15. Chapter Two: "The Secret Ingredient is Never What You Expect" Part 4
Chapter Two:
“The Secret Ingredient is Never What You Expect”
Part IV
The next morning saw me waking up a little later, but it turned out to be beneficial, because when I arrived at the Mess Hall, I found everyone there. Even Cranky and Trixie sitting next to each other. Cranky, I’d been a little afraid would ditch after the way he acted the day before, but seeing Trixie there brought that spot of hope I felt right back.
“Hey hey, little lady!” Cheese said, waving to me and prompting others to wave and greet me as well. “There’s room here between me and Sour Sweet if you need a spot.”
“Thanks,” I said as I gathered up a plate. Not quite as ravenous as yesterday, I kept my breakfast selection fairly limited, something closer to my usual portion size.
As I sat down, Sour Sweet popped the cap off a fresh bottle of Sluggo, prompting Cheese to snicker. “Still sneaking over to grab your soda?”
“Yes,” Sour Sweet snapped as she took a swig. “What’s it to you?”
“Nothing, nothing, it’s just funny,” he said, giving her a friendly wink. “I’m just wondering why you don’t take it all back to your room.”
Sour Sweet snorted. “Because there’s an entire huge cooler’s worth and that’d be a huge pain in the ass.” A smile briefly graced her face. “And as much as I love love love this soda…” she lost her smile. “I don’t love it that much. I’m fine with one a day.”
“Let it go, Cheese,” Cranky said as he picked up his mug of coffee and drank from it. “Trust me, she’s welcome to the stuff.”
“I wasn’t saying she wasn’t,” Cheese said, but he nodded all the same. “Sorry to bug you, Sour.”
“Eh, don’t worry about it,” she said as she gulped down more soda. “I know I’m a weirdo.”
Cranky said something else, but it was lost in the haze of noise all around me. Everyone chatting at once made it difficult to even hear myself think, so I stayed out of most of the conversations.
I did try to start a conversation with Trixie more than once. The first time, she gave me a look, huffed, then stuck her nose up. The second time, she just ignored me, pointedly leaning over to say something to Cranky, who merely glared back.
But once again, there was something just weird about it. There was that… tension, like I scared her a little somehow, and it was so confusing I couldn’t let go of it. But the third time I tried to talk to her seemed to cross a line. She let out a noise of frustration and pointed at me angrily. “Trixie is here at the table, Wallflower. Do not keep pestering her to talk!”
This was the start of A Confrontation, so I was content to just nod. I wasn’t even upset; Just having her here, having everyone here together, talking and laughing, filled me with even more hope.
But unfortunately, not everyone at the table felt the same way I do about the dreaded prospect of A Confrontation. Juniper, from Cranky’s other side, leaned forward, glaring at Trixie. “Hey, she’s just being nice! Don’t be a jerk.”
“She’s…” Trixie cut her own angry response off quickly, snapping her mouth shut as if afraid to commit a social faux pas. After a moment, she spoke again, calmer and haughty. “Trixie is not a jerk for refusing to blindly place her trust in suspicious people!”
“Suspicious?” Juniper growled, rolling her eyes. “Come on, you’re just paranoid. What could possibly be suspicious about Wallflower?”
Cranky leaned forward, clearly annoyed to be in the middle of their quiet but contentious encounter. This had no noticeable effect on Trixie, who fluffed her hair smugly. “Well. If you’re not as observant as Trixie, that isn’t Trixie’s fault, now is it?”
“Hey, no,” Cranky interjected. “Nope. No to that. No talking about anything we’ve observed, or anything we think we know because of it. We aren’t here to figure things out about each other, we’re here to eat breakfast.” His tone was serious, clearly using all the authoritativeness he could muster from his years of teaching. His unspoken meaning was clear, and despite myself, it sent a cold shiver down my spine. He was saying Don’t you dare start talking about who you think might be a pony.
Trixie stiffened, eyes wide. Despite the irrational doubts percolating in the back of my brain, I was still certain enough of my humanness that I wasn’t really scared. Trixie was weird, but no way she could have gotten such a wrong misconception about me.
But I underestimated how weird Trixie was, because after sputtering for a few moments, she pointed at me and fixed Cranky with an ugly stare. “Well, if you want to trust someone who might be a member of APL, be my guest.”
“Gah!” Cranky grunted. “Shh! What is wrong with you?” He looked around frantically; Trixie’s accusation had been quiet enough that only the four of us had paid attention to it, but he still seemed completely flummoxed by it.
“What?” I asked. “A member of…”
“She’s not in APL,” Juniper hissed. “Come on! That’s crazy.”
“The rest of us have reasons to be here,” Trixie hissed back. “But Wallflower’s history with Equestrian stuff isn’t exactly a bunch of happy memories.”
“Uh,” I ventured, “I have no idea what you’re even…”
“Trixie, you’re being an idiot,” Juniper grunted. “Wallflower’s not like that.”
“You don’t know that,” Trixie insisted. “Thanks to her convenient amnesia, she doesn’t even know that! What better cover could a sleeper agent even…”
“For pete’s sake, will you shut the hell up?!” Cranky whisper-growled at her. “Even if you’re stupid enough to think about crap like this, I know you’re smart enough to keep from talking about it in public!”
