When I returned from Soarin's house that evening, I sat for a moment in my living room with Angel to think about everything we'd talked about in the time I was there. From the raw emotion of it all I couldn't help but cry a bit. I was already weepy enough when my thoughts moved to Soarin. He was such a genuine colt and so easy to relax around. Soarin knew so much though, I was lucky to learn from him what I did. Not only that, but I never felt stupid when I would ask him a question. All my questions were good questions, to Soarin.
But where was I to go next? Should I travel to Canterlot to visit that doctor he'd mentioned? Could I simply go on a small shopping spree with Rarity? Maybe the other girls might want to go too...
I made my way back into my library and revisited the books which taught me about the idea of transponism. The book in question, “The Change”, which first coined the term for me was a book I’d found at a small book sale in Ponyville a couple years back. I’d bought it not realizing how relevant to my future it would truly be.
I opened the dusty book and flipped to the chapter that discussed the main character’s transmare friend. On the outside the pony was different from me because she was born a stallion and felt like a mare. While I was the other way around, the feelings that she’d felt that were expressed in the story were definitely the same. She was still a side character, so the conversation about her transponism wasn’t too discussed, but it was enough for me to get the information I needed while just starting out. Combined with the knowledge that Soarin offered me, I now knew so much more than I ever thought I would.
I flipped to chapter five: “Brass Bell’s Dilemma” and started rereading. In this chapter, the main character first learns about her friend’s feelings of wanting to be a mare. Her reaction was similar, if not identical, to Apple Jack’s reaction.
Brass Bell had called Starlight over the next evening and the topic of discussion was one that both caught Starlight in confusion and frustration. Admittedly, it was a nice break from having to think about her situation with Stone, but nonetheless it was still a heated night.
Starlight arrived five minutes early to Brass’ house. She rang his doorbell and he answered right away. Immediately, Starlight noticed something wrong with Brass’ demeanor. He appeared to be shaky and nervous and that only made Starlight more nervous about what he wanted to talk about with her. Was he going to profess feelings for her? He couldn’t: especially not right now with the issues she was having with Stone. She also didn’t want to ruin the really great friendship they had, for she valued it more than any other that she had.
Starlight gulped nervously and faked a smile, then walked into Brass’ house. The two sat down and Brass offered her some tea.
“No thanks.” Starlight replied, “How about just some water?”
When Brass returned he sat and faced Starlight, who nervously sipped her water. Brass sighed. “Why do you seem so nervous?” he asked.
Starlight shook her head, taking another sip of water. “Why do you seem so nervous?” she retorted.
Brass laughed to himself and nodded at her comment, “Well,” he started, “I figured something out about myself and I need your support.” he stated simply. It didn’t sound to Starlight like he had feelings for her, so she nodded eagerly, now realizing that he was coming to his best friend and needed some help.
“Yeah.” she muttered, “What do you need?”
Brass sighed to himself and closed his eyes. Then, “I’m a transpony.” he blurted out.
Starlight choked on her water. “What?” Brass seemed to sigh at Starlight’s disheartening comment.
“A transpony.” He stated apprehensively. “I feel like a mare. Like I should have been born as a mare.”
Starlight just stared at him. “Why?”
Brass stiffened up even more, assuming a defensive position. “I was just born that way, okay? Anyway I need your support and if I can’t get it then you should probably just leave.”
Starlight looked around her best friend’s house looking carefully at his decoration. She completely didn’t understand what he was saying to her and she’d certainly never heard of a “transpony” before.
Starlight looked back at Brass. “Are you sure you don’t just---you know---like stallions?” Brass gave a large huff of breath out his nose, producing an audible whinny of anger.
“Starlight, I think I know very well how I feel. This is who I am, alright?”
Starlight wanted to object again, but she stopped herself and instead nodded, “So what are your plans? Are you going to start wearing dresses and stuff?” she couldn't help the incredulousness in her voice.
“Well,” Brass started, “You are a unicorn, so I was thinking you could help with tha---”
“---No. I mean. I’m sorry. I can’t. I don’t…” she sighed, “I don’t understand.” Starlight got up and began to leave. “Thank you for the water, but I can’t wrap my head around this right now, Brass. Not now. Not with the problems I’m having with Stone. I need to figure out one thing at a time. I’m here for you, I am. I’m just... I’m sorry.”
I couldn't help but laugh to myself. Not because the situation at hand was funny, but because I could relate so much to it now. It was intense and brought up a lot of feelings from the other day. While I wiped away a tear, I laughed more. Even two best friends could be so apprehensive toward one another due to such a topic. I now felt even better about my close friend’s reactions and was sure that they would become even more used to the idea.
