. “But would you please put that thing away? I don’t want my office smelling like a rotting corpse.”

“Sure thing.” Jacks stuffed the head back in his cloak. He pulled another chair up to the desk and sat down next to Pinkie. “So, down to business then?”

“Yes. Here’s your payment for Motor Runner; 300 caps, as promised,” Hsu said as he plopped a bag of caps onto the desk. “Now, I may have some more work for you if you’re interested…”

“Oh! Are you talking about the Legion spy who’s been leaking troop movements from this base?” Pinkie cut in with her usual upbeat tone.

A troubled expression came over Hsu’s face as he turned to her. “…What?”

“Oh yeah! Mr. Silus told me all about how someone on this base was leaking information to the Legion, though he doesn’t know who it is. Also, Caesar might be contracting a fatal illness maybe!”

Hsu looked to Jacks, his expression unwavering. “Don’t look at me, I was unconscious the whole time,” Jacks said with a shrug.

“Well, yes, we have been having problems with information leaks recently. You’ve proven yourself to be reliable, and you’re not technically with the NCR, so I was hoping you would help me find the culprit.”

“Of course we will! Helping people and solving mysteries are some of my favorite things,” Pinkie said cheerfully.

“What she said,” Jacks added with a smirk. “So, what exactly is the situation?”

Hsu rested his arms on the desk as he folded his fingers. “As far as we can tell someone has been leaking information from this base for months now. It was subtle at first, a few incidents here and there that were chalked up to bad fortune or superior planning on the Legion’s part. It wasn’t until the ambushes became more frequent and coordinated that we began to suspect a spy. However, it’s gotten to the point where the Legion is successfully wiping out towns like Nelson or Searchlight. This spy needs to be taken care of before he damages our operations further, and our investigation is getting us nowhere.”

Jacks rubbed the scruff on his chin thoughtfully. “So who’s leading the investigation?”

“That would be Captain Curtis. He can fill you in on what we’ve got so far, so speak with him to get started.”

“Alright, but first could you tell me a bit more about him?”

“He’s in command of Bravo Company. However, with his troops garrisoned here he’s had free time to help me with logistics and the investigation.”

Jacks leaned back, taking a moment to contemplate. “…Well gang, it looks like we’ve got another mystery on our hands,” he said as he turned to his companions.

“Jinkies!” Pinkie said with a giggle. Hsu sighed subtly.

Jacks stood up and grabbed the bag of caps from the table, hanging them somewhere in his cloak. He turned to leave the office, but Hsu stopped him. “Thanks for the help by the way. For what it’s worth, you’re doing some real good the NCR.”

“The pleasure’s all mine, friend,” Jacks concluded as he walked out into the lobby. Pinkie pulled a cupcake out from somewhere and placed it on Hsu’s desk before hopping away after Jacks.

Hsu watched the door close behind the trio before picking up the confectionary and eying it curiously. “Where the hell does he find these companions?”

-

The trio started heading back across the lobby. Pinkie pulled out a detective hat and a pipe, placing them in their respective places before hopping on Jacks’ back. “So, where do we begin looking for clues?”

“Like Hsu said, we’re gonna’ check in with Curtis first. Maybe he will have some useful information on the spy.”

“Maybe? But isn’t he heading the investigation?”

“Sure he is, but I don’t think it would be too hard to figure this out given the circumstances. Considering the significance of the leaks they’re likely being carried out by someone ranked high enough to get ahold of the information. That and they have to have access to communications equipment without rousing suspicion.”

“So why don’t they just monitor all the officers and radio doo-dads?”

“Which brings me to my point. Either Curtis is an incompetent investigator, or he’s involved with the spy. After all, they best way to avoid being caught is to be the one investigating.”

“That way you can falsify information and keep people off your trail! That’s brilliant!”

“Exactly. However, we should still investigate to confirm my theory. Besides, who knows what our little spy might have planned,” Jacks concluded as they reached Curtis’ office. He stopped in front of the door and began chuckling to himself. “You know what? I just got a crazy idea.”

“Ooo, I love crazy! What ya’ got for me?”

Jacks took a knee so he could whisper in her ear. “I want you to do most of the talking. That way he probably won’t take us too seriously, which could really help if he does turn out to be the spy.”

Pinkie spun around to face Jacks and scrunched his face with her fore hooves. “I love it! Thank you thank you thank you!”

Jacks grinned as best he could. “Gwate, nuw cun I hav muh face beck?”

“Oops, heheh, sorry.”

His face free once more, Jacks stood up and opened the office door. “After you, m’lady.”

Pinkie tipped her head before walking into the room. ED-E, however, stopped in the doorway and turned to Jacks. “--Are you sure this is a good idea?--“

“Pfft, sure it is,” Jacks said as he rolled his eyes. “When have I ever been wrong before?”

