My Little Teelo

by Ardwolf

The Bunny Slippers Of Doom

Teagan emerged from the chariot to find her friends already gathered together. She and Twilight joined them and the pegasus guards closed in around them protectively.

“Greetings, Lady Teagan.” A dark gray earth pony with dark green mane and tail bowed to her. She noticed his cutie mark was a gold pocket watch and he had a pair of horn rimmed glasses balanced on his wide nose. A brace of slender saddlebags was draped over his back, from which protruded a number of notebooks and writing implements.

She tried to keep her smile warm and friendly and stifle the laugh that threatened to overwhelm her. He reminded her of a pony version of Alfred, Batman’s butler.

“I am Pinstripe Tock, the Royal Organizer.” He said, somewhat pompously. “The Princess has requested your group be given accommodations during your stay at Canterlot Castle. I have arranged for you to stay in the Ghrian Suite, which I’m sure you will find quite satisfactory. I am informed their Royal Highnesses are eager to speak with you once you’ve been settled. If you will follow me, please?”

Teagan found the experience enlightening. She and her friends walked after the gray earth pony through the doors and into what she could only think of as Cinderella’s Castle. The hallways were soaring and arched, at least two stories tall. Two of her stories, she bet it was three by pony standards. The floors were marble and patterned in a checkerboard of rose and spring green. The walls were white and covered with artwork, from portraits to landscapes to abstracts. Pedestals holding small sculptures were common, as were larger pieces.

Teagan felt a haunting sense of familiarity, not as though she’d been here before, but as if she’d suddenly run across a McDonalds while visiting Italy. It wasn’t that she knew this castle—it was more like she was at home in places like this.

Which was ridiculous, of course, she’d never set foot in a castle in her life.

But the feeling of familiarity wouldn’t go away, like a buzzing fly trapped by a window.

Once they reached the suite Teagan discovered her status as scion of Clan O’Gara was a much bigger deal than even the guard escort had prepared her to believe. The suite itself was huge, almost a mini-mansion within the castle. It consisted of a dozen bedrooms, each with its own sitting room and bathing facility, along with a private dining room big enough for two dozen diners. There was also a study for private meetings.

She even had a pair of chambermaids, or so the two young mares identified themselves. One was a unicorn the other an earth pony named Pentas and Lantana respectively. Pentas took her knapsack and before she could blink had transferred the contents into a large dresser.

Lantana busied herself building a fire, which would have been fascinating to watch, but Pinstripe Tock gently cleared this throat.

“Their Royal Highnesses are waiting, Lady Teagan. The maids will attend to your friends’ belongings as well as your own, we should be going now.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to keep the Princesses waiting.” Teagan managed another friendly smile, keeping her composure in place with white knuckled determination.

We’re going to see both of them? At once? This must be a bigger mess than I thought.

Teagan kept her face pleasantly neutral as Pinstripe lead the group from the suite. Half a dozen of the Sun Shield flanked the group, faces rigidly serious, two on each side and two behind them. Teagan knew they were there to protect her, but it still sent cold chills down her spine that the Princess thought she needed this much muscle to keep her safe inside the castle itself.

What was the mission going to be like?

“I can’t believe she gave us the Ghrian Suite.” Twilight said, keeping her voice low.

“Why? What’s special about it?” Teagan asked from the corner of her mouth.

“If you don’t count the Princesses’ own private chambers the Ghrian Suite is the finest in the castle. It’s reserved for use by diplomatic envoys of important Equestrian allies when they visit.” Twilight said quietly.

“You do realize that scares the crap out of me, right?” Teagan said in a low voice so Pinstripe and the guards couldn’t hear. “You guys may rate something like that but I’m just a schoolgirl that got myself kidnapped. I’d be a lot happier in Fluttershy’s guestroom.”

