• Published 11th Jul 2023
  • 1,307 Views, 47 Comments

Operation Applestar - Andrew Joshua Talon



Twilight's friends try to matchmake for her to help her handle stress better. They hook her up with Big Macintosh. This won't lead to any problems, will it?

  • ...
8
 47
 1,307

The Stage is Set


Twilight giggled softly, beaming over at Big Mac across the table. It was now covered in books, sheets of paper, and notebooks aplenty.

"Really? I had no idea that you published an article in Plow!" She said eagerly, holding up a volume of the publication in question. "Under an alias?"

Big Mac shook his head.

"Granny insisted ah publish mah findings," he said, "ah really didn't want the attention but... Well... She said it would help a lot of ponies out."

"Tracking these rates of infection by globber worms is fascinating," Twilight breathed, looking over the numbers hungrily, "you documented every attempt you made to deal with them so thoroughly!"

"They've been a plague on our Apples since Granny settled here," Big Macintosh explained, blushing a bit, "turns out that soil rotation was the key factor. The purple mushroom, forgot the scientific name-"

"Cortinarius violaceus," Twilight supplied, "Zecora uses them in her potions all the time. I had no idea they were mycorrhizal!"

"I don't know how it all works, mah cousin Appleseed did most of the research citations and such," Big Mac said, looking down at his hooves like they were very interesting all of a sudden, "but the records from my pa and grandpappy were very thorough. And anywhere the purple mushrooms weren't removed, the globber worms didn't infest the trees. They seemed to help the trees resist the globber worms, gettin' water n' nutrients from the trees in exchange for helpin' defend them from infestation. Pretty simple."

"Don't be so modest!" Twilight insisted with a grin, "this is fantastic!"

She looked Big Macintosh over a bit more thoroughly. He had always been big, certainly, and handsome-Twilight wasn't blind. But his shy smile just made him seem so much... More.

"Well, thank you kindly, Miss Sparkle," Big Mac said with a small smile, "ah appreciate it."

"Y-Yeah! Trust me, it's always nice to have your work appreciated," Twilight replied, blushing and looking down. "Uh... Um... S-So... Uh..."

She tapped her hooves together. Big Mac waited in silence.

"Um..." Twilight tried again. "H-Hey! How about I get us some plates so we can eat your pie? I-I mean the pie you brought?"

Big Macintosh nodded.

"Eeyup. Can ah help-?"

"N-N-No! No! It's fine, I've got it!" Twilight said hurriedly, lifting the apple pie with her telekinesis and hurrying off into the kitchen.

Much to her relief, Rarity and Rainbow Dash were still there. Much to her confusion, Rarity was posing like a casual fashion model in a catalogue in one of the kitchen table chairs, while Dash had apparently landed hard on her back and was reading a Daring Do book... Upside down.

"Oh I'm so sorry, I lost track of time-" Twilight began, but Rarity waved her hoof dismissively.

"Nonsense, darling! Rainbow Dash, would you please keep Big Mac occupied?"

"Huh? Oh, sure," Dash said, zipping off into the library. Twilight looked anxiously at Rarity, who was smiling.

"So, how's it going?" Rarity asked innocently.

"Uh, um, gr-great!" Twilight said, beaming, "but um... I just..."

"Yesss...?" Rarity prompted, leaning closer.

Twilight wilted.

"I... How do I ask him out? I mean, wh-what would we do? Where would we go? How much should we pack? What kind of apples does he like? Or wait, would he be expecting apples? Wait, of course he would be-!"

"Twilight," Rarity insisted, resting her hooves on the nearly hyperventilating Twilight's shoulders, "breathe. Calm down. Relax. It's just a date."

Twilight nodded furiously.

"R-Right! Right! A date!"

"It's clear you both like one another," Rarity said with a smile. Twilight frowned.

"Wait, were you spying on me-?"

"Observing you, darling, nothing nefarious!" Rarity said quickly, "besides, we're here to help, right? Can't very help if we don't know what's going on, can we?"

"I-I suppose not," Twilight nodded, "so, um... What do I do?"

"Just ask him out," Rarity said with a smile, "simple and straightforward. We can even practice here before you try, would that help?"

"Yes, yes it would," Twilight agreed.

"All right... You're going to ask him out," Rarity coached, "and you say...?"

Twilight beamed.

"H-Hello, Big Macintosh! Uh, I find you mentally and physically attractive. Would you like to go socialize with me with the possibility of sexual intercourse later?"

Rarity stared. She slowly lifted her forelimb up, and rubbed the bridge of her snout with a wince.

"Too much?" Twilight asked.

Rarity sighed. Twilight cleared her throat.

