The Wager
Teagan had never been able to handle stress well. Watching the horrible tangle of twisting death straining to cut Princess Celestia to ribbons was a level of trauma she’d never dreamed existed. It wasn’t fair. She was the alicorn’s only hope and there was literally nothing she could do and it was driving her insane with fear and despair. She needed something to distract Discord until Luna recovered. She had no idea if Luna could do anything but it was the only thing she could think of.
The stress was making Teagan angry. Angry enough to want to hurt that arrogant smirking monster who was gloating from his lofty perch like some school yard bully.
Wait a minute! Bully! That’s it! Now what was that insult the bronies were always throwing around? Ah…
“Hey, plot hole!” She moved directly under Discord. As she’d hoped he looked down between his feet, peering at her and temporarily forgetting Celestia.
“What did you call me?” He asked, puzzled.
“Plot hole! And if you’re too stupid to figure out what that means don’t expect me to explain it!”
“What do you want, brat? I’m busy conquering the world here.” Discord asked, obviously annoyed. There was a flash from behind her and sudden shring of screeching steel that made Teagan’s blood run cold. She spun around, seeing the net of barbed wire lying collapsed and flat on the ground, still moving sluggishly.
“Now look what you did! Celestia slipped away, the little minx. Oh well, no matter. I’ll hunt her down later. As for you—” He started to say. Teagan cut him off.
“I guess they lied to me then!” She shouted up at the Chaos Spirit. “They said you always played fair! That you lived for mind games! Always matching wits with your enemies! I guess that got old after they proved you weren’t very good at it! Twice!”
“What?” He roared. He suddenly fell toward her, making her leap back desperately. His landing shook the ground.
“You little nothing!” He snarled. “How dare you impugn my intelligence, you stupid smelly ape! My intellect is far superior to those mewling ponies!” He pointed to where Luna and the others lay unmoving.
“I am the most cunning creature in all of Equestria! Celestia thought she could cage me in stone and that insufferable Twilight Sparkle thought she’d bested me. Me! Well look at her now, brat! I tricked every one of you and it was you, you brainless twit, who carried me straight into the heart of my enemies! You played right into my hands, you trusting pathetic fool!”
“Dumb luck.” She sneered. “You tricked a helpless frightened girl. That doesn’t take brains. That takes a douche bag of epic proportions!”
Teagan wasn’t frightened now, she was enraged. She was beginning to worry the ponies weren’t just unconscious and that threw gasoline on the flames of her fury.
“Yet here we stand.” Discord said, suddenly chuckling. “I am the victor and you are the spoiled little girl who’s whining because the big bad Meanie took her ponies away.” He stuck out his tongue and wriggled it like a snake.
“Well, I’m not helpless now and I’m not scared of you, you freak! You want to try matching wits with me? Or are you afraid you’ll lose to a stupid smelly ape, you one-trick pony?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Discord scoffed. “I’ve won. Why should I bother matching wits with an unarmed opponent? What’s in it for me? I already have everything I want.”
“Really?” Teagan laughed scornfully. “Except the one thing you’ll never have again.”
“And what’s that?” Discord asked, yawning.
“A challenge.” Teagan said, with a smile that held no amusement, just teeth.
“And you think you can give me that?” He scoffed.
“Ok then. Let’s say you’re right. Let’s say you really have won and this time it’s for keeps. What are you going to do for the rest of eternity, Discord? If you create the levels of chaos you really want you’ll kill every living thing in Equestria. Then you’ll be alone. With no one to test you ever again. No mind games. No challenges. Just you and your chaos. Alone. Forever.”
“Hmm.” Discord said, doubt creeping into his eyes. “What’s the game to be then, brat?”
“We fight you, me and my friends. We win—you go back to your stone prison until you manage to escape again, which I’m thinking’s not gonna happen for a long, long time.”
“And if I win?” Discord asked, eyes turning yellow as he rubbed his hands together.
“You learn some restraint and leave part of Equestria alone so the ponies can live. That way you’ll never run out of creatures whose only goal in life is challenging you—over and over and over again.”
