Chaotica

by Evowizard25

Part 7: The Donut Shop

In another part of Canterlot, in a familiar donut shop, the chaos army lingered. Flim and Flam were talking to Pony Joe behind the counter. “Thanks for letting us sell our cider.” Flim said.
“It’s a shame we couldn’t have come to an agreement.” Flam said. “You know, and share the profits.”
“I’m sorry,” Pony Joe started. “But to be honest, I wouldn’t trust you ponies as far as I could throw you.”
The brothers smiled. “Too true.” Flim said.
“It’s nice to meet a pony with some brains, isn’t it brother.” Flam said.
“Yes it is, brother.” Flim nodded his head. Pony Joe just rolled his eyes.
A little ways off, Photo Finish started taking pictures of Dr. Smith. “Must you insist on taking so many photos.”
“Of course.” Photo Finish said. “I must capture…ZE MAGICS!”
Dr. Smith stared at her for a moment. “Good luck with that.” He started walking away.
“No,” Photo Finish ran in front of him. “You are going to be my next star.”
“Look, I’m not a fashion model.” Dr. Smith said. “I’m an evil, deranged, spider man. Those are two completely different lifestyles.”
“I didn’t hear a no.” Photo Finish smiled.
Dr. Smith sighed, before perking up. “Wait! If I give you an idea for your next show, will you let me go?”
“Does it involve spiders?” Photo Finish asked. “Because I will not have spiders at my shows.”
Dr. Smith sighed. “Again, why do people hate spiders so much?” He then continued on, not wanting an answer. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a picture. He gave it to her. “Here, will this make you happy?”
Photo Finish gazed upon this and then smiled brightly. “Oh-ho, I have found the perfect outfit for the spirit of chaos.”
Meanwhile, on the counter, Discord was guzzling down another jug of cider. He slammed the jug down onto the counter. “Refill.”
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Pony Joe said, looking concerned.
Discord pointed a finger at him. “I’m Discord, the spirit of chaos, I’ll never have enough.”
“Looks like somebody has issues.” Trixie pointed out.
“Look here, showpony.” Discord threw his hands up into the air. “I have enough issues to drown the city if I decided to write them all down. Which would be rather boring since I would have to sit around for several weeks.” Pony Joe came back with another glass. “And give me a donut, extra frosting.” He gulped down the cider. He turned his attention back to Trixie. “And the sad part is, I can’t get drunk.”
“Wow,” Trixie nodded. “That is sad. Though, I wouldn’t recommend it. I should know.”
“So, the great and powerful Trixie had a drinking problem, I see.” Discord raised an eyebrow.
Trixie lowered her head. “I’m not proud of it.” She said. “But I’ve gotten better. My future is ripe for the taking.”
Discord was silent. “That makes one of us.”
Gilda was just sneering at the drink. “Ugh, why would anyone drink apples?” She gagged. “That’s disgusting.”
“That’s just like a griffon.” Jet Set said, taking a small sip of milk from his glass. “They don’t know how to appreciate the little things in life.” Upper Crust nodded.
“Oh, like how it feels to gut a fish?” Gilda glared at them. “Or catch your first Chinchilla.” Her mouth started to water. “I can just remember it. The little critter struggling in my grasp before I bit down into it. Oh, it tasted so good. Yes, I got some blood and bits of guts on my feathers, but it was worth it.” Upper Crust looked like she was about to faint. Jet Set reached out and held her, before she did so.
“Ah, come on Gilda.” Pinkie Pie popped up beside her. “It’s so delicious and you know what they say.”
Everyone chipped in, even Prince Blueblood. “The only person who doesn’t like apple cider, has never tasted it.”
“That’s me, never have, never will.” Gilda said, crossing her arms.
Pinkie gasped. “Then, we have to change that.” She shoved a glass into her face. “Drink.”
“I’m not drinking that juice.” Gilda pushed it away.
“If you don’t drink, then I’ll keep talking.” Pinkie said, glaring at her. “And trust me, I have a lot on my chest.”
Gilda gulped. “Fine.” She took the jug. “Just keep quiet.” She gulped it down and her eyes went wide. She pulled the glass away. “I must have more.”
Pinkie giggled. “I remember Dashies first cider.”
_________________________________________________________
Pinkie Pie was pounding on a metal door in the Sugar Cube Corner. “Dashie, you got to stop drinking.”
“Oh, what.” Rainbow Dash called out to her from inside. “I’m going to blow up.”
“No, it will go straight to your thighs.” Pinkie said.
An almost inaudible. “My thighs.” Could be heard.
“And then you’ll blow up.” Pinkie said, before she heard a loud explosion.
_______________________________________________________________
“Did that actually happen?” Prince Blueblood asked.
“Eyup.” Pinkie nodded, before pointing to her head. “In my head.”
“In my head,” Discord started singing. “I can see her all over me. In my head, she fulfills my fantasies…”
Quizzler hit him over the head with his cane. “No, we’re not doing that song.”
“Ahhh,” Discord whined. “I kind of liked that one.”
“What was that song about, cus?” Pinkie Pie stared at Quizzler with an innocent expression.
“Uh,” Quizzler started to sweat. “About naughty parties.”
“How can a party be naughty?” Pinkie asked.
“Trust me on this,” Quizzler said. “They can.”
“Who does she think she is?” Discord started ranting to himself. “That girl has tangled with the wrong spirit of chaos!”

