Due to a combination of blood magic, an ancient elven artifact and the well placed punch of a golem, the Commander of the Grey and several of his fellow Grey Wardens find themselves in the magical land of Equestria.
Coming from a land that not only has magic, but fears and mistrusts those who use it, how will they react to see land of ponies who depend on magic to keep their lives in perpetual harmony? How will the ponies react to the strange creatures coming from a land of bloody conflict, demons and magical intolerance?
A Dragon Age crossover.
Chapters (43)
Hmm...OK, I see potential in this. There are far too few Dragon Age crossovers...and "Pony Age" was mostly a retread of the game plot with ponies.
Proceed
I quite enjoyed this. Kudos,
Ok 0_0 I need more of this, depending on how you go about this i could come to love this story
Hehe funny thing is i was a blood mage
50 shades of grey warden
Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!!!
Oh, it's the expansion pack, isn't it? I'd hoped for Sten and maybe Leliana, myself...
Anyways, I don't see real problems with the editing and grammar, which is (alas) more than I could say about a lot of other fics. At the very least it shows that you respect your readers enough to proofread your works, which is always nice.
I had, however, two problems with the actual fic: one, it simply lacks liveliness. Maybe it's just me, but I don't really find the writing engaging.
And two, I just don't see where could the fic go. I know that in the Dragon Age universe people universally fear and hate mages, and this could be the base of the conflic in the fic, but you made it clear that your Warden isn't anti-magist (is that even a word?) And I can't really imagine our favorite ponies chasing the good guys away just because they happen to be human; in fact, Twilight's bound to be interested in DA-magic (and Shale. Btw, are there living construct in Equestria?)
So I guess that, unless you have something else up in your sleeve, the only conflict that could be considered is the good old "drat, I'm stuck in Equestria, how will I go back to my word?" - and that's been done a thousand times, so I'm afraid you may have a hard time if you want to write something unique and memorable.
And, uh, three... why is it tagged as [Comedy]? Correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't really look like a comedy
1530054 Well... I do have some pretty big sleeves...
1529413 That's actually the title of the sequel. A clopfic that involves Celestia and Alistair.
Celestial & ALASTAIR?!?!?! UBWAAAAAAAH!!!!
You've stopped me at "Shade of Grey"
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For the first chapter it is pretty well written.
Seems like a promising story, like to see more.
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Wow, I am likeing this so far, the DA characters all are acting in character and the plot hook is set nicely, cant wait to see where it gose from here
Wait a second... All of the characters... In character?
...What kind of sick, twisted demon did you make a deal with to control such power, apostate?
The only way this could get better is if a Male/Joking/Mage Hawke joined them. Though, one witty mage may be all that Equestria can manage...
The writing's utterly fantastic, though I see times where practice could make it even better. We'll see as time goes, huh?
That was certainly an interesting read. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this, there really are too few Dragon Age crossovers on this site. Can't wait for the next chapter!
1532605 Words cannot sum up how hardly I laughed at that, so have an emote instead!
Somehow I feel flattered....
A creature is referred to as "it" (something you were doing before the commander woke up).
Unless Spike recognizes that the creature is, indeed, male, it should remain "it".
...That's it, really. Thanks for the update, Icecane. Really good chapter, albeit short.
Spike, an Archdemon... Hah!
Eeeeenteresting...
Can't wait to see Fluttershy meet Ser Pounce-a-Lot.
Oh, and Human Noble FTW.
Poor commander. But still funny.
I'm curious, are you going with the default name Aedan, or are you leaving it ambiguous, so we readerfolks can fill it in on our own?
Oh...and was that Morrigan's ring your boi was wearing?
...Tie up the warden commander
What could possibly go wrong?
Books, the commanders worst enemy.
Commander get your act together!!! Your making us Wardens look stupid! And twilight better ask/beg for forgiveness when things get straightened out.
He gets knocked out too easily, but good chapter nonetheless.
Hmm...
Seeing as how "it's" is the abbreviated form of "it is" and "its" is something belonging to it...