“I must say it’s an intriguing offer.” Discord said, tapping his chin with a claw tipped talon. “But how can you speak for the ponies? Won’t Celestia get just a bit peeved you’re horning in on her gig? You know, speaking for all pony kind? Oh wait, horning in,” He laughed, his anger evaporating in a mercurial mood change.
“I accept!” He announced suddenly. He snapped his fingers and the ponies jerked and started struggling to their feet, even Princess Luna.
“But there’s gonna be some rule changes!” He said sternly. “First, I’m going to make sure you can’t use those blasted Elements of Harmony to defeat me. You want a fair fight, well you got it, brat!”
“Fine, in that case I get to utilize every pony in Equestria against you. All their skills. All their knowledge.”
“No fair! That’s thousands against one.” Discord protested.
“You said you were the greatest intellect in all of Equestria.” Teagan smirked. “Not so cocky now are we, oh great and all-powerful Discord?”
“All right, fine. But if you try and cheat the deals off. No defeating me with the Elements of Harmony.”
“Agreed. But after you’re defeated, we use them to seal you away.”
“Yes, yes, yada-yada. But if you try to use them before I’m defeated—” He smiled an evil smile. “Well let’s just say your friends might lose their heads in the heat of the moment.”
“What?” Teagan asked, eyes narrowing.
“Just a little artwork, perfectly harmless. See for yourself. Oh Twilight, be a dear and trot over here, would you?” He called cheerfully.
The purple unicorn stalked over, her horn glowing brightly, obviously locked and loaded.
“What’s going on? Are you all right?” Twilight asked. Behind her Luna and the other Bearers gathered in a tight knot.
“What have you done?” Teagan snarled turning on Discord after seeing his “artwork”.
“Why nothing at all, my dear Teelo. Just a harmless, oh what do you call them?”
“Tattoo.” She ground out.
“Right! Just a harmless little tattoo. And it will remain harmless unless they try to use the Elements of Harmony. But if they do that, well—” He shrugged. “Cheaters never prosper.” He drew a talon across his throat in an unmistakable universal gesture.
“What’s he talking about?” Twilight asked suspiciously. “What’s a tattoo?”
“I’m sure she’ll be glad to illuminate you on everything that happened while you were napping, my dear Twilight. Little Teelo, I shall await you at the Graveyard Of The Forgotten in the Forsaken Forest.”
“You don’t get to call me that.” She growled. “I am Lady Teagan Laoise, scion of Clan O’Gara to you, monster. I don’t like you, I certainly don’t respect you, and the next time I see you I will do my damndest to send you straight to Hell!”
“Ooh, scary!” Discord cringed and then laughed. “Till we meet again, Lady Teagan!” Mockingly he saluted her and vanished.
“What’s going on, Teelo? Where’s Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked nervously as the others joined them.
“Oh God!” Teagan spun to face Princess Luna. “Discord trapped her when she tried to fight him! She got cut up pretty bad but then threw up a bubble of light. I managed to distract Discord for a couple of seconds and she teleported out. I have no idea where she is, but she was bleeding. She had cuts all over her! Big ones!”
Luna threw up her head in alarm and her horn flickered like a bad fluorescent bulb. Pinkie Pie looked like she was ready to cry and Applejack hung her head.
“She is safe!” Luna announced after a few seconds. “I have just spoken with her. She teleported to the armory, Sun Hammer is guarding her. I have contacted Spring Water and sent her to tend my sister.”
“Oh thank God.” Teagan slumped, so relieved she thought she was going to faint. “She was in really bad shape when I saw her, Princess. If she hadn’t teleported out—” Teagan shuddered and tried not to start crying.
“My sister thanks you for saving her life, Lady Teagan.” Luna said quietly. “She says your taunting Discord distracted him just long enough. Equestria owes you more than we can ever repay.” She bowed her head to Teagan, a graceful sweep of her horn.
