The Darkest Hour

by Anemptyshell

I Am Who I Am, and Nothing More

All these words and none of it made any sense. My bed was littered with half a dozen open tomes and some, well I’d call them notes but seeing as writing with hooves is hard, they were just another metric of the pounding between my eyes. Hours, hours of reading the fine print in books about an absurd society, and all I’d learned, well honestly I learned a lot, for instance, the mutants went by ponies as a species and had half a dozen subspecies. The thing that I learned that mattered though was, where I’d been before I was here, in Equestria, and what a name that was. I wasn’t where I’d been before. Here there be magic and magic means forces that render physics a suggestion.

My head throbbed as I lay on the comfy bed in my palace room and pondered if the denizens of Equestria, the name soured my throat, had aspirin.

It was an actual night at this point, Sabre had been dismissed to do whatever it was he did when not following me about and I was left with nothing but books, my thoughts, and the ever-present worry I’d long since lost my mind.

“What even is my life now?” I asked the world at large.

My response came in the defiant gurgles of my empty stomach. I rolled over on my side and mumbled threats at the demanding bodily need. I looked over to the closed apartment door and tried to retrace my steps from earlier. If I made it back to the center of the palace I might luck out and make it to the dining hall, if they even served catering outside of the queen’s personal affairs. The issue would be getting back. I let out a sigh and kicked about, knocking several books from the bed.

All hope seemed lost, I would die lost and forgotten in a maze of halls and sorrow. I rubbed a hoof over my throbbing head and again cursed my day in general.

Then a knock at my door had me bolt from my bed and crumple to the floor. I wasn’t expecting anyone.

“What now?”

I pulled myself up and slowly made my way to the door only for a second rapping to cast another throb down my spine.

“Yes?” I asked as I pulled the door wide.

I was met with a maid, who looked ready to die. Her eyes to the ground, a slight tremble when I spoke. I more felt than imagined just how scummy that made me look. The maid slowly lifted a missive of some kind and offered it to me.

“For you, sir.”

The second I took the letter, the maid dashed off at breakneck speeds. Gee, glad to know I left an impression. I rolled my eyes, reshut my door, and, back to said door, I unfolded the delivery.

My eyes darted across the words and stopped only when the words themselves were set tight in my mind. The queen had called me for dinner. It seemed she meant it when she said he wanted to learn more about me. I felt my fur mat itself to the back and sides of my neck as I played out that meal. I licked my lips and limped my way into the bathroom. I did all I could to ignore the mirror over the sink. I doubted I’d recognize the face anyway. Instead, I took to the shower, it wasn’t fancy and barely large enough to fit me, but it’d do. I figured I’d at least look presentable when I marched down death row.

It was during this time I learned washing a body’s worth of fur was a pain. I don’t think I did that before now, so whatever that meant I guessed it was another step in relearning my past. I kept the shower as short as I could and washed only what was convenient. I’d work on full-body hygiene when I had more than a minute to gather my wits and actually care for such an answer.

“What am I even doing,” I asked myself as I stepped out of the shower and aimed for one of the fluffy white towels prepped to the side on a wicker rack.

“Making an ass of yourself,” I replied with a humorless chuckle.

So I dried and brushed myself down the best I could and another knock at my door. Now as long as it wasn’t the hit squad of pony land, It’d be a wonder. When I answered lo and behold I wasn’t struck dead. I shook my head, these negative thoughts were getting almost as annoying as the thumping in the back of my skull.

“Good evening, sir.”

Sabre looked less on the verge of an aneurysm since he’d departed. A few hours did him a lot of good. He even managed a smirk.

“Evening. I take it you’re here to walk me to my date.”

The smirk grew, I joined in with a grin of my own as I struck a pose.

“Is that what we’re calling it, sir?” he asked.

“It sounds a lot less intimidating that way.”

Sabre shrugged and ushered me out of my room. “If you say so.”

“So, back to looking after me, kinda thought you’d be begging for a replacement. By the way, sorry about all this,” I said and waved about mindlessly. Sabre didn't answer. We passed another duo of guards and I swear I could feel the heat of their gaze on the back of my head.