...Oh, right, the chapter.
Yeah, it was pretty fucking awesome.
Hmm, band of wood? Could be Morrigan's ring, but could also just be a normal one...
...Wait, Morrigan's ring could track him! What if... No, no, too far-fetched.
1549892 Huh, really? I always thought it's worked both ways, even when showing ownership.
Master writer Icecane is not...
One would think the Commander of the Grey would have taken the Templar training to combat magic. For some reason people always make Twilight being able to easily handle guys that have killed gods and demons, that always rubs me the wrong way.
Yeah yeah, I know, the whole Ursa thing, still...
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I agree
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Remember, Twilight's tango'd with mad Goddesses and Gods before and come out the victor.
I do like how the Warden-Commander isn't instantly going, 'Groovy, let's settle down and have some hay-fries'. His disbelief and scepticism is nice. Although, I thought Fereldan had horses. You'd think that they'd have more than a few, especially among the nobility, of which Cousland is the son of a Tyrn (Tern? Tyern? I'll have to check the spelling...). I always figured that horses weren't in the game because of coding, gameplay, and time issues. There just wasn't a need to render horse models when there was no horseback riding.
1556748 Ehhh not really. It's more like the MLP villains are incompetent. NMM let them get to the elements and use cheap tricks instead of just killing them. Discord never took the seriously and let them get the elements instead or outright eliminating the only thing that could stop him. Chrysalis would have won if she had disposed of Cadance instead of keeping her alive, actually acted like her and not being a bitch to everyone.
And Twilight needed the elements to accomplish her victories.
The Warden Commander has killed demons, gods, armies or darkspawn and soldiers, fought abomination and blood mages. And yet a librarian pony beats him? One would think he be more prepared to counter magic since he was hunting a blood mage.
Ferelden doesn't have horses because those reminds them of the Chevaliers from Orlais.
She strained to keep the Ursa bound and lifted a water tower. She is strong, sure, but then again that's the problem with crossovers, the power levels. Marvel and DC had the same problem when they did their crossover fights, since DC has much more powerful characters. MLP is a kids show so they don't bother much with that, and when you crossover with a serious work the power difference becomes obvious. SA keeping an entire city shielded? Np, and yet the Susan Storm struggles with that thanks to years of development.
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While I agree on the killing gods bit, presuming this Warden has taken on either the Mother or the possessed dragon, he may well not be anti-magic spec. If he's actually a Warrior he could have been a Templar, but he could also have been a number of other things, such as Champion, Reaver, Berserker, Guardian or Spirit Warrior. Of course he may have been a combat oriented Rogue, meaning a completely different set of specialisations.
1557014 He seems to be wearing heavy armor, so doesn't sound like a rogue. Dunno what he would pick for his commanders, but if he is sword and shield would go with templar, spirit warrior and guardian, cause everything else sounds more towards 2 handed, but it's been a while since I played origins so eh.
1556374 First off If his armor didn't protect him from the 'blood mage' then what makes you think it would protect him from simple telekinesis. also magical if he cant fast cast like twilight then theirs know way he can defend himself from her without first killing her out right.
1556825 yes mlp villains are incompetent to the point of idiocy but then again so are villains from most games and shows. a smart villain would have gone after the most dangerous targets IE} Causland, the bard, any of the final fantasy games, skyrim, infamous 2, god of war, fallout 3 and fallout new vegas, lord of the rings they couldn't even keep their eyes on one frigging pare of hobbits, Etc. need i go on?{ himself rather than waiting on them to arrive at his metaphorical door step strong enough to kill multiple gods due to killing the majority of his/her minions. it's like the bad guy's are training their usurpers on purpose. we'd probably get the same thing if twilight was forced to abandon the elements and had to face the nightmare/discord/chrysalis on her own.