“What did Discord do?” Twilight demanded angrily. “How did he hurt Princess Celestia?”
“You don’t want to know.” Teagan said, shaking her head and wiping her eyes.
“Yes, I really do.” Twilight’s voice was low and threatening, and a gleam of light ran up and down her horn.
“It was living barbed wire.” Teagan said, hugging the purple unicorn. “I’m so sorry, Twilight. I didn’t want to tell you.”
“What’s barbed wire?” Applejack asked with an edge to her voice.
“You don’t have it here? No, of course you don’t.” Teagan let go of Twilight and straightened, reluctantly facing the orange earth pony.
“It’s just what it sounds like, Applejack. Thick wire that’s had sharp wire barbs twisted around it every couple of feet.”
Applejack’s eyes widened. “Who in tarnation would wanna make sumthin’ like that?” She asked in horror. “What’s it fer?”
“Fences. See, my world doesn’t have any creatures other than humans who can think. Big animals can push down normal fences. But with a barbed wire fence they try to push and the barbs prick them so they don’t try it again.”
“That’s terrible!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “Those poor animals!”
“It doesn’t really hurt them, Fluttershy. They back off before the barbs do anything but make a tiny little pinprick. They don’t try more than a couple of times. After that they go somewhere else.”
“So why did the Princess get so cut up then?” Applejack asked suspiciously. “If’n he just fenced her in then she coulda just flew over it!”
“No, Applejack. That’s not what he did.” Teagan tried not to remember the coiling twisting mass of living metal that had spun around and slashed the captive alicorn…
“You know what a tentacle is?” Teagan asked her quietly.
“Can’t say Ah does.” Applejack replied, eyeing her.
“All right, imagine a rose bush, lots of long thin branches, all covered in thorns, right?”
Applejack nodded.
“Imagine those branches can move like snakes, only really, really fast. Now imagine what would happen if they were barbed wire and whipped around a pony’s body—dozens of them. And then imagine them squeezing.”
Applejack’s eyes grew wide. “That’s what happened ta the Princess?” She asked, sickened.
Teagan nodded, not able to say anything more. Rarity closed her eyes and shuddered violently. Fluttershy just trembled.
“Discord was a big Meanie before.” Pinkie Pie said slowly. “But even he wouldn’t have done that. Nopony would ever do that! Would they?” She begged Teagan with her eyes.
“Yes, Pinkie, he did that.” Teagan said. “Still believe Discord can’t turn evil, Twilight?”
“It’s not possible.” Twilight said.
“Why don’t you tell Princess Celestia that when you see her?” Teagan snapped. “I’m sure it will make her feel much better.”
Twilight flinched.
“I’m sorry, Twilight. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it, please forgive me.” Teagan apologized, taking a half step toward the unicorn.
“No, it’s ok.” Twilight said. “You’re right, Discord turned evil. Somehow. But it just doesn’t make any sense.”
“Since when does Discord have to make sense? Princess Luna, you said Princess Celestia is in the armory?”
“Yes, Lady Teagan.”
“That’s where you keep the weapons isn’t it?”
“That is so.” Luna nodded gravely.
“Good. Because right now I want one. Think you can arrange that?”
“Oh yes. We know the Keeper personally. This way, everypony.” Luna set off, trailed by the small dispirited herd and one very angry teenage girl.
It took fifteen minutes to reach the armory, only to find their way barred by the scariest looking pony Teagan had ever seen, on Earth or Equestria.
He was as big as Luna, but built broad like a pony, not slender like a horse. He was a roan pony, with a black tail and mane. That mane was coarse and thick, hanging shaggy and untrimmed. He looked like a pony from Teagan’s world. One ear was mangled and he wore an eye patch over the eye on the same side. There was a long scar that ran from his eye patch down his neck and over his enormous chest. More scars covered the front of his body, and his left leg was a mass of scar tissue, lacking fur from his hoof to his knee. More scars ran up from the knee onto his shoulder.
He was an earth pony, lacking horn or wings. The glare he gave the group made Teagan think he was going to charge them where they stood.