Trixie frowned momentarily, but then picked up her sandwich, all vanity and self-satisfaction again. “Trixie isn’t accusing anyone of anything. Her humility is legendary; she knows she can’t know anything for sure. She’s simply saying that it’s foolish to close off the possibility that even quiet little harmless Wallflower is dangerous.” She took a bite, clearly sending the message she was getting the last word in whatever conversation we had all just been having.
My confusion had not abated. “What?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Cranky muttered.
“What do you mean, don’t worry about it?” I snapped. “I’m in APL? What does that even…”
“It’s fine,” Juniper interrupted quickly. Whatever this meant, it was clearly something they agreed was dangerous to talk about. But her face relaxed into a rare friendly smile. “They’re bad guys, is all. And you’re not a bad guy.”
It was still a little scary to be out of the loop about something so apparently important, but I found myself simply nodding. I suddenly realized how quickly and automatically Juniper had jumped to my defense. It was strange to think that she’d want to do that, even after the time we’d spent hanging out. It was flattering. And a little unnerving.
“Both of you shut up and eat your damn food,” Cranky said, somehow sounding a little kind. Juniper rolled her eyes good-naturedly and complied. I took another bite, myself. Surrounded by everyone’s conversations, somehow buoyed by the two spikiest people in the whole group, I suddenly felt like we were really all in this together.
Maybe we had a chance.
Aside from Trixie, the only fly in the ointment seemed to be Derpy. Despite the way she’d been getting along with Big Macintosh the night before, she wasn’t sitting next to him this morning. Instead she was sitting next to Sour Sweet, while Big Macintosh was near the other side of the long table. Unlike everyone else, she seemed… pensive. Maybe even worried. She kept fidgeting, and every so often she’d glance around the room. After a while I spotted dark circles under her eyes, and her lips seemed dry, despite her tea.
And she was shivering, like she was cold, despite the morning desert heat.
Given the brief discussion we had over drugs the night before, it left me feeling more than a little concerned. I decided to keep an eye on her, maybe talk to her again later today.
And then I overheard something odd. I barely even caught it in the cacophony of laughter, chatting, and clinking of forks and knives, and only heard it because I happened to be looking in just the right direction.
“...Rarity…”
My head swiveled right for the sound. Derpy was saying something to Sour Sweet about Rarity, and whatever it was made Sour Sweet gasp and stare at Derpy in horror. “Are you serious?” Sour Sweet said.
Derpy nodded, then abruptly got up and left the table, rushing for the exit to the Mess Hall.
I thought about going after her immediately, but Derpy had already promised she’d try to stick near me, so I’d hold her to that. Instead I turned to Sour Sweet. “What did she say?”
Sour Sweet shook her head. “Not here,” she whispered. “I’ll tell you later.”
Worry ate away at my gut for the rest of breakfast. And since it was my turn to do the dishes again, by the time I finally left the Mess Hall to go searching for her it had been nearly two hours of constant worry and consternation.
To my frustration, Derpy made herself scarce, forcing me to search all over the place. I was wandering into the diner and finally about to just give up when I heard a familiar whimper from the diner kitchen.
Poking my head through the double doors, I let out a sigh of relief upon spotting Derpy sitting against the wall. Tears stained her cheeks and filled her eyes with spiderwebs of red. She looked up when she heard me, and sniffled again."Oh…Hi Wallflower."
"Hey… you alright?” I asked gently, squatting down so I could look her in the face more directly. “You left pretty quickly.”
“...I don’t want to talk about it,” Derpy said, suppressing another sniffle. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a tissue, blowing her nose into it. “It’s not important.”
“Are you sure?” I pressed. “Big Macintosh didn’t do anything to you, did he?”
“N-no! No, of course not,” Derpy objected. “He’s been a perfect gentleman.” She frowned a little. “Almost too perfect…”
I sat down the rest of the way onto the floor and scooted over till I was side by side with her. After a bit of hesitation, she leaned against me. “T-thanks,” she murmured.
I smiled back, though it was a bit shaky. Admittedly it was kind of nice having Derpy lean against me, but at the same time I still felt my usual sense of discomfort I always felt whenever anyone touched me. The only exception had been… Sunset…
Horrible, gut-wrenching–
Clamping down on those thoughts required me to grit my teeth from the effort this time.
Derpy leaned more of her weight against me, till she was outright hugging me. “Thanks again for being here, Wallflower. I don’t know what I’d do without you being my friend.”
A tight smile briefly crossed my face as I awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. “That’s what I’m here for…mmhmm.”
We sat like that for a while, but my curiosity wouldn’t hold forever. “Derpy… can I ask you a question?”
She sat up immediately, her eyes scanning me, her motions twitchy like they’d been at the table. “W-what? What is it?”
“So… I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop or anything, I promise,” I prefaced, watching her grow more uncomfortable by the second. “But… I heard you say something to Sour Sweet about Rarity. What did you say, exactly?”
“Say? I, I, I didn’t say anything to Sour Sweet about Rarity,” Derpy said. She let out an uncomfortable, oddly pitched laugh.