“Heh heh. That’s right.” Scootaloo said.
“Who’s tangled with who?” Sweetie Bell asked.
“Celestia,” Discord growled. “How could she have done this? To me?”
“You’re trying to take over her kingdom.” Carrot Top tried to explain.
“But I thought she’d be taken by surprise by my attack.” The spirit said.
“You put up a giant sign telling her our plans.” Carrot Top said, trying to put sense into his nonsensical head.
“But she never took me seriously before.” Discord said.
_____________________________________________________________
“Discord, I can’t take you seriously.” Celestia, now a young teen, looked up to the ceiling.
Discord was bouncing on it with a pogo stick, wearing a blue helmet with a large red feather sticking out. “That’s the point, Tia.” He said, in a sing song voice.
Celestia sighed. Sometimes, dealing with him was impossible. “Really, you should put such childish acts behind you.”
Discord gasped dramatically and snapped his fingers. He appeared before here, without either his helmet or pogo stick. “Never.” He glared at her. “Now if you will excuse me,” He snapped his fingers and was then ten dressed in a tuxedo, top hat and a cane. “I have to go teach a flock of penguins some new dance steps. See you later.” He then started to dance out of the room. Celestia couldn’t help but chuckle at his antics.
________________________________________________________

“More cider?” Joe asked.
Discord nodded, looking rather glum. “She used to like my chaos.” He sniffled, his head on the counter.
Pinkie Pie frowned. “Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Discord
Looking like you’re at a dump.” Discord turned away from her.
“Everybody here'd love to be you, Discord.” The others let out a cheer for him.
“Even though you’re such a grump.” Discord snorted.
“There's no spirit in town as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Everyone's awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why.”
Pinkie Pie jumped on top of the counter. “No one's slick as Discord
No one's quick as Discord
No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Discord.” She said, bouncing around him.
“For there's no chaotic being half as chaotic
Or that can pull of a great con.”
She leaped off the counter and jumped on a few of the other member’s heads. “You can ask any Flim, Flam or Traxoric
And they'll tell you which team they prefer to be on.”

Everyone pitched in on the song. “No one's spins like Discord
No one wins like Discord
No one's got a swell beard on their chin like Discord.”
Discord smiled, stroking his beard. “As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating.”

“My- what a guy, that Discord.
Give five "hurrahs!"
Give twelve "hip-hips!"
Pinkie Pie soloed. “Discord is the best
And the rest is all drips.” She jumped onto the edge of a table, knocking a jug of cider into Blueblood’s face.
The Prince sighed. “I should have seen that one coming.”

“No one beats like Discord
No one cheats like Discord!”
Pinkie Pie sang out loud again. “No one performs incredible feats like Discord.”
The girls all sang out. “For there's no one as strange and brainy.”
They were then hit by a spell which dressed them up in rather erotic outfits. “As you see I've got magic to spare.” He smirked, before undoing it.
“Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.” Pinkie Pie said, smiling. Ignoring the whole little incident.
“That's right!” Discord smiled, waggling a finger at her in agreement. “And you can just ask Harry the Bear.”
He pointed to a bear in a tacky Hawaiian shirt. “Hi.” He waved at them.

The crowd started up again. “No one hits like Discord
Matches wits like Discord
In a spitting match nobody spits like Discord
“I'm especially good at expectorating.” Discord said, before spitting into an empty jar, which then melted into a puddle of chocolate.

“Ten points for Discord!” The crowd cheered and both Surprise and Pinkie were both licking up the chocolate.

“When I was a lad I performed four dozen spells
Every morning to help me keep my wit.” Discord said, as a few sparks flew out of his fingers.
And now that I'm grown I perform five hundred spells
So my enemies all get thrown in a pit.” He threw his hands into the air, as rockets of pure magic shot up. The others had to dodge as they criss-crossed all over the place.

“No one shoots like Discord.” He fired a bolt of magic out of his finger, knocking Pony Joe’s hat off.
“Makes those beauts like Discord.” Discord then raised an eyebrow and looked at the crowd. He shrugged.
Discord snapped his fingers, which then produced a pair of thick boots on his feet. “Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Discord.” They sang as he stomped along.
Discord leaned back against the wall. “I use lemons in all of my decorating.” The wall was then revealed to have dozens of lemons and pictures of lemons, which proceeded to explode.
“Say it again
Who's a god among gods?
And then say it once more
Who's the hero next door?
Who's a super success?
Don't you know? Can't you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down
And his name's DISCORD!”
Everyone started laughing. Most of them hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. Discord looked around. He enjoyed the sight of ponies laughing. It always made him feel good about himself. But something bothered him. Something was missing from the scene. “Where’s Luna?”
______________________________________________________________

