One's Self-Worth
As the Warden-Commander sat at his table silently, his eyes slowly drifted about the area, casually taking in the sights that surrounded him. Ponies sat at similar tables to his own, usually with others as they cheerfully chatted with one another, just far enough away as to not be overheard by anyone not trying to listen in. Several of them had plates set before them, some kind of pony-favored food placed atop it. One mare in particular was enjoying a sandwich that was nothing more than several dandelions between two slices of bread, making the commander's stomach churn.
Though the Warden wasn't fully aware of what a restaurant was, where he was currently resting, his best guess was that it was simply a tavern that didn't serve any kind of ale. Either way, it left him to simply nurse his cup of coffee as he allowed his gaze to wander. Occasionally his sightseeing was interrupted by the passing waiter, checking on him to see if he would like any kind of meal. He always turned them down though, unsure if he could stomach any kind of food. Eventually, his self-imposed solitude was once again broken, not by a passing waiter, but by a familiar face.
“This seat taken?” The commander looked forward to see Anders standing before him, a friendly smile on his face and a glass cup in his hand. With a simple move of his hand, he gestured for the mage to sit, which he immediately took.
While Anders situated himself at the table, the commander's eyes remained focused on what was in his hand. The glass was filled with a strange brown liquid, a fluffy foam bubbling at the top of it and a juicy cherry placed above it all. “What is that?” he asked in a flat tone, as Anders took a prolonged sip from it through a straw.
With a smack of his lips, Anders eyed the glass and said, “I think they call it a 'milkshake.' It's really sweet. Supposed to have milk, chocolate, ice and cream in it or something.” He stirred the straw around for a moment. “Haven't seen any ice in it yet, but I guess it's to keep it cold.” After taking another enjoyed sip, the mage plucked the cheery from the peak of the milkshake and twisted the stem off of it. Lowering his hand down toward his bag, Ser Pounce-a-lot's furry white head immediately popped out and the feline snatched the cherry within moments, disappearing back into his traveling home to nibble on the treat.
Both Grey Wardens sat there in silence for a time. The commander remained silently, doing little else but suckle away at his coffee while he eyed Anders, wondering what the mage was thinking. Anders simply looked about merrily as he drank his milkshake, oftentimes waving to a passing pony who would wave back in the friendliest of manners, even if they hadn't met one another before.
“Such a peaceful place, isn't it?” Anders murmured offhandedly. “You could never find such a calming sense of ease back home.”
“Perhaps,” the commander returned, looking about at the scenery for himself. “Even still, hopefully they'll be able to get the Eluvian remade soon. We can leave this world before we cause it any more trouble.”
“Before a templar causes it any more trouble,” Anders corrected. “As far as I've seen, the rest of us have only helped the people here.”
The commander shook his head. “It was still our doing that he was here,” he murmured. “And the longer we're here, the more of an impact our presence will make when we leave.”
With his own shake of his head, Anders said, “Us coming here was an accident, nothing more. Accident or not though, I won't say we were better off never coming here. I've come to see this world for what it is and enjoy my time here.” Absentmindedly looking down on his glass, he began swirling his straw through the rest of his shake. “And... I was thinking that that time didn't have to end. I was thinking about staying here... in Equestria.”
A small amount of coffee was immediately sucked into the commander's opposite tube, causing him to release a sputter cough as he stared at the mage in disbelief. “What?” he questioned in his bewilderment. “Anders, do you even know what you're saying? We don't belong here, none of us do.”
Crossing his arms, a spark of defiance flashed in Anders' eyes. “And who is to say that?” he retorted. “These ponies have been more than happy to allow us to stay. I'm sure they would take no issue if we made things more permanent.”
The commander rubbed his eyes as Anders tried to explain himself, still hardly able to believe what he was hearing. “And you'd give up everything you had in Ferelden?” he asked. “To never go back, to stay here as a powerless mage?”
It was Anders' own time to show mock-confusion, as though disbelieving what the commander was asking himself. “What is there for me in Ferelden?” he asked rhetorically. “I've no reason to need to return, I'm not the ruler of our land like Alistair.” The commander looked as though he was about to say something, to speak against the mage's claim, but Anders continued uninterrupted. “And what of my magic? I'd say it's a small price to pay to stay in such a wonderful land. A land that doesn't have bandits slaughtering innocent travelers for coin, or darkspawn biding their time underground, or even templars just waiting for a chance to execute me, Grey Warden or not.”
