My Little Teelo

by Ardwolf

The Razor's Edge

“Really Teelo, was that supposed to outwit me?” Discord asked, tsking. “The lot of you fell for the oldest trick in the book! If this is the level of challenge you’re going to offer me it’s going to be a very short fight!”

He put up his mismatched hands in a classic boxer’s pose.

“So? Let’s see what you’ve got!” He invited with a grin.

A rock caromed off the back of his head, making him stumble forward. His eyes lit up and Little Pinkie roared again, knocking Discord off his feet.

“I actually felt that one.” He said, laughing. He waved a paw and the light disappeared out of his eyes. “I’m ready for that trick now, Twinkle Sparklight.” He sneered, getting to his feet.

“Twinkle Sparklight?” Twilight screeched in rage. Suddenly Discord’s feet whipped out from under him and he found himself dangling in mid-air before rapidly and repeatedly being slammed headfirst into the ground. The draconequus was laughing with each blow. Twilight paused, unsure of what was happening.

“I’m ready for that trick as well, you hack.” He said between chuckles.

“Oh yeah? Try this one, Discord!” Suddenly the Chaos Spirit found himself in a rapid flat spin, spinning so quickly he couldn’t see anything but a blur. Suddenly his flat spin started rotating at ninety degrees, the combined spins rapidly making him so nauseas he found himself violently sick.

Little Pinkie roared again and he went flying, still spinning to slam into another monument, smashing through it to land on the other side—where Applejack was waiting. She gave it her best shot and bucked him in the head with all her strength.

Discord shot upright from the force of the kick and swayed on his feet for a couple of seconds before his eyes quit spinning.

“Pretty birdies.” He murmured, watching the little tweeting birds as they flew around his head.

“Nopony. Hurts. My. Friends.” Looking down he found himself confronted with Fluttershy in full Stare Master mode.

“Not now, dear, I have a splitting headache.” He said before she captured his gaze. Between the massive migraine and the remaining tendency for the world to spin Discord found it impossible to break Fluttershy’s gaze.

“I try never to hate anypony, Discord, but you made that impossible, didn’t you? You tried to hurt my friends, you did hurt Princess Celestia and I’m going to hold you here and let Teelo bash you with her nasty club, you big Meanie! Bash you until you stop being a problem. And when she’s done making sure you’re not a problem anymore I’m going to call all my sharp-toothed woodland friends and tell them it’s time for supper.”

From the corner of his eye he saw Teagan march forward and raise her club. There was a grim look on her face.

With a supreme effort he materialized a pair of sunglasses on his nose, blocking his view of Fluttershy’s eyes. As Teagan raised the club Fluttershy’s hold on him shattered and he teleported away, just a few yards.

Unfortunately, he ended up right next to Rarity. The unicorn wasted no time spinning and landing a powerful kick to his hip. It staggered him. He teleported again.

Only to hear Little Pinkie roar and smash him in the back of the head, making him land on his face. His migraine grew worse, the rock cake adding its own voice to the crescendo of pain.

“Enough!” He roared, leaping to his feet. He pointed an eagle talon at Pinkie Pie and blasted Little Pinkie with a lightning bolt.

It didn’t have the desired effect. Instead of destroying the rocket launcher it caused Little Pinkie to malfunction and fire round after round straight into his face. Five rounds smashed into him before the rocket launcher fell silent. Each round made the headache worse and made him stagger backwards.

Enraged now he used magic to lift Pinkie off her feet and smash her into the ground several times. Limp and unmoving the pink pony flew to land a few feet from Discord in a boneless heap. Roots twisted out of the soil, trapping the unconscious pony against the ground.

Another kick struck home, this time to the back of his knee. The leg collapsed and a stab of pain shot through the joint making him roar in fury. He turned and backhanded Rarity with his lion’s paw, spinning her half around and slamming her into the ground. She struggled weakly as roots exploded from the earth and engulfed her. Even the relatively feeble blow he’d managed left her half-conscious.

Glaring around and limping from Rarity’s kick Discord found Applejack charging him. He smirked viciously and turned the ground under her feet into quicksand. Before she knew what was happening she had sunk up to her neck. Then the ground became solid again, trapping her.

A scream of rage from above warned him just in time and he teleported away as another mushroom cloud exploded upward from where he’d been. Snarling he swatted Rainbow Dash out of the air with a giant flyswatter, watching in cruel satisfaction as she hit the ground and bounced a couple of times, finally skidding to a stop. Roots grabbed the semi-conscious pegasus and held her, even pinning her outspread wings flat to the ground.

A huge monument flew through the air and smashed him into the ground. Screaming he smashed his way out and pointed a talon at the purple unicorn. Roots quickly ensnared her, forcing her head to one side and completely encasing her horn in gnarled wood. They yanked her to the ground and pinned her there. She could still glare at Discord from the corner of her eye, but couldn’t bring her horn to bear, even if it hadn’t been smothered in six inches of hard fibrous roots.

