Following Fluttershy in first person though all the confusing and scary feelings of first coming out as transgender, all of the mane six react to her coming out in different ways.
Following Fluttershy in first person though all the confusing and scary feelings of first coming out as transgender, all of her friends react to her coming out in different ways. Frankly, she doesn't know which reaction is the worst to deal with and she knows it will take a miracle for her friends to understand her. Who will stay by her side, and who will refuse Fluttershy's new identity?
This is the story of Fluttershy as a transgender colt (in human terms, female to male). For those that don't know, transgender is used to describe someone who doesn't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth
Disclaimer: None of the pictures in the chapters are mine. They are simple vector images put together :)
I wake up every day and as I get ready for everything I plan on doing, I can't help but feel this growing hurt in the deepest pit of my heart. I don't know what it's from, but I do believe it has been the cause for all my anxiousness these past years while I've lived in Ponyville alone. For some reason, what I do in my everyday life just seems wrong. I can't quite put a hoof on it, but it's there and something is very, very wrong. I spend hours in the night thinking about what exactly it is that could be missing.
One particular morning after a rather sleepless night, I laid in bed and thought some more about an answer for my predicament. My groggy thoughts were interrupted though by Angel hopping up onto my bed with his usual morning impatience.
"Oh...Good morning, Angel!" I said, happy to see my furry friend, despite his pushy behavior. I was used to it by now and this routine felt as normal as anything else in my life. "How did my little bunny-wunny sleep this morning? I'll get your carrots right away." Angel then hopped off of my bed and bounced away and out of the room. I sleepily got up and went to greet all my animal friends.
Admittedly, a small idea of the reason for feeling this void has been in my head for months now, but the idea seems silly and illogical to say the very least. I also can't deny that the idea feels right, though. I walked through my house gathering all the different types of food I need for those staying in my house with me. Suddenly, a sharp bell ringing throughout my house startled me and caused me to drop all the food I had ready for the animals. I hadn't been expecting any visitors that morning, so I started galloping across my house to see who it could possibly be. I opened my door as soon as I reached it and was looking at our town mail carrier, Post Haste. Post had a small envelope in his mouth.
"Oh, h-hi Post. Good morning." I whispered, happy to see him. That was when an idea hit me. I'd been wondering for a while what it would be like to be a colt, and what better pony to ask than a colt?
"Morning Miss Fluttershy! Beautiful day isn't it?" he asked as I took the letter from his mouth.
"Yes, very!" I muffled as I set the letter down on a small table next to the door. "Uhm, Post, who else do you have letters to deliver to this morning?" Post Haste paused for a second, but then told me that no one else was on his list, "W-well...I was wondering, i-if you don't mind, if you and I could talk for a little bit...if you don't have other plans that is. It's okay if you do..."
Post Haste smiled, "Miss Fluttershy, I'd love to talk with you. What about?" I looked down timidly, not wanting to talk about it unless I was in my house. I bit my bottom lip and shrugged. Post Haste nodded, "Well alright. Want to go back inside so we can talk?"
I looked up at him, "Oh yes!" I cheered and ran inside. As I arrived in my kitchen, I realized my mistake, I galloped back to the doorway and faced Post. "Uhm, the kitchen is this way. Please close the door and help yourself in." I then turned back around and continued in making my way towards preparing some mint tea for us both. Once the tea was finally ready and we were both settled in at the kitchen table, I was finally ready to start asking Post questions. I was very nervous, afraid he would think I was a freak.
"So, what brings me here today, Miss Fluttershy?" he asked, sipping his tea and smiling. I sipped from my own cup, stalling and trying to find the right way to put this.
"W-well, what is it like to...be a c-colt....?" I asked, terrified as the words came out of my mouth. Post looked at me quizzically, but didn't hesitate to answer,
"You mean as opposed to a mare? Well, I like being a colt just fine! You're strong, tall, and nopony has any strong opinions over what you should wear or do or dress or act. Well, except the Mayor. Lots of mare fashion, less so in stallion fashion. Yeah, uh, being a colt is fun I suppose. I don't really know how else to describe it, I don't think I've had to before." Just that small description was enough to make my heart feel fuzzy and I knew my idea was on the right track.
I smiled and nodded, "Please go on." I cooed.
"Well, you don't have a long stringy mane like most mares do, which makes for us having easy and less grooming. I work at keeping everypony happy with everypony else. I tend to tease mares, but it's all in good fun and nopony ever seems too upset about it." I kept my eyes closed as I started to envision all the things Post Haste was talking about, but rather doing them myself. It felt very wrong at first, but by the end of his description, I was smiling to myself. "Why do you ask, Miss Fluttershy?" He laughed and then sipping his tea asked playfully, "Don't like being a mare anymore?"
I shot my eyes open registering what was actually going on. He probably thought I was a freak. Of course he did, nopony that's normal would ever want to be a colt instead of a mare. Hearing his question out loud made me squeal out of fear of what he might say or do next.
I jumped away from the table grabbing my tea and brought it to the sink, "I-I'm sorry Post, it's getting late and I still haven't fed Angel yet and I still have so much to do and I'm sorry but I must ask you to leave." I spit out. Post Haste brought his tea to the sink and smiled,
"Well thank you for the tea, Miss Fluttershy. And thank you for the chat. Just remember, I'm here for you if you need anything. I won't judge you or anything. Nopony should be judged for how they feel inside. Have a good day." I couldn't even look the colt in the eye. Tears came to me and I quickly shut my eyes, still scared regardless of what he'd just said.
"Thank you, Post. H-have a good day." Post Haste smiled and saw himself out. As soon as I heard the door close I collapsed on the ground sobbing. I knew something had been wrong with my life and now I know what it is but I don't know how to face this. I searched my brain for the term that was associated with a mare who felt like they wanted to be a colt and at first nothing came to mind. Then it hit me, "I-I'm not a t-trans...pony...I-I...can't....be...." I muttered in between sobs. All of this was hitting me so hard. The more I thought about being a colt, the more it felt right to me. It didn't make sense though because I'd only ever heard of one transpony, and I don't even know if that was just an old mare's tale or not.
I got up and found myself standing in front of my mirror in the hallway. I placed my mane so that it was mostly hidden except for what was on the top of my head, trying to picture myself as a colt. After a minute of starring I found that Angel had joined me. "Well Angel, what do you think?" Angel just looked at me. I faced away from him and looked back at myself. It felt wrong, but it also felt right, and looked right. So what did this mean?
Before I could have another thought, I felt my door slam open and high pitched cries coming from a hysterical mare filled my house.
"Fluttershy!" she cried, "Fluttershyyy! Get a pot of mint tea ready would you, darling?! Something terribly dreadful has happened!" Rarity whined.
Rarity was waiting for me in my living room when I finally got her tea ready for her just the way she liked it. I set it on the table in front of her and let her cry until she was ready to talk.
“Fluttershy…” She called out, seemingly at the end of her tantrum. “It’s awful.”
“What is it Rarity?” I asked, thankful to get my mind off of my own internal dilemma for a while.
“Another Royal Guard got married, Fluttershy!” Rarity sobbed in dismay. Anypony else would have probably been looking at her blankly, wondering what had gotten into her, but I knew better than anypony that Rarity had her heart set on becoming a big somepony in any way possible. Marrying one of the Royal Guards was a quick way to that somepony status. One of the Royal Guards getting married meant her chances of her heart's true dream just got a little slimmer. Of my five best friends, Rarity was my best-best friend and so it hurt to see her so upset.
“Rarity, I am so, so sorry.” I whispered knowing nothing I would say could really help. She nodded as she took big gulps of tea, crying in between them. “Keep drinking Rarity, you can’t cry while you’re drinking.” Rarity looked up at me suddenly.
“Y-you can’t…?” I smiled,
“Not at all. Try it.” Rarity looked at me helplessly. As she started crying again, she took a drink of the tea. The tears subsided with her drinking as it had done before, she just wasn’t aware of it then. After a long drink she gasped,
“Fluttershy, you are an absolute gem. I really owe you this time. And this tea is divine.” I smiled, happy I could help my friend.
“Thank you Rarity. And don’t worry, you’ll find a high class pony to marry you someday.” Rarity smiled and sighed.
“Oh darling, I hope so.” She said, drawing out her words, making her eyes wide, “You have no idea what this town is doing to my…internal complexion.” I wasn’t quite sure what she was on about, but I still was willing to listen regardless. Rarity always was there for me when I needed her and I always made sure to return the favor. I sat with her in silence before she continued to speak, “You really are the Element of Kindness, aren’t you?” At this comment I blushed and giggled.
“Thank you Rarity.”
“Oh no Fluttershy, thank you. I’m feeling better already. It’s so nice to have a dear friend help me through these episodes…” She trailed off, taking more sips of tea. In the silence, I was left with my thoughts, which were going back to me being a transpony.
Then an idea came into my head. What if I talked to Rarity about it? She surely wouldn’t judge me and she would accept me completely. I’m sure that she would be able to give me an honest opinion for the most part. I looked over at Rarity and smiled, and she smiled back at me over her tea. She then set it down and I got up to pour her more. Once we were settled in again, she smiled at me.
“So what have you been up to today darling?” Rarity asked me. Oh no. I know I wanted to ask her, but thinking about talking about it and actually talking about it are two very different things.
“Uhm…nothing.” I muttered.
“Nothing…?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow at me.
“W-well, I talked to Post Haste today...” I was hoping she would leave it at that.
“Oh? He’s a nice stallion, I like him.” I slowly nodded trying to think of something to say. “What did you talk about?” She asked sipping her tea. I froze. Oh no…
“T-talk…about…?” I asked slowly and quietly.
“Yes dear.” She said nodding, “You said you talked to him.” I shrugged,
“Well…H-he gave me a letter…and then I made him some mint tea…and then he told me what it’s l-like to be a c-colt…” In a desperate attempt to not have her ask about the subject of conversation again, I added hastily, “Oh, and Angel asked for some carrots!”
