A Few Fruit Short of a Salad

by BludgeonWarrior

Candymare Can-Can

The time had finally come; the moment Fruit felt she had spent eons waiting for.... It had been too long...

She slowly lifted her hoof and wiped the sweat off her brow before carefully taking her first step into the blinding light of the outside. The sound of her hoof meeting the organic ground echoed in the ear of everypony outside. They drew their gaze towards the triumphant mare, and the stared at her hoof. The sound of that one hoofstep was a sound that would carry through the universe for all of time....

Squish.

Fruit giggled and took a few more steps outside.

Squish. Squish.

Fruit couldn't contain herself any longer, she exploded with laughter. The other ponies continued to eye the giggling mare and the strange objects she wore on her hooves. They looked like shoes of some sort, but the also looked like, bananas? Yes, bananas. Banana shoes. Fruit was wearing banana shoes. Her hooves squished and squashed as Fruit trotted by the townsponies, her smile ignorant of their mocking laughter.

"Why is she wearing those?"

"Isn't that Fruit Cake?"

"What's she doing out here?"

"Now what is that mare doing...?"

Fruit didn't hear the townsponies, but even if she did, she wouldn't care, she was having to much fun. Fruit was finally outside, and by Celestia, she's going to enjoy it.

Fruit, kept squishin' her way through Ponyville, drawing stares from everypony she passed. They muttered to each other and mocked Fruit.

"Squish, squish, squish!" Fruit giggled to the sound of her steps.

"Hi, Fruit!" It was the mailmare who had crashed through the roof a few days ago.

"Oh! Hiya....uh...."

"Derpy Hooves."

"Yeah, I was close..."

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted to say Ditzy Doo, hehe..."

The mailmare chuckled, "Well, you're actually right. My real name is Ditzy Doo, 'Derpy Hooves' is .... well.... kind of my 'in town' name..."

"I've got other names too," Fruit smiled, "Plenty of 'em, though most of them I probably shouldn't say.."

"What are those?" Ditzy pointed to the strange yellow shoes Fruit wore.

"Hehe, they're banana shoes! Squish, squish, squish!" Fruit giggled as she marched around the cross-eyed mailmare.

"But won't the bananas rot?" Ditzy asked.

"Yeah, but we had a surplus," Fruit smiled, "Well, catch'ya later Ditzy!" Fruit waved as she trotted off, squishing down the street. She passed by several other ponies, all of them baffled by her... unique hoofwear.

"Hiya, Cheerilee!" Fruit waved as she passed by the school teacher.

Cheerilee said nothing as the smiling mare squished by, only looking down at the origin of the squishing noise.

"A bit of advice," Fruit yelled back to Cheerilee, "You should proof-read your writing!" With that, Fruit giggled away leaving Cheerilee unbelievably puzzled and concerned.

Fruit finally arrived at the destination of her wondrous voyage. She stood in awe, gazing at the majesty of the divine chapel. The sun beamed down heavenly rays upon the grand monument, light bouncing off of the multi-colored rooftop.

"I have only heard legends of such alters..." Fruit mumbled, "But there it is..., the most wondrous place in all of the wide, world of Equestria and beyond..."

Ding-Ding! Some little colts walked out of the with bags of sugary treats.

"CANDY STORE!!" Fruit squeed and she ran into the shop as fast as she could, accidentally tripping on the mat, landing face-first on the floor.

"I should just walk into places...." Fruit picked herself up onto her hooves, and met the gaze of the owner of the shop.

"Can I help you...?" The mare who ran the candy shop asked as she eyed Fruit.

Fruit couldn't hear, she was blind from the magnificence of all the candy. She began to drool a little.

"Hey!"

"Uh, what?" Fruit snapped out of her sugar paradise.

"Are you going to buy something or drool on my floor?" The owner griped.

"Hehe..., sorry..." Fruit walked over to the counter, "I'm Fruit Cake! The Cakes here in Ponyville are my Aunt and Uncle!"