Discord felt himself knocked to the ground as a high-pitched feminine shout rang out. His lion paw was twisted behind his back and his head forced cruelly backward. He could see Teagan running forward, her magical club raised and glowing slightly.

It would have worked on a normal creature like a bear, or even a massive wolf. But Discord was, while admittedly a chimera, primarily a dragon, meaning he was long and snake like. This, unfortunately for Fluttershy, included a snake’s tail. Discord snapped his tail around her neck, wrapping it around several times and began to squeeze. Choking, the surprised pegasus released her hold just in time for Discord to roll out of the way of the descending club, which hit the ground instead of his face.

There was a hollow boom and a cloud of dust exploded over the embroiled fighters, hiding everything from view.

Teagan froze, trying desperately to see through the choking dust the club had raised. Suddenly Crush was knocked from her hand and she was seized from behind and lifted into the air, Discord’s hands high on her chest.

“Stupid girl.” Discord whispered in her ear, squeezing sensitive flesh under his hands. Realizing where he was holding her the girl’s face blazed in embarrassment and her hands tried to pull the paw and the talons away.

“You look so fierce with a club, but we both know the truth, don’t we little Teelo?” The voice whispered. “You’re just a helpless little girl pitted against a god. You might as well relax, you can’t fight me. Because I know your weaknesses, Teelo.”

His light hearted chuckle sent slivers of ice through her soul. As the dust finally settled a terrified Fluttershy, her beating wings keeping her weight from strangling her, was thrust into view, still held aloft by Discord’s snake tail.

“You think you’re a grownup, you stupid little tramp?” Discord snarled, pressing her back against him. “You’re just a child! Proud and dim-witted and vain! But one flaw rises triumphant over all the others! You know what it is, don’t you Teelo? Your modesty.”

“I was there when you were cowering in your blankets, afraid to let anyone see your disgusting bare skin! I listened to every word. Religious duty, hah! As if any god would let a pathetic mewling coward like you serve them!”

“I am the only god of this world! Me, Discord, lord of Chaos! And you’re nothing but a worthless bag of bones, you grubby, diseased monkey.”

“I’m going to show all of Equestria just how worthless their heroes really are. A simple spell, little girl, that will let every pony in the world watch the end of this fight. Oh, and of course your dear Princess Celestia will get a front row seat, along with her entire court!”

“Celestia! Can you hear me you filthy brood mare?” He shouted to the sky. Teagan watched in horror as the sky seemed to split apart, turning the entire vault of heaven into a gigantic screen where Princess Celestia and Luna stood magnified to hundreds of times their normal size. The view pulled back to reveal all the elegantly dressed ponies of the court, whose faces now reflected horror at what they were seeing.”

“Oh, God.” Teagan whispered.

“Yes? Oh, you weren’t talking to me. Sorry.” Discord said, chuckling in abrupt good humor.

“Celestia! See your beloved ponies? They’ve been defeated, along with your dear Lady Teagan Laoise, scion of the so-called Clan O’Gara! Gang of chattering monkeys, the lot of them!” Discord shouted up at the sky-spanning image.

“Now watch as I humiliate your champions and claim my final victory, you old nag!” He screamed.

“Poor little Teelo.” He whispered in a voice that echoed through the sky. The talons stopped squeezing her as the lion’s paw spread, claws sliding out to pin her entire chest and force her back against Discord’s body. The talons caressed her face, gently pulling the hair away from her face. They slid down her neck to her shoulder and under the cloth of her shirt, where Discord suddenly ripped through the cloth with razor sharp talons. She gasped as she felt him tear the garment in half, ripping it completely off her.

“Ooh, did the big Meanie rip your clothes?” Discord whispered, his words echoing across the sky. “Well, might as well give you a matched set!” The talons ripped at her legs, destroying her pants. Teagan started to sob. She was mortified this was happening in front of every pony in Equestria, she couldn’t move, she couldn’t think. The humiliation was too much to bear. As the talons gently unbuckled her sandals and tossed them out of the graveyard entirely Teelo let out a despairing wail.

Fluttershy made several choking sounds of protest, her eyes running with tears as she watched her friend shamed in front of her.

The talons pulled the strings of her bra open and discarded the garment behind them. It then started on the ties over her hips.

“No! Please stop! Please!” Teagan did her best to fight, but her last shred of modesty was stripped away and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Discord dropped the weeping girl to the ground contemptuously and teleported a few yards away.

“So much for Lady Teagan!” He shouted up at the ponies watching horrified at his cruelty. “Did you know there’s one area of their body they really do need to cover? Their feet. She said if they hurt a foot, they’re lame! Well, they’re really lame even when their feet aren’t hurt, but that’s another story.”