Allura yawned as she made her way over to her bed. She had a hectic day, helping out around the castle. Everypony was a nervous wreck, worrying, fretting over Discord’s arrival. She didn’t care though. The spirit wouldn’t dare mess with her. ‘He may be a spirit of chaos, but he is still a male. I know how to deal with them.’ She flicked her tail, smiling. The only thing that bugged her was the fact that the Princess of the night wasn’t there. ‘Probably doing some errands.’ She daintily jumped onto the bed. “Now, for some well deserved rest.” But that rest would have to wait, for the next second, Princess Luna teleported into her room. “Princess,” She jumped out of bed and stood at attention. “What are you doing here?” She then noticed tears in Luna’s eyes. “Are you alright, Princess?”
Luna wiped them away with her hoof. “Yes, I’m fine.” She answered, in a soft whimper. “Just a little stressed, is all.”
Allura could tell you that it was far more than just a little stress. ‘But I am just a servant. It’s not my place to point that out.’ “If you say so, my lady.” She bowed before her.
“I need you to inform my guard.” Luna said. “That they are to help me in tomorrow’s attack.”
Allura’s eyes widened. She had heard rumors that Luna had joined Discord, but didn’t believe them. “But your highness, you can’t be serious.” Her voice dripped with concern and fear.
“I am, however much it pains me, I am.” Luna said, turning her head away from her.
“But your majesty,” Allura tried to persuade her. Even though they hadn’t known each other long, Luna usually listened to her. ‘Well, most of the time, if I ever spoke up against her…which never happens.’ “This is madness.”
Luna chuckled. “Oh, you have no idea.” She said, frowning. “And inform the Lunanites as well.”
Allura cringed. The Lunanites were a group of unicorns with a loyal to Luna to no end. They were obsessed with her and always looked for new ways to please their goddess of the night. “Are you about them? They aren’t the most level headed sort of ponies.”
“No, their insane.” Luna responded. “Which is the exact quality I’m looking for. Besides, they can’t say no to me.”
Allura bowed. “As you wish, your majesty.” She said. “But I must say, it’s a shock to see you working for Discord.”
Luna looked like she was about to burst into tears. “Yes, it’s a shock to me as well.”
“Why are you doing it, my lady?”
“It’s complicated.”
“But why?”
Luna stomped a hoof to the ground, eliciting a sound similar to thunder. “WE NEED NOT ANSWER THY QUESTIONS, MEER MORTAL!” She bellowed in the Traditional Canterlot Voice.
Allura gulped and simply nodded. “As you wish.” She scurried out of the room as fast as she could, but not before she heard the sound of Luna crying.

Comments

[DavidPony]

awsome song ^_^ is it a parody? i wanna hear it

[Tonto the Trotter]

YOU! (Points at Evowizard25) How did you do it? You wrote a song, I read a song, but I swear I could hear it playing .

And it was awesome nice work Evo, loved this chapter, and you've hinted at so many things. Are Lunanites some sort of pro-luna cult? like Discord's cult that Celestia disbanded. And Luna's Royal guards are loyal solely to her, a nice touch I might add . It shows that Luna isn't just around the Palace, she actually has real power both politically and magically.

[Evowizard25]

183927>>184007 Okay, the song that you guys heard was a parody of Gaston! I doubt I could write a song off the top of my hat. (Possibly, but I would have to have music to guide me.) And yes, the Lunanites are like Discord's group but different.
Giving away a couple of spoiler for Resistance: Equestria here, but Discord's cult is not entirely loyal to him. One half want Equestria to become a care free, playful land, much like Discord wants it to be, while the other half want to go with a more destructive kind of chaos.
Luna's guard are not like that. They are solely loyal to Luna and do not sway in different groups. The Lunanites are a solely unicorn cult that use the power of the moon to aid them in their magicical abilities.
(And to be a spoiler, they are based off of the Mooninites from Yugioh Abridged who are based off of something else. I can't remember the name.)
I hope you all enjoyed it.
Until next time,
Sincerely,
Evo

[Delicious]

Nice Spongebob reference and Beauty and The Beast reference. Other than that, it was just a real nice chapter. I'm not really good at making long or descriptive comments, can't wait for next chapter.

[Evowizard25]

134517>>223322 Congradulations, you both got the reference.

[Evowizard25]

223328 Eyup. That's the characters they are kind of based around in this story, although, I'm trying not to just copy the whole thing. (Hey, aren't you that guy on youtube? I think we've met before.)

[HeatherIsBestPlayer]

223331 Eeyup, That's me. Do you like my videos?

[Evowizard25]

223345 Of course, I love your videos. Yugioh abridged and FIM are both so awesome and you put them together so well.

[Evowizard25]

223741 Well, yes. They did try to do just that, but I still found them really enjoyable, even more so, dare I say it, than Discord. I like to write him, but the brothers are more entertaining, and let's not forget about their song. Among the best in the show, if not one of my favorite songs of all time.