• Published 3rd Dec 2012
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The Mad Mojavian Adventures of Courier 6 and Pinkie pie - Edmar Fecler



Pinkie Pie and Courier 6 have several crazy, fun adventures in their journey across the Mojave

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Chapter 8

The moon’s light shined though the partly cloudy sky of the Mojavian night. Its rays scattered across the courtyard of a fiend outpost pieced together in the ruins of a building on the East side of New Vegas. A few guards begrudgingly patrolled the top of the base’s walls, keeping an eye out for any signs of danger. Little did they know, danger was eying them back.

“Hey…” one of the fiends asked the guard next to him.

“Yea?”

“…You ever wonder why we’re here?”

The other fiend groaned. “Dude, lay off the damn stimpacks. That’s the fiftieth time you’ve asked me that fucking question.”

“Yea, but… This time it’s different.” Unbeknownst to the fiend, a bullet shot through the cranium of the man beside him. “I mean, what’s the point? Why is the world always so dry and sandy,” he continued absent mindedly as the other fiend fell off the wall with a quiet thud. “…And why can’t we have more drugs to ease the suffering? To make the pain fade away like the evening breeze…”

“What do you think Jibly?” He looked around, only to find himself standing alone. “Jibly? …Damnit, I’m a horrible people person.”

-

“And that’s why you attack at night time from an undisclosed location,” Jacks whispered to the pink pony beside him as he set down the Rat Slayer. The two of them were lying on the second story of a building stripped of its walls. From their position, they could see the entire outpost and its courtyard.

“So, repeat back to me what you’ve learned in this lesson.”

“Okie dokie.” Pinkie rolled on her back, looking up at the cloudy night. “One; never rush a base, even if it’s night.”

“Or unless you have good reason to. But that’s for a later lesson, so ‘yes’.”

“Two; snipe the base from the best possible position until it’s clear.”

“Correct.”

“And three; stay quiet and be sure to keep your location a secret, otherwise your position will be compromised.”

“Excellent. You now know how to take out an enemy base in a silent but deadly manner.” Pinkie tried to stifle a giggle, but to no avail. Jacks eyed her curiously for a moment before he caught on. He proceeded to punch her gingerly in the shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

After her giggling subsided, she rolled back over to look at the outpost. “Can I try?”

“I suppose, but I don’t see how-” A single gunshot pierced the night.

Jacks watched as the remaining fiend’s brain exited his head in a red splatter. He turned again to Pinkie, who had the marksman carbine cradled in her hooves, a tiny wisp of smoke rising from the end of its barrel.

“Boom! Headshot!” she shouted in a whisper. “Though, it wasn’t near as quiet as yours…”

“That’s because you didn’t have a silencer on your gun,” Jacks replied flatly. “Also, I’m not even going to ask how you fired that without fingers,”

“What’s a ‘silencer’?”

“Something you attach to your gun to keep it silent, so that-“

“OVER THERE!” “KILL THOSE FUCKERS!” Fiends began shouting from inside the base’s walls.

“…you’re not discovered.”

“--Jacks, I detect multiple hostiles targeting our location,--“ ED-E beeped from where he hovered behind them. A bullet whizzed past Jacks’ head as the fiends opened fire.

“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.” He calmly turned to Pinkie “And this is what happens, should your location be discovered by bad guys. At this point, it’s best for you to break out the big guns,” he continued as he pulled Sasha (the anti-material rifle) off his back.

After a quick kiss on the scope, Jacks rested the butt on his right shoulder and began lining up targets. Explosive round after explosive round was fired, each finding its target and killing them in a short but painful blast of gore. By the time he had emptied his magazine and reloaded, only a single, golf club wielding fiend was left standing in the middle of the courtyard. The man stood stock still in shock and anger not only from witnessing the deaths of his men in less than a minute, but also from the blood and bits of said men that were soaking into his makeshift armor.