He chuckled.

“Lady Teagan! You’re free! Why don’t you grab Crush there and try to brain me again? Or are you too embarrassed because they can see you naked?” He laughed a deep booming laugh that signaled imminent loss of control. Lightning flashed across the sky and the tree branches started whipping around in a massive chaotic wind that seemed to blow from all directions at once.

“Oh, but there’s your bare feet to consider.” He said in mock concern. “You don’t dare because you might hurt your little tootsies!” Suddenly, hundreds of glass bottles of all descriptions were floating in a thirty foot circle around the mad Chaos Spirit.

“Oops.” He said with a smile, letting all the bottles fall in a tremendous smashing of glass, leaving a five foot circle of jagged broken bottles surrounding a thirty foot clearing with him and Fluttershy in the middle.

“You cowardly bare-skinned monkey!” He mocked her. “Your pitiful excuse for a god didn’t even see fit to give you fur! What makes you think he even exists?”

“You know, Celestia,” he said conversationally, directing his attention to the viewers in the sky, “the only reason you ever stood a chance against me were those pesky Elements of Harmony. But my little friend tells me the Elements have a grave weakness—literally. They can regenerate, of course, and are really hard to damage…” He grinned.

“However, they do have one critical weak spot. It really couldn’t be helped of course, the creation magic had to enter some place, and the entry has been extremely well warded. That artifact really is a magnificent work of elegant artifice. You’re to be congratulated, and I do mean that.”

“But every artifact has to have one fatal weakness that can destroy it forever. Chaos collects its tab in the end, no matter what.”

“It turns out if you manage to kill the Bearer of the Element of Kindness in a cruel enough way, while the other Bearers watch helplessly, the entry channel that fuels the artifact will burst from the stress. That spills the internal spell structure. It’s sort of like gutting a deer, really.” He smirked.

“Oh, but you ponies wouldn’t know about that would you, you sniveling vegetarians? So let me explain how it works so your feeble minds can comprehend.”

“If that happens, the elements crumble into dust. Now ordinarily I wouldn’t dream of doing such a dastardly deed. But you dared imprison me for a thousand years, and tried to make it two thousand and it was so deadly boring I thought I would go mad. Perhaps I did, Celestia. Perhaps that’s why when Nightmare offered me a way out I took it, even though the price was dear Fluttershy’s life, torn from her in the most prolonged and awful torture you can imagine!”

“Letting you watch is just my little reward to myself for your hubris. You meddled with forces you didn’t truly understand, and you grew proud.”

“And now, Celestia, everything you knew, everything you made, everything you ever loved, dies. And it’s all because of you.”

“Shall we begin, my dear Fluttershy? I’d say this wasn’t going to hurt but I do so hate to lie.” He smiled and his eyes turned red. He waved a hand and an abomination rose from the ground, full of needles and sharp snipping scissors and scalpels. Fluttershy panicked when she saw it, struggling against the tail around her neck and nearly escaping. Discord frowned and grabbed her with his eagle talons, getting a good grip around her neck.

“Sorry, my lovely little pony, but in a few days you won’t be quite so presentable—of course by that time you’ll be—”

Teagan didn’t remember grabbing Crush; she didn’t remember sprinting toward Discord, all she could remember was the blinding pain in her feet and the utter bone-deep certainty she was going to save Fluttershy.

The sound of crunching glass made him turn to see a naked Teagan with Crush held in both hands, feet streaming blood, glaring at him, her long red hair whipping wildly in the chaotic wind.

“You’re bleeding.” He said in a teasing voice, knowing she would faint from the pain before she could attack him.

“I don’t have time to bleed.” She answered, bringing Crush around in a strike that ended against the elbow joint of his eagle’s arm.

Discord howled as the joint snapped with a sickening crunching noise. Fluttershy pulled free from his suddenly limp hand, and bolted, Teagan didn’t have time to see where she went as she prepared to hit Discord again. She planned to keep on hitting him until he stopped moving. Forever.

ooOoo

In the throne room everypony watched as Discord stripped Teagan and her complete breakdown afterward. They might not have understood why but every pony felt her horror at what had been done to her and many were moved to tears.

Sun Hammer stood impassively at the base of the dais, the only hint of emotion his slightly narrowed eyes and unblinking stare. No pony could hear the grinding of his teeth.

Celestia and Luna watched the horrible machine that was intended to inflict hideous agony on the pink and yellow pegasus rise from the ground. Celestia felt sick inside, knowing what the machine was and what it would do to her beloved little pony.

There was a gasp when everyone noticed Teagan grab the magical club and come to her feet, radiating a fury that few of them had ever encountered. They watched with open mouths as she charged across the field of broken glass, blood flying with every step and they saw her slam Crush against Discord’s elbow.