Twilight snorted in amusement. “What makes you think we rate something like the Ghrian Suite? I may be Princess Celestia’s personal student but trust me—my old quarters were nowhere near that luxurious. The Ponyville Library’s a lot bigger and has more books.”

“Trust you to use books to measure luxury.” Teagan chuckled in spite of herself. “You want to hear something weird?”

“What?”

“One of the games my dad taught me was called Guess The Turn. I’ve been playing it as we’ve been walking—and I haven’t been wrong yet.”

“Why is that weird?” Twilight asked.

“Because I’ve never been here before. I should lose at least half the time.” Teagan answered. “Watch. He’ll go left.”

Their guide indeed turned left.

“Next staircase we go down.” Teagan said. They came to a broad staircase and their guide lead them down it.

“Those doors, they lead to the throne room, right?” Teagan asked softly.

“Yes. How did you know that?” Twilight asked, pricking her ears forward alertly.

“No idea. Ever since we got here I’ve had the most annoying sense that all this is familiar. Not so much this particular castle, but castles in general.”

“Lady Teagan, we are about to enter the throne room.” Pinstripe Tock said haughtily. “Since the princesses are expecting your arrival the correct protocol is to walk forward until you are about ten feet from the base of the throne dais, then bow and address first Princess Celestia, then Princess Luna. The correct form of address is Your Royal Highness for both Princesses on your first address. Subsequently you may address them as Your Highness or reply to their questions using ma’am. If you should find yourself forgetting protocol, you may address them simply as Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Although this is considered a faux pas it is still adequate courtesy.”

“Do you have any questions, Lady Teagan?”

“No, that seems simple enough. Thank you for the information, Pinstripe Tock.”

“You’re quite welcome, Lady Teagan.”

He gestured to one of the gray unicorn guards flanking the door. Without changing expression or moving the two guards’ horns lit up and the massive throne room doors swung open silently.

Pinstripe Tock led them into the huge throne room. It was literally the length of a football field and absolutely filled with elegantly dressed ponies of all colors and types.

Teagan felt her stomach knot as she followed the dapper earth pony toward the throne. About a dozen strides into the massive room he stopped and announced in a surprisingly loud voice:

“Your Royal Highnesses, gentle colts and ladies of the court, may I present Lady Teagan Laoise, scion of Clan O’Gara, and also the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack.”

Teagan thought her heart was going to stop.

Every single eye in the throne room turned to watch them. It took every bit of courage Teagan had to take that first step forward under the massed gaze of the royal court. But the second was easier and the blush was gone by the time Pinstripe Tock stepped aside and bowed, motioning them forward with his foreleg.

She stopped at the correct distance and made a deep curtsey, lifting her skirts slightly.

“Greetings, your Royal Highness Celestia. It’s an honor to meet you. Greetings Your Royal Highness Luna, it is a great pleasure to meet you again.”

“Greetings, Lady Teagan. We are deeply honored to have a scion of Clan O’Gara set foot in Canterlot for the first time in Equestria’s long history.” Princess Celestia said in a warm gentle voice that none the less carried to the far corners of that gigantic room. “My sister informs me that you prefer to be called Teelo, is that correct?”

“Yes, ma’am, by those I like or those I respect. I would be honored to count you in that number.”

“Then I would be happy to do so, Lady Teelo.” The white winged unicorn said. She stood up and gracefully walked down the steps of the dais. A whisper ran through the room as if her action surprised the watchers.

Celestia was a good six feet tall; she towered over every other pony in the room, even the massive royal guards. Her horn was well over two feet in length and yes, needle sharp, Teagan noted. Just like her sister, Celestia was a living spear, one the size of a tall horse.

She had purple eyes and a massive golden collar set with a large purple gem. Her wings were huge in comparison to other pegasi.

The thing that really made Teagan’s breath catch in her throat was the Princess’s mane and tail. They were enormous waves of colored light instead of hair, constantly waving in a wind that affected nothing else. The alicorn radiated a sense of peace that made Teagan never want to leave her presence.

