The Rainbow Factory
Human VS
The Rainbow Factory
=================================================================================================
Arena: Cloudsdale Rainbow Factory
Challange: Avoid being turned into a rainbow by Rainbow Dash, the head of the factory.
Danger Level: High
Match beginning in 3....2....1....
=================================================================================================
Austin spawned in the Cloudsdale Rainbow Factory Holding Cell. The gate slowly opened up and a pegasus worker covered in a variety of colours and blood steps in.
"You, human. You're next."
"Sure thing my rainbow-covered amigo!"
"Don't call me that."
"Alrighty then."
The pegasus led him through the factory, a lot of banging and clanging emitting from machinary all over the place. A loud hiss is heard, followed by the bubbling and glooping of rainbow juice being extracted from the machine, the 6 spouts each spurting a different colour. Whatever that was, it looked hot. Steam rose from each stream of molten colour. Austin just kept smiling and looking around like a kid in a candy store. Finally, they led him to a large machine...The Pegasus device. The machine that slaughtered pegasi and ponies and extracted their colour. Austin just smiled at it like it was an old friend.
"Well well well! Look what the cat dragged in!" Rainbow Dash flew down and trotted over, with a huge and insane-looking smile on her face.
"Hey Dashie! Nice machine!" Austin beamed.
"Can it. You lost the race fair and square, so you have no reason to protest."
"But I'm not protesting. I don't have a picket sign or anything."
Rainbow Dash facehoofed and sighed.
"Just strap him into the machine already..."
"Awww, I don't get a final request?"
"This isn't death row!" Rainbow's grin turned into a frustrated frown. She just wanted to make the next batch of rainbows, but she was out of red, so she was going to take the red from Austin. But it was proving to be more pain that what it was worth.
"So? I think that it's only right."
"No other pegasi got a final request."
"No other pegasi asked for one. They were too busy whimpering."
She facehoofed again, then groaned.
"Fine fine! What do you want?"
"I want a cupcake from Sugarcube Corner."
"Fine. You there, guard! Get a cupcake from-"
"Waitwaitwait....I want a cupcake from Sugarcube Corner, delivered by Rainbow Dash."
"WHAT?!"
"You granted a final request, and that's my final request. Get going!"
"I'm not doing that!"
"Then you're uncool."
"You can't just say that because I won't get you a cupcake!"
"I can and did."
She just groaned, then flew out the window. Austin and the guards waited for Dashie's return, the whole while Austin was annoying the guards with his constant idle chitchat.
"So then I said, 'Rainbow, I wanna race so that I can at least try to earn my freedom' and she said 'okay' and then we raced, but I think she cheated because she used her wings, and I didn't have wings, so I thought it was cheating and-"
"Would you PLEASE JUST SHUT UP?"
"What? I can't tell you a story?"
"We know what happened! We were there!"
"Oh, well that renders the story useless...But what do you think? Do you think it was cheating?"
"She's used to racing pegasi..."
"Well I'm not a pegasus, and she knew that, so I think it was cheating."
"It's not cheating. You were just unlucky to have no wings."
Rainbow Dash then flew in with a small cupcake, pink frosting and chocolate base.
"Ewwww....Strawberry icing? And no sprinkles? Wow Dashie...that's just bad..."
"Well you didn't say you wanted a certain flavor!"
"I want purple icing that tastes like chocolate, and a chocolate base. And get some sprinkles....I don't eat cupcakes without sprinkles."
Rainbow Dash grumbled and set the first one down, then flew out to get another.
"Well ANYWAY..."
The guard groaned heavily.
-----------------------------------
"There, here's you stupid cupcake. Purple chocolate icing, sprinkles, with a chocolate base."
"Thank you...."
"Well aren't you gonna eat it?"
"I can't eat it with your guards holding my arms behind my back..."
"Well we can't just let you go!"
"Then I guess you'll have to feed it to me."
"I went out to get it. I'm not feeding it to you."
"Then get one of your guards to do it."
"No!"
"Then how can you fulfill my final request?!"
Rainbow gritted her teeth.
"FINE! Look, guards...let him go, but keep a close eye on him...."
"Thank you."
Austin walked over and picked up his cupcake, then looked at the guards and took a bite. He was very obedient, not even trying to run away, and rather, sat there, quietly, eating his cupcake. Rainbow Dash just waited impatiently and kept looking at the clock. One of the guards whistled and the other one just stared somewhere else.
Austin finally finished his cupcake, then looked at the other cupcake.
"Anyone want that other cupcake?"
"I thought you don't eat cupcakes without sprinkles."
"I don't, I just want to know if you do."
"No, I don't want one. Now get into the machine!!"
"Yeah yeah...okay..."
Austin walked over and strapped himself into the machine and smiled at them.
"Toodles you guys! Next time you see me I'll be a rainbow I guess!"
As the machine hauled Austin inside, Rainbow Dash just groaned.
"Man that guy is WEIRD...."
----------------------------------
Meanwhile, a long scalpel lowered it's blade towards Austin, and Austin stared at the shiny silver blade as it inched downward to aim for his chest. Austin just kept smiling, fiddling with something in one hand. Suddenly, his wrist strap undid itself and Austin undid his other hand. He grabbed the scalpel and broke it off the machine's arm, and sliced through the other straps and giggled. Escaping the pegasus device was easy when you have fingers.
Austin put the scalpel's handle in his mouth and hopped down into the lower parts of the machine. He looked at all the clanging and hissing parts of the machine, and tapped his chin in thought.
"Such a big machine...it'd be a shame if it just broke down because some human happened to jam a set of gears with a scalpel!"
Austin jammed a set of rather important gears with the scalpel handle, and grinned, then climbed back out of the machine.