And the few games where the main villain is smart are the games where you either are the villain or the villain is weak as all hell. not to mention in most instances the heroes are stupid as well and rather than killing the villain while they are 'monologue-ING' they sit their till the villain finished speaking. cant we ever get a battle where the hero pulls a Celtic charge and just beats the enemy before they can drop the heroes IQ with their stupid lame excuses for being idiotic and cruel numbskulls that just happen to be evil?
tear this apart and tell me what you think.
cheers
1557355 I didn't say anything about his armor protecting him from magic, but if you bring that up there are a lot of items in the game that along with templar training are more than enough to grant 100% spell immunity. Sure, a lot of those are templar equipment, but I would guess he could get and warden set with the same protection.
Eh, ok.
Dragon Age. Loghain DID try to kill the player a lot of times, and so did the mother and archdemon, but Loghain couldn't focus on a single party in middle of a civil war, in an usurped throne. He used mercenaries and bounty hunters to try to kill you. Hell, if you go to the dwarves very early you won't beat the mercenaries there so it means the player need to be stronger to enter.
Skyrim. Alduin did try to kill the Dragonborn which backfired and ended up setting the player in the path to kill him. A lot of people sent assassins after you, but then again you are a dragon god made flesh so...
Fallout 3 if you give the enclave what they want they just kill you, unless you play and get Eden in your side. New Vegas they did kill you, but the robot saved you, and the factions send assassins after you. Again, you have god tier tech on your side and the legion uses hockey pads.
inFamous 2, the beast needed him alive, and a bunch of rednecks can't kill a superhuman.
Kekfa did win halfway through the game, he destroyed the world, the other are to numerous to analyze.
In Mass Effect 2 you CAN kill a krogan villian in middle of his monologue.
Most of this can be attributed to simple narrative necessity, since one could ask why didn't Rita just sniped the power rangers if she knew where they lived, or just attacked another city.
1557481 in Skyrim Alduin saved the dragon born only for the bastard to metaphorically turn around and gut him in turn. if Alduin had just stayed in hiding for a year or two gathering his forces he would not have had to worry about the dragon born anymore.
in fallout new vegas benny wasn't the main villain and was an ideot for not making sure the courier he shot in the head was dead. then the legion or what ever faction your against sends assasins once you become a noticeable nail in their backside to die and give you free gear, money and experience. in fallout 3 yes the enclave capture you and can kill you on the spot but they should have made a better ai and kept their morals straight. they might have been a stronger force to be reckoned with if they had.
kefka was a lethal jester all things considered and loved killing and hating the world, when it finally came time to kill the heroes he just gloated about his victory and threw them off the tower and assumed the ensuing cataclysm killed the heroes off, rather than searching the world for theim and making sure they were either subjected to his control, confirmed dead, and if not then slain outright. when you have a dangerous enemy on the loose you don't just sit around assuming when they finally come after you that you can slaughter them just as easily.
and i praised every minute of that scene in mass effect two. even though i chose the paragon path i sometimes made that choice just for the lulz.
I love story's that have competent villains. also Twilight is strong enough to release a raw unconcentrated magical burst strong enough to destroy a house whereas most of our heroes are well trained killers their magic strong enough to bust down doors and cause heavy damage upon their enemy's. as for the armor on the armor i think its designed to fight off demon and human magic it doesn't say anything about pony magic. nor could he have been prepared to face twilight ahead of time since she was a surprise.
most villains are ridiculously stupid don't you think?
cheers
1557481
You're right, the problem does lay in the narrative medium and demographic. MLP is, at it's core, a Family show. Dragon Age, on the other hand, is for adults and has a Mature tag to go with it. If MLP was targetting adults, it can be assumed that the trials Twilight and the other girls faced would have been more severe and brutal. The themes going along with it being likewise more mature. But at the end, Twilight would have still won. Would she have been unscathed? Unknown. There can be arguments made either way. But no matter what, the law of Narrative Causality and her being the protagonist would mean she'd 'win' in the end.
