Fluttershy the Transcolt

by Mintyluc

Chapter Three: Well that went...well

As I told Rarity about myself, I couldn't even look at her, and had my eyes closed. Everything I told Rarity was so true that just saying it made me cry even harder because it was the first time I'd said it out loud. I was spilling thoughts at her so fast I don't even know if she could keep up with me. I only stopped twice for breath. What I said to her was that I knew there was something wrong in my life. I didn't know what it was and I didn't want to talk to anyone about it because I never wanted too much attention on me when our friends had real, tangible problems. Because I was out all day, my only other option was to think about it in the night, the only time of day I was really alone enough to think about everything in my life. During these nights I analyzed every single aspect of how I lived up until that very point, looking for a hole. I truly enjoyed taking care of the animals, and all my friends were great. I didn't feel like I needed to be with a stallion (or mare), and I knew that not being near my family wasn't the problem.

No, this problem was more internal. It was more so focused how I felt about myself as a pony. This realization itself took weeks to find. Each night I thought about a different part of my life without any luck. My internal feelings towards myself was the last part of me I had to explore and once I did I found out that I was on the right track. Then it was up to me to wonder what it was about me that I didn't like.

Was it my hair? I could always get a new hair-do, I told her.

It took several more weeks, after carefully thinking about my style and look, to figure out that my problem wasn't something as trivial as that. I somehow seemed to be on the right track though. Some nights, I read books about stories of other ponies discovering themselves and one night in particular I was reading a book (aptly titled "The Change") about a pony that realized who she was after months of being with the wrong stallion, and that he was leading her life in the wrong (and a rather opposite) direction. I figured that the main plot didn't apply to me and wasn't my problem since I wasn't with a stallion, so there wasn't one to turn my life away from where it was supposed to go. Regardless, I kept reading this book and it soon spit out my answer. The main character had a best friend whom of which discovered himself while the protagonist was doing the same. It turns out, the stallion identified as a mare and that he was a transpony.

This idea seemed silly to me at first and I dismissed it as nothing, but consistently throughout the day I found my thoughts wondering back to this pony. Soon, I became somewhat obsessed with the idea of what my life would be like if I were a colt. I imagined all the things I would do differently and the ponies I would possibly be closer to or distant from simply because of what kind of pony I was born as. At nights, I soon started dreaming of being a big, strong stallion and at first I would wake up scared, startled from the dreams. After weeks of them though, they felt normal. The idea of being a colt then on sounded really nice to me. At first I figured it was a phase, but this was several months ago, and by now there was no denying the truth that I was a transpony.

This final conclusion was probably the scariest one I could come to because it meant in order for me to be truly happy I would have to almost completely change who I am...or at least how I look and how people address me. I had no idea how my friends would react to this change and my inevitable request to be called a different name. As this became the theme of my thoughts, I became surer each day that my friends would reject me.

Rarity would simply reject the idea and only be determined to make me even more feminine, dressing me up in new clothes and hair styles and make-up, trying to get me dates with stallions. She would simply be convinced that all I needed was to be shown how to be a popper mare, going completely against all my wishes.

Rainbow Dash would freak out the most vocally, flying across Ponyville telling everyone to stay away from me because I was such a creep. She would write in the clouds about how deranged I was. Soon the whole town would know thanks to her.

Pinkie Pie would simply laugh at me, thinking I was playing a joke. After a few days she would simply laugh at me for wanting such a thing, wondering what the heck was going on in my head. Everywhere in town I would go, she'd be laughing at me and thanks to her, others would join in as well.

Applejack would simply not understand and take forever to completely know what it meant to be a transpony. Once she did, she would know that no normal pony would ever want to be a different gender and she would consider me a freak, leaving my life forever from refusal to associate herself with such a pony.

Twilight would think I'd been cursed, or that there was a logical explanation for my thoughts. She'd probably hide herself away in her library looking in her books for the answer. After Twilight wasn't able to find an answer, she'd ask Princess Celestia and even the Princess would know what I thought of myself.

And who knows what the Princess would do with me...

All of this information and these experiences and fears came spitting out of me at once and I wasn't all that sure that it was exactly coherent for Rarity.

After a while of mumbling about my past year of self-discovery, I trailed off my speaking and slowly opened my eyes. I stopped talking completely then, taking a few gasps of breath and wiping away my tears from the raw emotion of everything going on. Then I looked down at my hooves awaiting Rarity's rejection. When she didn't speak, I looked over at her and was surprised not to see an angry or a disgusted face.

The white mare's expression was sort of...blank. She was just looking at me, eyes wide open, mouth ajar. I wasn't able to tell what she was thinking like I normally was.

"Uhm...R-rarity...?" I asked, whispering. She didn't move. "Uhm...can you s-say something...please? I don't want you t-to....hate...me...." I dropped my head thinking that she probably did already and muttered to myself, "I'll go get you some more tea." I brought her cup into the kitchen and as I poured another cup, tears cascaded down from my eyes. It was true; my worst fears were coming alive. It wouldn't be before long until the Princess had her hooves on me, probably banishing me from all of Equestria, or locking me up somewhere. As I solemnly trotted back into my living room, Rarity turned to face me. By the time I set the tea cup down, her expression was starting to fade.

"Fluttershy..." Rarity said quietly. She seemed to be thinking hard, trying to word herself carefully. She slowly sipped her tea, pondering who-knows-what. "Fluttershy...I...don't understand." I sighed. Here we go...

"W-well, do you know what a transpony is?" After saying 'transpony' the first time, it was easier to get out and use in a sentence.