By the end of the story, Brass and Starlight made it through their brief yet intense fight. Starlight even started to call Brass “Bell”. It was a happy ending where there needed to be one.
After reading the chapter, I walked into the kitchen half-way sulking about not knowing what to do next, but still feeling better about the situation when I saw the letter I’d gotten from Post Haste this morning, unopened. I trotted over and read the address line. “Current Resident” it said. I sighed assuming it was mere junk mail as I ripped it open. Starring at me was a pamphlet: an ad for a boutique. Upon closer examination I realized it was an ad for Rarity’s clothing store. That’s when I remembered Rarity’s comment earlier that day.
“You know, you're lucky your best friend is a seamstress. You will be the best looking colt in all of Ponyville.”
I smiled at her comment now, wondering if I could really take her up on her offer. Excitedly, I quickly grabbed my coat and dashed out the door to face the sunset.
“I hope she’s still at her shop!” I thought to myself as I closed my front door.
4149819 Thank you! I'm going to try to start getting regular submissions up again. This time was very hard because I knew point A and C, but not B.
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-SQUEE!- (And that is probably the only time I myself will squee at a story) I'M SO HAPPY! YOU UPDATED!
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Ahem, sorry, I'm just really excited that this FINALLY got an update. I really like this story and it is very well written AFAIK. I was hooked pretty much from the getgo, and now seeing this get its second wind, I am ecstatic to say the least. Say, if you need a proofreader/editor, I don't have a ton on my plate at the moment. Drop me a line if you would like me to take a looksie.
4149920 Hey I am all up for people being eager towards my story Never be sorry!
4149933 Unfortunately, no. I don't watch Community.
Thank you. I've been having a really shitty day, and this brightened my mood a little.
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Touche. Touche, good sir/ma'am. I definitely overlooked that.
You switch to third pony for a paragraph after the book. Otherwise, looks good.
4150077 I'm so glad!
4150954 *hard gasp* You're right. Fixed it! Thanks for pointing that out
Well than, i say let the story live and let the fear die. Im apeasd you live.
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Hopes there we'll be more!
*close book after the empty space*
Was an ok read
*Makes bubbles*
Now to the abyss
Nice quints there. Story #55555, not bad timing on your part.
This was a great read. It's nice hearing an FTM story from someone who is actually FTM - the emotions are all very realistic. Good luck on the next chapter - I'm really looking forward to it.
Godammit, I wish this had more chapters.
Anyway, this is a very good story, and I hope you continue.
I love this! I myself am FtM and when I saw this I just couldn't wait to read it. This story is very well written! I believe it is, especially on how describing the whole process of being transgender really is, well at least the figuring out process. It is not something you know over night and I love how Fluttershy is in this story. Her/his character really fits the transgender role. I can't wait to see how farther we will see Fluttershy devolope into a stalloon later on in this story. And the fac that you made Soarin a transpony is what makes this story much more better! The fact of having him help out Fluttershy really is great idea. It is new, not used or copied and I appluad you on that. Also love this this story is slowly progressing, I can't wait to read more. Such a shame that you haven't update for almost a year now, this truly is a amazing peice that deserves to get more views and have it finished. I really hope to see more, this makes me really happy to read jut knowing somebody can write a wel decent transgendered pony story. Not only that these are rare andhardly are most of them are this good, and you sir have earned a like, a favorite and a follow for that! Thak you for creating this story, best of luck on this story mate.
4362333 I am working on the next chapter right now
4816984 I am a strong supporter of minorities seeing themselves in characters and creating head cannons from it. Writing this is as natural as making lunch for myself.
4894461 It will, if not slowly. :( I am a slow writer on this website. It's my first time publishing any writing of mine so I'm not used to the periodical update thing. It's also kind of a trap for me because I have an anxiety disorder so I get really nervous about updating and then just never do it until much later
5339517 Thank you so much! I honestly didn't expect anyone to like it very much. The reason I update so slow is I have an anxiety disorder so I will go about living my life and soon it's been a month since an update and then I feel bad about being slow and never write the next chapter >_< But I'm writing right now! I'm glad you enjoy my story. I honestly didn't realize at the time that this is something that's never been done and I'm very excited about that. It's definitely enough to keep me going. I have lots of ideas for plot.
5561752 HOLY SHIT!!!! YESSSS!!!!!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!! 8 WEEKS SO FUCKING WORTH IT! Haha and no problems, totally understand the anxiety disorder. Take all time needed to do future chapters. Just glad to know this won't be left unfinished. Hell, if it takes you a damn year just to update one chapter totally will be worth the wait. God damn this is amazing!