The talk
Seeing them getting along so well hurt more than I would ever be able to express. Watching the two of them felt like a knife was gradually being plunged directly into my heart. I should've been happy for them. I should've been happy for us, but all I could feel crawling through my veins was the burning fire of jealousy.
I couldn't stay there, not with them, not with that look on Twilight's face. So I left. Like the jealous, unhappy coward I was, I lied to them and then ran away. Now I sat by myself, wallowing in my own pathetic irrational fears.
What if Starlight likes her? What if she likes Starlight? What if I missed my chance?
Thank Celestia I"d stumbled on this room all those years ago. The Castle was a very convoluted building to navigate, so there were bound to be a few areas less frequented by the inhabitants. The room I currently sat in was even more hidden away than any other in the castle, at least that I was aware of.
Around two years ago, when I was still getting accomodated to living in the castle, I'd gotten into a particularly bad fight with Twilight. I can't even really remember what stupid little thing started the whole debacle, but at some point, we came to blows. She'd made some snide remark about being able to take me down without using magic and I said something I shouldn't have about her mentor.
Bear in mind, it had happened waaaay before I knew about Twilight's more... impassioned tendencies. She did have a nasty right hook, particularly when it was thrown while I wasn't looking, but if there was one thing I was confident in about myself, it was my body.
She ended up a bloody mess on the ground and I didn't know what to do about it. At the time, I was pretty sure Luna was gonna kill me, so in a panic, I ran. Not paying attention to where I was going, I ended up slamming into a bookshelf I hadn't noticed. The impact knocked me to the ground and when I reached up to stand, I accidently grabbed one of the books. I found pulling that particular book triggered an opening in the wall that led to a hidden room.
The small space was completely unremarkable, save for a simple carpet and a single lush couch. Nopony found me for hours, so I was eventually forced to leave my hiding place. Strangely enough, there were no repercussions from Celestia or Luna.
At the time, I wasn't very familiar with either sister, so I thought I'd gotten away with everything. Knowing what I do now, I was certain they'd let me and Twilight handle it. After a few days, I was able to face my rival and apologized for my actions.
While she was still angry with me, she did admit that I bested her in a hoof fight. I think that fact pissed her off more than the actual beating, the defeat. She apologized for looking down on me. Of course, seconds later she shouted that the apology only applied to hoof to hoof fights, and in every other area she was still superior, but still.
That might've been when I first started liking her. Even though she was embarrassed and wanted nothing to do with me, she swallowed her pride and was honest with me.
We were able to come to something of an understanding after that. She promised not to talk as much crap about me and I promised I wouldn't say another negative thing about Luna.
Since the day of the fight, I had gained the use of what I called my "Escape room". Whenever I felt overwhelmed or if I just had to get away from it all, I'd come here. It was...soothing, knowing I had my solitude... Knowing I wouldn't be bothered.
But right now, all I could feel was envy. I groaned, covering my eyes with my hooves.
It's so unfair. They barely even know each other for crying out loud!
I'd known Twilight for years now and she was all over Starlight like they were... like they were...
It's not FAIR!
As my horn surged with energy, I unintentionally launched a blast of mana at the wall. When no explosion or any other sound came, I moved my hooves away from my face. For some strange reason the projectile was floating in mid-air, suspended by a golden aura. After a couple seconds, it flickered out of reality in a burst of light.
"Forgive me for intruding," I jumped off the sofa and whirled around to find my mentor standing in the room with me. "but I really don't think you should be alone right now."
"Y-Your Highness!?" I was too stunned to do anything other than stare at her with wide eyes.
How did she find me?
I guess that was a pretty stupid question. It was her, after all. I was certain she could find anypony in seconds, if not instantly, if she really wanted to.
"Please, Sunset... just Celestia?" The authoritative air she usually carried herself with was nowhere to be found, only a slightly pleading look and an awkward smile on her face.
"S-sure... Celestia," I brushed some of the hair that'd fallen into my face away with a hoof. I really wasn't expecting her to come here and I REALLY wasn't expecting such an informal demeanor from her.
"Thank you," her smile brightened a little as she looked around the room. A faintly detectable expression of familiarity spread across her features as she took in her surroundings. "My old reading room, I'm glad it could find some use once I stopped coming here," she smiled, looking down at the couch before sweeping a hoof over it adoringly.