“Mh….hmm.” She groaned. “What it’s like to be a colt? Why was he talking about that?” Rarity asked, catching on to my failure at trying to change the obvious subject.
This was it. There was no way I could get around this question without a lie and I couldn’t lie to my very best friend no matter how bad the truth is, even a truth of something like this. The truth was that I asked him and that was that. There was no elusive way to phrase it or anything, there was just the obvious that would lead into me telling her what I think I might be.
“I-I…I…asked him.” I whispered. I wasn’t even sure if she heard me until she said anything. She looked at me seriously and said,
“Fluttershy? Why would you ask about what it’s like to be a colt? Wouldn’t one think it’s rather obvious what it’s like to be a colt?” I nodded slowly.
“I wanted more detail…” Rarity seemed to be catching on, but there was no way I could say it out loud. She’d have to force it out of me. I couldn’t say it alone.
“Why would you want more detail of being a colt, dear?” She coaxed slowly, sipping more tea, now facing me. This was it.
“I-I think I…uhm…I….w-want…uhm…to…” I tripped over my own words. There was no way I could say it. She would hate me forever. She would think I was a freak.
“Fluttershy, you’re my best friend. You can tell me anything.” She said setting her tea down and putting a hoof on my shoulder.
“Can you keep it a secret for now?” I asked slowly. I trusted Rarity with lots of my secrets. This one wouldn’t be an exception. She had to know, she pretty much already knows anyway. Or she might have no idea, that’s always an option. I don’t know how she couldn’t know by now though, it’s so obvious. But if it’s so obvious why can’t I bring myself to say it? This is my best friend after all and I know she won’t judge me.
“I promise.” She whispered. I looked over at the white mare and she was smiling like a princess. I knew she was being genuine. Okay, so maybe other times I told her secrets she would tell the other mares, but this time she knew it was really a big deal to me and I was sure that this time I was safe.
“I-I….” I almost got the words out, but a shock of fear hit me and I squealed and shut my eyes as I felt tears starting to form. Knowing that Rarity hates to see me cry, I had to be strong just this once. Before I tried again, Rarity took my face in her hooves and spoke, looking directly into my eyes the entire time. It was the most honest I’d ever seen her.
“Fluttershy, I know you’re struggling, but listen dear. I am here for you no matter what you’re about to say. I love and accept you already and nothing will ever change that. We are best friends and no one will ever replace you in my life. In a short while we’ve been through a lot and I can’t wait to see all the adventures we will have in the future. You’ve taught me so much and made me become a better pony. This one thing you’re about to tell me cannot and will not change any of that. Even if Princess Celestia herself came through your doors and told me to abandon you, I never would. Even if Discord threatened to take away everything else I treasure, I would be willing to face losing it all if it meant keeping you. No one has ever shown me pure kindness before like you have. I know I haven’t done much for you in the past, but right now I am owning up to those mistakes and making up for everything in the past. You can tell me anything right now, Fluttershy. No matter what it is, it is okay. I promise.” Everything Rarity was saying was so overwhelming and amazing and loving for me that I couldn’t help but blurt out what I was feeling all along in one stringed together word,
“Iwanttobeacolt” Then, as I let the words out, all my innermost feelings, thoughts, and desires all came flooding out of me at rapid speed. The entire time, Rarity stayed silent as I told her everything, including the hopes and fears that were stored down deep in the pits of my heart.
As I told Rarity about myself, I couldn't even look at her, and had my eyes closed. Everything I told Rarity was so true that just saying it made me cry even harder because it was the first time I'd said it out loud. I was spilling thoughts at her so fast I don't even know if she could keep up with me. I only stopped twice for breath. What I said to her was that I knew there was something wrong in my life. I didn't know what it was and I didn't want to talk to anyone about it because I never wanted too much attention on me when our friends had real, tangible problems. Because I was out all day, my only other option was to think about it in the night, the only time of day I was really alone enough to think about everything in my life. During these nights I analyzed every single aspect of how I lived up until that very point, looking for a hole. I truly enjoyed taking care of the animals, and all my friends were great. I didn't feel like I needed to be with a stallion (or mare), and I knew that not being near my family wasn't the problem.
No, this problem was more internal. It was more so focused how I felt about myself as a pony. This realization itself took weeks to find. Each night I thought about a different part of my life without any luck. My internal feelings towards myself was the last part of me I had to explore and once I did I found out that I was on the right track. Then it was up to me to wonder what it was about me that I didn't like.
Was it my hair? I could always get a new hair-do, I told her.
It took several more weeks, after carefully thinking about my style and look, to figure out that my problem wasn't something as trivial as that. I somehow seemed to be on the right track though. Some nights, I read books about stories of other ponies discovering themselves and one night in particular I was reading a book (aptly titled "The Change") about a pony that realized who she was after months of being with the wrong stallion, and that he was leading her life in the wrong (and a rather opposite) direction. I figured that the main plot didn't apply to me and wasn't my problem since I wasn't with a stallion, so there wasn't one to turn my life away from where it was supposed to go. Regardless, I kept reading this book and it soon spit out my answer. The main character had a best friend whom of which discovered himself while the protagonist was doing the same. It turns out, the stallion identified as a mare and that he was a transpony.
This idea seemed silly to me at first and I dismissed it as nothing, but consistently throughout the day I found my thoughts wondering back to this pony. Soon, I became somewhat obsessed with the idea of what my life would be like if I were a colt. I imagined all the things I would do differently and the ponies I would possibly be closer to or distant from simply because of what kind of pony I was born as. At nights, I soon started dreaming of being a big, strong stallion and at first I would wake up scared, startled from the dreams. After weeks of them though, they felt normal. The idea of being a colt then on sounded really nice to me. At first I figured it was a phase, but this was several months ago, and by now there was no denying the truth that I was a transpony.
This final conclusion was probably the scariest one I could come to because it meant in order for me to be truly happy I would have to almost completely change who I am...or at least how I look and how people address me. I had no idea how my friends would react to this change and my inevitable request to be called a different name. As this became the theme of my thoughts, I became surer each day that my friends would reject me.
Rarity would simply reject the idea and only be determined to make me even more feminine, dressing me up in new clothes and hair styles and make-up, trying to get me dates with stallions. She would simply be convinced that all I needed was to be shown how to be a popper mare, going completely against all my wishes.
Rainbow Dash would freak out the most vocally, flying across Ponyville telling everyone to stay away from me because I was such a creep. She would write in the clouds about how deranged I was. Soon the whole town would know thanks to her.
Pinkie Pie would simply laugh at me, thinking I was playing a joke. After a few days she would simply laugh at me for wanting such a thing, wondering what the heck was going on in my head. Everywhere in town I would go, she'd be laughing at me and thanks to her, others would join in as well.
Applejack would simply not understand and take forever to completely know what it meant to be a transpony. Once she did, she would know that no normal pony would ever want to be a different gender and she would consider me a freak, leaving my life forever from refusal to associate herself with such a pony.
Twilight would think I'd been cursed, or that there was a logical explanation for my thoughts. She'd probably hide herself away in her library looking in her books for the answer. After Twilight wasn't able to find an answer, she'd ask Princess Celestia and even the Princess would know what I thought of myself.
And who knows what the Princess would do with me...
All of this information and these experiences and fears came spitting out of me at once and I wasn't all that sure that it was exactly coherent for Rarity.
After a while of mumbling about my past year of self-discovery, I trailed off my speaking and slowly opened my eyes. I stopped talking completely then, taking a few gasps of breath and wiping away my tears from the raw emotion of everything going on. Then I looked down at my hooves awaiting Rarity's rejection. When she didn't speak, I looked over at her and was surprised not to see an angry or a disgusted face.
The white mare's expression was sort of...blank. She was just looking at me, eyes wide open, mouth ajar. I wasn't able to tell what she was thinking like I normally was.
"Uhm...R-rarity...?" I asked, whispering. She didn't move. "Uhm...can you s-say something...please? I don't want you t-to....hate...me...." I dropped my head thinking that she probably did already and muttered to myself, "I'll go get you some more tea." I brought her cup into the kitchen and as I poured another cup, tears cascaded down from my eyes. It was true; my worst fears were coming alive. It wouldn't be before long until the Princess had her hooves on me, probably banishing me from all of Equestria, or locking me up somewhere. As I solemnly trotted back into my living room, Rarity turned to face me. By the time I set the tea cup down, her expression was starting to fade.
"Fluttershy..." Rarity said quietly. She seemed to be thinking hard, trying to word herself carefully. She slowly sipped her tea, pondering who-knows-what. "Fluttershy...I...don't understand." I sighed. Here we go...
"W-well, do you know what a transpony is?" After saying 'transpony' the first time, it was easier to get out and use in a sentence.
Rarity smiled slightly and nodded, "Yes, of course. What I mean is I don't understand how you could think such thoughts of your best friends or why you haven't talked to us about any of this!" she exclaimed She seemed hurt and a little offended, but certainly not like she was going to pull me into her shop and take measurements. I sat there quietly for a moment. "Fluttershy, we're your best friends. And you've been thinking about this for months, and never said a thing about it?"
I nodded slowly. "I-I....I was scared, Rarity." That sentence pretty much summed up my entire past few months worth of thoughts. But she wasn't reacting the way I feared she would, so perhaps the others wouldn't either. Of course, it was too soon to tell.
"Darling. It's okay if you want to be a stallion. That's the way you were born. You can't change that." Rarity stated. What she said was perfectly true, but it was a thought that had never crossed my mind. The only words that described my identification thus far were words like "wrong" and "disgusting". Rarity was showing me the utmost kindness though, and it was overwhelming since I had not prepared myself for it, but a different reaction entirely. I wasn't sure how to accept that she was so accepting, as odd as it sounded.