"Like that."
Austin lept over to a catwalk and picked up a monkey wrench, then clamped it onto a valve and twisted, making it hiss and leak rainbow juice all over the floor.
"Oopsie!" Austin snickered and ran down the catwalk to mess with more machinery.
-------------------------------------
"What do you mean the pegasus device is broken?!"
"I mean it's broken, Ms. Dash...The machine won't work now, and the corpse of that human hasn't been found yet."
"That's because he hasn't been killed yet!! FIND HIM! And quickly! Before he destroys the entire factory!"
--------------------------------------
Meanwhile, a few pegasi were chasing Austin, that is until he 'accidentally' tripped them and made them fall into a vat of green. The emerged unharmed, but they were green from head to hoof. Austin laughed and continued running, then grabbed a sledgehammer that he found lying around. He then proceeded to break any machinery that happened to be in his general view. The machinery hissed and shook, rattled and rumbled...It looked ready to explode. Austin just skipped along, hitting things with his hammer. Finally, he took notice of two guards flying at him with rather dangerous looking knives.
"Ooooh! I'm in trouble!" Austin giggled and dropped the hammer, then ran down the catwalk to play a game with the guards. He dove between pipes and through windows and doors, the whole while the guards keeping up with him, until Austin picked up a larger knife and ran to on of the hoses connected to a giant metal vat of purple ooze.
"What's your favorite colour?" Austin grinned as the guards stopped in their tracks and turned to fly away. "Mine's purple!" Austin then sliced through the hose and aimed it at the guards, firing a tidal wave of purple fluid everywhere, dying everything a shade of lavender. Austin giggled and ran to mess with more machines.
-------------------------------------
"We've just lost a vat of purple, Ms. Dash. Blue levels are going down as well."
"Do I have to do everything myself?!" Rainbow then flew out into the main area to take a bird's eye view of the factory. She then heard another vat explode.
"The human has blown up the vat of orange, Ms. Dash."
"I CAN SEE THAT!!"
-----------------------------------
Austin grabbed a valve and twisted it, spraying green everywhere. Austin seemed to be on a rampage that would not cease until either the factory was nothing more than twisted metal, or he was eliminated. Rainbow Dash had chosen the latter, Austin had other plans in mind. He knew that RD was coming to kill him. So he had messed up her factory until the point that was near impossible to repair. The only thing he needed to do now was what RD had captured him for. Destroy the vat of red.
Austin grabbed the bright red valve handle and grinned, then went to turn it.
"STOP right there..."
Austin turned and saw the very angry pegasus staring right back, coated in green, blue and yellow, her hooves dyed purple.
"Hey look! It's Rainbow Rainbow Dash!" Austin laughed and slapped his leg.
"Shut it! You messed up my factory, wasted more than a year's worth of rainbow juice, and destroyed half of my machines!"
"Awwww, well to be honest you had it coming."
"I'm here to take care of you."
"I'm here to take care of you!"
"Don't copy me!"
"Don't copy me!~"
"STOP SAYING WHAT I'M SAYING!!"
"STOP SAYING WHAT I'M SAYING!" Austin grinned at her.
Rainbow flew into a mixture of rage and insanity, then flew at Austin with a very large knife. Austin just side-stepped and Dashie missed, and punctured the hose connecting the red to the rest of the factory.
"Oooh. That's gotta hurt...." Austin said, wincing.
Rainbow Dash looked in shock and horror as the red fluid first just spritzed, then sprayed. She desperately tried to cover it with her hooves, but it was far too late for that. Austin just smiled then wandered over to the very noticable and very conveniently placed emergency self-destruct button for the Pegasus device.
"DON'T TOUCH THAT!!"
"Touch what? This big red button? This one right here?"
"I beg of you! DO NOT TOUCH THAT BUTTON!!"
"Why?" Austin read the warning label above it. "Caw-tee-on! Sounds fancy!"
"You moron! That says CAUTION!!"
"Ohhhhhhh! In that case..." Austin quickly pressed the button and grinned at the mare who just stared at him like he was the one who was insane.
"See you later Rainbow CRASH!!" Austin ran through the exit door and promptly fell through the clouds.
Rainbow's ears just dropped and she moaned.
Regardless whether or not he died after that fall, she knew that the Pegasus device, and possibly everything else, was gonna blow.
In ten seconds flat.
"Oh cruel irony..." She muttered.
Stats
Page generated in 0.026 seconds
Total duration
673 users online
1,013,208 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You have taken something amazingly dark and make it hilarious.
This was actually pretty funny. Great story, looking forward to the next chapter!
I no longer have a face as I laughed it off.
Well done, and do proceed to great hilarity.
DAMNIT. Took my idea...
Oh well wasn't going to write about it anyway
*is laughing too hysterically to say anything*
My Sister who is reading over my shoulder and typing for me: CARRY ON!
Hahahahahaha! My wrong theory is that this guy is related to Deadpool!
i was in tears by the end, good work!
Humans be jacking your shit up!
Awesome. I laugh so hard. Austin is the best!
watch out we got a badass here
just awesome
Man this was so damn exciting to read! I wish to know whether Austin lived or not, but at least he went out with a bang!
That is why I don't go to other dimensions anymore
1461501 that theory...makes sense. I never thought of that! Congratulations!
HUMANITY FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!
He wanted Rainbow Dash to get the cupcake? What was he planning to trick Rainbow Dash into getting killed by Pinkie Pie like in cupcakes!
8415464
The point was to fuck with them. The description tells us that Austin would fuck with everyone because his sense of humor is greater than his survival instincts. That’s what I’ve gathered, anyway.
8415464
10415554
Effectively, yes!