It's up to the author of a cross-over that is blending two IPs from different genres which way to lean with the characters and events. So far he seems to be leaning to parity between Twilight and Cousland. Remember, Cousland was already knocked out when Twilight arrived. He is beat up, has a concussion (at least), and in an unfamiliar location with magic that may not even work the same way as magic in Fereldan.
As for Skyrim and Alduin: That dragon was a moron. He had plenty of oppertunities to off the dragonborn before the player gets the Dragonrend Shout. But again, the law of narrative causality (not to mention save/reload) means he doesn't just stomp you.
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All good point, but I think there is one more thing to consider interactive vs non interactive medium. A game is limited by gameplay and the player himself. It wouldn't be much fun to just stay hiding, planning and get killed by a nuclear stroke in the first five pages by a competent villain. Meanwhile in books or shows you can make more engaging scenes not limited to gameplay.
Warning: TVTropes.
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Ahhhhh!!!!! It's TV Tropes! No, keep it away! Keeeep it Awayyyyyyyy!!! ... ... Oh, who am I kidding? Time to get my walking stick and hiking boots, it's Wiki-Walking Time!
Heh, goodness so much discussion.
1556374 The main thing for anyone to see is how Dragon Age magic would transfer from a game to a literarry viewpoint. Since without the magic of a healthbar (insert hero here) couldn't take a hundred sword swipes before falling.
The thing about templars is also a bit of a grey area. Personally, I don't think it would make much sense for him to have their abilities. (though I think in a realistic sense they would only have a small amount of extra resistance to it as well as a limited interuption) Alistair really shouldn't be able to teach you how to be a templar. He admits to only learning a small amount of templar combat, while most of his time was spent in study. It's why he doesn't have the lyrium addiction. That also means he really shouldn't be able to teach it to someone. Plus, now correct me if I'm wrong, I don't think the cleanse aura ability works on yourself.
And in terms of Twilight "beating" the Warden, she really didn't beat him, she simply kept him restrained with her magic. Keeping him pinned to the wall would be a more powerful form of her telekinesis. Which is also an ability that the Warden wouldn't be prepared for as most Dragon Age magic is offensive. It can also go into the fact that he is still weak from what has happened to him, making him easy to restrain for someone who is as magically adept as Twilight.
1557664 one game where the hero I can say is brilliantly thought out and the villains are also just as well thought out is halflife and halflife 2 with the mute psycho theoretical physicist Gordon freeman who using only his intelligence, help from both the rebels and the black mesa science team/security teams, and a hazardous environmental suite MKIV. manages to defeat the alien invasion force and survive against near insurmountable odds against an army of soldiers, special forces, and aliens that are already either there or popping in from random portals created from the resonance cascade.
the only character i hate is the Gman.
and this ladies and gentle men is why you never leave your own dimension with out proper head protection...
this is very good so far keep it up.
They seem to be getting knocked out a bit to easy for heroes.
Only mistake I saw.
Poor Alistair, lost and captured by royalty. Will certainly make for interesting conversation. Shale with the Diamond Dogs will also be a laugh. The one that concerns me though is the templar's reaction to a world on magical creatures...
Alistair just got owned by a goddess. whadya know.
Hmmm... Alistair and Luna? Oh my... the amount of snark and ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE is going to be epic next chapter. I hope.
Ok so, this one is a bit better example of the last chapter comment. Ok so Celestia is strong but I doubt she would put her whole power into submitting him, so he could at least momentarily dispel her tk with templar powers? Well it all depends on how you are building the world and structure of magic. Looking forward to that. I wonder how human magic will react in Equestria.
1563324 Everyone knows video game heroes are weak to cutscenes.
1563480 would he even have time to respond to suddenly being thrown across a room in a may unlike any magic he had ever encountered before(not needing to go through the motions of spell casting)? and would the Templar training against magic help at all here seeing as the draw magic from a completely different source, drawn from the unicorns body instead of the fade? Only time will tell
Can't wait for next chapter. hopefully more alistair
Speaking of Dragon Age and ponies, I suddenly remembered this.
LUNA! thats not how you treat royalty!