Pinkamena's Bakery
Human VS
Pinkamena's Bakery
=================================================================================================
Arena: Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville
Challange: Survive Pinkamena's basement and get out alive, and not turned into a baked good.
Danger Level: Severe
Match beginning in 3......2......1.......
=================================================================================================
Austin awakens in a dimly-lit room, strapped to a blood-stained metal table. He sees a variety of torture tools set on a table beside him. All he can see and smell is blood and death. Austin looks around from his place on the table. He doesn't see much else, just a large door, a few other torture devices and a few dead ponies laying the corner of the room.
"Oh hey Frankie! Bobby! What's up bro? You seen better days, huh? HEY! Patty! You look the worse for wear. Sorry I couldn't save you guys." Austin joked with the corpses. Pinkamena then walks into the room and smiles.
"Hello Austin. Glad to see you're finally awake."
"Hello Pinkie! Good to see you're finally here."
"Don't call me Pinkie. It's Pinkamena now."
"Pinkamena? Like Pinkamena Diane Pie?"
"Yes..."
"Sounds tasty."
"That's not funny."
"I thought it was. Not my fault you have the last name 'Pie'."
"Cute. Now shut up and get screaming..."
"That's doesn't make any sense."
"It doesn't have to make sense! I'm Pinkie- OOP...I mean Pinkamena...Diane Pie."
"Surrrre, whatever you say Pinkie-mena."
"Stop calling me that!"
Pinkamena grabbed a scalpel from the little table beside him, and lowered it to his chest.
"Wait a sec."
"What is it now?!"
"You're ABSOLUTELY certain you have enough ingredients to make me into cupcakes?"
"Yes! I am!"
"Icing?"
"Got it."
"Eggs? Flour?"
"Yes. Yes. Now just shut up and-"
"What about chocolate chips?"
"Chocolate...ch-...WHAT AM I SAYING? No, I don't have chocolate chips. But your cupcakes don't need them!"
"You suuuuure? Come on...Think of the taste."
Pinkamena's mouth started to drool, but she snapped out of it.
"STOP SAYING THAT!!"
"The melty soft chocolate chips mingling with the taste of flesh, blood and vanilla icing..."
She started to drool again. Deep down, she was still Pinkie. Just really insane Pinkie. Didn't mean she hated sweets anymore, though...
"No! I...I don't need.....ch-chocolate.....chips."
"Just imagine it...And me being 6 feet tall? Man, that's a lot of cupcakes....6-9 dozen at least!"
She seemed to go into a bit of a trance, thinking about all those cupcakes.
"Pinkamena?"
No answer.
"Pinkamena? Hellloooooooo?"
Still nothing.
"Pinkie? Pinkie Pie? Pinkamena Diane Pie? Anything?"
She just stared into space, drooling. She was lost in her own thoughts. It's gonna be a while before she snapped back to reality.
"Pinkamena!"
She snapped back and blinked.
"What? Oh...right..the human."
"Now, are you SURE you don't need to go buy some chocolate chips?"
"Okay okay okay...Just...stay put." Pinkamena ran out of the bakery lickety-split, and dropped her scalpel. Austin just barely managed to catch it in between his fingers, and flips it upside down, then carefully, ever so carefully, slices through his bondings. He gives the rest of the straps a few quick slices, and stands up, putting the scalpel back on the table.
"So how can I mess around with a bakery? BY BAKING OF COURSE!!"
Austin ran upstairs and started pulling spices, staples and powders from the shelfs, throwing them into a big bowl in quick succession. He stared at the pile of powder in the bowl.
"Hmmm....Needs some red...."
He goes to the fridge and opens it, revealing a variety of pony body parts.
"Scratch that idea..." He slams the fridge closed, then looks around.
"Water!" He takes a large measuring cup and collects some water, then dumps it into the bowl, and continues the onslaught of baking supplies.
-------------------------------
"Perfect!" Austin pours his crazy concoction into muffin trays, and throws it into the oven on HIGH. Now that his mixture is baking, he runs back downstairs to play with Pinkamena's torture implements.
"Ooooh! A hacksaw! I wonder if it can cut through steel?" Austin runs the serrated edge against the metal table he was strapped to. It hardly makes a scratch in the table, but severely breaks the teeth of the saw.
"Whoopsie." Austin grinned and tossed it over his shoulder, then looks at the large wood-chipper in the corner.
"It looks broken! I'll fix it!" He tears off the maintenence panel and starts pulling wires and gears, then removes one of the blades and puts it somewhere else. Finally, he tosses her supply of surgery tools into the machine and closes the panel.