I gave her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. “Come on, I’m just asking as a friend. What is it you’re not sharing with me?”
She pulled away, her hands shaking. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“...Derpy,” I said, my voice dropping in pitch as I let a small amount of irritation show. “I know you said something. Sour Sweet wouldn’t tell me at the table. I just want to hear it from you, okay? So will you tell me? Please?”
Derpy’s face paled to a color like sour milk as she stammered wordlessly, shaking her head till she jumped up to her feet. “S-sorry, I…bye Wallflower!”
“Hey, what?” I called out, stretching out my hand as she fled. Before I could even stumble to my feet I heard the diner’s front door open and slam shut. “What the hell was that about?”
I used the nearby counter to brace myself in climbing to my feet, then left swiftly, but there was no chance of tracking her down. Wherever she sped off to, she was gone.
“Fine,” I said, turning for the dorms. “If she won’t tell me what's wrong with her, maybe Big Macintosh will.” He told us yesterday he spent most of his time in his room, so with any luck I’d find him there.
However, the closer I got, the more my confidence waned and my anxiety rose. By the time I was entering the dorm building, my certainty had been replaced by a nervous tension.
Big Mac’s room was on the second floor, so I ascended the stairs and rounded the railing. To my surprise the door was ajar, so I pressed it open, knocking as I did so. “Hello? Big Mac?”
SLAM!
I jumped half a foot in the air as I saw him slam his minifridge door shut, then whirl on me, his expression briefly full of rage. Seeing such a huge, powerful man glare at me like that sent my heart beating into overdrive, adrenaline flooding my system as my nerves abruptly shot themselves. His eyes locked onto me like a predator, and I froze solid from fear.
His gaze softened as he tried to give me a smile. “Err, sorry about that Miss Wallflower, ya done startled me. Ah weren’t expectin’ company. Somethin’ Ah can do you for?”
“Huh?!” I blurted, backing up and knocking my head into the doorframe.
He stretched out a hand, his smile vanishing. “Uh, you alright?”
Wincing, I grabbed the back of my head. “I… I… nevermind!”
I turned and fled before he could say anything else, rushing down the stairs and across the quad to the other dorm building, panting and heaving the whole way, until I was safely ensconced in my room. Only then did my heartbeat begin to slow as I collapsed onto my bed. A few tears ran down my face as I struggled to regain control over my anxiety.
Soon enough, shame overpowered it. I felt like a complete fool, running away from Big Macintosh just because he slammed a refrigerator door. He’d even apologized right afterwards, but nope, I was too much of a coward.
“Ugh.”
Now a sweaty, sodden mess, I decided to peel my clothes off and went for a shower to clear my head, taking extra time to wash my hair and double check my face was good. By the time I was out and wearing fresh clothing, my nerves shifted from frazzled to, if not calm, then at least rested and ready for more.
Deciding to let the desert sun dry my hair for me, I left and headed for the succulent garden, hoping a bit of a walk would help finish the job the shower started. However, as I stepped inside, I noticed Sour Sweet, Fluttershy, and Autumn Blaze all chatting together on one of the benches.
“Oh, Wallflower!” Sour Sweet called out, waving me over. “C’mere. We were just talking about you.”
“You were?” I asked as I walked over, keeping my hands firmly in my pockets.
“Yeah,” Sour Sweet said.
“Everyone’s been a bit more nervous since breakfast,” Fluttershy said. Today her hair covered one of her eyes, though every once in a while she’d run her fingers through it to push it aside. “We were talking about how you seemed all spooked near the end of it.”
I shrugged. “It’s been pretty tense…I’ve been worrying about Rarity.”
“Oooh, stay away from Rarity,” Sour Sweet snapped.
Autumn Blaze gave her a curious look. “Why? Rarity’s never done anything I’ve ever seen. Worst thing she ever did was her shoutouts with… err.. Anyway, what did she ever do to make you worried about her?”
Sour Sweet glanced about evasively before pointedly looking away from Autumn. “...I’ve just been hearing some bad shit about her lately, that’s all.”
Fluttershy sighed. “Sour Sweet, please… Rarity’s perfectly trustworthy.”
“How do you know that, huh?” Sour Sweet whirled on Fluttershy, pointing at her chest. “We don’t know a damned thing about everybody. I mean, fuck, we just had this conversation yesterday, didn’t we? When we were sharing our secrets?”
Fluttershy winced. “Still…”
“Look, I get you’re some kinda nice chick, Fluttershy, but sometimes you can’t trust what you see,” Sour Sweet said. “Like, here, I’ve got a perfect example, and you’re all looking at her.” She pointed at Fluttershy.
Fluttershy meeped and withdrew, further hiding in her hair. “I-I don’t understand.”
Sour Sweet slapped a hand to her face. “Ugh, no, I don’t mean you, idiot. I mean you remind me of the person I’m talking about. I used to be a ballerina when I was real little in school, you know? Dancing and all that shit. And back then I was all sweet, no sour. I hadn’t learned the life lesson I needed to yet.”