“Yes, you are a Grey Warden, Anders,” the commander said sternly. “You pledged yourself to the Wardens just as the rest of us did when you went through your joining. You can't just walk away from that.” His arm swung out, indicating the expansive town around them. “And what of these ponies? Sure they are friendly, but to abandon your own people?” Even as he made his points clear, the commander continued to speak, barely realizing his own words until they were out of his mouth. “How about such things as a relationship? It must be a lonely thing to find you're the only one of your kind.” The commander blinked as he said those final words, barely recognizing them as his own. They almost sounded like an excuse, like he was grasping at straws for some unknown reason.
Anders merely sat there, eying the commander closely for a moment before casually saying, “That seems a bit shallow, doesn't it?” As the commander matched the mage's previous investigating stare, Anders gave a simple shrug. “I mean, you wouldn't fault me for falling for an elf or dwarven gal, right? What makes one of these ponies any different? It's all about innermost feelings and that tripe, isn't it? I don't think a little difference in posture and body hair should change that.” He rubbed the back of his head as he smiled awkwardly. “Not that I'm saying my eye's been caught or anything... heh” A wry smirk stretched the corner of his mouth as he looked his commander in the eyes. “You're one to talk anyway. I've heard about you and that shape shifting witch. How wild the two of you were as you used her talents for... other purposes.”
The Warden-Commander's face flushed for a moment as he glared at the mage. “Now where did you hear a fool thing like that?” he asked, his tone sounding more like a demand than a question.
“Oghren,” Anders said breathlessly, chuckling uncontrollably.
A weary sigh escaped the Warden as he rubbed his eyes, silently muttering, “I'm going to strangle that dwarf.”
Wiping away a tear from his eye, Ander's sudden burst of amusement quickly died down. As soon as it did, the mage noticeably stone-faced, making the commander lock their gazes together with an iron-clad firmness. “In all seriousness here,” Anders said, his tone reflecting his hardened stance, “I have the utmost respect for the Grey Wardens and what those like you have done, but... do you really think we have any importance now?”
“Not important?” the commander questioned, not understanding him. “Of course we are, we protect the land from-”
“From what?” Anders stressed. “From what lowly amounts of darkspawn are lucky enough to escape to the surface on their own? The ones that can easily be handled by common soldiers? All our job now is to sit around and wait for another big black dragon to pop out of the ground for another Blight. I know we're all about vigilance and everything but come on, we've fulfilled our purpose.” He pointed a firm finger toward the commander. “You ended the last Blight, remarkably so I might add. I think you've more than earned the right to retire. Can we honestly expect that the next Blight will come in our lifetime? Or even the lifetime of our children?” A melancholy sigh left him as he continued to look the commander in the eye. “I think there's only one thing that we need to ask ourselves now. Does Ferelden really need us?”
The Warden-Commander said nothing, his eyes breaking away from Anders as they looked aimlessly away, lost in thought. The mage's words struck him deeply, that single question playing back in his mind at least a thousand times within the few seconds that silence fell between them. Anders could see that there wasn't going to be an answer from the Warden, not soon anyway.
“Anyway, it's my decision, not yours,” Anders said as he stood up from the table, abandoning what was left of his milkshake. “You might not have reason to want to be here, but I have no reason to go back. And maybe... maybe I've found reason to stay.” With nothing left to be said, Anders excused himself and left the commander alone with his thoughts.
As time began to pass, the Warden continued to simply sit there in silence, his mind already bursting with thoughts and questions, many of which he didn't know if he wanted answers to. Eventually, his unfinished coffee and Anders' milkshake were taken away, and more and more ponies around him began to leave as the blue sky slowly darkened.
While he continued to sit there in silence, all that he could manage to do was keep his gaze lowered as his thumb gingerly rubbed against his finger, feeling the loop of polished wood that was wrapped around it. It was difficult for him to realize how much time was passing in his own idleness, he barely even cared to realize it as his focus was lost on the simple action. Before long however, a surprise came to him as he realized where his other hand was, brought up to his neck to grasp at the pendent that hung from it.
The Warden's focus on his finger left him as he lifted the pendent up to his gaze, looking at symbol of the Commander of the Grey replicated so well, all for a simple gift that held such a strange meaning to it. A saddened sigh escaped the human as his thoughts drifted to a certain someone, and the more his thoughts lingered, the more Anders' last question plagued his mind.
“Come come now, Spike,” a feminine voice said. The commander was broken away from his mental silence as his eyes followed the source of the voice, seeing a white-coated unicorn trotting by. A bag filled with what looked like fabric was floating along with her as she continued forward.
Trailing just behind her, the small dragon Spike was carrying a tower of similar bags, filled with fabrics ribbons and spools of thread. The stack of supplies was easily taller than he was, making it difficult for the stubby-armed assistant to carry them well, causing him to lag behind the passing mare.