“Nae further!” He bellowed—baring teeth and laying his ears back. “Nae further, I say! Or ye’ll be facin’ the wrath of Sun Hammer, the daith o’ the Troll King!”
“Sun Hammer! It is we, Princess Luna. We would see our sister, let us pass.”
“An how dae I ken ye be who ye say ye be, ya great blue beastie?” Sun Hammer challenged, rearing and slashing the air with his front hooves. Metal glittered at their edges.
Teagan was glad she was behind Luna. This mad Scottish pony could tear her apart in a heartbeat.
“DO YOU RECOGNIZE US NOW, YOU ILL-BRED OAF?” Princess Luna shouted in the Royal Canterlot Voice. The back blast was painful. Teagan had only thought the Princess was speaking loudly before, now she knew the awful truth.
“Aye, so I dae, Princess. No other pony hiv such a loud mouth on ‘em.” Sun Hammer said, stepping aside. As he did Teagan saw his cutie mark, a brown and steel-colored war hammer next to a golden sun on a blue patch of sky.
“Who’s the long skinny quine then?” He asked, catching sight of Teagan.
“Sun Hammer, may we present Lady Teagan Laoise, scion of Clan O’Gara.” Princess Luna said in her most formal tones.
“Lady Teagan, may I present Sun Hammer: Keeper of the Armory, Hero to the Crown and Champion of the Sun.”
“Clan O’Gara is it?” Sun Hammer eyed her with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. “Seems laik the Bridge o’ Days be nae but a shade o’ itself if this midge is all it could bear intae the world.”
“Be wary, Sun Hammer.” Princess Luna chuckled. “Appearances may deceive. She is the one who saved our sister not an hour past when Discord had laid all of us low save my sister and Lady Teagan.”
Sun Hammer snorted, but relaxed. “Aye. Wis well done, lassie, true ‘nough. Ye have ma thanks.”
“You can thank me by giving me a weapon to beat the snot out of Discord.” She growled.
“Aye? A truly wad love a seat at that table, so A would.” Sun Hammer chuckled, a rumbling sound. “Princess, A think thon quine is a growin’ on me.”
The group entered a large room where they found a very bedraggled Princess Celestia being tended by a light blue earth pony with white mane and tail. The pony was just finishing the last bandage.
“There! All done, Your Highness. Are you sure you’ll be able to heal yourself tomorrow?”
“Don’t worry Spring Water.” Celestia assured the fussing earth pony. “Once I raise the sun I’ll spend the day recuperating. I’ll be healed by evening, you have my word.”
“Yes, well, not that I would dare doubt your word, Princess Celestia, but I’ve heard those same words from many a patient before!” The earth pony chuckled. “Is the soothing balm working?”
“Yes and I’m glad it is! Those cuts were quite pa—sensitive.” The princess said, suddenly catching sight of the ponies as they entered. “Hello, my little ponies. Little sister, it’s good to see you. Spring Water, thank you for your kindness. I’m sorry to have troubled you.”
“It’s my calling, Your Highness. I’m glad it wasn’t worse.” Spring Water said in a tone that might have been mistaken for accusatory if addressed to anyone else.
“So am I. Although to look at me you’d think I was one of those Camelu mummies!” Princess Celestia laughed.
Teagan didn’t. The bandages hid the glorious mane of light, although her tail still blew in the imperceptible wind. Her wings were about the only part of her that weren’t bandaged, but even one of them was wrapped in white cloth strips.
Spring Water bowed and left the armory, shaking her head.
“I’m so sorry, Princess!” Teagan said, hanging her head. “I tried but I wasn’t fast enough.”
“Lady Teelo, you saved my life.” Princess Celestia said gently. “If you hadn’t managed to distract Discord for those crucial seconds I wouldn’t be standing here right now. You were very brave to do that. Thank you.”
“Well, you might not thank me after you hear the rest of it.” Teagan said grimly. Suddenly she was the focus of every eye.