“...is this going somewhere?” Autumn Blaze interjected. “‘Cause I’m not usually one to interrupt stories because hey wow stories are great who doesn’t love stories they’re the best thing I swear, but this feels like a sad or mean one and I dunno if I–”
Sour Sweet covered Autumn’s mouth. “Jeez, will you shut up for two seconds?”
After Sour dropped her hand, Autumn mumbled, “Sorry.”
“Anyway, there was this really sweet girl. Pink hair, blue eyes, pale yellow skin, just like Fluttershy,” Sour Sweet continued. “Except she wasn’t Fluttershy, because I’d remember a name like that. She was the best in the class, and I was the second best. I was always trying to improve, but in a nice way, not in a mean way. One day I asked her for some tips. And you know what she did?”
Sour Sweet fell silent for a couple of moments, finally prompting me to ask, “What? What did she do?”
“She gave me tips, alright. The tips of her feet! She fucking tripped me off the stage, where I bashed my head open on a table corner.” Sour Sweet reached up into her hair and parted it, showing off a jagged scar going halfway along the top of her head. “I had to go to the hospital because I got a concussion, and that’s fucking serious when you’re six years old.”
“...might explain a bit of your disposition,” Fluttershy muttered.
Laughing, Sour Sweet clapped Fluttershy on the shoulder. “Harsh burn! But actually, yeah, maybe, brain damage would explain a lot. But what really changed in me that day was, I learned you just can’t trust people. It doesn’t matter if someone seems friendly or nice, they can turn out to be a complete douche. Or worse, they might try to kill you. I don’t think she was trying to kill me, but she sure was trying to take me out of the running. And she did. I never did ballet again.”
“You’re not… mad at me for that somehow, are you?” Fluttershy asked.
Sour Sweet’s expression took on a bizarre mixture of friendliness and anger I’d never seen on someone’s face before. “Why would I be angry at you? You’re not her, you were never her. You just remind me of her because you look similar. You and me, we’re cool, Fluttershy.” She paused. “...Even though you’re a frickin’ girl scout.”
Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief, the sour part of Sour Sweets comment totally rolling off her back. “Thank goodness. I wouldn’t want to be enemies with someone…not…not here.”
“So Sour Sweet, what exactly have you heard about Rarity?” I asked, bringing the subject back to where we started.
She shrugged. “Nothing I really want to repeat, except she’s been acting strange.”
“...she did follow Juniper and me at the truck stop yesterday,” I admitted. “Or at least it felt like that’s what she was doing. She was watching us from behind a truck…disappeared when I went after her.”
Fluttershy sighed again. “Oooh… even I don’t understand what Rarity’s been up to lately. She’s been spending so much time with Vignette Valencia, which is really strange.”
“...why?”
Fluttershy looked at me funny for a moment, then snapped her fingers. “Oh, right, your memory issue… you wouldn’t remember. A few years ago, there was a theme park being opened up and Vignette was in charge of it all. She hired Rarity on as a fashion designer for the parade floats… turns out that she had Equestrian magic in her phone and was using it to zap anyone or anything she didn’t like to a white room.”
“Oh yeah, I think I heard about this,” Sour Sweet said, snickering. “Wasn’t that white room just some random building in the park?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Yes, it was, but we had good reason to think it was something else, because of…well… because of something with Juniper Montage.” She blinked and coughed. “Goodness. I just realized how many former, um, former people-we-had-to-stop are part of this project.”
“Nevermind that, you were saying about Vignette?” Autumn Blaze said.
“Oh, right. So, um, Rarity and Vignette became quite close. More than that, for a while she… she made Applejack really jealous. This was before they were married, but Applejack was always jealous when Rarity spent more time with other women than she did Applejack. But once Rarity realized what Vignette was doing, she turned on Vignette. We later had to use our magic to stop Vignette from zapping the entire crowd away because… well, nevermind. The point is that they never really spoke after that, despite saying they’d become friends.”
“And now she’s fucking joined at the hip with Vignette,” Sour Sweet concluded.
Fluttershy’s face turned a brilliant scarlet. “Oh no, I wouldn’t say she’s doing… that.”
Sour Sweet’s burst of laughter startled Fluttershy and me into twitching, it was so loud and sudden. “I wasn’t saying she was either, fuck, Fluttershy…”
“Um, anyway,” Fluttershy continued, her cheeks so hot I could practically see the heat waves coming off her, “it’s not just that she’s spending time with Vignette. She’s been writing letters to Applejack, even though she can’t send them.”
“Well there’s nothing wrong with wanting to write letters to your wife,” Autumn Blaze said. “Especially not when she’s a total dreamboat like Applejack is. Err, well, you know what I mean.”
“But…this isn’t, um, like writing letters in a diary,” Fluttershy said. “She’s been putting these letters into envelopes, even putting stamps on them and addressing them.”
Autumn’s smile slipped off her face. “That’s… okay, yeah, that’s a little bit weird.”
“Did you read any of the letters?” Sour Sweet asked.
“No, of course not!” Fluttershy gasped. “Why would I ever betray her trust like that?”
Sour Sweet held her hands up. “Hey, just asking, calm down.”
Fluttershy huffed, brushing her hair back. “Well, then don’t ask things like that.” She stood. “Excuse me, I think I need to… go.”