"Um, okay, review, revize, reapply... Um, Big Mac, would you like to engage in sexual intercourse with me, with the possibility of socializing at a later date?"

"Sweet Celestia, no, Twilight! Socialization first! If you just want sex without obligations, you should have let Caramel woo you!"


Ugh. Rarity and her scheming! It took so long and was so boring!

If these two were going to get together, action had to be taken! Aggressive action!

It had always worked for Rainbow Dash!

... Well it had mostly worked for her.

At least 50 percent of the time.

Which was still pretty good!

With that in mind, Dash flew up to Big Macintosh as he tried to look like he wasn't hurriedly putting away his notebooks and data sheets and whatnot. She hovered right next to him, and crossed her forelimbs in front of her chest.

"Big Mac? We've been friends for a while, right?"

"Eeyup," Macintosh agreed, discretely trying to cover up some graph of apple seed sizes.

Dash nodded.

"Okay good. Then you'd say we know eachother pretty well, right?"

"Eeyup."

"So when I tell you I see something, you'll listen, right?"

"Eeyup."

Dash looked up at the ceiling innocently.

"Like say... That you had a crush on a certain egghead?"

"Ee-" Big Mac nearly choked in his shock, his green eyes going very wide. He looked up at Dash, who was hovering smugly.

"Ah, no, it-it ain't like that-!"

"Pfft," Dash scoffed, "come on, Big Mac! Again, how long have we known eachother?"

It was hard to tell through his red fur, but Big Mac definitely blushed. And hard. Dash's smug grin grew wider.

"Hey, relax! I'm actually glad! I mean, a stand up stallion like you won't try anything bad with my best friend... Right?"

Her eyes narrowed. Big Mac stared back evenly, not even a little intimidated. Dash liked that.

"Nope."

"So... Why not ask her out, huh?" Dash pressed. Big Mac coughed and looked aside.

"Ah... Nope."

"Why not?" Dash asked. Big Mac shook his head.

"Ah jest broke up with Cheerilee-"

"Which means it's the perfect time to get back out there!" Dash enthused. Big Mac winced.

"She's... The princess's apprentice-"

"And? So? She's still a mare. That you like," Dash stated firmly, "she's not gonna send you to the moon if you ask her out!"

Big Mac's eyes widened a bit more. Dash quickly threw her hooves up.

"Okay, okay, sorry, she probably won't-"

His eyes went even wider. Dash groaned.

"Oh come on! Listen, Big Mac... You like her, right?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"So do something about it," Dash stated, "I mean, Caramel tried to ask her out!"

Big Mac's eyes narrowed.

"Oh?" He asked, his deep voice grinding a bit more. Dash nodded.

"Uh huh. Now she didn't notice it... But she's not gonna remain ignorant forever. You really want to let a chance like this pass you by?"

Big Mac looked down.

"Jest... Happening a little fast-"

"Life happens fast, get over it," Dash stated matter of factly. "I mean, what are you really afraid of?"

Big Mac was silent for a time, chewing on his ever present stalk of grass in his mouth.

Finally, he spoke.

"I jest... Don't want to hurt her. Or get hurt. If yer wrong."

Dash looked deeply unimpressed. She was going to lay into Big Mac some more... When she hit upon an idea. As though a lightbulb lit up over her head. She grinned slyly.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Dash said, "I know the perfect way to ask her out! She won't say no! It's foalproof!"

Big Mac looked at Dash skeptically. The rainbow pegasus grinned.

"I've used it myself and it worked every time! Every mare I tried it on, went out with me!"

Big Macintosh's eyebrow went up.

"Eeyup-?"

"And stallions!" Dash said quickly. "Uh, I mean, I like stallions! But I also kind of like mares! But not like that, ya know?"

"..."

"I-I mean, I'm not a fillyfooler! I want a stallion and to get married and have foals and all that!" Dash continued quickly, her cheeks turning red, "but I wouldn't mind a co-wife! Just-Just to make things interesting!"

Big Mac's mouth dropped open.

"Like, maybe your sister-If she was into it! Maybe! Just a thought!" Dash continued to babble.

Big Mac continued to stare. Dash scowled.

"Listen: You do exactly what I tell you to do... And we just forget I said anything about this, okay?"

"... Eeyup."


Twilight took several deep breaths. She focused, the brushes running through her mane helping to calm her down even more.

"All right," Twilight said with a smile, as Rarity pulled back her various tools of beauty, "I'm ready!"

"All right... Once more, you're going to...?" Rarity prompted. Twilight stood at attention, as though she was giving another lecture back at Magic School.