“Rest of it?” Princess Celestia asked carefully. “What did you do?”
“Used your kingdom as stakes in a winner-take-all wager with Discord.” Teagan said, wanting to say it while she was still angry enough to dare. Looking at the wounded alicorn made it much easier.
“Excuse me?” The Princess asked, knowing she couldn’t possibly have heard what she thought she’d heard.
“I know, I know. Stupid. But you had fled and Princess Luna was down and my friends weren’t moving and I just didn’t know what else to do!” Teagan said in a rush. “So I challenged Discord to a battle of wits. Us against him.”
“Who, exactly, is us?” Rainbow Dash asked to break the silence.
“Me and the six of you. But I can ask any pony in Equestria for assistance. They can’t take part in the fight but they can supply plans, supplies, weapons, or whatever.
“No problem! We grab the Elements of Harmony, zap old chaos-breath with the Mighty Rainbow of Friendship and be back home in time for lunch.” Rainbow Dash said with a grin.
“Yeah, about that.” Teagan said uncomfortably. “You guys can’t use the Elements to defeat him.”
“Say what?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, horrified.
“After he’s defeated you’ll be able to use the Elements to turn him to stone, but if you try and use them before then—well you’ll die.”
“What do you mean, Lady Teelo?” Princess Celestia asked in a tone that demanded an explanation.
“There’s enough light to see them here. Look at each other’s necks.” Teagan was not looking forward to the explanation that was going to follow.
“What the hay is that?” Applejack asked looking at Fluttershy’s neck. “Looks kinda like a black cutie mark shaped like a necklace. Ah ain’t ever seen one around the neck afore tho.”
“We’ve all got them.” Twilight said. “What did Discord call them? A tattoo? You know what they are, Teelo?”
“Yes. Tattoos aren’t really cutie marks, they’re pictures humans put on their skin using a needle to push ink down deep in the skin where it’s permanent. But I think these tattoos are magical. They aren’t really tattoos at all.”
“Oh my.” Princess Celestia said in a concerned voice. “Lady Teelo are those tattoos what I think they are?”
“Yes.” Teagan said heavily. “Barbed wire.”
“So what happens if we use the Elements of Harmony before defeating Discord?” Twilight asked, although Teagan bet she already knew.
“Well, going by what happened to Princess Celestia—” She hesitated. “Going by that I’d say the necklaces transform into the same living barbed wire that attacked her.”
“Ulp.” Twilight swallowed. “And then?”
“It cuts off your heads.” Teagan answered softly, closing her eyes.
“I don’t want my head cut off.” Pinkie Pie said in a trembling voice. “I need it to eat cupcakes and stuff.”
“So wait. How do we know these things will come off if we do manage to beat Discord?” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“If we defeat Discord it should disrupt all the magic he cast, like the tattoos.” Teagan said. “Plus the fact he promised. He’s never broken his word, has he?”
“No.” Princess Celestia said carefully. “But he’s never been so vicious before, either. You also have to be careful dealing with Discord, Lady Teelo. One misinterpreted word can spell disaster.”
“Well, I’m open to suggestions. In fact I’d love somebody else to take over because I have no freaking idea what I’m doing. I’ve only gotten this far with beginner’s luck and it can’t last.”
“How long until you must face Discord?” Princess Celestia asked her.
“I don’t know. But he’s not exactly the patient type.” Teagan replied.
“He said he would be waiting at the Graveyard of the Forgotten, in the Forsaken Forest. That’s northeast of here, near the border of the Griffon kingdoms.” Twilight said. “Even by chariot it would take five or six hours to get there.”
“I fear we have little time then.” Celestia murmured. “No more than an hour or two at best.”
“Twilight, you’re the genius. Any ideas?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“If it wasn’t for Discord’s magic I bet the six of us could take him.” Twilight said slowly. “But his magic is too strong, not even Princess Celestia could stand against it.”
“He caught me by surprise, my faithful student. Still, I must admit he bested me.” The princess said reluctantly. “And by the rules I cannot face him with you.”