"I wonder what else I can mess with..." He spots her collection of butcher's knives. Cleavers, blades, saws, and all sorts of razors. It was quite impressive. Too bad Austin tried chopping the steel table with them. Now dented and bent, Austin hangs the blade collection back up right where it was. There was only ONE more thing Austin needed to mess with. Pinkamena's infamous cutie-mark dress.
He walked over to her closet, and opened it up. Inside, she had multiple scraps and pelts from different ponies, but Austin only wanted the unicorn horn necklace and the dress. He took them both, and walked upstairs. He had something special in mind for these....
-------------------------------------
Pinkamena returned shortly after, and when she came downstairs, she was in a state of shock. Her entire basement slaughterhouse was now a mess, with pieces of her torture devices scattered and broken, her knife collection bent and dented, and her victim was now gone. She dropped the bag of chocolate chips she had in her mouth and twitched.
"WAIT! My cutie mark dress! Oh it had better be okay!!" She ran to the closet and saw it missing, then immediately ran upstairs in a frantic search for her prized possession. She saw it burning in the main area, with a note scrawled beside it in ashes:
'Bye Bye Pinkie! Sorry I left the party early, but the refreshments were gross. I wouldn't open the oven if I were you.'
Pinkamena extinguished the flaming dress and nearly cried when she saw it had burned almost entirely. She then heard something...like..Metal flexing and straining.
"What the bu-"
Her oven then exploded in a flurry of burnt cake batter, muffin trays, and very hot dough, spraying the entire bakery kitchen and the opposite wall in the main area.
Austin smiled, chewing on a vegetarian cupcake taken from Sugarcube Corner, staring at his havoc from afar. He finished his cupcake and tossed the wrapper, walking away with a satisfied smirk. The night rang out with a scream of despair and frustration from Pinkamena Diane Pie.
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What did he do with the necklace...?
I can only imagine Nightmare Moon and Solar Flare.
MOAR
austin is best troll not even
can beat him XD
Oh dear god. MOAR!
Explosions! BOOM!
Do Sweet Apple Massacre and the bad future from Pony POV Series! :D
1461518 I'd love to, but I'm going to need some information about the second one first. I also think that "Sweet Apple Massacre" is a little....explicit, so I may or may not write it.
XDDD
1462650 That's cool. :)
win, win beyond the stars and expansions of the universe itself.....you sir deserve an internets.
YAY! AUTHOR'S NOTE!
:
Hello everypony! Austin here to give you the low-down on this story!
I want readers to know that if you have a fiction or situation you would like to see on Human VS, let me know!
Here are some guidelines to help paint the picture of what is and isn't accepted:
Dark/Horror/Gore: Definately, I don't mind this at all! But try to make sure you get your facts before requesting, mmkay?
Cute/Comedy/Awkward: Sure thing, but you need to make sure that it's somewhat challenging or has a problem that needs to be fixed: i.e. Escaping
Explicit/18+/Sex: Sorry, no can do. I'd like to keep this at least 14+, or PG-13. No exceptions. Such fiction will include: Sweet Apple Massacre, Molestia, Lil' Miss Rarity, ect.
Inescapable/Impossible Situations: No. Just no. How can I write a story about a human screwing everything up without him being able to escape?
Non-MLP Related/Crossovers: Well, this will vary. If it is a crossover, say, Assassin's Creed, or maybe Doctor Who, then sure. I can easily make those pony related somehow. But if it's not pony-related or cannot become pony-related, i.e.: Internet, Humans, Locked Rooms, Mystery etc..., then I cannot actually post it on the sight period. Their rules, not mine! Sorry!
Magical/Supernatural Mishaps: I don't mind these in the slightest, just try to make it somewhat challenging, but not so much that it will be impossible. Such as: Changeling Infestations, Shrinking Spell Gone Awry, Discord.
Canon Material: Yes! I would love to throw Austin into these! Try to find something from the show, like the Spa Ponies, Discord, Nightmare Moon, or even Magic Kindergarden (Which may or may not be the next chapter!)
Alright, just last minute conditions before you post:
*Give me the situation, the 'Arena' (The setting in which this will all happen), and the Danger Level (This ranges from 5 different levels: None, Low, Moderate, High, Severe).
*Your OC's MAY be allowed. It depends on if I want them in the story or not.
*No Human situations. The OC's may not even make it into this yet, so don't get your hopes up.
*Please send it to me on my User Page, in a Personal Message, or here, on this story. Any requests on my dA, YouTube, or any other stories will be ignored and deleted. No exceptions.
*Have fun! Who knows? You may end up being credited for my next chapter!
Stay frosty guys!
This is DubleTruble96, signing off!
That was satisfying to see Pinkamena suffer for her crimes against ponies.
1458614 you don't wanna know m8!