“Nach bhfuil dearmad Capaill.” Celestia said softly, then stepped forward and draped her head over Teagan’s shoulder in a gentle embrace.

The Princess was warm, like the sun on your face. Instinctively Teagan reached up and caressed the alicorn’s neck then hugged her back.

The throne room erupted in a storm of gasps and outraged murmurs. The alicorn held the embrace for a few more seconds then released Teagan, who reluctantly let go.

“My subjects do not approve.” The Princess whispered and winked, smiling. Her words were almost inaudible amid the outraged hum of hushed conversation that still ran around the room. None of the royal guards had moved a muscle during the encounter, staring straight ahead, seemingly oblivious.

It was then Teagan realized what she’d done. She had actually hugged a royal princess in her own throne room. And not just any princess, an immortal goddess who had ruled Equestria since their history began. In front of her entire court, no less.

She was so dead.

Teagan felt the blood drain from her face as she noticed Luna walk purposefully down the dais steps to join her sister.

“It is good to have a scion of Clan O’Gara in Equestria, Lady Teelo.” Luna boomed. Now she understood why Luna spoke the way she did. It was simply so everyone in this cavernous room could hear her.

She must spend a lot of her time here then, Teagan thought.

“The honor is mine, Princess Luna.” Teagan replied. Formally, almost hesitantly Luna stepped forward and put her head over Teagan’s other shoulder, embracing her like her sister had done. Where Celestia had been warm like the sun, Luna was cool, exuding a sense of mystery, even excitement. Figuring she’d already burned all her bridges Teagan gently hugged the dark blue alicorn as she had her sister.

She felt the muscles under her arms twitch, then relax. Luna pulled back and Teagan let go.

“It has been far too long since we parted from Clan O’Gara.” Luna boomed. “It is good to meet long sundered kin.”

The volume of buzzing conversation doubled with Princess Luna’s comment. Teagan caught the two sisters’ half smiles and suddenly realized they were deliberately tweaking the noses of their court. She relaxed, realizing she hadn’t committed lese majesty after all.

Princess Celestia turned her attention to the court.

“Know, my faithful subjects,” She addressed them using the Royal Canterlot Voice, which seemed to shock the court into instant silence, “that Lady Teagan is under our royal protection. Any creature that offers her harm will suffer the Wrath of the Sun.”

The silence was absolute. The ponies of the court stood stock still, staring, some with open mouths.

“Lady Teelo, my faithful student Twilight Sparkle, we need to confer with you and your friends. Come with us please.” The princess spoke softly. “There is much to discuss.”

ooOoo

Back in the Ghrian suite the two maids had long since finished their tasks and left the room. Pentas had placed Teagan’s bunny slippers by the head of the bed to wait for their owner’s return. The lights had been extinguished so the only illumination was cast by the flickering fire.

The bunny slippers eyes popped open and peered around. Seeing no one each slipper grinned, a feral grin that bared lots of teeth. Legs suddenly sprouted from the slippers and they scurried to the closest open window, hopping through it and falling five stories to the grassy knoll below, landing as softly as normal slippers would have.

Sniffing about the two creatures found the scent they were seeking and scuttled away, chittering with mad delight.

Five stories above the empty suite was quiet, the only sound the crackling of the fire in the hearth.

ooOoo

Princess Celestia led the group around the back of the throne dais to an inconspicuous door which opened with a glow from her horn. A long hallway led to a T intersection, and Celestia went left.

Several turns later they entered what Teagan took to be a conference room. There was a table surrounded by cushions and two padded stools, one larger than the other.

Princess Celestia gracefully indicated that Teagan should take the larger stool and Spike the smaller. She seated herself on Teagan’s left. Teagan vaguely remembered that being on Celestia’s right was supposed to be an honor. Sitting in Celestia’s aura was giving her a contact high, especially each time the light of her mane happened to touch the girl.