"This was... your room?" I had to inspect the room around me again at finding out that information.
"Is it so difficult to believe?" she tilted her head. "Everypony needs their privacy from time to time. Even Luna has her own place of solitude. I used to come in here all the time. Ah, but that was centuries ago." The slight lowering of her eyebrows and the corners of her mouth was more than a little depressing. Regardless of that, I still couldn't believe it.
"Really? You're serious?" I looked around again. She could've done so much more in here. Spruced the place up a bit and brought in a plant or something. It was small, but it wasn't that small.
"That's why the device for getting in here is a bookshelf," she pointed a hoof toward the wall. "Some of my favorite books are still on that shelf out there. When life became too... hectic, I'd grab a book, come lie down in here, and read for hours on end," she giggled again, something she seemed to be getting more comfortable doing around me. "You should've seen the looks my assistants would give me when I showed up again." The memory entertained her so much, she had to muffle her laughter with a hoof.
"But it's... it's so... basic," I tried not to sound obnoxious, but it was hard not to when you were questioning somepony because of their lack of style. Thankfully, she was still laughing so she hadn't really taken my comment to heart. Once her fit died down, she let out a long satisfied sigh.
"Sometimes, basic is all anypony really needs, Sunset. Even a Princess." She moved in front of the couch. "Do you mind?"
"Of course not," I shook my head quickly. "It is yours."
"Wonderful!" she beamed as she reclined on her belly on the sofa. Her smile grew as she got comfortable. "Just as pleasant as I remember. Now," she looked at me expectantly. "I know you only come in here for reasons similar to my own... do you want to talk about it?"
"Wait, you-" my surprise instantly died down when I thought about who I was talking to.
Of course she knows.
With a defeated sigh, I took a seat on the carpet. "Honestly... I'm not really sure if I do."
It was equal parts embarrassing and pathetic. What was I supposed to tell her? Yeah, so anyway, I'm hardcore crushing on Twilight and I'm super jealous of Starlight cause they're getting along. I'd rather die than let her of all ponies know that.
"I see," her horn glowed for a second as she scooted me closer to herself. "You don't have to be embarrassed to tell me about anything, Sunset," she lifted a hoof up to my face and wiped away...a tear?
Crap...
"Try not to think of me as your teacher right now. Try to view me as a... concerned friend," she lowered her hoof. Normally she'd have given me a speech about the hardships of life and told me how everything was going to be okay.
I guess she actually is dedicated to the whole getting closer thing.
With another defeated sigh, I wiped my face with a foreleg and spoke.
"Twilight and Starlight are getting along really well," I tried to keep it vague, not really sure how else to start this unwanted conversation. Maybe slowly lowering myself into the pool would be a lot easier than diving in head first.
"Well, that's good... isn't it?" she asked. While her words may have been expressed like a genuine question, it also kind of seemed like she already knew what I'd reply.
"It's... complicated." I awkwardly scratched my mane with a hoof. "I don't really know where to start." I'd never been a big fan of discussing my personal feelings, especially those on the subject of my love life.
"Well... how about starting with what happened to bring you here today?" she suggested.
"I..." I sighed. "I suppose I could, but..."
"Starlight was looking for you," she gave me a half smile. "She said she was sorry."
"She did?" That was more than a little surprising and so, had caught me off guard. She hadn't even done anything wrong. It was all my fault. Me and my stupid jealousy.
"I think she really cares about you, Sunset," she smiled sweetly.
That makes me feel even worse...
"Whatever it is, It can't be that bad... can it?" her smile faltered a bit.
It most definitely can be.
"Probably worse. I think I'm... n-no."
That isn't true.
I was sure. "I'm... jealous."
"Jealous?" her eyes widened before she quickly recovered. "That's not out of the ordinary, Sunset. We all can get a little envious from time to time," she kept an even temperament, although my declaration did appear to bother her.
"Not for the reasons I am," I covered my face with my hooves, the shame way too humiliating.
"And what might those be, if you don't mind me asking?"
Of course I mind.
She was a goddess, I didn't want her to know how terrible I was, but she really was trying to help, and I loved her too much not to trust her. I lowered my forelegs, ready to have the most serious discussion I'd ever had with my beloved mentor.
"You and Luna want the three of us to get along so..."
Can I really tell her I'm frustrated because their relationship is growing so much faster than mine?
Is that really the reason you're mad, Sunset?
Is it? Or is it because Starlight got to be so close to the pony I wanted to be close to? Is it because Twilight had held her so affectionately? Is it actually because all I wanted was for Twilight to hold me like that?
"It's... not as easy as I thought. Friendship, I mean," I only half lied, but it still drew a raised eyebrow from the Sun Princess. My head drooped because of her disappointed expression.
"It's... a delicate process, Sunset. Everypony moves forward at their own pace," she lifted my chin with her wing. "And there's nothing wrong with getting... discouraged when others seem to... progress a bit faster than you." She was being very careful about her choice of words. "It simply means you truly care about your own growth. We all experience negative thoughts from time to time. As long as you don't let that negativity influence your mood or actions, you'll continue down the right path."
I just had to make sure the negative emotions didn't change who I was?
That's... really good advice. But what should I do with them?
They were so strong. But maybe it wasn't the jealousy that was strong... maybe it was...
"Have you ever had... feelings for somepony, Celestia?"
Her eyes widened larger than I'd ever seen before, her jaw going slack, but her mouth remaining closed. "I-"
"S-SORRY! Is that too far?' I lifted my hooves in apology, panic overtaking me. Her eyes softened, a pleased smile coming to her face as her composure returned.
"It's okay, Sunset. I just wasn't expecting a... question of that nature from you."She closed her eyes as she grew quiet, concentration taking over her features. A look of disappointment came to her when she opened her eyes and spoke. "I'm afraid I may be useless to you on that subject, Sunset."
"N-never?" She didn't need to say anything more. I knew exactly what she was implying. "B-but you've been alive for more than a thousand years, how could you possibly..." It made no sense. She may have been immortal, but she was still a mare. A breathtakingly beautiful one at that. She still had to have inclinations. She still had to have... desires...
Doesn't she?
"Responsibilities," she said simply. When I didn't reply she chose to continue. "Since time immemorial, I have been the keeper of the day and all that entails, while Luna has been the same for the night. It is no easy task, taking care of the entire world, all while ruling a nation," she paused before chuckling uncomfortably. "Arguably, it's even more difficult to do while handling the obligations of an elder sister." I already knew all of that, but for some reason, the way she was explaining it felt... forced. "My wants and desires are irrelevant, Sunset. I have to protect this world of ours, no matter who may try and take it."
She wasn't looking at me, her eyes void of life, like she was reciting a speech she'd practiced hundreds, if not thousands, of times, but didn't believe in whatsoever.
"Celestia?" I craned my neck forward, trying to catch her gaze, but only received a nervous sidelong glance for my efforts.
Is she... sweating?
"What's going on?" I inched closer to her face. She moved away.
"N-nothing! Nothing at all! What makes you say that, Sunset?"
Nnnno, something is definitely off.
"You're acting really... wierd." I pressed a hoof against her hip and she jumped with a yelp like she'd just been stabbed. I jumped back myself, not expecting a reaction like that.
"I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF!" she nearly shouted before covering her mouth with her hooves. She still refused to look my way. I was pinned against the wall, her sudden volume surprising me so much I'd darted to the other side of the room.
"W-what stuff?" I was finally able to get out once my nerves had calmed down a bit and my pulse returned to normal. She mumbled something I couldn't quite hear, her head drifting down onto the couch. "Uhm, sorry? I didn't quite catch that."
"THE BIRDS AND THE BEES!" she definitely yelled this time, but it wasn't anger on her face, it was undiluted embarrassment, her cheeks a dark rose. She turned away again, laying her head on the couch.
"The buh-" I felt dizzy all of a sudden, the room slowly starting to spin.
Just what the heck is she on about?
"I knew we'd have to have the talk eventually," she sighed, sounding way too depressed. "but I was praying it wouldn't be this soon."
What the heck is she talking about? What the heck are we talking about?
At some point the two of us had lost the plot and it was my job to get things back on track.
"Celestia... what in all of Equestria are you talking about?" I moved closer to her, placing a gentle hoof on her back.
"You already know..." she whispered sadly. "You're growing up so fast."
"CELESTIA!" I almost smacked her. "TELL! ME! WHAT! WE! ARE! DISCUSSING!"
She flipped over, her eyes brimming with tears. "We're talking about s..." she stopped short.
Oh no... OH GOD...
I went pale as I finally realized where this was going. I had to force myself to stop actively retching, though more than one did slip out.
She closed her eyes, mustering her resolve. "WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SE-" I clapped a hoof against her mouth in a panic.
"NO, WE MOST DEFINITELY, ARE NOT!" My manic eyes locked with hers that were full of surprise.
No way! Not in a million years! I was not talking with HER about THAT!
"Wrm nht?" she muttered something into my hoof.
"What!?" I asked once I'd stopped blocking her speech.
"We're... not?" she asked innocently, her eyes full of renewed hope. I simply shook my head in response, my cheeks so hot I could've sworn they were on fire. "Oh, thank God!" She jumped up to a seated position and pulled me into a hug. "Wait... then what are we talking about?"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Twilight, huh?" She was taking the news way better than I'd thought she would.
"Y-yeah..." Once we'd both mellowed out and I started from the beginning, I was able to clear up the misunderstanding and tell her exactly what'd happened in the lab. Hearing it recollected out loud really did make it sound absolutely foolish, but if she was gonna try and help me, she had to hear it all.
"She's... cute?" she smiled uncomfortably. "I'm really sorry, Sunset," she wrapped a wing around me. "It truly is an awkward subject for me as well."
"You and me both," I snuggled into her. "I can only imagine how you'd have reacted if I'd been knocked up by some random stallion," I joked with a laugh.
"Well," her face screwed up in contemplation. "I suppose if it was just some random stallion, I could introduce him to the surface of my sun," she grinned.
"You wouldn't!" I stared at her with my own smile.
"It wouldn't be the first time," she winked mischievously. "Do you know how many unworthy suitors have tried to court Luna?" she laughed a little too loudly. "And they were just seeking to try with her. If an unworthy stallion had done such a thing to you..." she looked a little more than maniacal. The really scary thing was, I wasn't sure if she was joking or not.
"Well, it's a good thing Twilight is worthy then, huh?" I tried to steer the conversation away from murder.
"Even if I thought she wasn't, she's Luna's," her eyes narrowed to analytical slits, sending a trill through my mind.
"Uhm, Luna's?" I asked.
"OH!" she snapped out of her reflection. "Uhm, yes, her pupil, I mean," she scratched her mane roughly. "I would never think to do anything that might negatively affect my dear little sister, but..." she suddenly looked worried.
"What is it?"
"Sunset... have you considered the... possible ramifications of your... feelings?" she was being really careful with her words again, but it still ended up sounding pretty cold.
"What do you mean?" I didn't really understand what she was trying to ask.
How can my feelings for Twilight change anything that drastically?
"I can't say for sure, Sunset, but Luna is very... protective," she elaborated on her initial statement.
Well, yeah.
"Im aware of that, Celestia. But-"
"Sunset... there's a very real possibility that my sister has also... developed similar feelings for her student." My mentor didn't hold back, her eyes locking with mine. "You've seen them together."
I... hadn't considered that possibility at all. The Princess of the Night and her pupil were beyond close and I'd always viewed them as a family, a mother and daughter, but that didn't mean that's how they felt about one another. This single unconsidered scenario brought about countless questions.
If Luna had feelings for Twilight, did I even have a chance? Would Twilight ever pick me over the one she viewed in such a holy light? Even if by some miracle Twilight felt the same and I beat Luna, would she even approve of me?
"You..." I rubbed my eyes with my hooves, already tired despite it being so early in the day. "You might be right." I looked up at my mentor, full of desperation. "What should I do?"
"I think..." Again that uncomfortable smile painted her face. "I think your best course of action would be to speak with my sister."
I looked at her with so much disbelief she flinched. "Celestia, that sounds like the worst thing I could do."
"Don't misunderstand, Sunset," she shook her head. "I'm not telling you to confess your feelings to her or anything like that. I'm saying to speak with her and gauge her feelings for young Twilight."
"Oh! I get it," my face lit up in comprehension. "You're saying to do some investigating."
"Precisely!" she patted me atop the head before becoming deathly serious. "Just make sure you don't give anything away. Luna is unbelievably perceptive so if you slip up even a little, she'll see right through you."
"Thanks for the warning," I sighed. It wasn't going to be easy, trying to figure out if Luna had feelings for Twilight, but it had become even more critical to me to know than whether or not I loved the unicorn.
I couldn't compete with the alicorn. She was a goddess. A perfectly flawless entity that could do no wrong. She was everything to Twilight and I was just... noth-
"Never sell yourself short, Sunset." Celestia booped my nose, halting my thoughts. "You're an absolutely amazing mare... one Twilight would be lucky to have and one that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world."
An overjoyed smile crept onto my face. "T-thanks, Celestia. I... I feel the same way."
"I just..." she looked unsure all of a sudden. "I just wish I could've been more help to you. For all my limitless strength and wisdom, I sure dropped the ball as your friend, didn't I?"
I hugged her tight, chuckling at just how wrong she was. "No... you did great." My tears fell.
As she embraced me back I knew everything would be okay.
No matter what happened between me and Twilight.
No matter how everything played out with Starlight.
No matter how Luna felt.
I knew.
There was no doubt.
Celestia would always be right here with open arms and an open heart. She would care for me. She would worry for me. She would love me...
No matter what.
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There's definitely a story there somewhere that Celestia doesn't want to come to light...at least not yet.
Wait sooo is Celestia a thousand year old virgin?
You know… I could call this a Killing Spree because you’re killing it with the streak you got going.
I really like this chapter for some reason, maybe because Sunny is an actual character I care about now, or the fact that I’m a sucker for character growth/romance fights, but I did predict Glimmy liking Sunny (Imo this chapter pretty much confirmed it, not quite the definitive answer but close enough to blindly guess with a high success rate.)
The conversation with Celestia is pretty well done (maybe I’m just getting used to this style and it’s growing on me.) maybe the Bees and the Birds came somewhat out of nowhere, but it kind of makes sense if you think their outing might be a rare occasion.
Btw I read this like at least 3-4 or maybe hours ago but I didn’t get to ‘rest’ after school and my brain couldn’t process the info enough for me to comment so expect like everything to be wrong.
11702033
Celestia is map gamer confirmed?
11701851
Good observation. She seems to be very... secretive about something.
11702033
A lot older than that, but if she's being honest, then yes.
11702140
Lol, what a comment! Still insisting on Glim Glam liking Sunny huh? Well, I guess we'll see. The birds and the bees came from Celestia's complete lack of experience on the subject.
Sunny: have you ever liked anyone before Celestia?
Celestia's thoughts: OMG SHE WANTS TO HAVE ALL THE SEX!
Like I said, Tia is totally a mom here. If she can't be part of the romances, (as far as we know) she's gonna be a nurturer.
I'm glad you're enjoying!
Allow me to make one thing clear, Sunny. If Luna has feelings for Twi, and she and Twi end up together, YOU WILL NOT DO ANYTHING TO PRY THEM APART AND BREAK LUNA'S HEART, UNDERSTAND!!!!!??????
11702033
Virginity is cool. Remain pure.
11702624
Lol, could you imagine? Luna falling into a depression because she loves Twilight and Twilight chooses someone else.
That could be devastating.
11702846
This. This x1 million. Lmao.
Yea, you're screwed Sunny-buns. Best find the mirror and woo the sci-nerd before mosshead gets her.
11703083
That is the funniest/most brutal comment I've seen in a while. Never count out bacon. Everyone loves bacon.
Ehh... That got a little too awkward for my taste when they reached the topic of the birds and the bees. But other than that, it was a very sweet chapter. Poor Sunny now not only has to worry about Starlight taking Twilight from her but also an alicorn princess. As if her life wasn't stressful enough already. Let's see how she deals with this situation. Until then...
11704536
YES! Let the discomfort possess you! You cannot escape it!
I'm actually really surprised Tia's theatrics worked on everyone. There's some important foreshadowing going on here and everyone seems to have fallen for her slight of hoof.
Sunset is definitely in a losing spot, but she's always been a fighter.
I am all in for the love pentagon route here. No one goes home alone.
How old are they really? Because little Sunny is acting like a teenager in love (
não que eu realmente saiba como adolescente apaixonada age)11702033
Just like that story about a virgin at thirty becoming a saint, she has been a virgin for so long that she became a goddess
11813937
I think I answered this somewhere LMS...
Yep here...