"Go out there. Coyly wave my tail. Throw back my head to let my mane wave in the breeze," Twilight recited, "then smile seductively..."

"And then...?"

"Say..." And here Twilight's voice dipped into a more seductive timbre, "Hey. Big Mac. You wanna take me out some time?"

Rarity clopped happily.

"Bravo! Bravo! Maybe a little too deep on your voice, but I think he'll like it."

Twilight blushed.

"Aw, you think so? I-I mean, I've never done any acting-"

"Most of acting is in acting like you know what you're doing, even when you don't," Rarity stated, "along with acting confident. If you act like it, you will be!"

Rarity smiled warmly.

"Now! Go out there, mare, and show your stuff!"

Twilight nodded firmly.

"Right!"

Twilight checked her reflection one last time in the mirror over the kitchen sink. Her hair was smooth, glossy, and almost shined. Her coat was the same. A touch of make up emphasized her eyes, and she blushed happily. She turned and grinned over at Rarity.

"Okay! I'm ready... I'm ready...!"

Twilight trotted out, back into the library's main floor... Only for her confident strut to be interrupted. Big Macintosh stood there, tall and almost ominous. He looked very serious.

"Ah... Uh... B-Big Macintosh!" Twilight tried, "I was just about to see you! I'm sorry I took so long..."

Big Macintosh took a deep breath, and snorted through his nostrils. He trotted up to her with slow, deliberate strides. Twilight found herself backing up, unconsciously, and she almost squeaked when her plot hit the wall.

Big Macintosh loomed over her, and she got a good sniff of him.

He smelled... So male. Of soil, hard work, grass and trees and... Stallion. She flared her nostrils, her instincts compelling her to take in as much as she could.

She felt so very small and vulnerable...

And surprisingly... She liked it.

BAM!

"Eep!" She quietly squeaked, as Big Macintosh slammed his right hoof into the wall right over her. Her heart pounded faster than the time she had almost been late delivering her report in Advanced Enchanting. She trembled.

Twilight stared up in astonishment as the big stallion finally spoke.

"Twilight. Ah wanna date you."

Date you. Date you. Date you.

Twilight nodded slowly.

"O-Okay..." She squeaked.

Big Macintosh twitched slightly, looking like he couldn't believe it. But just as quickly, his face became stoic again, and he nodded.

"Gustav's. Tomorrow at 7?"

"That... That works great," Twilight managed, "I'll shift my schedule around."

Big Macintosh nodded again.

"Good... Well..."

He cleared his throat, and backed away slowly.

"... See you then," he said.

"W-Works for me," Twilight stuttered, bright red.

Big Mac nodded, turned, and trotted out the doors, his saddlebags full of his books and datasheets. Rainbow Dash looked up from the Daring Do book she had been pretending to be reading from, and grinned.

"Well, how about that?" Dash said. "You've got a date!"

"A-A-A d-d-date?!" Twilight managed. Her eyes widened... She squealed and jumped for joy.

"YES YES YES YES YES-I-I've gotta write Princess Celestia right now!"

She teleported off in a flash of purple energy, leaving a disbelieving Rarity staring at the smug Rainbow Dash.

"You... How...?"

"Pfft. You act like I don't have any social intelligence!" Dash laughed.

"Well... Usually because you don't," Rarity pointed out.

Rainbow Dash's smirk grew.

"Anyway, I got Big Mac to ask her out, didn't I? She said yes, right? I owe him a hoofbump, that was classic wall slamming!"

"'Wall slamming'?" Rarity asked, raising an elegant eyebrow, "isn't that a common cliche in those Neighponese romance comics Fluttershy is always reading?"

Rainbow Dash blushed heavily, and coughed.

"Uh... Um... Well... Ya know... It's based on a real thing... And it worked, right? That's the important thing!"

Rarity nodded.

"Yes it did! I'm quite impressed, Rainbow Dash!"

She gave the athletic pegasus a sly smile.

"Perhaps you and I should collaborate on more matchmaking attempts in the future, hm?"

"No thanks," Dash snorted, "besides! We're not even done with this one yet!"

"That's true," Rarity nodded, "we must see this through to the end. Come! Let's report our success to the others!"

"Right!" Dash cried, as both headed out the door.


Unbeknownst to either Rainbow Dash or Rarity, three little fillies had been watching the entire scene from start to finish via the windows into the library. And these three fillies soon commiserated together.

"Ah cain't believe they're trying to hook up Big Macintosh with Twilight!" Applebloom cried.

"Well, that whole thing with him and Cheerilee didn't go very well," Sweetie Belle pointed out.

"Yeah, but they said we were 'immature' and 'reckless' when we did it!" Scootaloo pouted.