Luna was on Celestia’s left and Twilight Sparkle was between Teagan and Spike, with the other ponies arranging themselves at random. Rarity ended up next to Luna.

“I thought I’d begin by telling all of you what my Horns have discovered. Then my faithful student you can tell me your latest findings.”

“Of course, Princess Celestia.” Twilight said, almost vibrating with attention.

Princess Celestia composed herself for a moment and then began.

“Upon receiving your initial letter I immediately inspected Discord’s statue but found nothing amiss. No one had tampered with it and there was no magical activity that I could detect. My Horns spent two days going over the statue.”

“What are Horns, Your Highness?” Teagan asked.

“They’re a group of magical investigators, Lady Teelo. Unicorns trained to detect evidence of the faintest magical activity.” The princess explained. “Twilight, are you familiar with the Bridge of Days?” Celestia asked her student.

“Yes, Princess Celestia. As it happens I was telling Teelo that story on the way to Canterlot.”

“The Bridge Of Days is how our ancestors came to Equestria at the dawn of our history.” She explained to the other ponies, who’d clearly never heard the story. “It is a long sad tale, one of tragedy and triumph, so much so that I do not have the heart to relate it to you. The Bridge of Days has been all but forgotten by ponies today, and perhaps this is just as well.”

“However, the day Teelo arrived I was awakened by a pulse of magic from the Bridge. That is why Twilight’s report of a stranger found in the Everfree Forest made me profoundly uneasy. I began investigating using both the Horns and my own abilities. There is a strong bond between her and the Bridge. We were able to use that bond to discover her true name and a number of details about her abduction. That’s also when we discovered how Discord had managed to bring her here.”

Princess Celestia regarded Teagan with a look of sympathy.

“There is good news and there is bad news, I’m afraid. The good news is once this has been settled I will be able to return you back across the bridge.”

“I’ll be able to go home? That’s the best news I’ve had since he kidnapped me!”

“What’s the bad news, Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked.

“Discord wasn’t the one who kidnapped her. In fact, as far as we can determine he is still locked in his prison, unable to affect the outside world in any way.”

“It was definitely a male voice.” Teagan said. “I did feel his claws and he was talking about chaos, and not being able to predict what would happen next. From what Twilight tells me it pretty much had to be him. Unless there’s another chaos spirit?”

“No. But I did discover a faint link between Discord and the Bridge of Days. It is nearly undetectable. Discord couldn’t have crossed the Bridge of Days himself. In fact the link is so tenuous no creature, no matter how small, could have used it to cross.”

“What about a tulpa?” Twilight asked, bringing her ears forward. “Tulpas don’t have mass, they’re immaterial. And they can certainly touch things—that tulpa bit me.”

“That is very possible, my faithful student. What it does not explain is how Discord was able to discover the Bridge of Days, how he managed to do so from inside his prison, or how he managed to fashion a tulpa, bound as he is. There are only a handful of magic users powerful enough to even talk to Discord now, much less accomplish this. My sister, myself, and the leader of the Horns could do so. One or two other rulers whose kingdoms lay many weeks journey from here also have sufficient power.”

“If it had been one of these I would have known.”

“So what you’re saying is there’s an unknown magic user who is almost as powerful as you are but so sneaky you can’t detect them?” Teagan asked apprehensively.

“That bodes ill.” Luna said, for once not speaking loudly.

“I fear that is the case, Lady Teelo.” Celestia admitted. “This is why I dare not return you across the Bridge. Until we know what is going on it would be too dangerous.”

“This is all about me, isn’t it?” Teagan said heavily. “Somehow I’m the key to whatever this mysterious magician is planning. I’m this scion thing, a link between our worlds. Tell me, Princess; does my being here create a strain in reality or something?”

“What do you mean?” Princess Celestia was giving Teagan her full attention, which meant Teagan wasn’t asking a stupid question. And that scared her.