I looked up around my house, in such disbelief. I was probably dreaming. Slowly I lifted up my foreleg and bit it. Hard, hoping it'd wake me from a dream. Then I blinked a few times and was still in the exact same spot. I certainly wasn't dreaming, although Rarity was now giving me that disgusted look I was expecting all along, but only from me biting myself.
"I just...I really thought you were going to hate me."
Rarity smiled. "That's the magic of friendship. It defies all else and is there to the very end. Just like I will be for you. Come now, let’s find the other mares."
My eyes widened. "W-why Rarity?" I asked quickly. Rarity shrugged and told me that we might as well tell the rest of them since they'll find out eventually. I objected, but she assured me that they wouldn't react the way they did in my nightmares.
I suppose Rarity was right, that my friends were truly friends of mine. After all, could the elements of Loyalty, Honesty, Magic, and Laughter really reject one of their most treasured friends? My thoughts still fought against me, but I had to force them away. I'd already told Rarity and nothing but good had come from it. I was still scared to tell the others about this change, but I'd rather it happened now as opposed to later, after I spent hours or days worrying about it. I had already done enough of that to myself.
Rarity and I made our ways across town in search of Rainbow Dash. Rarity said she knew where the cyan mare would be and so I followed her along town. Before long, I realized we were trotting along to the outskirts of town, near the Everfree Forest. Rarity stopped walking as she saw Rainbow Dash soaring high in the sky.
I stopped walking just behind her and Rarity whispered to me, "You know, you're lucky your best friend is a seamstress. You will be the best looking colt in all of Ponyville." she stated egotistically. I just gulped, knowing Rainbow Dash hadn't heard, but still worried she had at the same time. As Rarity called up to Rainbow Dash, my fears were getting to me again. She was going to tell everypony, that was for sure. She would have me run out of town without a chance to even gather my things. I knew by telling her that my departure for Ponyville was imminent.
I quickly wondered to myself why I hadn't packed before we left to find Rainbow Dash.
As the rainbow pony floated down to the grass, she smiled at us both. "Hey Rarity, 'sup Fluttershy. What brings you guys here?" She walked up to us, lowering her wings slowly back into their usual spots on her body. She yawned and smiled, readily awaiting what we had to say. Rarity looked around and seeing that no one was around, she told Rainbow Dash to sit down.
"Fluttershy has something serious to tell you." Rarity stated simply. She was going to leave the rest to me. Rainbow Dash dropped her flank to the ground and smiled.
"What's the matter Fluttershy?" she asked. I gulped a second time as I took a breath and started to speak....
I looked down at my hooves and looked back up at her. I just had to say it, I already had once. I looked her in the eyes and the words just sort of came out. But this time, since I had already vented my feelings, there were fewer words than Rarity had to endure.
"I....w-want to...be a colt." I whispered.
Rainbow Dash cocked her head to the side and squinted her eyes. "Uh...come again?" She asked. I looked over at Rarity for comfort, not knowing what Rainbow Dash didn't understand. Rarity simply closed her eyes, smiled, and nodded. I looked back over at Rainbow Dash. Maybe she just hadn't heard me.
"I-I...want to be a c-colt." Rainbow Dash's head popped up, her eyes wide. Oh gosh, here came the cloud messages. The screaming and hollering about how I felt to Ponyville was completely inevitable. This was so wrong, I shouldn't have told her...
"Awesome!" she shouted, smiling. I lowered my head and blinked a few times out of sheer confusion. Rarity reacted differently than I thought she would, and now Rainbow Dash. I didn't understand what was going on. How could they accept me so simply when I thought I was a freak? All I knew was that this meant that my secret was safe from the rest of Ponyville for now, thankfully.
"R-really?" I asked Rainbow Dash, breathing out slowly.
Rainbow Dash smiled and nodded, "Totally! Did you know one of the Wonderbolts is a transcolt?" My head then perked up. I guess this meant I wasn't so alone. Maybe being a transcolt was a lot more normal than I'd initially thought. Something told me that I had a lot to learn about all of this and that this day was just the beginning. It was scary, but I knew I had at least two friends behind me, which made for a great confidence boost. "You know Soarin, right?" Rainbow Dash asked, and then she smiled. "Who knew, right? Uh, nopony until he told all of Equestria in a press conference. Anyway, I think it's cool Fluttershy, thanks for telling me! Who else knows?" I turned and looked at Rarity. It would have been only her if she hadn't practically dragged me here. I knew she was helping me though, so I couldn't be angry at her. I wish she'd let me do this on my own time though.
At my acknowledgment of her, Rarity finally chimed in. "Just us three! I happened to know you'd be around here today so I thought we should run right over to see you and tell you! Better now, not later, right?"
Rainbow Dash made a face at her. I think she felt what I had been thinking, but too shy to say. It's not like it was that big of a deal anyway. "Rarity, did you even ask Fluttershy before coming here?" Rainbow Dash asked, starting to sound increasingly offended. I didn't want them to start fighting because of me; I certainly was no reason to fight. Rarity opened her mouth to speak, but after thinking for a moment she dropped her head and sighed,
"No. I just thought---"
"---I know what you thought Rarity. You were probably just excited for others to know, too. Right?" Rarity nodded. Rainbow Dash shrugged and turned to me, "Fluttershy, is it okay that I know?" Rainbow Dash asked, smiling at me.
I nodded slowly, smiling back at her, "I didn't want to tell anypony at first...but after telling you I think I can tell the others..."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at this. I guess she wasn't so used to me being sure of myself. "You sure?"
I nodded again, still smiling. Of course I was scared to tell her at first, but Rarity's little push, while hostile at first, ended up being a good thing for me---a really good thing. Now I was not only comfortable with the idea, but comfortable with my friends knowing. I suppose what Rarity did was wrong, but at the same time, it had helped me. Rarity was only trying to do just that, anyway. "Cool. So, do you want to tell Applejack, Twilight, and Pinkie Pie?" I thought for a moment.
Rainbow Dash had done the absolute opposite of what I thought she'd do. Instead of telling everypony, she seemed offended that Rairty had made me tell her against my wishes. I knew I should just get it over with and tell the other three, but that fear was still there---even if it had decreased. I weighed the good and bad that could come from telling the other mares and decided that while what I envisioned could come true, a more realistic scene could play out. It was possible that they'd be upset that I'd told Rarity and Rainbow Dash right away, but waited to tell them.
I looked to the sky, breathing in and out slowly, and decided that the day was young and I might as well get it all over with. I looked back to Rarity and Rainbow Dash, who were exchanging worried glances at each other, and smiled to them. I nodded slowly and told them I would like to tell the other three today, preferably at the same time. While it would be better to have more personal encounters with them, I figured that I'd put it off long enough since the anxiety I had was bubbling up inside of me. I just had to know what their reactions would be.
Rainbow Dash said she knew Pinkie Pie would be at the shop so that was the first place we trotted off to. When we arrived, Pinkie Pie was up to her usual self, jumping around happy to see her friends,
"We've got something to tell you Pinkie Pie. Well, Fluttershy does." Rainbow Dash stated.
Pinkie Pie stopped dancing around us and looked at Rainbow Dash, her spirits simmered down a bit. "Is everypony okay?" she asked, looking from me, to Rarity, and then back to Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash nodded and sighed, "Everypony is fine. Can you be cool about this?" She sounded a little frustrated, but I knew she was probably just as anxious as I was. Pinkie Pie's ears and tail deflated and she nodded solemnly. I walked over to her and whispered in her ear,
"Pinkie Pie, don't be sad. It's nothing bad, Rainbow Dash is just a little anxious. That's all."
With my words, Pinkie Pie lifted her head up, cheery as ever, and smiled big at me. "Okie Dokie!" she beamed with happiness. I knew Pinkie Pie would probably be the worst of my problems when it came time to telling them all. Now that I was standing in front of her, I realized that her going around town laughing at me was highly unlikely. I smiled back at her, now beaming just as she was.
"Pinkie Pie darling," Rarity said, "We need to find Twilight and Applejack first though. Have you seen them?"
Pinkie Pie nodded her head vigorously. "Twilight is actually with Applejack! They're at her farm."
Rarity smiled at Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash nodded, "Cool." she said simply.
The three of us trotted along behind Pinkie Pie even though we knew where we were going. Rainbow Dash was flying high above us, Rarity just a hoof or two ahead of me. I was walking as slow as I could, behind the rest of the mares. None of what was going on felt very real anymore to me. While I was sure that I wanted to tell the other ponies, I still had that part of me holding onto fear like I always did.
This one time though, I had to be strong. This is who I am. I saw myself as a colt and regardless of how weird it made me feel, it also made me feel a happiness I'd never felt before. This was right.
"Heeere we are!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. Rarity looked back at me, smiling as always. She always had the prettiest smile....
"Are you absolutely sure?" Rainbow Dash asked me, floating down to the road.
I nodded my head and smiled at her, "Oh yes, Rainbow Dash. I'm still a little scared to be honest, but I believe this is for the best."
Rainbow Dash smiled at me with a determined gleam in her eye. "Okay. And if anypony gives you problems, they'll be answering to me." Rainbow Dash nodded as she said this. Just as what had happened with Rarity, I was thankful for Rainbow Dash's intentions, but I didn't want anypony fighting because of me and how I feel about myself.
"Oh it's okay Rainbow Da---" Without being able to get another syllable in, Rainbow Dash sped off to the gates of Applejack's farm.
Greeted by our two other friends, Applejack and Twilight, Rainbow Dash stopped in her tracks and smiled at the two then turned around to Pinkie Pie, Rarity and me, "Come on you slow pokes!" she teased.
Pinkie Pie broke out into a quick skip and soon was waiting with the three other mares, soon followed by Rarity. I walked up to the five of them and smiled at all my friends. Applejack welcomed us all and offered us something to drink, but Twilight seemed curious as to what caused our visit.