“Gie it laldie!” Sun Hammer bellowed in savage glee, striking the ground repeatedly with his front hooves in the pony version of applause, the razor edged steel shoes nailed to his feet striking sparks from the marble.

That’s when the magical viewport rippled and tore apart, ending the picture.

“Sister!” Luna exclaimed. “Does that mean—”

“Yes!” Celestia’s horn flared as she grabbed the saddlebags that contained the Elements Of Harmony and threw them on her back.

“Luna! The catapult! Use it now!” Celestia commanded, spreading her newly healed wings and crouching.

“ALL PONIES BRACE FOR AN EARTHQUAKE!” Luna’s magically amplified shout rang across Canterlot. “PEGASI INTO THE AIR! EARTH PONIES AND UNICORNS BRACE YOURSELVES! WE ARE ABOUT TO ROCK THY WORLD!”

Across Canterlot startled ponies scrambled to obey the moon princess.

“EARTHQUAKE IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE, NOW.”

In the throne room Celestia snapped her wings downward and leaped toward the throne room’s vaulting six story ceiling. Equestria, the sun, and the moon slowed a tiny fraction of a millimeter per year and the accumulated energy was focused into the spell the two sisters were casting in concert. Both alicorn’s horns flared into an incandescent blast of light and Celestia vanished just before she would have slammed into the ceiling.

The momentum gave Celestia’s teleport an insanely powerful boost—one that would have killed any normal unicorn that tried it. She flung herself through the non-place, hoping against hope she’d arrive in time…

The castle and the city experienced a short sharp snap, as though the earth had twitched to dislodge a bothersome fly. It tossed some ponies off their feet and brought masonry down across the city.

It was a miracle no ponies were crushed by falling debris.

ooOoo

Discord gaped in disbelief as horrible pain shot up his arm. It refused to heal, leaving the Chaos Spirit in agony.

“You actually hurt me!” He squealed in high pitched incredulity. Then his eyes blazed red.

“Hurting me was a mistake!” He roared, rearing up and prepared to smash the insolent girl who’d dared to hurt him. His lion paw, claws extended and spread wide, was poised to tear her open.

But even as he had been threatening her Teagan was bringing Crush around in a strike that buried itself in Discord’s stomach, sinking half way to his back bone and knocking the wind completely out of him. The impact folded him over like a deflated balloon.

The girl used the bounce of Crush off Discord’s stomach to let her spin in the opposite direction and build up momentum in the club.

The club arrived at Discord’s jaw just as the monster’s head came down, snapping his head around hard enough to snap his neck. Instantly, Discord collapsed at the panting girl’s bloody feet.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore!” Discord said, pleased. “Hey, I can’t move!” His eyes widened. “I’m not healing! Why aren’t I healing? What have you done?”

“Crush tells me the injuries it inflicts can’t be healed by magic.” Teagan said flatly, her rage and pain and fear all fusing into one pulsing mass of blinding ferocity. She couldn’t feel her legs any more—she couldn’t feel anything except the fire burning inside her skin, consuming her.

She raised the club, which blazed with a bloody scarlet flame.
“Sun Hammer told me if I got in a fight and planned to kill you I’d better mean it. You know what, Discord?” She asked calmly, almost serenely.

“Now, Teelo, let’s not do anything hasty!” the paralyzed draconequus said desperately.

“I really mean it.”

She brought the club down with every bit of strength and fury she had in her.

As the club descended the sky split open with a mighty roar and the world turned white.

Comments

[Mossy Mare]

Religious duty, hah! As if any god would let a pathetic mewling coward like you serve them!”

I kind of wish she had laughed derisively at him, then quoted Bible verses. It would have been awesome. Something like,

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are,

1 Corinthians 1:27-28

Then laugh in his face one more time, and punch him while he's distracted by the contradiction.

*Edit* Oh wait, he goes on.

“You cowardly bare-skinned monkey!” He mocked her. “Your pitiful excuse for a god didn’t even see fit to give you fur! What makes you think he even exists?”

He insulted my God. He insulted my God.

That made this part much more satisfying for me.

“You’re bleeding.” He said in a teasing voice, knowing she would faint from the pain before she could attack him.
“I don’t have time to bleed.” She answered, bringing Crush around in a strike that ended against the elbow joint of his eagle’s arm.
Discord howled as the joint snapped with a sickening crunching noise. Fluttershy pulled free from his suddenly limp hand, and bolted, Teagan didn’t have time to see where she went as she prepared to hit Discord again. She planned to keep on hitting him until he stopped moving. Forever.

[Ephedianroyalty]

“I dont have time to bleed.”

Great one liner. Spectacular.