As though feeling the commander's gaze on her, Rarity's head turned toward the spectating human, her demeanor brightening slightly as she changed direction and headed toward him. “Oh my,” she said with delight. “It's wonderful to see you.” She paused for a moment as her eyes looked him up and down. “I must say, those clothes look much better on you than I thought. I'm so glad I was able to see you in them.”
Looking at his clothes himself, the Warden gave a weak chuckle and said, “Yeah... I guess I never got the chance to thank you for them.”
“No need to say a thing,” the unicorn replied firmly. “It was the least I could do after what happened with those changelings, I was just glad to know that everyone was alright.” Again her eyes drifted to the humans attire, her smile lowering slightly to a momentary frown. “Though... I do admit that they are a little big on you... But that was the best I could do with what measurements I managed to get. Twilight nearly threw me out of the library, thinking I was going to accidentally hurt you or something, she was doting over you something fierce.”
“It's fine, really,” the commander reassured. A struggled grown from Spike caused the human's gaze to drift toward him for a moment, seeing the dragon still having trouble with his large load. “Uh... are you going somewhere?”
Rarity looked at the single bag she was carrying, as though he was indicating that specifically. “Oh yes,” she answered. “I simply had to get a few things for a new order I'm working on. Me and Spike were just heading back home so I could get to work.”
“Ah,” the Warden muttered, still staring at the dragon. “Well, how about I help a little too? It's the least I could do for the clothes.” Without waiting for an answer, he took a good portion of what Spike was carrying, earning an agitated glare from the dragon in response.
“Alright then, thank you for the help,” Rarity said, before turning back onto her original path and leading her two helpers to her boutique. They made it there in no time at all. The alabaster mare then opened the door and began taking what the two assistants were carrying, levitating them into her home until they were both empty handed.
“That's it?” the commander asked, making sure there was nothing else she needed.
“No, that was all I needed,” Rarity answered, giving a big a smile to the Warden. “Thank you again for your help.” Her violet eyes then fell to Spike, who was grinning from ear to ear as she happily patted him on the head. “And thank you, Spikey Wikey.” She then turned back into her boutique, while Spike stared at her dreamily. As front door to the clothing store shut, the Warden eyed the purple dragon for sometime, causing him to look up at the human questioningly.
“What was that?” the commander asked, nodding toward Rarity's boutique.
The dragon quickly became sheepish as he looked around in a poor attempt to look innocent. “What was what?” he murmured, walking away from the building quickly.
Not about to let the infantile creature get away easily, the commander followed after him, saying, “You were staring at her like a child struck with his first crush.” Within that moment, he then realized his own words and a huff of amusement escaped him. “Oh... I see, you do have a little crush.”
Spike's eyes widened as as his cheeks shifted to a dull red, being surprisingly noticeable for having scales. For a moment, it looked as though the dragon was about to deny any such claim that the human could make. But he just huffed in agitation, folded his arms, and said, “Okay, yeah, I like her. So what?” The dragon's clawed hands clasped together, his eyes sparkling with wonderment. “She's the most beautiful creature in the world, and you better not say a thing to her!”
A small shrug came from the commander as they continued to walk. “Seems like an odd pairing,” he murmured. Strangely enough, the thought of little scaled ponies with serpent-like tails and spines came to mind, making him shudder slightly. “Anyway, isn't she a bit old for you? Not to mention way off on the species scale.”
“No it's not,” Spike said defensively, his cheeks puffing out slightly in his indignation. “I like her and that's all that matters. I just know that she'll feel the same way too... someday.”
Again the commander was unable to keep his own amusement in check as he chuckled lightly, being given another glare as a result. “Are you sure you even really like her?” he asked. “You're pretty young to think you've found your lifelong partner. Everyone thinks they've found true love with someone, you'll realize when you're older that there's more to it than that.”
Spike scoffed as he muttered, “You sound just like Twilight.” The statement caused the Warden to eye the dragon curiously as he continued. “She's always talking about how I don't really know who I like, that my head's too young to be sure.” He began flapping his fingers up and down on his thumb, as though his hand were talking. “Blah blah blah... But I know that Rarity's the most beautiful mare there is, and I don't have to know that with this,” with one claw, he tapped his head. “That's all Twilight ever does. She thinks and thinks and thinks, but I know you can't think about why you like someone. Just like I can't think about why I like the delicious taste of gemstones...” he licked his lips hungrily, “I just do. That's why I know I like Rarity.”
Another sound of amusement left the commander. But instead of it being one of mockery, the human knelt down next to the dragon, smiling cheerfully as he placed a hand on his scaled shoulder and said, “Well, I still think you're a bit too young to know for certain, but you at least seem to understand how it all works. So you keep trying to get your mare, but keep an open eye just in case you start liking someone else.” The commander smiled as he gave a wink. “Maybe even a nice girly dragon.”