"Could you two spare a moment or two? We have to talk to you mares about something." Rarity chimed. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash nodded. While Pinkie Pie still didn't know what we were going to talk about, she was still ever-supportive of the meeting.
"Of course Rarity." Twilight said, exchanging a glance with Applejack. "What about?" Applejack nodded, intrigued.
"Uh, we'll get to that when we are somewhere....private." Rainbow Dash said, her voice descending into a whisper.
"Well, there aint no-pony around here, Dash. We pretty much are in private." Applejack chuckled as she spoke, trying to battle Rainbow Dash's harsh demeanor. As Rainbow Dash frowned, Applejack continued, "But no-pony is in the house, come on in everypony. Twilight and I weren't doing nothing important." Twilight looked at her hooves and laughed, then turned around to go in the house with the other ponies. I smiled, happy that everyone was getting situated without my instruction, but I knew they would all go silent and leave the talking to me once we were inside.
"So guys, what brings you all here today?" Twilight asked.
Rarity and Rainbow Dash exchanged a glance as Pinkie Pie jumped up and squealed, "Well, I actually don't know! The three of them just asked where you were because they wanted to talk about Fluttershy!" she stated matter-of-factly. Everypony looked at me. Oh no...there were so many eyes on me....
"Well Fluttershy? What is it?" Twilight asked, smiling at me reassuringly. Applejack leaned her head in towards me, smiling as well. They were both clearly engaged in what I was going to say.
"Uhm...Well...you see, I...." I stammered. I don't know why this was so hard for me when I was able to say it before. I glanced at Rarity, who flashed an award-winning smile, then over to Pinkie Pie, whose anxiety and excitement of hearing something new was through the roof. Twilight and Applejack sat calmly, clearly not rushing me to speak while Rainbow Dash on the other hoof was gesturing for me to speak up.
"Well, I am a..." I coughed and then spit the word out, "transpony." I immediately looked at the ground, not wanting to see their expressions.
"And if any of you has a problem with that you can---"
"It's okay Rarity, she's just sticking up for me...." I whispered. Rainbow Dash's ears perked up at my comment.
"Wait. A...what?" Applejack asked,
"A....trans...pony?" Pinkie Pie questioned, "What's that?" That was the moment when I looked up. Pinkie Pie didn't look angry, just curious.
Not too surprisingly, it was Twilight to answer her question, "It's a pony that identifies as a different gender. Some ponies are born that way. Albeit rare, it happens." Twilight looked over at me questioningly, "Although like I said, it is very rare. I've never personally met one that I know of, just read about them. Are you sure Fluttershy? You could just be having feelings of wanting to meet a colt you can be with." I shook my head vigorously. That was not it at all, I was sure. "Do you like....mares?" she asked, whispering now. I shook my head helplessly, feeling irritated that she wasn't believing me.
"Wait wait wait. So, what does this mean?" Applejack asked.
"It means," Pinkie Pie stated, "That Fluttershy wants to be a colt!"
Rarity shook her head, "No dear, she already sees herself as one."
"Shouldn't we be calling you 'he' then, Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked me suddenly. I hadn't thought about that yet.
"Most transponies request that" Twilight added, "A few don't, but it's customary."
"Wait so Fluttershy is a colt?" Applejack asked thoroughly confused. Twilight nodded,
"It seems peculiar, but sh---he says so." Twilight stated
"Wait...What's peculiar about it?" Rainbow Dash demanded
"It's just that not many ponies are actually transponies, some go through phases or---" Twilight was interrupted by Rarity.
"Fluttershy is not going through a phase." Rarity yelled, slamming a hoof down
"All I mean is---" Twilight tried.
"I still don't get it! Why do you look like a mare then, Fluttershy?" Applejack asked, starting to get angry.
"Because silly. It's not how she looks, it's how she feels about inside!" Pinkie Pie said, nodding to herself.
Everyone stammering comments out to one another was starting to get too overwhelming for me.
"Please. Can we talk one at a time?" I asked. The ponies continued on and bickered. "Please?" I said again, yet louder.
All the ponies looked at me and nodded, simmering down. Everyone seemed to calm down, except for Applejack.
"I still don' get it! How can you say you're a colt if you are clearly are mare?" She was not yelling, but her frustration was clear.
"She's not a mare, Applejack, even if sh---he looks like one" Rarity clarified.
Twilight nodded, "Most transponies end up having surgies to correct their body" Twilight added. Applejack gasped,
"Surgeries?" Applejack asked, "Why? So they can have a---" Applejack gasped again, looking at me funny. "Do you want that?" she asked me.
"Uh---That's a personal question Applejack" Twilight pointed out. Applejack shook her head,
"I...I don' care! All of this affects me just like it affects y'all!" she blurted out. "I just don't...I don't understand! How could somepony want that?" Applejack started pacing around. "It just doesn't make any sense to me. I---I'm sorry everypony." And with that, Applejack fled the room. Twilight started to run after her, but Rainbow Dash stoppped her.
"Let her go Twilight." she said.
Pinkie Pie nodded, "She just needs to sort her thoughts out."
Throughout the scene that unfolded before me, nopony took the time to realize I was crying. Not until now. Rarity rushed to my side,
"Oh Fluttershy! That was awful. I'm sorry she said all that in front of you."
"Speaking of saying stuff in front of Fluttershy, what was up with all that phase stuff?" Rainbow Dash darted her eyes towards Twilight helplessly.
Twilight was startled, like she had said absolutely nothing wrong. "I just meant---" Twilight waited a moment. "Fluttershy did I make you cry? I was just---"
"That this is a phase? Do you think she'd be crying if this was a phase?" Rainbow Dash asked, sighing. Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a stern look, telling her to calm down. Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. Then, "Twilight, look. Fluttershy is hurt. Really, really hurt. Don't you think she must be sure of this?" she asked desperately.
"'He'!" Pinkie Pie corrected. Rainbow Dash sighed at Pinkie Pie.
"All I mean is that she could not know how she feels. She might be...confused. If I talked with her one-on-one I might get a better idea of how she feels about herself." Twilight offered.
Rainbow Dash wasn't buying anything Twilight was saying though and her last comment revved Rainbow Dash back up again, "Confused? Twilight...not everything has to be analyzed and studied! Some things just are...For once can you not be such a loser and let this happen?" Tears welled up in Twilight's eyes. Rainbow Dash had used the one insult that actually offended Twilight---and she knew it. Twilight fled from the room, running in the direction than Applejack had. Rainbow Dash turned around and was now facing me and Rarity as well as Pinkie Pie who had just joined us.
"Was all that really necessary Rainbow Dash? I mean the name calling---really?" Rarity asked, sighing.
"I'm sorry." she spat out. "I mean---just look at her! They're making this so much more difficult than it needs to be. How many times did Twilight explain it? And Applejack still didn't understand! And Twilight...and her phase stuff. Ugh..." Rainbow Dash whimpered, looking toward me.
"They just don't understand, yet. They'll come around. It's very possible that Applejack really hasn't heard of this type of thing before. It's no insult on her, she just needs a moment to let it...soak in." Rarity said, to both me and Rainbow Dash. "And Twilight---well...She always tries to have an answer for everything. Perhaps Fluttershy's news scared her?" Rainbow Dash slumped down in front of me. I wiped my teary eyes and looked at her.
She offered a half-smile to me. "Fluttershy---I'm sorry." Rainbow Dash whispered.
I wanted to tell her it was okay, but this time, it just wasn't.
Applejack and I walked the perimeter of Sweet Apple Acres, trying to make sense of our thoughts and feelings about Fluttershy. For a start, I answered questions that Applejack had while she offered a less analytic opinion for me.
“So, Fluttershy wasn't born as a colt, but she just identifies as one.” Applejack asked me, confirming the information I’d given her. I didn't understand why the idea was so difficult for her to realize, but I didn't mention my thoughts and was patient with her.
I nodded, “Precisely. Like I said inside, it’s rare, but happens.”
Applejack sighed, blowing the bangs of her mane off to the side. “I don’t know Twi. I mean, if that’s what Fluttershy feels then great, but why are some ponies born like that? It hardly seems fair!” she asked, exasperated.
I nodded again, “Some ponies are born like that; it’s just another part of them. And no, it isn’t fair.”
Applejack stopped walking, almost bumping into me. She kept her eyes hidden from me until now, revealing a few tears welling up. “Poor Fluttershy. Has she always felt like this? She must be so uncomfortable in her own body!”
“I don’t think we’ll ever really understand how Fluttershy truly feels.” I whispered. I paused for a moment, enjoying the silence with Applejack. I closed my eyes and tried to picture Fluttershy as a colt. I suppose it was feasible, but I wished there was a way we could somehow give her a more masculine cutie mark.
I opened my eyes and looked over Applejack’s family farm. All of our six families had come from different places and understand a different way of living. In a way, Fluttershy’s trans-identity was just another way of living. How could there be anything wrong with that? “I don’t know how long she’s felt like this. It could be a recent development, it could be something she’s felt her whole life.” I said shrugging, then sat down across from Applejack.
“Well, does that mean we have to call her ‘he’ now?” she asked me.
I nodded, still deep in thought. “I assume with time that advancment will come. She also might come up with a more masculine name for herself that she will ask us to call her.” Applejack nodded, tears still in her eyes. I suppose she felt such deep pain for Fluttershy, probably mixed with embarrassment for how she’s acted towards her earlier. I felt bad about what I said to her as well. I don’t think I was being compassionate enough, especially in such a vital part of Fluttershy’s life.
After all that I’ve learned from my friends about friendship, I felt like I had failed Fluttershy when she needed us all the most. I looked down and closed my eyes, a small tear making its way out of my eye.
