Magic Kindergarden
Human VS
Magic Kindergarden
=================================================================================================
Arena: Canterlot School For Gifted Unicorns, Kindergarden Classroom
Challenge: Pass Kindergarden Class without going insane.
Danger Level: Low
=================================================================================================
Match beginning in 3.....2.......1........
=================================================================================================
Austin spawns in a desk much too small for him, with a textbook about basic magic and a pencil. The fillies and colts that are all there giggle and point at the giant human who has just appeared in their classroom.
"What are YOU doing here? You look older than my mom!"
"Granted, I probably am. Ever watch the show 'Human VS'? It's the new hit television series that's been broadcasting all over Equestria. We're currently filming the episode right now." Austin smiled at the little filly who just insulted him.
"My mom won't let me watch it. She says it's a mommy and daddy show." The little unicorn pouted.
"Oh, well that's a shame. The point is, my current challenge is to pass Kindergarden class without letting little fillies and colts like you get to my head!" Austin just beamed at her, and the filly stared with a rather befuddled look in her eyes. Austin then knew it was probably the time to terminate the conversation.
The teacher walked in, knowing well about the filming session, so she didn't bother asking about the human who had just spawned in a desk in front of her.
"Welcome to Magic Kindergarden." She said, writing her name on the board. "My name is Ms. Shinestar."
Austin immediately raised his hand. "TEACHER...OOH! TEACHER TEACHER!!"
She sighed and rubbed her forehead gently with her hoof. "Yes Austin?"
"Can I get a bigger desk that's more human sized? I think I'm about to-"
The desk then shattered to pieces, sending Austin crashing all of a foot to the floor.
"-break it." Austin said, finishing his sentence with a broad grin.
Shinestar rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, but we only have desks designed for fillies and colts under the age of 8, so you'll just have to make do."
"Now, we are here to learn how to use basic magic and levitatio-"
"TEACHER!! TEACHER!!" Austin raised his hand again.
"Ugh...Yes Austin?..."
"I'm an Earth-human. I can't do magic."
The foals all snickered and giggled to themselves. The teacher gritted her teeth.
"Aren't all humans 'Earth-humans'?"
"Yeah, well kind of. None of us can fly without a big machine, but I heard that we can do some forms of magic, but most of it is just illusions."
"Then that's not magic, it's just an illusion."
"Well, aren't a lot of magic spells only illusions?"
"Yes, but that's different because we have to focus the energy to our horn."
"So? They're just illusions, so it's not magic, case closed."
One colt suddenly squealed "Case open!" He grinned and all the foals laughed again.
The teacher looked ready to grind her teeth to powder.
"Okay then Austin. Show us your 'magic', then."
Austin smiled.
"With pleasure!" With that he stood up and...his head went straight through the ceiling. A few foals laughed, but the teacher looked worried.
"Oh my Celestia are you alright?!"
"Just dandy! By the way there's a bit up here..."
The foals all laughed again and the teacher sighed. Austin pulled his head out of the ceiling and shook the plaster out of his hair. "Got a deck of cards?"
The teacher gave him a deck of cards and Austin spread them out in his hands.
"Okay now pick one, any one!"
The teacher withdrew one card from the fan.
"Don't show me, but remember your card. Now put the card back in the deck." Austin cut the deck and the teacher put the card back.
"Now I will attempt to pick your card from the deck." Austin thumbed through the cards, passing card by card. The foals and teacher all watched in hushed anticipation. Austin then withdrew one card from the deck and showed it to the teacher.
"Was this your card?"
The card was the 10 of clubs.
"By Celestia it was!"
All the foals ooh'd and ahh'd as Austin just gave a small bow.
"Thank you, thank you..."
The teacher then regained her manner. "Ahem...Well...it's not real magic if you don't have to focus energy on something."
"Says who?"
"Says me! I'm the teacher!" She just sighed and muttered to herself. "Calm down, Shinestar, calm down...Can't lose your cool in front of the foals..."
Austin just smiled and passed a slip of paper to the colt who sat beside him. The little colt looked at it and giggled, then the teacher snapped at them, "AUSTIN!"
"Yes Ms. Sunshine?"
"It's Shinestar, and were you passing notes?"
"No I was passing gas." He then farted rather loudly and all the foals laughed again.
The teacher growled and snapped the chalk that was still in her telekinetic grip. Austin just grinned at her.
----------------------------
The day then passed without too much more delay, but things went downhill after lunchtime. The foals all came back and Austin crouched to get in the door, then sat on the remains of his desk.
"Welcome back, class." Shinestar said, finally calming down. "Today we will learn how to pick things up with our magic. Do you all remember your levitation spells?"
"Aw, sorry! I must've missed that lesson!" Austin sighed.
"But we just learned it today!"
"Yeah I wasn't paying attention. You started talking, but no words came out, it was just 'BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH'." The foals all laughed and the teacher rolled her eyes.
"Well it's not like you could cast it any way...You're only an....'earth human'."
"Well how do you know that I'm not a pegasus human?" Austin grinned and the foals all laughed again.
"Your lack of wings give it away...."
"Better than being a unicorn human. What would I do with a horn sticking out of my face?"
"And what's that supposed to mean?" The teacher was obviously rather insulted, but the foals wouldn't stop giggling.
"I mean a human with a horn on their face would look rather silly!" Austin grinned at her and the teacher sighed and rubbed her forehead.
"Now back to the lesson-"
"Teacher?"
"What is it Austin?!"
"Can I play ring-toss on your horn?"
"No. Now class, I would like you to bring out your-"
"Teacher?"
"Yes Austin?!"
"Would you be able to catch an apple on your horn if I threw it at you?"
"No! Class, bring out your toys and-"
"Teacher?"
"WHAT?!"
"Can I use the washroom?"
"Ugh...yes....yes you can, now just stop interrupting!"
Austin stood up (slowly and more carefully this time), and went to leave the classroom. But as soon as he was behind the teacher, he grabbed some toy rings and grinned at the class. The foals all giggled silently and Austin winked. He then started gently tossing rings at the teacher. She didn't notice at first. The rings bounced off her desk and one got stuck on her tail, but finally, with a gentle toss, the ring slowly arced as it flew through the air and slipped over the horn of Shinestar. The foals immediately cheered and burst into a flurry of giggles, while Shinestar just stared at the ring that was on her head, and she started to turn 4 shades of red. Austin giggled.
"That's MY cue to exit stage left!" Austin then slipped out the door and ran down the hall, while a very angry unicorn chased him weilding the dreaded 12-inch wooden ruler.
----------------------------
Austin was sitting in the principal's office of the school. The gruff-looking stallion sitting behind the desk stared at him and Austin stared back.
"So?" He finally said.
"So what?" Austin asked.
"How many rings did you toss before you landed one?" The stallion grinned and the two burst into laughter, pounding his desk. Austin just sighed and wiped a tear away from his eye.
"Ohhh, good times. Hey did you see the episode with RF Dashie?" The principal nodded and grinned.
"Clever work with the self-destruct switch!"
"Thank you! I really should've thought twice when I ran off and fell through the clouds though!"
Stats
Page generated in 0.015 seconds
Total duration
616 users online
904,304 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well played, good sir, well played.
My good sir, I must admit that I find this literary work to be entertaining and amusing. Continuing this work would be greatly appreciated.
funniest stories ever
These are one of the funniest stories I've ever seen! You did a real good job of making scary stories hilarious and overall making a well-written tale. I will explode with joy if you make more. Please do!
