It placed them into his gray-covered hand before taking the collar. 'Did; I, just. Do a commerce Exchange, with a Bird?' 860 was dumbfounded by this.

yes, yes you did

11567471
Princess Celestia's Phoenix no less

This is getting good, I'm curios if 860 will defect from the Combine or if he will continue to serve them, I can't wait to find out.

11567686
We shall see

Whats with the random capitals, sentence fragments, and periods in the middle of sentences? Was this written by Ai?

11567698
No, I just feel like some words needed to be capitalized 😅 I also don't know if you're joking about that given the current part of the story.

Other than that they might just be small mistakes I missed which was more or less human error if you couldn't tell.

11567698
It should be corrected sorry for the inconvenience

11567706
If you wish to create emphasis use underlining or italics, random capitals make it seem like you dont know Dirt isn't a name or title.

That first chapter is so littered with these errors its genuinely difficult to read or parse the meaning of. Try to look over your work two times, once for structural issues, second time for grammer. If you dont use grammerly or the like, I'd recommend you give it a shot.

Either way, a solid first story my freind, you improve quite a bit from chapter 1 to 2. Keep on it. :)

11567757
I'll fix chapter one tomorrow im just to tired to do it rn it's midnight currently 😅

Interesting take on how his emotions and induvidual thinking is still there. Eager to see where this goes

And i am the only one that thinks the combine shotgunner and squad leader in alyx look very similar to the Standard soldier in half life 2?

Let's goo

Not that 860-minded. but still, sunlight was better the night vision. Shaking his head, the soldier pressed forward while nature around him was very much energetic. There were birds, rabbits, and insectoids.

Then

'We're the hell, am I? Is this an overlooked pocket from the Suppression field? So many questions and so few answers.' Sighing, 860 made sure the cart wouldn't roll off so he could grab a rock to keep it in place.

Where

11568108
My guy it was ONE letter! Cut me some slack!

Another great chapter, worth the wait!

When the next chapter?

I was half expecting him to put the flag on his back.

Also yes bat ponies

11568119
Oh no I am just putting you forgot or it autocorrected then for the.

11562684
Plus I though I was your editor for both of your stories?

11568192
I thought you said no

11567795
Well in half life 2 that version of Combine has emotions not on the same level as you or I but they can get angry, sad, and motivated. Etc but if we look at entropy zero 2

Overwatch soldiers and even elites can be given all emotions and individual thought back. If a combine advisor approved it.

The combine couldn't just remove all emotions from a human if they did they would more or less be a vegetable

Sorry for the delayed response!

11570352
okay, interesting thinking and its okay.

i, on the other hand, hope that wi the helmet was not too much or anything

11568197
I never did say no? Wait when did I say no?

11571745
Again I thought you did but apparently not.

Does that orange crystal on the collar happen to be a Xen crystal by any chance?

Also wouldn't a pheonix turn blue or something if it was blushing?

11609742
I didn't think of that, no the collar just has regular crystals in it

11609743
I don't think they turn blue when they blush if you watch the episode where Fluttershy cares for Celestia's Phoenix

They blush a red or deeper red never seen them blush blue. 🤷‍♂️

I could be wrong