Page generated in 0.021 seconds
Total duration
693 users online
994,107 hits today, 2,660,641 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
It is hard to tell what is going on to be honest (not the story, just the action or rather what everyone is doing). However, the mood is very well clear that I could almost taste the rain.
I agree with Joe I am not sure what's going on, but the mood is clear. I feel the rain, the emotions. I can't wait to see what happens next.
11272626
Thank you for the criticism!
Could you give more detail? Or provide examples?
I would like to revise this chapter to your recommendation.
11272880
The same applies to you! Please let me know of any possible suggestions.
Thanks guys!
~ Yr. Indebted Writer, B
11272931
Here for instance. Call me a simpleton but I can't exactly visualise what is going on here. I mean, I get the general idea that Spike has arrived but his means of arrival feels like it's missing a beat. Like why did this stallion block the way? How does the fountain look like? Do you mean the seal of the letter is coloured with a rainbow or did it have Rainbow's symbol with a heart-shape?
Just an example.
11272965
I appreciate this immensely.
Let the revision begin!
So when is the next chapter?
11276435
In a few days! Work has been a slough, lately.
11276468
Got it
I like it. I could see this as a noir film.
Which actually hurts you in a way as the tone is so foreign that I have a hard time recognizing ponyville. I like how we are often missing the Whats and Whys as we are be shown around by Rainbow Dash and she doesn't care. So despite not always understanding things it works.
11278765
Thanks!