"We did use a love potion-" Applebloom pointed out, but Scootaloo shook her head.

"Beside the point! They're doing it, when they told us we shouldn't do it! That's not fair!"

"So, what should we do?" Sweetie Belle asked, cocking her head curiously. Scootaloo grinned.

"Simple! We'll make sure they have the most romantic date ever... Even better than your big sister and Rainbow Dash!"

"But Scootaloo, considerin' how things went last time-" Applebloom tried, but Scootaloo scoffed.

"Come on! We're not using a love potion, and they've done most of the work for us! We'll show them! Come on fillies! We can't just let them show us up like this!"

She grinned slyly.

"Besides... If we pull this off... Imagine the Cutie Marks we might get!"

"Oooh," the other two fillies said. They nodded.

"I'm in!"

"Let's do it!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS-AWAY!"


It was good that Big Macintosh's coat was red. Otherwise, everypony would be able to tell he had been blushing from the moment he had left Golden Oaks Library.

She said yes. She said yes. She said yes...!

"Hey Big Mac! How'd it go?"

He looked up as he trotted through the gate. Applejack and Granny Smith were waiting on the farmhouse porch. Granny rocked back and forth in her rocking chair, doing some knitting. Applejack was sipping some ice cold juice as she relaxed in the shade.

"Fine," he said.

Granny Smith gave him a shrewd look, like she could look right through him.

"Oh? Jest fine?"

Big Mac cleared his throat, and looked to the side.

"Ain't a big deal... Goin' on a date with Miss Sparkle tomorrow."

He had hoped his nonchalant delivery would prevent any prying. The last thing he needed was his relatives getting involved or teasing him or-

"Sounds good!" Applejack said with a smile and a nod.

Granny nodded as well, still knitting. She gave him a smile.

"Glad to hear it," Granny said. "Where ya goin?"

"Uh... Gustav's," Big Mac said, taken aback, "ah've been saving mah bits fer-"

"Oh nonsense, take some out of petty coin!" Granny said cheerfully. "You deserve some fun, and Miss Sparkle don't deserve a cheap date!"

Big Mac nodded.

"Ah... Thank you Granny!"

"Don't mention it," Granny said, "now, you'd better get on in. Dinner's almost ready! Set the table!"

"Yes Granny," Big Mac said automatically, though he threw a suspicious look over at Applejack. His younger sister wasn't meeting his gaze and was just smiling. It was... Strange.

Still, he could sort out the mysteries of mares later. Like when he'd figured out something easier to unravel, like turning apples to oranges.


Granny and Applejack watched Big Mac trot on in. When he was inside the house and out of sight, Granny lifted her hoof. Applejack bumped her own hoof into her grandmother's, as both grinned.

"Dang Granny, you are slick!" Applejack chuckled.

"Comes with experience, dearie," Granny explained.

"Ah can't wait to see their date go! Ah'll make sure it'll be perfect down to-"

"What in tarnation are you blatherin' about?" Granny demanded. Applejack gulped.

"Uh, Granny? But we want it to go well-"

"It ain't gonna go at all if you and yer friends are constantly interferin'!" Granny scoffed, "that ain't how it works! Ya cain't force love!"

"But ah wanna make sure it goes over well-" Applejack protested. Granny shook her head again.

"Ah get that, but if you meddle too much, yer jest askin' fer disaster! You gotta let things go naturally!"

Applejack sagged a bit.

"Sorry Granny."

"That said... Ain't nothin' wrong with keepin' an eye on 'em, jest to make sure they're doing okay... And fer gossip later," Granny said conspiratorially.

Applejack flushed deeply.

"Granny!"

"Ah ain't wrong, am ah?"

"Ah... Ah reckon not."

Granny grinned.

"Good!"


Back in Golden Oaks, Spike was performing his usual duty of transcribing Twilight's words into a letter to Princess Celestia. Usually, he liked this job. Or at least, didn't complain too much about it.

In this case though...

"Twilight, seriously," Spike groaned, "this is the fifth revision!"

"I've got to do this right, Spike!" Twilight insisted, still swooning.

"'Dear Princess Celestia. I have a date with a stallion. Love, Twilight'," Spike deadpanned, "that's all you need!"

"It is not all I need!" Twilight hissed, "I need to tell her so much more-!"

"Then do it after the date," Spike emphasized, "it's late, I wanna go to bed!"

Twilight paused, and then looked out the window. She checked the nearby clock, and winced.

"Oh... Um... Sorry," she murmured.

Spike sighed.

"It's fine... Look, how about I just send her a quick message? Dinner's all set in the fridge. I'll send it, you start eating."

"I don't want to eat without you!" Twilight said. Spike smiled and shook his head.