Spike shook his head stubbornly as he said, “No, only Rarity. But... you at least listen, unlike Twilight. She has no room to talk anyway, it's not like she's ever liked somepony before.”
The commander blinked, his smile shrinking terribly fast. The purple dragon didn't seem to notice as he began walking away again, causing the human to shuffle his feet after him. They walked in silence for a few minutes before they again stopped, this time in front of a large tree made into a library.
“Well, thanks for the help with Rarity, I guess,” Spike murmured, still not liking the fact that the human stole some of his thunder. “But I need to get back to Twilight. She's been acting a bit weird lately and I need to see if she needs help with anything.”
“Yeah... so long, Spike,” the commander murmured, barely audible for the dragon. Then with a simple wave goodbye, the scaled assistant ran toward the library, disappearing inside.
Alone once again, the Warden-Commander walked away silently, his gaze set skyward as he saw the blue in the sky darkening. It was getting late, much more quickly than he had realized. Looking toward the horizon, he could see the vast shades of dark blues and fiery oranges that came as the last vestiges of sunlight fell over the land as nightfall was soon coming to replace it.
It was there, stuck between night and day, that Equestria seemed to look the most beautiful. During that wonderful time of the day where there truly seemed to be a balance between the two royal sisters and their continuous cycle of light and dark. The more the commander thought on it, the more he realized how much he would miss the Equestrian twilight.
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Maker's breath! Has it really been thirty chapters?
Man... I remember when I first started this, I figured it would only be like fifteen, maybe twenty tops. We're still not even done yet...
I also remember swearing that if I ever wrote a story that went to thirty chapters again, I'd chop off my arms... So I guess I'm going to go do that...
Hopefully I'll get out of the hospital soon enough to post a new chapter.
2184952 You'll have to type it with your mouth?
huahueuh
i c dat
... You feelin' okay?
I see what you did there at the end
What will happen when the wardens go mad from the taint in there blood if they stay in Equestria? they need to go back so they can go into the deep roads and die with honor.
2184952 Maybe with super amazing BIONIC ARMS.
2185244 Yes, the sly little implied meaning. I noticed that as well.
If I recall correctly at the end of DA2 isn't the Commander of the Grey missing?
He never asked for this. To be thrown into a world unlike anything he has every seen, to make friends with such peaceful and kind beings, to be tortured by something as foul as a demon, for one of his own kind to commit atrocities against the innocent, nor to find his heart yearning for another after his previous love left for unknown lands. It is a sad predicament.
2184952 you mean metaphorical arms right?
2184952 its going to be a little tricky to get the second one, you going to hold the blade in your mouth?
2186146
gamer.ru/system/attached_images/images/000/418/679/original/i_never_asked_for_this____by_thejr0d-d48dnbw.png?1315156688
or darkspawn bidding their time underground
isn't it?.
1. Uhh, is this supposed to be Biding?
2. Extra full stop.
I don't know why no one's noticed it yet (at least, not that I know of), but you keep using the word 'then' when it should be 'than'.
I've also noticed this same mistake on the previous chapters.
Oh, and also:
*cherry
Anyway, that ending line. Very astute.
I wonder, are you gonna disregard Dragon Age 2, and letting Anders stay, or what?
2185423 They'll do swan dives off of Canterlot castle. Maybe not as heroic as taking on the darkspawn horde, but it'll look amazing.
2184952
Just letting you know, you've officially become my favorite author evar. This stuff is just so damn good. You're great at keeping the obvious hilarity of this being a Dragon Age/pony cross over down to a point where it doesn't just make this silly; it just makes it awesome.
2184952
This is amazing
I just ran into this story and I like it.
If I recall arn't grey wardens doomed to slowly succumb to the dark spawn blood they are required to drink?
Thus Anders actually has to go back or he'd endanger the ponies.
2199355 Why? Old Wardens have been going to Deep Roads to find death when the Call become stronger.... they can "hear" it only because of theyre blood. There is no darskpawn in Equestria so it's really hard to tell how this would end for Anders. Without the call maybe he would have a chance to actually die from old age... if not he always can go deep, deep into the Everfree forest to end his life there.
The ending made me smile
2185423
i read the part of low Chance of survival and suicide killing the archdemon, but i didn´t know going crazy was in the Job description.
That last sentence...
Beautifully crafted, sir. A tip of the hat to you.
Some of you seem to be mistaken. I started playing dragon age again, thanks to the story. But when you become a Grey Warden the darkspawn blood makes you slowly lose your sanity and you end up dieing at around 30 because the blood slowly taints you.