The store owner had seen Fruit at the party Pinkie threw and recognized her from there. She also remembered Fruit puking on some poor pony.

"What's your name?" Fruit asked.

"Why do you want to know? Aren't you just here for some candy?" The pink and blue-maned pony asked.

"Yeah..," Fruit smiled, " But I like meeting new ponies!"

The owner blushed a little before answering, "I'm Bon-Bon..."

"Nice to meet you!" Fruit held out her banana cover hoof, to the confusion of Bon-Bon.

"Um..., you do know you're wearing a... banana.. on your hoof...?"

"Yeah..." Fruit nodded.

Bon-Bon was bamboozled, but as to not be rude, she shook Fruit's hoof. It felt damp and dirty, and it made Bon-Bon's skin crawl up her arm and down her spine, but she kept smiling despite this.

"Nice to meet ya, Bon-Bon!" Fruit smiled away as she kept shaking with the owner.

"Likewise...." Bon-Bon winced her hoof starting to feel numb.

Fruit giggled and let release Bon-Bon's hoof from her banana grip.

"You've got an awesome job! Being surrounded by all this..... mmm.... candy...." Fruit began to drool again.

"Well, it's fun, I guess..." Bon-Bon said as she stared at Fruit who was spinning around the room, gazing at all the glorious delicacies. "Ummm... Ms.?"

"Ahhhh.... yeah..?" Fruit answered her and looked to where she was pointing on the floor, "Oops, sorry.. hehe..."

"Are you going to buy something?" Bon-Bon began to grow irritated with the banana shoed-mare drooling on her floor.

"Uhhh..... what do you all have?"

"Didn't you just spend the last some seconds looking, and drooling, at everything?"

"Yeah, but I was kinda distracted by their magnificence..." Fruit squeed.

Bon-Bon couldn't hurt her, that's against the law, but by Celestia she wanted to! "She's almost as bad as Lyra..." She thought to herself as she sighed into the counter.

"Ummm...." Fruit stood there waiting for Bon-Bon to lift her head off the counter, resisting the near uncontrollable urge to poke her.

"Yes...?" Bon-Bon muffled.

"What candy do you have?"

The stressed owner slowly lifted her head off the counter and stared at Fruit's smile with contempt. Fruit remained utterly oblivious to it though and kept smiling.

Bon-Bon sighed, "We have all kinds... take your pick..." She then thudded her face back on the counter hoping Fruit will just go away like a bad hangover, not that she's ever had one...

"Hmm..." Fruit walked around the shop, and looked at all the jars of candy, jars filled with gumballs, taffies, gums, and even, dare she even think it, licorice!

"Hmm.... What do you recommend, Bon-Bon?"

Bon-Bon groaned and raised her head again and glared at Fruit, "Why would you want my opinion?"

"Well, you are the owner of a candy shop, isn't that the job of a candymare?"

That was it. She couldn't stand it any longer. Bon-Bon slowly came over the counter and walked around the store picking up several jars of candy. She then put them on the counter and pulled out a baggie from the backroom. She then began to empty the jars into the baggie until it seemed about to burst. She picked it up, handed it to Fruit, and pushed her to the door.

"On the house. Come again." The 'Candymare' said in the most deadpan tone as she shove the banana shoe wearing mare out the door.

"Um...., thanks..." Fruit went on her way, squishing in her banana shoes carrying the nearly overflowing baggie.

Bon-Bon shut the door and slowing trotted to the counter and again, planted her face into the smooth, polished wood.

Her groan was muffled, "Way worse than Lyra..."

Author's Note:

FINALLY!!

Comments

[FlutterFan93]

FREE CANDY!

[Sliverfish]

What else do you have planned for Fruit Cake? Let me guess, utter destruction of Ponyville?

[Alpha Scorpii]

Banana shoes? What?

[BludgeonWarrior]

2135785
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