“Well, while you guys talk strategy I’m going to find a weapon. Maybe I can be the monkey wrench in Discord’s gears. Sun Hammer, would you help me please?”
“Aye, lassie.”
“Sun Hammer?” Princess Celestia interrupted in a sweet friendly voice.
“Aye, Yer Highness?”
“Give her any weapon she wants my dearest friend. Any weapon at all.”
“Oh, aye.” He grinned, baring his huge teeth. “Nothin’s ta guid fer the lairge lassie if she can but clout yon nyaff aboot the heid. Maybe clout it aff, aye?” He laughed merrily, a sound that promised mayhem and murder.
The two of them left the eight other ponies discussing strategy and tactics. Teagan hoped Princess Celestia had learned a few nasty tricks in a thousand years that she could pass on to Twilight. Nasty enough to ruin Discord’s whole day…
“Tell me, lass, what kind o’ weapons are ye happiest wi?”
“Got any guns?”
“Nae, what be those?” He asked as he limped along beside her.
“Guess that would be a no, then.” Teagan sighed. “Maybe a crossbow, but I want something in case I have to get up close and personal. I have a feeling a crossbow bolt would just bounce off Discord anyway. I’m even amazed you have any weapons.”
“Well, A hae ta say most o’ the weapons A keep are from the auld days. Back when ponies were nae so friendly laik. But they be fer ponies, ya ken?”
“What do you have I can use? Even a stick would be better than nothing.”
“Ah, well A think A can do ye better than a stick, lassie. Thay cart all manner o’ odd weapons from thae crabbit fowk ta ma doorstep. Got maself a fair collection, so A dae. A keeps ‘em locked away, ‘cause some be magical and bealin tae be kept by cuddies, ye ken. Watch yer step aboot some o’ ‘em, lassie. They bite if ye turn yer back, so thay dae.”
“Are they alive?” Teagan asked, surprised.
“A jalouse mayhap’s the case.” Sun Hammer admitted. “Some be honest wood an steel, ye ken, shaped tae thair maker’s need. Others—well, the forging o’ such be a matter fer mages, nae the laiks o’ this cuddie. Who kens the mind o’ a mage of another fowk?”
He unlocked a door, how Teagan didn’t see. There seemed to be no key involved, just a set of small levers. He’d used his mouth, but other than that she was clueless.
“Welcome tae ma lair, lassie. Watch yer step.”
They walked into a fair sized room with display cases and racks for various strangely shaped weapons on the walls. The hair on the back of Teagan’s neck immediately stood on end and she looked around nervously.
“Oh, aye. Ye can feel ‘em, cannae ye?” Sun Hammer said approvingly. “Guid lass. Mayhap the Bridge o’ Days is nae so decrepit as A feared.”
“Something’s watching us.” She said. “The magical weapons?”
“Aye.” He nodded. “Can ye spot yon craiturs?”
“That one.” She said, pointing to a large dark iron club lying on a sturdy table. “I can feel it staring.”
“Oh, aye. That be Crush. Nasty bit o’ work.” Sun Hammer said and there was something in his voice that made Teagan turn to look at him. He was staring at the club with up-curled lip, glaring with lowered head. It was clear he didn’t like Crush.
“Does it bite?” She asked. She stepped closer for a better look.
“Nae, the great lump just lies there like a stone. Biding its time, most laikly.” Sun Hammer said disdainfully. “Took four strong Earth ponies tae drag it here, it did. Took twenty unicorns tae lift it onto the table.”
“It doesn’t look that heavy.” Teagan said, surprised. “It looks like something I could actually use.”
Sun Hammer brayed in amusement. “Oh, aye? The Troll King’s own weapon and ye could wield it then? That A’d laik tae see!”
“Wait, Troll King? Didn’t you say something about the Troll King when we first met?” Teagan asked, trying to remember.
“Aye, that’s me. Sun Hammer, daith o’ the Troll King. Ma finest hour—how A became Champion o’ the Sun. An the ruin o’ ma life.”