Applejack came closer to me, placing a hoof delicately on my back. “Twi, it’s okay. I know what you’re thinking. Fluttershy will forgive us. We were a little too brash, true, but I don’t suppose everyone can react like Pinkie Pie does.” I laughed out loud at Applejack’s comment, allowing a few more tears to fall. There was something about Applejack that made me feel…warm.
“Thanks, AJ. I know it’s selfish to be upset, but I’m just upset because I probably hurt Fluttershy, especially when she was so vulnerable.”
“Like I said, she’ll forgive us with time. We’re friends, and I aint never heard of good friends goin and givin up on each other.”
I looked up and smiled at Applejack, her cute smile glowing. "You’re right. Fluttershy has never showed us anything but kindness, accepting us for all that we are.”
Applejack nodded, laughing to herself, “That she has.” Applejack took a double take at me and smiled at me. I smiled back. Applejack looked…well, beautiful. I closed my eyes and nuzzled my head into her chest, smiling as I did so. I heard Applejack sigh with contentment.
“Nothing has changed, Twi.” Applejack noted.
I nodded, “We’ll all be okay. And we’ll be with Fluttershy all throughout her transition.” I heard Applejack stop breathing.
“Her what?
"Transition. From mare to colt." Applejack nodded, absorbing the silence.
* * *
After a moment of Applejack and I enjoying the serene silence after the storm that happened inside her house, we decided it would be best if we went back in to say our apologies to Fluttershy, we at least owed that much to her.
As we trotted back inside, we spoke quietly of how we would calm Rainbow Dash if she blew up again. Applejack opened the door and all eyes were on us. Pinkie Pie was happy to see us again, of course. Rainbow Dash looked up smugly, not sure if we were friend or foe anymore. Fluttershy was close with Rarity who only glanced at us, and then continued brushing Fluttershy's hair, with the intention to calm her.
Fluttershy looked at us both, happy to see us again, but hesitant. Applejack, now chickening out at speaking first looked at me pleading with her eyes.
I took a step forward, then sat down. "I'm really sorry Fluttershy." I looked around the room, "And to everyone else. I wasn't being compassionate enough and it isn't fair." Rainbow Dash exchanged a look with Rairty. Rarity smiled and Rainbow Dash looked relieved at my words.
I suddenly felt Applejack by my side. "Fluttershy, I'm sorry too. Twilight talked to me all about being a transpony and I understand better now. My frustration wasn't with you, it was with myself." Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and smiled. Pinkie Pie jumped up to us and hugged us both, without saying a word. Rarity stopped brushing Fluttershy's mane and genuinely smiled at us both. Fluttershy looked up at us both, but she was upset.
"Fluttershy, what's wrong?" I asked suddenly. After apologizing, why would she still be sad?
"Did you two think I was mad at you?" My ears peaked down as I blushed.
Applejack and I looked at each other and grinned sheepishly, "Well...yeah, sugarcube." Applejack said, laughing.
Pinkie Pie laughed at Applejack's reply, "You sillies! She was more mad at Rainbow Dash than anyone else for exploding at you two!" I looked over at Fluttershy and Rairty, who nodded,
"It's not your fault for not having knowledge, Applejack dear. And Twilight, you were just processing the information given to you as you normally do. It's your nature."
Rainbow Dash nodded, then took a step up to me and Applejack, "If anything, I should be apologizing to you two." Applejack and I looked at each other shocked, then back at Rainbow Dash, "I wasn't fair. I was being overly protective of Fluttershy's feelings and hurt them in the process of doing so, doing exactly what I was trying to avoid." I let out a brief laugh, looking around the room once more.
For the most part, everyone was smiling pretty wide,
"So, we're all okay?" I asked. Fluttershy smiled and nodded, her eyes closed.
"As long as everyone is okay with Fluttershy, yeah. Don't see why not." Rainbow Dash pointed out.
Pinkie Pie hugged me and Applejack again, "Why wouldn't we be?" Pinkie Pie asked laudly, "We're all best friends! We have to learn to forgive each other!" I nodded with Applejack.
And just like that, we were all okay. It was all going to be okay, just like Applejack had said. Our friendship was strong, that much I knew. This was just another brief trial that would test us, and we had all passed. Now we needed to be there for Fluttershy, more than ever.
I covered my head with my hooves and closed my eyes. After what just happened with Rainbow Dash, I don’t know why Twilight and Applejack would ever even want to talk to me again. This was all my fault.
Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned this at all.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Fluttershy.” Rarity asked, gently.
I sighed, “RainbowDashyoushouldn’thavedonethat.” I murmured quickly.
I could hear her work her way over to me, “What’d you say?” Rainbow Dash asked. I didn’t know if I wanted to repeat myself. Who knows how Rainbow Dash was still feeling. She could even start getting angry at me! I definitely didn’t want three of my friends mad at me. I uncovered one of my eyes to reveal a smug Rainbow Dash. She felt completely justified, but how?
“I said…you shouldn’t have done that.”
Rainbow Dash’s expression turned frustrated, “Fluttershy, don’t you see? They don’t get it!” Rarity came closer to me, putting a hoof on my mane.
“Rainbow Dash, I think it’s you that doesn’t get it.” Rarity chimed in.
Rainbow Dash cocked her head to the left, “Explain.”
Rarity huffed in disbelief, “It’s just like you said. They don’t get it. But that’s all. They don’t get it. They weren’t acting aggressive towards Fluttershy, it wasn’t her at all.” I nodded.
Before Rarity spoke, I felt like I was going insane, but it was good to see that someone was thinking like I was. Applejack and Twilight weren’t being malicious. It was just as much of a shock to them as it would be to anyone else. There was something inside me that told me the damage had already been done though, and if anything, they would be angry...and they had every reason to be.
“Rainbow Dash, look.” Rarity gestured toward me. “Fluttershy doesn’t want her friends mad at each other…and frankly, I don’t either.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged, “They weren’t being patient enough with Fluttershy.”
Rarity let out a quick condescending laugh, “And you weren’t being patient enough with them.” I nodded at Rarity’s comment. At that point she started to levitate an orange brush over and started brushing my mane. I dropped my head and closed my eyes, listening to my friends speak.
“Dashie,” Pinkie Pie chimed in, “It’s not like they hate Fluttershy!” I wasn’t so sure about that, “If anything they hate you for being so mean!” she said, keeping her gleeful demeanor.
“…W…what?” Rainbow Dash asked slowly. Maybe Pinkie Pie hadn’t chosen the best wording.
“Pinkie Pie, no one hates anyone!” Rarity scolded.
“Well I still stand by what I said earlier! Twilight can’t analyze this like it’s one of her books for Princess Celestia. This is one of her best friends; it isn’t so cut and dry.” Rainbow Dash offered helplessly. It was clear that she was the outlier in the room and she was starting to understand that.
Rarity sighed, it was clear that she wasn't getting through to Rainbow Dash, “Yes, but if you show them patience and compassion, they’ll mirror that. If we had all kept calm in the situation, maybe we would still all be in the room.” Rarity offered.
I nodded opening my eyes, “She has a point Rainbow Dash.” I added.
Rainbow Dash now looked upset, “But---” she started,
“You do have a point, Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie said, cutting her off, “You just didn’t go about it the right way.” Rainbow Dash slumped down onto the floor. After looking down for a brief moment, Rainbow Dash looked me in the eye and suddenly it felt like we were the only two in the room,
“Fluttershy, I…I’m sorry.” she looked down again and shook her head, “I just…I didn’t want them to…” She laughed at herself and shook her head again.
I think she had finally, finally realized that her actions were wrong, though she didn’t explicitly communicate that to me. Just then, she ran out of the room in a flash, going the opposite way that Applejack and Twilight had, without a word. I sighed to myself slowly. Pinkie Pie then trotted over to my side,
“She’ll be back. She always comes back.” Pinkie Pie flashed an award-winning Pinkie Pie Smile at me and I couldn’t help but giggle. Rarity was still brushing my mane.
* * *
After Applejack and Twilight apologized to me and Rainbow Dash apologized to them, I felt better. No one was angry with me and the three of them managed to sort out their feelings in a healthy way.
“So…now what?” Applejack asked as she kicked her hoof, breaking the silence that followed after the apologies.
“Group hug!” Pinkie Pie shouted. She then leaped on top of me and hugged me tightly. Everyone else followed suit.
It was good knowing that on at least surface level, we were all okay again, I didn't like it when my friends were angry with each other, it never felt right to me.
“Do…do any of you have any questions?” I asked quietly while my friends piled on top of each other.
“Well, I explained the basics to Applejack outside. So I think we’re good.” Twilight stated.
“Yeah. If this is how you’re feelin’ I’m all for it.” Applejack remarked. I took a moment and smiled, happy to feel the warmness of my friends around me.
After everyone pulled away from the hug, Twilight took a more serious turn of conversation, “I have to wonder though, Fluttershy. What are we going to do about your name and pronouns? Are you intending to change those?” Honestly, I hadn't thought about such a thing yet. I shrugged.
“I don’t really…know.”
Twilight’s whole body seemed to deflate, “Oh.” she murmured. Trying to stay optimistic, she perked up again after a moment and said, “Well, that’s okay. No need to rush major decisions!” Everypony nodded with her.
“The truth is Twilight, I haven’t really thought about that stuff. I don’t know how to go about doing it.” I whispered, bumping my front hooves on each other.
Suddenly, Rainbow Dash flew up, gasping loudly, causing a few ponies to jump.
“What?” Everyone seemed to ask in unison.
“I. Know. What. To. Do!” she squealed loudly. She looked absolutely ecstatic. Just then, she bolted out of the room. After a moment she came zooming back in, her head peaking out. “Well come on you slow-ponies!”
“Uh, Rainbow Dash, where exactly are we goin’?” Applejack asked, skeptically.
“It’s a surprise! You’ll see.” she giggled and then trotted to the front door, waiting for us to join her.
“Do you think we should go?” Rarity asked slowly,
“I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” Applejack noted, walking towards the archway. I got up and walked along Applejack.