“Hey Pinkie, you got anything that can make my voice louder?” Jacks asked. Pinkie pulled a pink megaphone covered in stickers and handed to him. “Thanks. Nice coloration, by the way.” It made a high pitched whine as he turned it on, but it adjusted itself to cancel the hurtful noise.

“Attention Driver Nephi: stay where you are and I will not shoot you in the head.”

“…That’s oddly specific, isn’t it?” he replied, a touch of malice in his words. Nephi took a step back, ready to make a dash for cover at the soonest chance he got.

“Yes. And that’s because I need it intact in order to collect your bounty. Now, it’s not that I don’t trust you to stay put, but…” With another blast from Sasha, Nephi’s right leg was torn off in a mess of blood and bone. “…I’d rather play it safe than sorry.”

Nephi’s screams of agony could be heard clearly from the courtyard. “Quit your whining. I’ll be down in a second to put you out of your misery, I promise.”

Jacks stood up and walked to a structural pillar at the floor’s edge, where he had a rope tied. After letting Pinkie hop on his back, he rappelled down the pillar to the ground.

“ED-E,” he called back up, “Go keep an eye on Nephi, would you? If he persists in trying to escape, vaporize his other leg.” Jacks saw ED-E nod before flying over the outpost’s wall and out of sight.

“Can Eddy take care of himself?” Pinkie asked as she hopped off Jacks’ back.

“Oh yea, I got the followers to supercharge his laser. The little bugger can take out deathclaws all on his own now.”

Pinkie shrugged. “I still don’t know what a deathclaw is, but I’ll take your word for it.”

It didn’t take but a few minutes of searching before the two found the outpost’s entrance. As they entered, they were met by the somewhat amusing sight (at least, Jacks found it amusing) of Nephi desperately swinging his 9-iron at ED-E from where he sat leaning against one of his dead men.

“ED-E,” Jacks called out, “I said you could shoot him if he gave you any trouble, didn’t I?”

The eyebot stopped dodging the driver and turned to him. “--It’s no trouble, sir. I’m just keeping him busy.--” He didn’t see the club as it swung towards him, banging him on the side. ED-E spun around, beeping frantically for a moment before regaining control.

“Fucking robot…” Nephi sputtered weakly. His face was beginning to turn pale now from the loss of blood.

Jacks kneeled down beside Nephi and pulled his combat knife out. Nephi swung at him with the driver, but Jacks caught the weapon and pulled it out of the fiend’s hands. “I’ll have none of that, if you don’t mind,” Jacks said quietly. “Now I know you’re a bad man. Hell, its kinda’ a given the company you keep. But all things considered, you’re not as bad as many of your fellow ‘leaders’. Sure you’re a hell of a murderer, but nothing especially sadistic like rape or cannibalism.”

Nephi spat in Jacks’ face. Not bothered by the fiend’s spiteful act, Jacks continued.

“My point is, while you are without a doubt a ‘bad man’, you’re not some sick twisted psycho. So, I’ll try to make this quick.” Jacks swiped his knife in a flash, cutting the front half of Nephi’s neck open. What blood remained in the man was pumped out of the wound in a matter of seconds. Jacks waited patiently as the fiend’s life slipped away before cutting the rest of the man’s neck and snapping the spinal column with a crunch.

“Mind handing me another sack?” Jacks asked Pinkie, who promptly tossed him one that she pulled out from -redacted-. He dropped the severed head in the sack and tied the top tightly, before hanging it inside his cloak beside two other similar, bloody sacks which contained the heads of Cook-Cook and Violet.

“So, where to next?” Pinkie asked, a nonchalant smile on her face.

Jacks wiped his knife off with a clean spot on Nephi’s shirt before sheathing it. “I hear Vault 3 is lovely around this time of year,” he replied with a devious grin.

Author's Note:

Eyyy! This is back! been a while. (sorry about that btw)
Be expecting more of this in the near future. :twilightsmile: