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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Most 'battle scenes' I've seen in fanfiction (and let's face it, lots of action scenes in general) are about mooks getting slaughtered by the heroes in more massive numbers than normal, with the only real danger the protagonists face is having sore arm muscles tomorrow from too many decapitation swings.
A great battle scene needs strategy.
Nice bravery on Bulk's part, and he's right, they need every pony willing to fight they can get.
I'd say it's time for Spike to get greedy and stomp the enemy flat.
Flash Sentry isn't like the others. He's not familiar in that body. He's a liability.
What are these fused ponies' NAMES and SPECIES? it's getting awkward with these generic descriptions.
, I’ve come to far for an upstart to undo it!”
Audacia could explain she never actually said she had any intention of doing that.
At least Dusk showed basic strategy by having his obvious force being a distraction for an ambush.
“LET ME GO! I NEED TO HELP!” Audacia shouted.
Sadly, her being there is too big a risk since she's his primary target.
“Oops…” Audacia said before she tried to un up to assist him.
Inexperience is her worst enemy at the moment.
Why the Hell doesn't Dusk abuse the lantern left and right here?
And Dusk can tell this entire flashback in the middle of the battle, and the heroes don't think to gang up on him when he's distracted telling his back story.
Seriously? Doesn't Celly have enough skeletons in her closet? And we're expected to believe a pony's POV traumatized to the point of insanity is gonna be completely unbiased?
“Hey! Trixie is not ‘subpar’!” Trixie shouted.
Ironically we see in later seasons... all Trixie actually needed was a tutor willing to help her learn at her own pace.
“Next time, shout that after you sneak attack me,”
Has a point.
Dusk just abandoned his minions, no, HIS CREATIONS, his CHILDREN, like they were nothing? When they're all programmed to be fiercely loyal to him?!
Why few days time? What logistics is he preparing for?
“Worry not Celtus, soon your time will come, just be patient,” Dusk said.
Wait, he INTENDS to unleash an outdated eldritch horror on Equestria one way or another? WTH?
How will you take Canterlot when their is going to be for a Alicorn station there? Pause while the mirror was made to Help combat against discord. He’s had a Malenia to figure out how to combat it and he’s going to have the backing of the previously mentioned 4 Alicorns.