"It's all right. It won't take long, promise," he said.

Twilight nodded.

"Well, if you're sure Spike," she said. Spike nodded.

"I'm very sure. Besides... You need your rest for your daaate," he teased.

Twilight flushed heavily.

"I-It-I don't need that much-I don't-!"

"They say Big Mac can wear a mare out, after all," Spike chuckled. Twilight's face burned bright red.

"SP-SPIKE! Where did you hear such a-a foul, unsubstantiated rumor?!"

"Rarity," Spike answered. Twilight flushed.

"I... Well I guess that tracks," she muttered. She shook her head. "Anyway! You send off the letter, I'll see you soon!"

"Right, right," Spike said, waving her off. She trotted into the kitchen. Spike quickly jotted down the note, and breathed green flames to send the note off to Princess Celestia.

He then began writing another note, very quickly, and then sent it off with green flames too. He chuckled.

"Finally... Something to report."


In Canterlot, a pink alicorn was studying a wall decorated with hundreds of photos and notes. These notes and photos were linked with variously colored strings-Pink, blue, red, green, and other hues. It formed a gigantic web of ponies, and the pink alicorn studied it with the intensity of a laser beam.

"Hmmm... But if I place Nightwing with the Guard, will that make Silent Echo make a move?" She mused aloud.

A green flame burst behind her, over a table. She spun around, and saw a note drift to the table top. She picked it up with her telekinesis and opened it. She read through... And smiled.

"At last!" She turned to her massive wall. She found a photo of Twilight Sparkle, and seized a length of pink string. With great ceremony, she stuck a pin through the string, and pinned it to the photo. She then maneuvered the string over to a photo of Big Macintosh from the Ponyville Gazette, and with similar solemnity, pinned the other end of the string to it. Her horn lit up, and magical words formed over the string:

FIRST DATE.

"Hahahaha... Hahahahaha... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The pink alicorn cackled, as lightning flashed and thunder boomed behind her.

"Cadance!" Whined a male voice elsewhere in the room. "Seriously, are we going to do this or what?"

Cadance coughed, and blushed. She looked over at her coltfriend, currently tied up in a chair.

"Sorry Shining. Inspiration struck and you know how that can go," she apologized.

Shining Armor frowned.

"What's that picture of my sister for anyway-?"

"Do you want to ask questions, or do you want the Evil Professor Lotta Quim to begin her sensuous torture of Agent Double O'Horseshoe?"

A short pause.

"... You'll never make me talk, Professor Quim!"

"That's what I thought!"


Celestia trotted slowly into the living room of Twilight Velvet and Night Light. The two unicorns stared intently at their princess, Twilight Velvet deeply worried and covering her mouth with her hooves.

"Princess? Is everything all right?" Night Light asked urgently.

"Is Twilight okay?" Velvet inquired, fearfully.

Celestia smiled gently.

"It is all right, Velvet, Night Light," she said soothingly, "I bring news of your daughter: Good news!

The two parents sagged in relief. Celestia flushed.

"Oh my... I suppose me dropping in like this and just telling you I wanted to talk about your daughter was a very poor way to start this-I deeply apologize-!"

"Nonono, it's all right, it's all right!" Velvet insisted, waving her hooves around. "I'm just glad to know it's good news! So... Uh... What is the news?"

Celestia beamed.

"You'll be pleased to know that your daughter... Is going on her very first date!"

The two unicorns leaned in.

"With... A stallion?" Night Light coughed. "I-I mean, we'd be fine if she went with a mare-"

"Nothing wrong with that!" Velvet insisted.

"Yes, with a stallion, and a very fine one, too," Celestia said cheerfully. "He's a Lord of a minor noble farming house in Ponyville. Not the direct heir, that would be his younger sister, since she actually went to charm school."

"Who? Do we know him?" Night Light asked.

"Unlikely," Celestia said, "though he did publish a paper on apple agriculture statistics in a local journal."

She presented said journal to Night Light and Twilight Velvet. They read through the article.

"You know... He's quite erudite, if uh... Concise," Velvet observed.

"And he's a very good stallion," Celestia said with a smile.

"Now now, let's not get carried away here," Night Light stated, "it's just one date. With a stallion she barely knows, who is published in a scientific paper."

"And is quite handsome and kind, too," Celestia said.

Twilight Velvet grinned and leaped off the couch.

"I'll start planning the wedding!"

Night Light got off the couch next, also grinning.

"I'll tell Shining he can take it easy-No need to give us grandfoals just yet!"

Celestia just chuckled.

Ah, my wonderful, amusing subjects...

Author's Note:

The stage is set!