“Not your fault,” Sabre said once we’d rounded the corner. I wasn’t so sure about that, even if it was only by accident. Today, tonight, was at least partially my fault.

“If I wasn’t thestral,” I said with a grumble.

That was one thing those books certainly made clear. The history of Equestria was nonsensical, magic or not. There were holes and holes in those holes. But, ignoring that, the fact Queen Nightmare Moon and her Thestrals of the night were at the top of the food chain, and seeing as I had fangs and leathery wings, that meant I was too.

“Sir!”

The look Sabre gave when he turned to me sent a shudder up my spine. The snarl the eye twitch, the desperate look around as he stopped us. It made me look about too if only to avoid that look of his.

“You should watch what you say, especially in front of the queen’s chosen.” Sabre jabbed me in the chest. “You’re an odd one, and amnesia or not, such thoughts could get you in a lot of trouble.”

I heaved a sigh and nodded. He wasn’t wrong and that’s what made it all the worse. None of this was adding up, not one bit.

From that point on, the walk to dinner was a quiet one. A silence that was all too deafening in a castle where everything was a single thought away from anarchy. When we did reach the dining hall and found the door closed, and several guards at their posts. I felt my stomach lurch. The guards seemed all too happy to ignore us as long as they could.

“Her majesty, requested,” Sabre pointed over his shoulder at me. “Her newest thestral ward join her for dinner.”

One of the guards tutted under his breath and nodded to the others. “Open the door. Her guest has arrived.”

So the doors were pulled forth and there it was, if not the opalescence was nothing to resplendent, and the table was set and flush with the ilk of the night. At least a dozen other thestrals were already sitting and speaking amongst themselves. Nightmare herself was at the head of the table and in some discussion with one of her sycophantic underlings. A place I’d joined, and oh the joy that brought me. I edged my way into the room, alone, Sabre watching as the doors closed behind me. I was now trapped in a cage with very hungry lions.

I sized up the table and wondered if seats were assigned or if I could hide as far away from the hostess as I could. My ruminations were interrupted by none other than the illustrious queen, who to my anxiety noticed my indecisiveness.

“Ah, young Stargazer has arrived. Hail, to my newest vassal. Come, I have a seat prepared to my left, so as to ensure we can discuss your new position.”

Once again, she wore a grin like a shark, Queen Nightmare gestured to a seat directly to her left. I could feel myself shaking as my introduction had all eyes on me. The nobles, the staff, the guards, and most assuredly the queen herself.

I nodded and slowly made my way to my seat, I could hear the murmurs amongst my hew peers as they asked one another about my appearance. It seemed that while I was expected, the actual depth of my arrival had been less than detailed to the others. Yet they whispered, even as I took my seat to the queen’s left and I wilted under the sudden pressure upon my every scrutiny.

“Good evening, your majesty.”

I offered a seated bow of sorts, to which the queen was all too pleased.

“Yes, it is, as are all. Shall we begin our meal, and of course your upcoming future?” Nightmare asked and as if on cue the first course began as the kitchen staff entered from a side door, food aplenty in tow.

“I’m at the edge of my seat, your majesty.”

“As one in such a position should be. It is never a chance that one be born to greatness. As a thestral, you have been given that opportunity. That is of course if all is as it should be? Only foals would welcome one to their table without first learning their place and of whom they are. Wouldn’t you agree, young Stargazer?”

Nightmare leaned in and eyed be like a snake watching a caged rat. My limbs tensed, and my wings seemed to lock themselves to my sides as I swallowed hard. Nightmare’s eyes were vexing. Teal orbs with pupils like a beast.

“Yes?” I managed between shallow breaths.

“Do you know that upon my acolytes' have been searching for your origins, I found little to nothing? I had in good faith thought I may yet reward you with your past. As queen, it is my duty over my domain. Yet, even now, I have nothing but a name, a face, and questions. That is peculiar, is it not?”

My mind had gone blank. This was it, I would die I was so going to die. I couldn’t even muster the force to lift a hoof in resistance.

Nightmare’s horn began to glow and as it did, I felt my rear which had been planted hard into my seat suddenly rise. I levitated above the table as Nightmare continued to glare at me.

“I--”

“You will stay silent, worm. Lest I tear thine tongue from your mouth.”

Nightmare looked out upon the rest of the table. There was silence and silence in abundance. Let it not be said that ponies, mutants or not, knew when submission was the only hope for their survival.

“There are few means to conceal one’s self as thy have. Perhaps an assassin, to debase my throne to another? Mayhaps thou art as thy claim, a thestral lost, mind and purpose bereft and stolen away. Or, the most likely a fake, a liar, and an insect in faux flesh. Are we close, changeling?”

And just like that, I was lost. I kind of got the paranoia of the first and even understood the unlikely nature of the second. The last option though, well frankly I had no idea what she was on about. So floating, silent and worried she might just snap my spine with her crazy magic powers.

“Well, drone, what say you?”

“What’s a changeling?”

I don’t think that was the answer Nightmare wanted. That is if the sudden violent shakes I was accosted by as I flew hither and thither as the magic queen of the night growled in anger.

“You thinking thou can lie to me. That I can not rip your mimicry from thine flesh? I will show the world your true face and then, only then shall I flay your carapace, for your disgusting rendition of my subjects.”

I thought I might vomit as the whiplash had me limp front the force of Nightmare’s telekinetic grip. “I’m sorry.” I mewled when the shaking finally stopped.

“Now, let us show the stars your true face.”

Nightmare’s horn glowed deeper the energy crackling as it buzzed through the air. I closed my eyes and prepare for whatever spell she had in mind. Seconds passed and nothing, then a few more, I still heard the hum of Nightmare’s power and the heavy breathing of the madmare. There was still nothing. I managed to open a single eye and saw Nightmare look at me, no longer in a blind rage, but in contemplative confusion.

Then as suddenly as I had been ripped from my seat, I was deposited once more. I pressed my back as hard into the seat cushion as I could. “Your Grace?”

“This is most vexing, an unbecoming spit in mine eye. What games at hoof, with those fools? In the ruins of Canterlot, what is thine play?”

I had a very real suspicion this was no longer about me, and that if I valued my life, I would pretend I didn't hear her. When Nightmare did return to herself she gave me another look, this one with little to none of the fire from before. The room itself felt lighter as if the collectively held breath off all present released as one.

“I’m sorry?” I offered.

“Nay, it seems I have misjudged you, Stargazer. You are no changeling, I know not your intent, but you are of genuine flesh. As such, you have the chance to prove your worth as any other thestral. That settled, Let the banquet begin.”

Thus, the feasting began, if not only so those present had something other than the scene that just played out to ponder. I was still shaking in my seat as a servant brought me water and a light salad. My stomach made a loud protest to my lack of food to digest, and even as my heart continued to race, I mindlessly shoveled what was before me into my mouth. Even when one question is answered five more take its place.

“So, your highness, what can I do to prove myself, as you desire?” I asked.

If I’m going to stagger out a life in this castle of crazy, I would at least like to know what my job is. For her part, Nightmare toyed with her food, eyes distant. She must have been more affected than I was with the whole, not a changeling thing, whatever it meant.

“On the morrow, you will rise and be put under the tutelage of one of my faithful servants. A thestral named Solemn Mind. He will teach thee what is expected of you as a vassal under my command. You will have your chance to prove thyself like every thestral before you.”

That said, the queen rose from her seat and made her way to an offset door to the side of the main entry. Someone was waiting for her, though outside of the sickening levels of pink and a scowl that gave Nightmare’s glare a run for its money, I hadn’t seen such a mare before. I hoped I never would, ever.

So, dinner passed and the other thestrals gave me a wide berth. The whispers continued but none present looked openly hostile. When I finished what I could, of the seemingly endless courses of food. I made my way free of the dining hall and slowly limped my way back to my room. Either I’d find my way back or be lost in the labyrinth of halls. Both would be acceptable outcomes at this point.

“Why me?”

Comments

[Witchery]

I was buried to the nigh with books.

I get what you're trying to say, but as it's written this doesn't make sense.

“I--”

Needs an em dash.

[Fallingraptor19]

hahaHaHaHaHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAH! YES oh i love scenarios like these.