“Did the Troll King do that?” She said, waving at his scars.
“Aye, lassie, so he did. With Crush.” Sun Hammer nodded. “O’ course he was aimin’ tae cave in the Princess’s skull for her whilst she was busy doing some magical thing tae save Equestria. A had sommat tae say aboot that, ye ken.” He chuckled, a sound without much amusement in it.
“A was a bonnie fine loun, in me prime, proud as a rooster and twae as quick tae fecht, so A was. We set to, an twere a glorious battle. Oh, ye shoulda seen it, lassie! He tore out ma eye wi his claws, and mangled my ear fer me. I broke his leg fer him an just as A was turnin’ back he roasted ma left foreleg wi some Trollish spell. Well, that made me bealin, so it did an A charged straight in laik a damn fool, looking tae tear out his throat wi me teeth cause A was aff me heid from the pain o me leg. He could nae use Crush wi me on top, tramplin’ him, so he started clawing at me. Tore me up right proper he did.”
“He managed tae knock me off him and was bendin’ ower tae pick up Crush when I landed a fair kick to his heid and did tae him what he was planning tae dae tae the Princess.”
“You killed him?” Teagan asked. She wasn’t shocked like she expected to be. Maybe because it sounded like a fair (if brutal) fight.
“Aye. Saved Equestria, an saved the Princess. Lost me life in the doing o’ it, tho.”
“What?” Teagan asked. “But you’re still alive!”
“Oh aye, A’m still breathin’.” Sun Hammer said dismissively. “A still eat, A still walk. But I’m dead all the same. Dead to pony kind. Princess Celestia’s been the only pony who still calls me friend after that day. Well, tae be fair, Princess Luna sees me nae different than any other pony, but all the others shun me.”
“Why? You’re a hero.” Teagan said angrily.
“Aye. But a killer all the same. And that’s a road A can’t come back from. Ye ever killed afore, lassie?”
“No.” Teagan said.
“It changes a pony.” Sun Hammer said. “A’m not the same pony I was before that day.” He shook his head, sending his mane flying.
“Ye plannin’ ta kill Discord?” He asked casually.
“I—I suppose I am. After what he did to Princess Celestia he deserves it.” Teagan said, seeing the Princess bleeding in her mind’s eye and feeling her anger flare.
“Aye, A suppose he does. But let me lairn ye this, lassie. When you’re standing against him and the fecht runs hot in yer blood, if yer gonna kill him, ye gotta mean it. Ye ken? When pushin’ comes tae shovin’ and you’re stuck all fankle in it it’s too late fer half measures. Ye better mean it, or ye will nae be coming back. That’s as fair as A can speak, A swear by Celestia her blessed self.”
He stared hard at her.
“Dae ye mean it, lassie?”
“If I have to fight him he won’t be hurting anyone else ever again.” Teagan swore, and meant it.
“Fair enough. Let’s see how ye fare with Crush then. Go on.” Sun Hammer pointed his nose at the club.
Teagan grabbed the club by the handle and froze as she felt a stirring in her mind.
Eyes opened inside her head and stared at her. They weren’t angry eyes, but she felt them studying her. Waiting.
Can you kill a god? She asked the eyes silently. They blinked once, clearly not expecting the question.
Can you? The voice echoed through her body, rumbling like an earthquake.
He hurt my friends. He tried to kill one of them. I’m not going to let him do that again. Teagan felt her anger growing as she once more remembered Celestia bowed, bloody and defiant. Whatever it takes, Crush.
The eyes closed and the silent voice spoke again.
We shall see.
Teagan came back to herself, still gripping the dark iron club by the handle. Tentatively she tried to pick it up, amazed when the three foot length of knobby dark iron rose in her fist like it was made of paper.
Sun Hammer backed several steps, clearly shocked to his core.
“I dinnae believe it!” He said in a stunned voice. “Four strong earth ponies it took tae drag that here! How are ye doin’ that?”