“...Fine, go,” Sour Sweet groused. She hopped up from the bench. “I’m out too…I need something to drink.” She made a beeline for the truck stop.
I turned to leave, but Autumn Blaze grabbed my wrist. “Wallflower, hey, before you go,” she said, letting go the instant I pulled my arm away. “Can I ask you something?”
I rubbed my wrist where she touched it. “What?”
She gave me a hesitant smile. “You know how we were talking about our motive things yesterday, like Sour said earlier? I know we all agreed maybe we shouldn’t be talking about them and you know they could be something really bad, but… you never told us yours. And yours made your head go all wacky and you were screaming about how impossible it was when you first read it, and I was really, really, really wondering what it was.”
I looked deep into her eyes, those shining rings of amber, searching for why she’d bring this up now. I saw nothing except the curiosity she claimed.
So, I refused to answer it. “No, I’m sorry… Sour was right. We shouldn’t be discussing these things; they’re the motives Monohuman gave us to murder.”
Her face crumpled like a kicked cardboard box. “Oh come on; it’s just me, Autumn Blaze. You can trust me; we got along so well the first day, remember? No, wait, you don’t remember, that’s the whole thing, but we really did get along well and connected on a spiritual level and…well…”
Unusually for her, she trailed off on her own without someone interrupting her.
“...Sorry,” I muttered. I turned to walk away, leaving Autumn to mope in the garden. After that whole encounter I needed some time to myself, so I headed back to my room.
I stayed there till dinner time. When I arrived in the Mess Hall, I was pleased to see that, like with breakfast, Trixie was there with us, along with everyone else, including Rarity, who sat on the opposite end. As with breakfast, conversation dominated the room, drowning out most things. It seemed someone had been kind enough to whip up a large meal for us too, as there was a huge pot of broccoli cheddar soup on the table everyone was drawing bowls from, as well as loaves of bread and fixings for sandwiches. Basic, but it was better than having to cook for myself.
I put together a tomato and cucumber sandwich, grabbed a bowl, and looked for a place to sit down. Derpy still looked just as off as she had this morning, and there were no open seats near Rarity, so I was left wondering.
Before I could pick a seat, however, Rarity let out a massive yawn, drawing everyone’s attention. “Oh, terribly sorry, darlings,” she murmured, before yawning yet again, her mouth stretched open so far I could see her uvula. “Goodness! I… I don’t know why I’m so...pardon me, everyone.” She stood and left the table.
I wanted to call out for Rarity to wait, but someone else called my name instead. Vignette Valencia waved as I glanced over to her, and patted an empty chair next to her. Sighing, I sat down with her.
“Wallywall!” she said, giving me her trademark smirk. “So good to see you today. I was hoping to get a chance to speak with you.”
“...I’m sure you were,” I mumbled as I took a bite of my sandwich. “What about?”
“Oh, nothing specific,” she said, her smile growing. “I just like to talk to you. I like you, you know that.”
“Do you?” I replied before I could stop myself.
She cocked her head, blinking at me. “Whatever do you mean?”
I pursed my lips, not sure I wanted to answer. Finally after several moments, I spoke, my words coming out slowly. “I…was wondering. After what you said to me, after the last trial… am I… am I just a project to you? You said you were my friend, but…”
I looked away for a moment, my eyes falling upon Derpy, who looked right back at me. I swiftly looked away from her as well.
Vignette let out a laugh like chiming bells. “Oh, Wallflower…you’re adorable, you know that? Where’d you get the idea you were some kind of project?”
“...Can you just answer the question please?” I replied, not wanting to risk anything that might send Trixie into hiding again.
“Alright.” Vignette straightened in her chair and fixed her gaze on me solidly. “No, you’re not a project. Not in the sense you’re thinking. Am I trying to help mold you? A little, but only in the way a friend would.”
I stared blankly at her. “I don’t understand.”
Vignette let out a frustrated sigh. “Come on, if it wasn’t a statistical impossibility, I would assume you were completely unaware of my online metier!”
I started to reply and she cut me off before I could even inhale. “Don’t argue with statistics, Wallflower; it’s objective facts. But my fans are my friends are my family, so don’t worry, I’ll explain. See, it’s very simple: B.B.Y.B.B.!”
“...Be why what?”
“Better Be Yourself But Better! B.B.Y.B.B., a.k.a. 2BY2B a.k.a. Buhbuhyuhbuhbuh. It’s the core of my message, the sine qua non of Vignette Valencia! The one secret everyone needs to know. I’ve written books about it, if you stretch the definition of both ‘written’ and ‘books.’”
She paused, smiling proudly, almost definitely waiting to be praised. I had never less wanted to praise anyone in my entire life. “Wait,” I grunted. “You’re trying to convince me you’re not treating me as a project… by saying you’re using your online self-help hustle thing on me?”
“Wallywall!” she gasped, appalled. “This isn’t a hustle! Be Yourself But Better was a hustle; this is Better Be Yourself But Better! I don’t even really make any money with B.B.Y.B.B. I said it was my metier and my sine qua non; my cynical cash cow is aesthetic design! Gah, you really need to read that unauthorized biography I had that ghostwriter do.”
Again, I started to reply, and again, she cut me off. “Oh, how to say this, how to say this…listen, you still see yourself the way you were in high school, yes? Mousy, quiet… invisible?”
That word in particular struck a chord in me. “...Yeah. I don’t feel any different.”
“Of course you don’t. Besides just the memory issues, you’re still Wallflower Blush,” Vignette continued. “1B.Y.B.B., the original, would have said, ‘Hey. You need to change how others see you. Make it look like you’re popular and cool and confident, and that’s all that matters. Whatever everyone thinks has to be true, right?”
…Oh. That hit uncomfortably close to home. I could remember the aching need to make it so absolutely no one at that school knew I existed, but even then, I was still there.
She noticed my change in expression and smiled sympathetically. “Doesn’t work, right? No matter how popular I made myself look, I was still lonely. Because I didn’t have the confidence to make friends. And that’s where I see you, now. You see invisible little you, but I see a star!”
I glanced down at my sandwich as I took a bite, and as I was looking up my eyes briefly caught Derpy’s again. Derpy was still looking squarely at me, her mouth tight, till she gestured with her head in a quick jerk to her left. Like she was asking me to leave the table with her.
I quickly looked back at Vignette. “A star?” I repeated.
“Yes, a star,” she said, her hands moving in grand gestures. “A shining example for us all, someone who stands above us, whose example we should all follow.”
I frowned, my face screwing up in utter confusion. “Um… how? That doesn’t… but I am invisible… half the time people don’t notice I’m standing there, or even ignore me when I try to talk to them.”
“But you see, that’s what I’m trying to tell you,” Vignette said. “You see yourself one way, I see you another way… and while you can’t really change who you are, you can change what you do about it, and start seeing yourself the way I do.”
Still beyond confused, I took another bite of sandwich. Once again I met Derpy’s eyes, who once again gestured with her head, much more insistently this time. But she could wait. I was too absorbed into what Vignette was saying. “I seriously don’t get it.”
Vignette patted me gently on the shoulder. “Alright, let’s find an example then.” She searched the room then pointed out Cheese Sandwich, who was animatedly speaking with Cranky over…something about accordions, judging by the way he kept moving his hands like he was playing one. “Cheese Sandwich, he’s a cute guy, right? Charisma for miles! But he has no idea, because he’s stuck thinking he needs to find someone out there to model himself on. He thinks he has to change!”
I did notice something as I watched Cheese talk. A hesitation, an uncertainty. Like he assumed whatever he was doing was wrong. Just a tiny little thing, but I could see it.
“He wants other people to tell him who he is,” Vignette explained. “But he already is who he is! No one can be anything but what they are. This was the great realization I made when I came up with Better B.Y.B.B. and I started making all sorts of real friends I could be emotionally intimate with and stuff. Cheese Sandwich doesn’t realize he can’t be anything that isn’t already inside him. He could be just as shining a star as you are if he just believed in himself. You, my dear, are the real example he should be following.”
As she spoke, I noticed Derpy get up out of the corner of my eye, sigh, and walk away from the table. Unfortunately for her I only really noticed this after the fact, as by the time I realized what I’d seen, she’d left the Mess Hall. I would have to track her down later if I wanted to speak to her.
My cheeks warmed up as I lived up to my namesake. “I… thanks?” I still didn’t understand what she was trying to say… but it raised my spirits. I sat up straighter, even putting a smile on my face.
She smiled right back. “You’re welcome. Don’t ever forget it either. I meant it when I told you that you’re smarter than the rest of us. And that’s because you can outshine us all, if you just try.”
My smile grew as she and I went back to eating our respective meals. Soon I became embroiled in chatting with others, occasionally interjecting here and there while mostly observing. Nothing of real consequence, but it was a welcome distraction.
At least, I’d thought it a welcome one, until I was heading back to my room late that evening. It was only then I realized I hadn’t tracked down Rarity or Derpy to speak to either one.
DING-DONG BING-BONG
As all the screens lit up with the pre-recorded face of Monohuman wishing us a goodnight–“except you pesky Equestrians!–” I decided it was too late to speak to either one. I left a note for myself to track them down in the morning, took my shower, and went to sleep.
That night, my dreams were, for the first time since the execution, undisturbed by images of fire and the sound of Sunset Shimmer screaming. Nor was I bothered by the sights of Monohuman, or anything else from this awful killing game. Instead I dreamed of a more peaceful time, of high school classes and summer vacations.
Of a rainstorm at a musical festival.
Of Sunset Shimmer, up on stage, playing her guitar, singing about the rain. I hadn’t remembered till this dream, but Derpy was there, hanging out with me.
And I was smiling, in public. I felt… happy.
I watched the memory play out in the dream, of me walking up on stage after Sunset was done, speaking to her. Hugging her. Thanking her for the beautiful song.
Holding her hand for just a moment, in the way I’d always wanted. Or at least, had wanted since she saved me from the Memory Stone.
But then it departed from the memory. In reality, I stepped off the stage and went home, but here I stayed. Here I asked her to take me with her. To have dinner together. Maybe even spend some time with her at her apartment.
And she said yes.
The dream passed in a flash. We had dinner at a sushi restaurant. She laughed at the way I cringed when I accidentally tasted a fleck of wasabi, then I laughed when she did the same with the ginger. We talked about music and movies and all kinds of silly things.
She took me home afterwards, and we lingered on the porch. We looked into each other’s eyes, her holding my hands in hers, saying how much she loved spending time with me. How she wanted to do it again… and her words trailed off as her eyes slowly fluttered shut, her head leaning forward, lips pursing to meet with mine.
But before they could meet, consciousness ripped me out of my slumber thanks to my slipping off the bed and onto the floor.
“Ow…” I moaned as I rubbed my hip. I checked the time. 6:30 AM. Not even 7:00 yet.
I got back in bed to try to get more sleep, but quickly gave up and tossed on clothes instead. I needed a walk.
In a way, that dream was more tortuous than any nightmare could have been. At least the nightmares didn’t taunt me with something I never had and never could’ve had.
As I left the dorm room, I headed for the central plaza, where Monohuman’s stage loomed. Just as I reached it, I spotted Shining Armor, Autumn Blaze, Zephyr Breeze, and to my surprise, Cranky Doodle, all dressed up in jogging outfits.
“Oh, morning, Wallflower,” Shining said as the four came to a brief halt, taking a moment to drink from water bottles or, in Zephyr’s case, catch their breath. “What’s got you up so early?”
“Woke up, and then couldn’t fall back asleep,” I said. “Do you do this every morning?”
“We sure do, Wally!” Autumn Blaze said. “It’s really good for getting your energy going, getting some good solid exercise early in the day.”
I eyed Cranky, who shrugged. “What? Just because I’m old doesn’t mean I don’t stay in shape.”
“You should…” Zephyr wheezed a moment, then stood up straight. “You should join us, Wallflower. We’re a woman down anyway.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, Rarity usually jogs with us,” Shining said. “But for some reason she wouldn’t answer her door.”
A cold chill ran down my spine. “You’re… sure she was in there right?”
“Oh yeah, I looked through the keyhole and I saw her snoozing away on the bed,” Autumn Blaze said. “She’s fine, don’t worry. No one’s gotten hurt.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Well, I’m… not really dressed for it,” I said, looking at my usual outfit. “But I guess I’ll jog with you.”
“Great,” Shining said. He pointed to the dorms. “Usually what we do is, we circle around the plaza, all the way around the dorm buildings, through the garden, then back out and around to the edge of the admin building. We do that lap a few times… we were thinking about maybe adding in the truck stop as part of our loop, but it’s so full of wrecks and other things there’s just not enough room to add anything substantial.”
“Fine by me,” I said. I stretched out my legs a bit, then lined up with them. “Let’s go.”
Shining set an even pace, one I found myself able to match, if with a little effort. As we jogged, I had to focus more and more of my energy on maintaining pace, and not falling over in a panting heap.
It was good for driving that dream out of my head at least.
And it was nice to watch the sun rise on the horizon, feel the cold desert air start to give way to daylight heat. I appreciated having my sweater more than I expected, as the others kept shivering every so often while I was perfectly warm, if coated in sweat.
The overall loop took about twenty minutes or so, meaning it was some time after 7:00 when we came back around to the gate to the truck stop again. “Okay, that’s about it,” Shining said. “You kinda caught us on our last lap, sorry Wallflower. But if you like, you can always join us again tomorrow. We’re usually out here at 6:00.”
“I just might,” I admitted, having enjoyed myself more than I expected.
“HEEEEEELP!”
Any good feelings from the jog vanished instantly as I saw Sour Sweet crest the hill from the truck stop, cradling one arm with the other. Her right wrist dangled at an unnatural angle, and her face twisted with pain and fear. “Oh god, help! Someone just tried to kill me!” she shrieked.
Everyone clustered around her at once. “What happened?” Shining asked.
“I… I was going to get one of my sodas,” Sour Sweet admitted. “You know, the really good stuff.”
“You mean the nasty crap,” Cranky quipped.
“Not now, Cranky,” Shining said. “Okay, but what happened exactly?”
“Some asshole set a trap!” Sour Sweet cried. “It almost killed me! It broke my wrist…”
Autumn approached her and took her arm, gently examining it. “I’m guessing it hurts.”
“Fuck yes it hurts, you stupid bitch,” Sour Sweet snapped. She grunted, then looked away. “...Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”
Autumn waved it off. “We’ll have to get you first aid.” She looked over at Shining Armor. “I’m taking her to the clinic so we can get this wrapped up and on ice.”
“And some fucking aspirin while we’re at it,” Sour Sweet said.
“Alright, the rest of us are going to check out the trap,” Shining said. “Let’s go.”
We rushed down towards the convenience store in a hurry, but before we could walk inside, another loud bellow from the direction of the museum startled us all. “What the hell?” Shining muttered.
We had our answer when Big Macintosh staggered out of the museum, looking more terrified than even Sour Sweet had. “Y’all!” he shouted as we ran over to him. “Ah… Ah… Ah just ran into some kinda trap in the museum! It almost killed me!”
“What?” Shining gasped.
My blood froze. “Two traps at the same time?” I whispered.
