A thestral awakens in the Everfree forest after being subject to a deep dreadful darkness. Once found, our hero discovers the world is under an eternal night sky, and Nightmare Moon queen of the lands has driven a line amongst the various pony tribes. Now a rebellion looms, and politics are thick with corruption and fear. In a world clad in stars, what hope can there be for the ever waiting dawn?
Or will shadow consume shadows and let darkness reign forevermore. It doesn't always take a hero, sometimes it takes something more.
Featured on 10.05.22. What a way to make my day.
Chapters (40)
Should the `Human` tag be added to this story? Or does it not count if the human is displaced as a pony?
11235007
That's a fair question. As I see it, the MC doesn't remember being human and thus that aspect isn't really a major part of the story at this point. I do have a few tags that might be added in the future, so maybe then.
11235741
I think that, at the very least you should say that the story has a human in it. Please respond to this comment.
11252991
I understand where you are coming from, but my thought is if the human aspect has yet to become of note or merit, does it matter? I assure you, I do have a plan. I'm happy to discuss.
on
If you are on windows, and have a numpad, hold left alt and press 0151 on the numpad. That will get you the emdash — you want.
This is an interesting start, I'm curious to see where it goes.
Typically stuttering uses a dash and a space or a single dash, not two.
call
I get what you're trying to say, but as it's written this doesn't make sense.
Needs an em dash.
Needs em dashes.
The transition to him passing out was also rather confusing. It wasn't clear at all what actually happened.
Em dash
brass
It’s hardly work
em dash
Extra slash.
11257127
Thank you, for the heads up--
I'm not sure what you're trying to say here, "de facto" doesn't make much sense.
Also it's de facto.
curtsied
em dash
whence
wrong tense
It should just be plodded.
of
typo
of
course
they're
shut-in. Though he might also be a little shit.
Needs capitalized.
your
11257166
On a technical level "o' the area" is functional old English.
You really have fun digging through every line, friend?
Who am I to judge, right?
aid
tale
lost
Not quite sure what you're trying to say here.
As it stands, the sentence is currently incomplete. Remove the period.
This should end with a question mark.
em dash
years
was
cemetery
I'm not sure what you're trying to say here.
extra period
a
oddest
11257195
Sweet Apple Cemetary is the name of the location, the cemetery would be capitalized in that context. also meeting Odyssey ponies sounds more interesting than just odd ponies. lol.
majesty's
em dash
be
unblinking
This is an interesting story. It hasn't really picked up yet, but seems like it will be soon. I'm intrigued.
Missing quotations for the dialogue.
So he finally ran into Cadance, eh?
11257207
I agree, it is a bit of a slow burn to start. You got to build them up to knock them down.
I have a nasty habit of starting things too quickly, so I'm practicing to build a more balanced style.
Don't think the Nightmare is going to be particularly pleased.
11265310
Is she ever?
I get the feeling our Batty friends aren't going to be received too well.
Cadence, huh?
11280068
Perhaps.
Or could it all be a red herring?
I'm enjoying this story :)
I have a good feeling about who the third voice is, Celestia. As for the other two voices, one of them is Sombra, and I think Cadence.
11290914
Oh mi, oh my, I do wonder.
11291161
I can't wait to see if my guesses are correct or not later on in the story.
11291215
The world may never know. I do enjoy having people speculate though, it's half the fun of writing a mild mystery in an adventure fic.
11291600
Ok
Whoa, that's not good.
11298970
You and Star are in perfect sync.
I've enjoyed the journey so far. Can't wait to see where all this is gonna lead.
11299463
Well, we're almost halfway, so I hope you enjoy it once the ball really gets rolling.
That wasn't what I was expecting.
11300842
Oh, do tell friend.
11300890
I wasn't expecting the city to actually be alive, let alone inhabited. I was expecting some ancient ruins. It's a good turning of my expectations.
11300998
Well, I hope to continue surprising you as I go.
chunk
Yeah, that went about as well as one could hope for.
11305824
True.
I really like the way you have with words, such as this:
Waiting for more :)
11306432
You cheeky devil. Thank you.
11253073
To be honest, I don't really care if a story has humans in it or not. But other people definitely do, so you should always do it in future stories. Please respond to this comment.
11308882
My story does have the human tag. I just find it unnecessary for a story that does not involve it. By which I mean, if you have Sunset in a story that takes place solely in Equestria, must I have the human tag because she is human in EQG?
I love this line. Cadance has truly gone mad, poor soul.
11316199
I blame poor parenting.