“The fact I crossed over the bridge physically, does that make the link something like a big rubber band stretched tight? Could that, I dunno, be used like a battery to cast some big spell?”

“It might.” Luna said thoughtfully. “But we cannot see what purpose it could serve.”

“Destroy the Bridge, maybe?” Teagan asked. “What would happen if the Bridge was broken?”

The two sisters stared at each other with concerned expressions.

“The energy unleashed would probably kill both Luna and myself and lay waste to Equestria. Perhaps the old world as well.” Celestia said, looking troubled. Her words left the others in shock.

“Would Discord want that to happen? Could something like that break him out of his prison?” Teagan asked.

“Almost certainly. The destruction of the Bridge of Days would certainly destroy the Elements of Harmony and it is their power that keeps him trapped.”

“Well, we’ve nailed down method and motive, now all that’s missing is opportunity.” Teagan said.

“What are you talking about, darling?” Rarity asked, puzzled.

“When you want to prove someone committed a crime you need to prove they had a motive, an opportunity, and a method of committing the crime.” Teagan explained. “We know Discord wants out of prison. We know how he could do it, what we don’t know is what opportunity he needs to actually pull it off.”

“Were you an investigator in your world, Lady Teelo?” Celestia asked, smiling.

“No, but I’ve watched a lot of cop shows.” Teagan said, blushing. “Of course I might be wrong but it does fit everything we know.”

“It does indeed. Frighteningly well.” The princess nodded. The fact Celestia was agreeing with her made Teagan swallow. If she were right they faced the end of the world.

And somehow she and a half-dozen talking ponies were supposed to stop it? Right…

“So back to this mystery magician for a minute. Is it reasonable to think they somehow snuck into the palace, right under Princess Celestia’s nose, conspired with Discord to free him, and then sent a tulpa over the Bridge to bring me here?” Teagan asked.

“What bothers me,” Applejack spoke up, “is Ah can’t see what’s in it fer the mystery mage. How do they get their two bits if’n the world goes boom? Less’n they was just that ornery.”

“Say that again.” Twilight said suddenly.

“What? Ornery?” Applejack asked.

“Not ornery. Angry.” She corrected. “What if our mystery mage isn’t in it for money? What if they want revenge?”

“Revenge on the whole world?” Fluttershy asked. “How could anypony be that angry? Wouldn’t they suffer along with everypony else?”

“Not if Discord was in charge.” Teagan said grimly. “He’s powerful enough to make sure his friend had whatever they wanted. A kingdom of their own, maybe? Servants to wait on them hand and foot? A stable part of the world while Discord plays with the rest? I bet they’d have their pick of ponies begging to become slaves just to get out of the chaos.”

“I likes you jes fine, Sugarcube, but sometimes I just gotta wonder what kinda world you come from that you can think all villain-y like that.” Applejack commented in the shocked silence.

“Is it a dumb idea?” Teagan challenged the pony.

“Nay, Lady Teelo. When we were consumed by Nightmare Moon many such thoughts did crawl through our mind like maggots.” Princess Luna said heavily. “We, at least, have no trouble understanding such a mind, having fallen prey to madness ourselves.”

“I want to see him.” Teagan said suddenly. Princess Celestia looked grave.

“Are you certain, Lady Teelo? Would it not distress you?” The white alicorn asked gently.

“No, Princess, it won’t. I want to see this monster. I want to look him in the eye and rap my knuckles on his stone flesh and know he’s still trapped. Then I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”

The sisters exchanged glances.

“Sister Tia, we think Lady Teelo needs to do this. Indeed, if we ever doubted she was the scion of Clan O’Gara we do so no longer.”

“Very well. Everyone please gather in a circle, I’ll take us to the garden.” The princess commanded. When they had obeyed Celestia’s horn emitted a flash of light and they were in the garden, dimly lit by moonlight.

“Is that him?” Teagan asked, seeing a serpentine white blob in the darkness. “Is there any more light?”