“But we don’t know where she’s taking us…” Twilight said quickly.
“Can’t be all bad. It’s jus’ Rainbow Dash.” Applejack said, winking at Twilight. She was right.
As we all started slowly walking towards the door, Pinkie Pie zoomed to the front door with Rainbow Dash, bouncing up and down after she got to her destination. “Where are we going, Dash?” she asked quickly, “Are we going on an adventure? I love adventures. Oh! Oh! Are we going on a transventure?” Pinkie Pie laughed at herself.
“Actually Pinkie Pie, we actually kind of are.” Rainbow Dash laughed along with Pinkie Pie, punching her playfully in the leg. Rainbow Dash then turned to see behind her, “What are you guys a bunch of donkeys?” Rainbow Dash looked at us in the hallway, slowly making our way to the front door.
“Jus’ let me grab---“ Applejack ran into the kitchen, getting herself ready to leave the house. Rarity levitated her purple shawl around her shoulders as Twilight gathered her saddlebags from when she came over earlier that morning. “Okay. Let’s head out.” Applejack said as she walked out of the kitchen, “Wynona, you watch the house while I’m gone, ya hear?” Applejack shouted up the stairs. Everyone heard a faint bark and we all smiled. Pinkie Pie opened the door and we were all off.
While walking along the rural parts of Ponyville making our way downtown, we all killed time by guessing extravagant guesses at where we’d be going.
“Rainbow Dash is going to order a double-life sized cake of Fluttershy as a colt!” Pinkie Pie shouted out happily. Everyone laughed at her guess, including me.
“We’re going to go to Manehattan and buy Fluttershy some new clothes!” Rarity offered. You could see her eyes light up at the very thought.
“Or, we’re going to Princess Celestia’s library to find all the books on transponies we can!” Everyone stopped walking and looked at Twilight, who shrugged blushing.
Rainbow Dash was flying above us all, laughing at all of our obscure offers of insight as to where she was leading us. “You’re all way off. But we’re almost there.” she noted as we laughed along each other.
“Where do you think we’re going Fluttershy?” Pinkie Pie asked me, slowing down to walk next to me.
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess we’ll see once we get there.” I said humbly.
Pinkie Pie shook her head, “You have to guess!” she coaxed, nudging me a little. All the ponies looked back at me smiling. They agreed, they were curious as to where I thought we were going, too.
“Well…” I tried to think about it. It was Rainbow Dash. “Uhm…” I thought about her and the things she liked to do. Well, she loved to fly. “Cloudsdale?” Rainbow Dash stopped mid-wing-flap and glared down at me,
“Fluttershy, you ruin all the fun.” she muttered to herself, laughing. She finally smiled again and landed to the ground.
“Come on guys!” Pinkie Pie started running towards what we soon recognized to be our ever-familiar pink hot air balloon.
“Cloudsdale?” Twilight asked.
“What is in Cloudsdale?” Applejack asked. All the other ponies shrugged.
“You’ll see…” Rainbow Dash smiled evilly as we all piled into the balloon.
Rainbow Dash, the head of the group, had to keep being reminded by Twilight that we didn't know where she was going so she had to stay with us.
“Twenty feet in front of us” she added, “doesn't count.”
Rarity’s eyes drew astray several times in a single minute. Rainbow Dash smirked in her direction, noting her clear distraction that was the shops on either side of the road.
“Need a moment Rarity?” Applejack asked, seeing Rainbow Dash’s clear enjoyment.
Rarity eyed them both in a huff, “Let’s keep moving.” she said quietly and impatiently focusing her eyes on the road in front of her. Applejack walked alongside Rarity and bumped her shoulder to let her know that she was only having some fun. Rarity, taking it too seriously, remained looking at her hooves. Applejack looked up, exasperated yet amused, and met Twilight’s gaze, who then looked over at me. Twilight was also amused with the scene and I returned her smile.
After minutes of surface-level banter, Rarity was able to soften up and allow herself to not feel so attacked. Just in time, too, because that was when we arrived at the front doorsteps of our destination.
Rainbow Dash slammed a hoof on the door bell repeatedly until Applejack looked over at her sideways out of the corner of her eyes. Rainbow Dash was sheepishly embarrassed at her own enthusiasm and dropped her hoof. When the door opened, a light blue colt with electric blue hair answered the door,
“Rainbow Daaash,” Soarin blurted, “wha’ tsup!” The two pounded hooves and then Soarin looked behind her, making eye contact with each of us, “And you brought the whole gang!” he said, returning his gaze to Rainbow Dash. She smiled and nodded, and then Soarin backed up, allowing us inside. As we walked in single file, he muttered hello’s at each of us. Soarin stopped Rarity though, and then proceeded to lift her hoof and kiss it.
Rarity laughed to herself awkwardly, mumbling about how she didn't know what to say. I was right behind Rarity and naturally last in line. Soarin beamed an award winning smile at me and his teeth also seemed to gleam a hello.
Soarin had a large house completely and inevitably adorned with Wonderbolts paraphernalia. From trophies and photos to attire and figurines, it was clear that Soarin's life truly revolved around the Wonderbolts. He lead us into a living room with vaulted ceilings and a chandelier, then offered us drinks, “Anything of your heart’s desire.” Soarin stated, with a twinkle in his eye.
Rainbow Dash had lemonade, Apple Jack asked for juice. Twilight requested a sweet carbonated drink and Rarity required an herbal tea. Pinkie Pie asked for chocolate milk. With a straw. When Soarin looked over my way to see what I wanted to drink, I looked down and quietly asked for water. Soarin took a moment to smile at my request, but then carried on out of the room. Once the doors were closed, everypony looked at Rainbow Dash.
We were silent until Twilight finally spoke up for us all, “Rainbow Dash, are we here because Soarin is…?” she trailed off, not knowing how to politely finish her question,
“A transcolt?” Rainbow Dash asked, which was returned with a nod from almost everyone. Except me. I wasn't sure why we were there because I didn't know what Soarin could to for me. Emotional assistance maybe? Beyond both being pegasi and both potentially being transcolts, I wasn't sure that we’d had anything in common.
Soarin returned and sat in a cushy chair next to us. He smiled at us all, “So to what do I owe the pleasure of you lovely mares?” he asked. The girls blushed and smiled, and then Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak. She couldn't seem to get words out though, and looked to Rarity for help.
Rarity then cleared her throat and spoke up, “Soarin, our dear friend Fluttershy has shared a part of herself with us that we---well, Rainbow Dash---thought you could help her with.”
Soarin smiled, clearly intrigued, and turned his smile to me, “What can I do ya for, Fluttershy?” I sighed. Here we were at this moment again. I knew I was comfortable talking about it among my friends, but Soarin is a celebrity and we just don’t know each other personally. I glanced Pinkie Pie’s way, who was ecstatic to help me out. I smiled and slightly nodded at her.
“Well you see Soarin,” Pinkie Pie burst, “Fluttershy thinks she’s a transcolt!” I smiled crookedly at Soarin, who was now looking at me again, and nodded.
“Transcolt, huh?” Soarin smiled and slunk down into his chair, “I can totally see it.”
“Whaa?” my five friends exclaimed at the same time, “How?”
Soarin closed his eyes and merely shook his head, “Just do.” he stated simply, “So. Fluttershy. Do you have any questions for me or anything?” I looked around at my friends. Was right here and right now such a time and place for such an intimate conversation? I looked over at Rainbow Dash timidly and Soarin took the hint, “We can definitely meet up back here some time later and we can have some uh−“ Soarin looked down at my drink, “---water.” I nodded graciously.
Soarin’s loyalty to Rainbow Dash all the way to the point where he blindly trusted me was awe-inspiring. He sure was a charming colt to begin with, but this made him even more disarming. Perhaps at first glance we were strangers, but it seemed both being transcolts was a deep thing we could share together. Potentially and hopefully, we could even become good friends. My quick judgment, I decided, was too harsh. Beyond the fame and reputation he had, there was a real colt inside him, just like everyone else. I suppose it would be hard to open up to him at first, not that I’m very good at it, but I wanted to try.
“I’d like that Soarin.” I replied, “It would be great to get to know you.”
Soarin smiled and nodded his head respectfully, and then looked back at Rainbow Dash, “Anything else I can do for you mares?” Soarin glanced at me, “And Fluttershy?” he added, winking at me.
“Ah, no actually. I was just hoping I could introduce you two.” Rainbow Dash beamed, obviously pleased with the results of her idea.
“Rad. Glad I could help you out, then!” Soarin projected a smile towards us all, “Any of you are welcome at my place any time, of course. Any friend of Rainbow Dash’s must be one good character!” We exchanged smiles awkwardly with Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, who were looking straight at Soarin. “Oh!” he gasped, “And I can make arrangements for you three mares as well!” Rarity smiled, pleased with what she was hearing.
Pinkie Pie’s eyes seemed to pop out of her head from an idea she was having. This, not surprisingly, was something I was already accustomed to seeing. “Oh! Will we get to ride in a hot air balloon again?” she asked while practically jumping out of her seat.
Soarin laughed with her and then to himself, “I’ll see what I can do.”
Applejack laughed with Rairty and then nudged Pinkie Pie, who giggled, but then stopped fitting in her seat. “She’s jokin’ ah’course.” Applejack said to Soarin, “Whatever you’ve got set up for us is fine.”
Soarin smiled, “So humble, Applejack. I’m sure I could find arrangements for a hot air balloon somewhere around here.” Applejack smiled devilishly. Soarin clearly loved to see Pinkie Pie excited. Perhaps it was the same sort of excitement he received from fans, I wondered. That, then, was a loud emotion he was very used to and comfortable around.
“Cool, cool, cool!” Pinkie Pie gleamed. Soarin saluted in her general direction.