Rarity smiled slightly and nodded, "Yes, of course. What I mean is I don't understand how you could think such thoughts of your best friends or why you haven't talked to us about any of this!" she exclaimed She seemed hurt and a little offended, but certainly not like she was going to pull me into her shop and take measurements. I sat there quietly for a moment. "Fluttershy, we're your best friends. And you've been thinking about this for months, and never said a thing about it?"

I nodded slowly. "I-I....I was scared, Rarity." That sentence pretty much summed up my entire past few months worth of thoughts. But she wasn't reacting the way I feared she would, so perhaps the others wouldn't either. Of course, it was too soon to tell.

"Darling. It's okay if you want to be a stallion. That's the way you were born. You can't change that." Rarity stated. What she said was perfectly true, but it was a thought that had never crossed my mind. The only words that described my identification thus far were words like "wrong" and "disgusting". Rarity was showing me the utmost kindness though, and it was overwhelming since I had not prepared myself for it, but a different reaction entirely. I wasn't sure how to accept that she was so accepting, as odd as it sounded.

I looked up around my house, in such disbelief. I was probably dreaming. Slowly I lifted up my foreleg and bit it. Hard, hoping it'd wake me from a dream. Then I blinked a few times and was still in the exact same spot. I certainly wasn't dreaming, although Rarity was now giving me that disgusted look I was expecting all along, but only from me biting myself.

"I just...I really thought you were going to hate me."

Rarity smiled. "That's the magic of friendship. It defies all else and is there to the very end. Just like I will be for you. Come now, let’s find the other mares."

My eyes widened. "W-why Rarity?" I asked quickly. Rarity shrugged and told me that we might as well tell the rest of them since they'll find out eventually. I objected, but she assured me that they wouldn't react the way they did in my nightmares.

I suppose Rarity was right, that my friends were truly friends of mine. After all, could the elements of Loyalty, Honesty, Magic, and Laughter really reject one of their most treasured friends? My thoughts still fought against me, but I had to force them away. I'd already told Rarity and nothing but good had come from it. I was still scared to tell the others about this change, but I'd rather it happened now as opposed to later, after I spent hours or days worrying about it. I had already done enough of that to myself.

Rarity and I made our ways across town in search of Rainbow Dash. Rarity said she knew where the cyan mare would be and so I followed her along town. Before long, I realized we were trotting along to the outskirts of town, near the Everfree Forest. Rarity stopped walking as she saw Rainbow Dash soaring high in the sky.

I stopped walking just behind her and Rarity whispered to me, "You know, you're lucky your best friend is a seamstress. You will be the best looking colt in all of Ponyville." she stated egotistically. I just gulped, knowing Rainbow Dash hadn't heard, but still worried she had at the same time. As Rarity called up to Rainbow Dash, my fears were getting to me again. She was going to tell everypony, that was for sure. She would have me run out of town without a chance to even gather my things. I knew by telling her that my departure for Ponyville was imminent.

I quickly wondered to myself why I hadn't packed before we left to find Rainbow Dash.

As the rainbow pony floated down to the grass, she smiled at us both. "Hey Rarity, 'sup Fluttershy. What brings you guys here?" She walked up to us, lowering her wings slowly back into their usual spots on her body. She yawned and smiled, readily awaiting what we had to say. Rarity looked around and seeing that no one was around, she told Rainbow Dash to sit down.

"Fluttershy has something serious to tell you." Rarity stated simply. She was going to leave the rest to me. Rainbow Dash dropped her flank to the ground and smiled.

"What's the matter Fluttershy?" she asked. I gulped a second time as I took a breath and started to speak....

Comments

[Frizzy]

Wouldn't it make more sense to get all 4 of them together, then tell them? That way everypony gets up to speed at the same time.

[Miki]

Glad to see Rarity in support of her friend, but either she took a while to process Fluttershy's release or there is something else going on it Rarity's head. Color me intrigued.

[Avatar of Shadow]

Very interesting....

I''l favorite this to see where it's going.

[Mintyluc]

1420482 while that is a good idea, I have a plan. Dont worry, I did this on purpose

1420871 Im glad someone saw it that way! Catching on.....

1421277 thank you! I hope to see more comments in the future to make sure I dont disapoint.

1421869 thank you so much, Im glad you like it

[Kolwynia]

Going well so far! I smiled when Fluttershy thought Rainbow Dash would write in the clouds how deranged she was. Tried to picture Rainbow Dash doing that...but the only way I could imagine it was as absurd comedy. It will be interesting to see how she really does react, though.

[Mintyluc]

1422153 Im most excited about writing about Rainbow Dash's reaction, which is why she was first to be quite honest. Plus her reaction will influence the other mare's reactions slightly.

[CyborgPony]

Wow, Rarity, you are both an awesome friend and an unwitting reckless jerk at the same time. So accepting but then pushing poor Fluttershy to tell everyone right away (not a good thing to do, especially considering that there are real consequences to negative reactions). She has to know that Fluttershy has a hard time putting her hoof down and saying no, especially to Rarity. I guess this kind of goes with Rarity being gossipy (you know, I am actually having a hard time figuring out whether her gossipiness is canon or fanon - doesn't matter - just makes Rarity more interesting)

[Machara]

I like your story.
It is nicely written, feels consistent, word choice is good and typos are minimal (or non-existent?)

I applaud you for tackling such a difficult yet interesting topic, even though it does feel it could have auto-biographic elements. The way it is written reflects what I think a typical transgender person feels like, and thus is accurate.
I am sure some other people attached to mlp are trans and more are at least curious about this topic, judging by the many gender transformation stories out there of which I've been an extremely avid reader the last few weeks which has led me to allow acknoledging to myself I am transgender too - funny how life goes sometimes, hu?

I'll be reading on - maybe I'll have further comments.

[Saomaster1450]

3699556
I have literally no idea why someone disliked this comment.