“Not a problem.” Twilight answered, her horn starting to glow brightly. Rarity joined her and both Celesta and Luna graciously lit their horns as well.

“Thank you.” Teagan said and moved forward. From the light of the unicorn horns she could see the statue quite easily. Studying it for a moment, she burst out laughing.

“Lady Teelo?” Princess Celestia was clearly taken aback. “Are you all right?”

“I was scared of this?” Teagan asked scornfully. “That has got to be the dumbest look I have ever seen! Imagine being turned to stone with that look on your face for all eternity!”

Contemptuously she moved forward and lightly punched Discord in his stone stomach.

“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie said excitedly. “Big old Meanie! We sure showed him! Teelo’s right, that’s a dopey expression! Not to mention he’s wearing bunny slippers.” She fell on her back and laughed hysterically, waving all four legs in the air. “Who wears bunny slippers to rule the world?”

Teelo looked down and nearly fainted.

“Oh crap!” She yelled, scrambling backward frantically. “Princess! Discord’s free!” She didn’t know how, but she knew with stone cold certainty she was right.

The bunny slippers opened their eyes and began to laugh, a horrible chittering laugh that got louder and deeper as the slippers started to expand, slowly covering the statue’s legs. As they did they started to change color, one leg green the other tan. The smooth marble turned to scales and fur as the slippers grew like a time-lapse movie of moss growing. It rapidly raced up his body as the laughter drew deeper and deeper until the final trace of white vanished. The stiffness of a statue faded away and became the boneless grace of a serpent uncoiling.

The monster threw back his head and the mad laughter was replaced by a scream, half dragon, half pony, all rage.

His head came down and focused on the group in front of him and he smiled an insanely cheerful smile. Extending one eagle-like talon he pointed at Teagan and the massed ponies.

“Bang. I win.” He said.

A massive blaze of lightning stabbed out of the sky and slammed into the group. It threw Teagan a dozen feet away to land in a dazed aching heap.

Her ears ringing too loudly to hear anything, half blind from the flash, she looked back toward Discord as he floated upward. She could see that Luna was down, and her friends were scattered across the garden. They weren’t moving.

Only Princess Celestia was stirring, she staggered to her hooves and glared up at Discord.

“Oh my, Celestia, are you not feeling well?” Discord asked sweetly. The alicorn’s horn flared and her wings snapped out, ready to lift her into battle.

“Oh no, no, no, that won’t do at all!” Discord shook his head and snapped his fingers. Instantly something silvery whipped out of the ground and enveloped the alicorn, who screamed. A bubble of light exploded from her body, forcing the silver strands away from her. They slithered like hungry tentacles over the surface of the bubble screeching like nails on a chalkboard.

“You lose, Celestia!” Discord bellowed in a voice that any demon would have envied. It was echoing and discordant and sounded as though more than one person was speaking. “I win! You stole this world from me once you filthy brood mare and now I’m taking it back!

The tentacles tightened, causing the light bubble to shrink.

“Never!” The alicorn screamed in defiance, but stood blowing as though she had run a race. Her horn still pointed defiantly at Discord, not wavering. The bubble shrank further as the tentacles tightened their grip. More sprang from the ground and joined the rest, causing the alicorn to tremble from the added pressure.

Lines of dripping red crisscrossed Princess Celestia’s heaving flanks. She was bleeding from multiple slashes across her body.

Teagan got to her feet and staggered toward the trapped alicorn. She didn’t have a plan, she was moving on instinct. When she got close enough she stopped in shock. Feeling sick to her stomach she stared at the silver tentacles, finally recognizing them.

Barbed wire.

Princess Celestia was encased in a net of living barbed wire, her bubble just inches away from her skin. And from the look of things she wasn’t going to be able to hold the bubble very much longer.

Comments

[Celestias Paladin]

Well ... shit. This won't end well... for Discord.