Twillight, a pony who had stayed relatively quiet the entire time, chose then to speak up. She’d been staying reserved, I noticed, and seemed to be observing the scene unfolding in front of her. “Soarin,” Twilight called quietly, “I was actually wondering if I could talk with you sometime too. You see, I mentioned to the girls earlier that I don’t know much about transponies. I don’t intend to be too intrusive, but if you could answer a few questions for me about them, I’d be very grateful.”
Soarin waved his hoof at Twilight, dismissing her impulsive fear. “Like I said, you mares are welcome any time. I’d love to have a princess company for a second time! I’ll make sure to stock up on that drink you like.” Twilight’s face flushed as she immediately started sputtering about how he didn't have to go through the trouble. Soarin laughed, “It’s no bother! We’re low anyway.” Twilight shrugged and slowly quieted herself again.
Just then, Rainbow Dash took a last sip from her cup and got up from the couch, “Well, I think we've gotta be heading back, it was good to see you again. We need to hook up with Spitfire again, last time was a blast!” she squealed.
Soarin got up and nodded, “Too true.” Right then, Soarin’s eyes lit up, “Hey! Fluttershy!” he called, startling me and causing me to knock over my water. I stood there and sputtered about how clumsy I was until Soarin’s hook found my shoulder and he smiled down at me, “It’s no problem. Really. Anyway, I was just thinking. Instead of heading back tonight, we could just talk now since you’re already here.” The idea seemed simple enough, and it would ease the anxiety I would feel over having to wait for the conversation with him.
“Uh…yeah. Yeah, sure Soarin.”
Rainbow Dash nodded and smiled, “Ready to go guys?” The other four mares nodded at Rainbow Dash and started to head for the door. They all looked at me and said a quick goodbye. Knowing I was only to be gone for a few mere hours, it was nothing big and I was sure we’d all see each other tomorrow anyway. Soarin escorted everyone out, then cleaned up the water spill.
After the mares left, Soarin invited me into a smaller room connected to the living room we were in. The room had a grand piano in it and some bookshelves. Beyond that and the grand window, there wasn’t room for much else. In the middle of the room were two chairs. In between them stood a table that was currently being cleaned by a red mare in a maid’s outfit. Soarin seated me, excused the maid to the other room, and then gave me his undivided attention. I settled into my chair and listened to a clock somewhere steadily tick. I looked toward Soarin and smiled, who smiled right back,
“So Fluttershy,” he asked me, “What do ya wanna know?”
I stirred in my seat, desperately trying to properly speak my mind to Soarin. The first thing on my mind was me wondering what tipped off Soarin that I felt like a transcolt. There were so many questions buzzing in my head, but that question was the most prevalent. Because of this, I chose it first to talk about, "Well, Soarin..." I started, "You said you could tell I'm a..."
Soarin cut me off, knowing I was having trouble with my words, "A transcolt? Haha, of course." he merely replied, laughing to himself and shaking his head.
"How?" I asked simply.
Soarin smiled and rolled his eyes, "I got used to it. Obviously, transponies aren't too common a thing, yeah?" I nodded my head and he continued, "Well, out of those, even less are willing to openly talk about it. So when I'm one of those few and random ponies come knocking on my door, I can assume they want to know about something I know quite a thing or two about." I nodded as he went on, "I don't mind though, really. People have to get their information from somewhere, ent it?"
"That's really nice of you. I wouldn't like people coming over to my house all the time with....lots of questions."
Soarin waved a hoof at me, "I'm already a celebrity, what's another question or two? So anyway, ask me another." Soarin smiled at me genuinely, but I still didn't want to pry too far into his personal feelings, even if it helped me to figure out my own. The room went quiet again as I sorted out my thoughts. Soarin waited patiently for me. I supposed that the biggest thing I wanted to know was simply how he knew he was a transcolt.
"Well...How did you figure out...how did you figure it out?" I timidly asked.
Soarin smiled and thought for a brief moment, "I just knew something wasn't right, ya know? Between you and me, I was preeetty girly when I was young." Soarin winked at me as my eyes rudely bulged.
"You? Really?"
Soarin laughed comfortably and nodded, "For sure. And I enjoyed it for what it was, but it still wasn't really me, yeah? Of course I'd adapted to what normalities fillies grow up with, but it was more than a habit of growing up with my peers and conformity than it was me really expressing myself." I nodded, thinking hard about it...I felt the same way. "You know, fillies are into fashion so I got into fashion. Of course, if that's not you, that's totally fine! Ponies figure it out all sorts of ways. They start feeling it at different ages."
"That makes sense..." Soarin handed the conversation over to me again as I formed a question in my mind, "So what'd you do? I mean...you don't look anything like a mare." I asked.
Soarin smiled and continued on, "Haha, thanks. First, I chopped my mane off. My mom helped me with that actually. That was when I was around 14. Then I met with my school's music teacher who taught me how to retrain my voice so that it was lower and I sounded less like a squeaky filly."
I sighed, somewhat frustrated with myself, "That...that's not really what I mean." Soarin raised his eyebrows, "I mean...your muzzle. It's squared off like a typical colt."
Soarin's eyes lowered and he came closer to me, "Magic. Literally, Magic. There's this special doctor in Canterlot. Only one in Equestria! I went to see her and she specializes in that kind of hard-core transformation magic. Reconstruction and what not. Real powerful. Real hard to do. She told me that normally she worked on ponies that had been in accidents or born with deformations, but that she had helped a few transponies out in her time. So she agreed to help me! For a price, she was able to help me look more like a colt! This was only a few years before the Wonderbolts got their big break. I'd gotten some money from the Wonderbolts already, that's what it went to."
I looked down at my hooves and smiled a little, “Magic, huh?” I muttered to myself, looking over at Soarin; to which he replied with a smile. Then he grabbed an apple from the side table and ate it silently for a moment, waiting patiently for me to continue.
It was unbelievable. All problems I face with this could be cured with magic. Could it be possible to change the color of my mane, perhaps? It seemed possible and I laughed to myself, imagining myself with perhaps green hair instead of pink. Soarin appeared to enjoy my silence, perhaps being able to guess what I was thinking about. I looked at Soarin, who was still munching away; his tail was flicking about, happily.
“So you’re really okay with me asking questions?” It was true that the amount of questions in my head I could ask Soarin were practically limitless because of how much I knew at this point.
Soarin nodded, swallowing a piece of apple. “For sure! Especially for you. If you’re thinking you’re a transpony then I hope I can answer every question you have.” I smiled gratefully. Soarin was such a genuine pony, he seemed to really be at peace with himself and being a transpony.
So I got to work. I asked him basic questions like how to tell people, I asked him really hard questions like if the magic hurts, and I asked any sort of question I could find in any nook or cranny of my brain relating to being a transpony. Eventually my flow of questions slowed, at which point Soarin’s maid brought us mugs of apple juice.
“It’s a little dense…all this information…” Soarin noted after the maid left the room while sipping from his cup, “but you’ll get there. It’ll make sense. You’re smart.”
I blushed and blinked away from him; nobody had ever called me smart before. Kind, yes. But smart? “Thank you…” I whispered, slowly sipping from my own mug of apple juice.
Soarin laughed, “If you want to start working on changing, I think you’ll have to be a little louder than that, sport.” Soarin said, laughing to me. I laughed with him as my tension released again. I felt lucky to have met such a guy like Soarin. He and I now shared a similarity that no one else either of us knew had. We weren't common, but we had that in common. I’d started to feel a certain connection yet him, yet I barely knew him.
“I like you Fluttershy.” Soarin told me later in the evening, “When you get around to talking, you’re real funny.” I shook my head, giggling at what Soarin was telling me.
“No way, I’m like a tree. Not funny and not…well...thank you.” Soarin burst out laughing again. Hours had passed since my friends had left Soarin’s house and while there weren't many silences in conversation anymore, they were comfortable silences when they came. Like now.
“Well, I’d better get home. It’s late and I need to feed Angel, my bunny.”
Soarin’s eyes got wide, “You have a bunny? I love bunnies!” he stated as his voice went up a notch, “That is so cute!” Soarin loved bunnies? Who knew! I laughed with him as I got up from my chair. Soarin walked me to the door and ended the evening with a hug.
“So glad I met you Fluttershy, this is gonna be great!”
When I returned from Soarin's house that evening, I sat for a moment in my living room with Angel to think about everything we'd talked about in the time I was there. From the raw emotion of it all I couldn't help but cry a bit. I was already weepy enough when my thoughts moved to Soarin. He was such a genuine colt and so easy to relax around. Soarin knew so much though, I was lucky to learn from him what I did. Not only that, but I never felt stupid when I would ask him a question. All my questions were good questions, to Soarin.
But where was I to go next? Should I travel to Canterlot to visit that doctor he'd mentioned? Could I simply go on a small shopping spree with Rarity? Maybe the other girls might want to go too...
I made my way back into my library and revisited the books which taught me about the idea of transponism. The book in question, “The Change”, which first coined the term for me was a book I’d found at a small book sale in Ponyville a couple years back. I’d bought it not realizing how relevant to my future it would truly be.
I opened the dusty book and flipped to the chapter that discussed the main character’s transmare friend. On the outside the pony was different from me because she was born a stallion and felt like a mare. While I was the other way around, the feelings that she’d felt that were expressed in the story were definitely the same. She was still a side character, so the conversation about her transponism wasn’t too discussed, but it was enough for me to get the information I needed while just starting out. Combined with the knowledge that Soarin offered me, I now knew so much more than I ever thought I would.
I flipped to chapter five: “Brass Bell’s Dilemma” and started rereading. In this chapter, the main character first learns about her friend’s feelings of wanting to be a mare. Her reaction was similar, if not identical, to Apple Jack’s reaction.
Brass Bell had called Starlight over the next evening and the topic of discussion was one that both caught Starlight in confusion and frustration. Admittedly, it was a nice break from having to think about her situation with Stone, but nonetheless it was still a heated night.