“What were you even doing in there?” Cranky asked.
Big Macintosh gulped, and opened his mouth, but Shining cut him off. “Nevermind, we’ll find out later. Right now… right now I’m more concerned about there being other traps. Walk slow everyone… let’s see if there’s anything around.”
The first thing we walked past was the pond of rattlesnake venom, which thankfully had changed in both color and smell. “Looks like that’s clear at least,” Shining said. “And it’s no longer potent. Thank goodness.”
We headed for the diner next, but before we stepped inside, I raised a hand. “Wait a minute… was that tarp over there before?” I asked, pointing to the rusted red semi-truck, the one in the best condition that Cheese and Zephyr had hoped to fix.
“..Nno, it wasn’t,” Zephyr said, gulping audibly. “I think I’d remember if Cheese and I put it there.”
We all exchanged looks of trepidation. “Let’s check it out,” Shining said.
Slowly, as we approached, my heart began to beat faster and faster. Terror gripped me, adrenaline flooding my system. Something had gone horribly wrong, I knew it. Something had happened.
We came around the truck… and that’s when we saw it.
The sight that left me in more despair than I could have imagined.
Apologies again for the long delay here; our hope is to avoid such a delay in the middle of posting a Chapter in the future, but the art was worth waiting for, we feel.
See you next week for the investigation! 
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Victim: NOOO! Not Derpy! Was really hoping she would make it
2nd Blacken: Like I previously mentioned in the other chapters that Rarity Is Blacken.
She seems tired early on in this chapter and throughout previous was acting VERY suspicious. And, Shining said She normally Jogs with him, Autumn Blaze, Zephyr Breeze, and Cranky Doodle. But, she was still sleeping in bed
She could’ve set up those traps last night or even the before which WOULD explain why she was acting so tired previously.
I’ll see how the investigation goes but Rarity seems like the number 1 suspect as of now
Welp... no more waifu for Big Mac.
Oh I wasn't expecting them to go this early. Right now I've got nothing to go off of other then a gut feeling The one who killed derpy and the trap maker? Different people.
Patiently waiting for the next chapters to reveal some more on this side, cause I feel like there's a lot to it. Also good lord There's so many people wandering around in the early morning for who knows what reason.
Any more twists and turns in this story line and it will be able to hide behind a corkscrew.
Wild chapter, writers!
Alternative title: Ditzy Doo didn't.
GOD DAMN! Damn author u scary!
Whelp, that just happened.
My first immediate thought is that Rarity did it. But that seems like the safe conclusion, like the conclusion the culprit wants us to feel. So I donʼt really know what is happening. But I am excited to find out!
Oh gosh. Well, I have predictions. rarity?
She was acting strangely.
Oh! Can't believe I got it right. Anyway Rares and Big Mac are a little sus
One of the themes I'm seeing through this particular story is Lack of Communication. People are clamping up when they should be talking. I know they're afraid of revealing too much to Monohuman, but that hasn't stopped the murders from happening so a new change of strategy will need to go into affect going forward.
As for the victim, honestly, not too surprised. Just about everyone was throwing up red flags and Derpy was practically begging for it this chapter. Too bad, as Wallflower was getting closer to them. Seems those that start making friends are the ones most likely to bite it.
Speaking of, something I noticed is that Wallflower is getting weird vibes off of the people about to die. It's as though she has an inner warning device that's telling her not to get close to these people. Not sure if that was intentional but I'm going to keep an eye out for it in the future.
Currently, my guess for the killer is Sour Sweet. She had the excuse to keep going back to the truck stop to get her drinks, giving her plenty of opportunities to set up the traps. She also gave Fluttershy that big speech about not being able to truly know a person, which throws up all sorts of warnings. I'm thinking she either deliberately broke her wrist to throw off suspicion, or one of the traps went off prematurely. Derpy may not have been her intended victim.
Rarity is this investigation's red herring.
We'll see if my guess changes during the investigation. Till then!
Hmm. I'm thinking the blackened here is Sour Sweet. Mainly because at least two traps were set. You only need to kill one pony to escape scot-free, and getting it wrong is a big risk. The culprit would have to be smart enough to tailor two traps for specific victims. And Sour Sweet attended an elite private school.
NO!!! GOD WHY?! Why did it have to be Derpy?! Right when I start hoping someone will make it to the end they get killed! Whoever did this is going to pay!
I don't know for sure who the Blackened is yet, but I have my eyes on Rarity, Big Mac, and Sour Sweet.
Interesting, I was certain the cause of death was going to be poison. No clue about any of the true answers.
Well. Crap. I was actually hoping Derpy/Ditzy would be one of the survivors, given what we know about her and Wallflower. Guess not.
Right now, the most suspicious to me are Rarity, Trixie, and Big Mac. Maybe Rarity's so tired because she spent all night working on those traps. Maybe Trixie set a trap in the hopes of killing Wallflower, only to kill the wrong person. Or maybe Big Mac is the one who set the traps and is faking being almost killed by one (although that raises the question as to why he'd kill Derpy because of what the two were developing together).
This investigation is going to be fun.
😭 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Not who I was expecting to die next for sure...