“--Plenty of times, in fact. Would you like me to list them off to you?--“

Jacks scrunched his face and gingerly pushed the robot inside. “That was rhetorical and you know it.”

Curtis noticed the group enter and turned his chair to face them. “Can I… help you?” he said cautiously, not knowing what to make of the bizarre trio.

Pinkie looked up to Jacks, who nodded for her to continue. “I’m Pinkie Pie! This is my friend Jackmerius Tacktheratrix, and this cute widdle eyebot is ED-E! We’re here to solve a mystery!” she said excitedly as she stood on her hind legs to strike a pose.

“…The hell is this thing?” Curtis asked in a befuddled manner as his face twisted with a multitude of emotions.

Jacks chuckled. “She’s just an escaped, mutated Enclave science experiment gone wrong. You know; the usual. Also, Colonel Hsu tasked us to find the spy that’s been leaking intel to the Legion.”

“Oh…” Curtis fell silent for a moment to process the situation. “Well, I’m glad Hsu has finally gotten me some help. Maybe you three will be able to make a breakthrough in our investigation.”

“That’s the plan! So, what can you tell us about the spy? Do you have any leads?” Pinkie asked intensely as she jumped up on the desk to stare Curtis in the eyes. “Are you in cahoots with him?!”

“Woah, you better tell your… thing to back off,” Curtis said in an impatient tone.

“Just humor her Curtis, I’m letting her take the reins for this investigation,” Jacks said, stifling a chuckle. Pinkie turned her head an unnatural 180 degrees around to stare at Jacks.

“Really?” She said, a sly grin spreading across her face. Jacks simply shrugged.

“Fine,” Curtis replied, still sounding cross. “We don’t know much about the spy, and any time we get a lead he changes his habits before we can find out more. All I can tell you is that maybe you’ll have some luck if you ask around. I would recommend Boyd or Contreras, since they have a lot of eyes in the field. Careful with Contreras though. He’s not above suspicion himself. Just make sure to keep me posted on any leads you find. I’m itching for a chance to return the favor for all the men he’s gotten killed.”

Pinkie hoped off the desk and beamed with happiness. “Thanks mister! We won’t let you down, I Pinkie Promise!”

“Good. Now if you don’t want anything else, I have a lot of work to get back to.” Curtis spun his chair back to his desk and went back to looking over paperwork.

Jacks held the door open for Pinkie and ED-E, closing it behind him. A few minutes after they left, Curtis stopped sifting through his paperwork. He calmly walked over to the door, listening to make sure nobody was nearby before locking it.

“That damn courier,” he snarled as he sat back down at his desk. Using another key he unlocked the bottom drawer in his desk. He took the drawer’s contents and placed them on his desk in an orderly fashion.

“Looks like I’ll have to execute my primary objective ahead of schedule.”

Author's Note:

Last chapter I was asked for Jacks' SPECIAL stats, so here they are. I provided a more detailed list in the prelude's footnotes, for any who are interested. I apologize for any inconvenience.
note: this is including the implants from the Followers and taking "Intense Training" a few times, but not including bonuses from clothing (like his hat) or consumables.

S-8 P-7 E-6 C-7 I-7 A-5 L-7

I will update his SPECIAL accordingly, when/if it changes.
(I'm looking at you, Old World Blues...)

Comments

[batran]

New chapter!

[batran]

I call a red herring ahead of time

[HB_DS2013]

Even Pinkie is too weird for the Mojave Wasteland. Maybe more so than the Capital Wasteland, and that's the same area where aliens, hillbillies and two simulations can be encountered while the former just had Old World Blues and the Wild Wasteland trait.

[Dustchu]

Hehehe... this is awesome, and I absolutely love it! Nicely done man, nicely done!

[N4rwh41]

Wait, OWB hasn't happened yet? :D Pinkie has a conversation with Dr. Mobious! Just don't let her have mentats, as we all know what happens to a precog when they increase their mental acuity (FOE, anyone?)

[Edmar Fecler]

7969819 we'll be tackling OWB and LR in this story. the other two have already occured.

also, thanks again for reminding me about the stats.

[N4rwh41]

7969870 Lonesome Road... d***, if Pinkie hasn't cracked by then, she certaintly will. Thank God she doesn't have to deal with whatever the h*** the ghost people are.

[N4rwh41]

7969284 you forgot about the Sierra Madre. While not wierd, it would be f****** terrifying to have all of you good gear stripped, fight things that don't die, and have your lungs melted off by the pink cloud.

[HB_DS2013]

7970392 Lonesome Road is also not weird, but you'd hafta deal with skin-flaying sandstorms, the Marked Men, the Tunnelers, Death laws and the Courier's Mile. Oh, and possibly Ulysses.