“We came to an understanding.” Teagan said. “I need some way to carry this.”
“On the table, lass. The long thing wi the rings.” Sun Hammer shook his head in disbelief as Teagan slid the club through the rings and nestled the head of the club at the base of the scabbard. She weighed the combination in her hands, guessing it weighed maybe a couple of pounds. Shrugging she slung the scabbard over her shoulder and shortened the carrying strap until it was comfortable.
“Sun Hammer, I’ve never been in a real fight before. We’ve got maybe a half hour before we have to leave. Any advice?”
“Aye. A’m sending ye to yer daith.” Sun Hammer said gloomily. “A just hope Discord knows less about the fecht than you do, lassie. Or you’ll last aboot as long as grass on the fire.”
“Less gloom, more advice.” She said.
“Aye. With yon club, ye got three things ye can do. Ye can dodge your opponent, and that’s not to be mocked, it’ll keep ye alive! Second, ye can block a weapon wi it, but that means ye’ll be in trouble if your enemy knows what thair aboot. Or third, ye can hit ‘em.”
Sun Hammer grinned cheerfully and proceeded to spend fifteen minutes telling Teagan exactly where to hit them. He made sure she understood what would happen when she did it right and how badly dead she would be if she did it wrong. When he was done she was a bit green from how graphic his descriptions had been.
“Now, lassie, ye ain’t ready to face him, but ye are gonna dae it anyways, so go to it.” Sun Hammer said gruffly. “A’ll be asking any kindly spirits tae watch over ye but fer Celestia’s sake, remember tae duck ye bampot O’Gara! Remember what A said aboot fechtin’ fair?”
“It’ll get me killed.” Teagan said. “Cheat like crazy if I want to live.”
“Aye.” Sun Hammer nodded. “A’m not saying guid bye, ye ken? Ye be Lady Teagan o’ the Clan O’Gara and I expect ye tae come back and tell me aboot it how you came back and he dinnae! Now go knock that nyaff’s head off!”
“Thank you, Sun Hammer.” She hugged him. He blew her hair lightly, just like a pony from home would have done.
“Let’s get back to the others. Maybe Twilight’s got a plan by now.” Teagan said, letting go. “You know something, Sun Hammer? I would be proud to call you friend, and have you call me Teelo.”
“Oh, aye?” The pony asked, studying her. She nodded, firmly. “Well then, Teelo let’s see what nasty business yer friends hae cooked up fer yon nyaff.”
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Another great chapter. This really deserves more views.
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It really does. I love this story and Teelo is a wonderful character.
Wait... there are other bronies that think that Discord is a bully and not some loveable trickster? Colored me somewhat surprised.
Teelo you are indeed made of awesome and badassery, female or not she has quite a pair on her to say all that is Discord. Sun Hammer is coming in a very close second.
Great chapter, and now I wonder how my Equestria would aid Teelo... something with the proper application of heavy artillery.
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Actually, got that covered Paladin...
This has gone from very good to excellent to downright awe-inspiring.
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I think you definition of heavy artillery is different from mine. I'm thinking more along the lines of the Royal Navy's AirWarships aiding in the fight.
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You'll have to wait and see. However, I believe you are seriously underestimating the sheer volume of whoop-ass the canon mane 6 can unleash all by themselves. Not to mention it is unwise to piss off a red-haired teenage girl when she's just got a shiny new club...
Oh. Did I forget to mention Pinkie's new toy? (whistling innocently)
1415510
I guess I am but I am a firm believer in the explosives... wait... PInkie? As in Pinkie Pie? They let her near any kind of weaponry? Oh Dear Epona.... Discord is so screwed
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Now I'm scared, but damn the Epic Battle of Good v. Evil is going to be AWESOME!!
Wow, a typically Scottish character that, as a Scotsman, I don't want to beat with a stick for horrifically screwing up the accent! Well done!
Also, this is getting really good. Well done, you've drawn me in. Have a like.
Hmm, that’s what that was. This reads a lot more like a movie than a book. I like it.