Starlight arrived five minutes early to Brass’ house. She rang his doorbell and he answered right away. Immediately, Starlight noticed something wrong with Brass’ demeanor. He appeared to be shaky and nervous and that only made Starlight more nervous about what he wanted to talk about with her. Was he going to profess feelings for her? He couldn’t: especially not right now with the issues she was having with Stone. She also didn’t want to ruin the really great friendship they had, for she valued it more than any other that she had.
Starlight gulped nervously and faked a smile, then walked into Brass’ house. The two sat down and Brass offered her some tea.
“No thanks.” Starlight replied, “How about just some water?”
When Brass returned he sat and faced Starlight, who nervously sipped her water. Brass sighed. “Why do you seem so nervous?” he asked.
Starlight shook her head, taking another sip of water. “Why do you seem so nervous?” she retorted.
Brass laughed to himself and nodded at her comment, “Well,” he started, “I figured something out about myself and I need your support.” he stated simply. It didn’t sound to Starlight like he had feelings for her, so she nodded eagerly, now realizing that he was coming to his best friend and needed some help.
“Yeah.” she muttered, “What do you need?”
Brass sighed to himself and closed his eyes. Then, “I’m a transpony.” he blurted out.
Starlight choked on her water. “What?” Brass seemed to sigh at Starlight’s disheartening comment.
“A transpony.” He stated apprehensively. “I feel like a mare. Like I should have been born as a mare.”
Starlight just stared at him. “Why?”
Brass stiffened up even more, assuming a defensive position. “I was just born that way, okay? Anyway I need your support and if I can’t get it then you should probably just leave.”
Starlight looked around her best friend’s house looking carefully at his decoration. She completely didn’t understand what he was saying to her and she’d certainly never heard of a “transpony” before.
Starlight looked back at Brass. “Are you sure you don’t just---you know---like stallions?” Brass gave a large huff of breath out his nose, producing an audible whinny of anger.
“Starlight, I think I know very well how I feel. This is who I am, alright?”
Starlight wanted to object again, but she stopped herself and instead nodded, “So what are your plans? Are you going to start wearing dresses and stuff?” she couldn't help the incredulousness in her voice.
“Well,” Brass started, “You are a unicorn, so I was thinking you could help with tha---”
“---No. I mean. I’m sorry. I can’t. I don’t…” she sighed, “I don’t understand.” Starlight got up and began to leave. “Thank you for the water, but I can’t wrap my head around this right now, Brass. Not now. Not with the problems I’m having with Stone. I need to figure out one thing at a time. I’m here for you, I am. I’m just... I’m sorry.”
I couldn't help but laugh to myself. Not because the situation at hand was funny, but because I could relate so much to it now. It was intense and brought up a lot of feelings from the other day. While I wiped away a tear, I laughed more. Even two best friends could be so apprehensive toward one another due to such a topic. I now felt even better about my close friend’s reactions and was sure that they would become even more used to the idea.
By the end of the story, Brass and Starlight made it through their brief yet intense fight. Starlight even started to call Brass “Bell”. It was a happy ending where there needed to be one.
After reading the chapter, I walked into the kitchen half-way sulking about not knowing what to do next, but still feeling better about the situation when I saw the letter I’d gotten from Post Haste this morning, unopened. I trotted over and read the address line. “Current Resident” it said. I sighed assuming it was mere junk mail as I ripped it open. Starring at me was a pamphlet: an ad for a boutique. Upon closer examination I realized it was an ad for Rarity’s clothing store. That’s when I remembered Rarity’s comment earlier that day.
“You know, you're lucky your best friend is a seamstress. You will be the best looking colt in all of Ponyville.”
I smiled at her comment now, wondering if I could really take her up on her offer. Excitedly, I quickly grabbed my coat and dashed out the door to face the sunset.
“I hope she’s still at her shop!” I thought to myself as I closed my front door.
I scampered toward Rarity’s boutique as an endless amount of thoughts rushed through my head. I felt anxiety about the situation even though Rarity had made it clear that she was there for me. I trotted on, trusting Rarity more than I was able to trust myself and my own instincts. She said she would help me, which was all I needed to know.
Ponyville passed by me at a steady pace: I saw the Cakes, Pinkie Pie outside their shop, and Applejack paying a visit to them. More faces blurred past me as I saw books and drinks and friends and laughing. I couldn’t stop and though I’d longed to say hello, I moved forward. When I eventually reached Rarity’s shop I rang twice and waited for her face at the door, “Fluttershy, darling!” Rarity said as she pulled me into a hug, “How are you? Well I hope?” she asked quickly, hardly giving me a chance to speak.
“I’m….well.” I stated, thinking hard about my answer before responding.
It was true. After opening up to the Girls about my feelings, a weight lifted off me that I didn’t even know was there before. It seemed almost as if I was so used to feeling that stress there that I’d accepted it as a natural state of mind when it didn’t have to be.
Rarity grabbed my shawl and hung it up as she ushered me into a back room of hers, “Juuust well?” she asked. She then started a pot of tea for us, but mostly for her. She sat down on the couch in the room and I took a seat next to her. “How was Soarin’s house after we left?”
I beamed with excitement, “Oh! Really good. We talked a lot…Oh, he is so friendly.” Rarity smiled as she called over Opal. Opal promptly appeared on the far end of the couch, where she laid in a fluffy bed. I continued on, “I want to see him again.” I muttered.
This caused Rarity to laugh out loud. “I bet you do, dear. A fine stallion like him…” she let out a howl and flicked her own tail, giggling.
I laughed; she knew that isn’t quite what I meant. I went on, “He is just so easy to talk to. And we have a connection that basically no one else around here has.”
Rarity nodded mindlessly as she brought over a tiny tea tray with piping hot mint tea. Sliced lemons were in a bowl next to the teapot as well as matching tea cups. She had placed everything just so and used her magic to float it over my head and on the coffee table. Rarity sat on a chair that stood next to the couch and poured us tea.
“He can really help you.” Rarity said, “This is something that is very good to talk about. And he may be able to help you figure out what you’re feeling.” I grabbed the teacup that was right in front of me, one lemon slice was floating in the tea. I nodded, sipping slowly. Rarity went on, “Though I wonder dear….” she sipped her tea as she side-eyed me curiously. My ears perked up and I gave her my attention. "Has he offered you anything in the way of clothes?" It honestly hadn’t come up, nor was that something I’d considered. I shrugged and shook my head, taking another sip.
“His clothes might not fit you correctly anyway…” Rarity had her Game Face on and I could recognize the look in her eye: she wanted to make clothes for me. She met my stare, set her teacup down, and proceeded to happily trot away to a back room.
I swished the lemon around in the teacup, the tea was level with a strip of gold paint on the inside. Soon the sound of her dainty hooves returned and she arrived with a book floating above her head; it was her sketch book. She opened it up and set it down next to the tea tray, shooing Opal off the couch.
I looked over her sketches in awe; she had sweaters, shirts, and scarves. They were in shades of pink and yellow, but really worked for the colt-ish look she was going for. I was impressed, but I didn’t cry until she turned the page and there was more. “Rarity!” I said in between gasps and tears.
She was close to me and her eyes were wide, “So you like them?” Rarity asked. I looked over at her and then quickly wrapped my arms around her, now in a full-blown sob. Her generosity knew no limits. She continued to offer getting started on some of them soon. “If you’d like?” Rarity said, “I have a few projects I’d have to set aside, but they can certainly wait.”
I smiled more, breathing a little slower now.
Rarity blinked a few times at me and rubbed her muzzle against my own. “Besides…I think you will make a handsome yellow colt…” she whispered.
I sat there and laughed a little bit, my cheeks turning increasingly red. “Oh, t-thank you.” I said to her. She smiled and nodded, then used her magic to float the book back near us. She then pointed out a shirt that she especially liked and said she was excited to get started. My head was still floating from her touching me the way she had, but I nodded after she shared her new idea anyway.
Rarity pointed to a different sweater in the levitating book and said, “This one would make you look simply magical . I think it would completely transform you.”
Rarity’s faith in clothes was always surprising me, though what her words reminded me of Soarin’s story about the magical transition he had.
“R-rarity?” I asked.
She was looking at me and closed the book in her hooves, silently, so I continued.
“Do you think Twilight would be able t-to learn…transformation magic on ponies?”
Rarity stood up and levitated the book to a new tabletop. She opened a few drawers that were in the room and gathered and display of pink and yellow fabrics. She tried a few colors together while she pondered my question. “It’s not that I doubt her aptitude,” she said after several more moments, “She would need a teacher for such specialized and powerful magic like that though. And in that case, you might as well visit the teacher on your own.” She turned to me and shrugged. “Cut out the middle-pony, if you will?”
I nodded, sipped the last of my tea, and then set the cup down on the tray. She was right. I looked up at her, meeting her eyes. She carried on, “Is that something you would want?”
I shrugged as I watched Rarity refill my teacup from the other side of the room. I looked over at her suddenly, her magic was simply awe-inspiring. She winked at me, flicked her tail, and then turned her head to attend to her colored fabrics.
Soarin mentioned a pony in Canterlot he had seen, but he also said it was “with a price”. I wondered what he considered that much to be, considering his status as a Wonderbolt. Rarity would want to help me pay, but she just told me that she would stop her projects to make me clothes that she likely wouldn’t accept money for. How would she have enough money to help me pay for such a thing?
“Well yes, but I w-would probably need to…uhm, pay them.” I said after a few swallows of tea.
Rarity flipped her hoof in the air, waving my comment off, “That can come later darling,” she said to me, continuing to mix-and-match fabrics, “For now I am concerned about which of these three you like best.” She turned around again, presenting me with three color combinations. She levitated them so that they were just above the tea set and sat down close to me. With her head on my shoulder she proceeded to tell me what she liked about each of them. Her spirit sparkled.
