Pinkie Pie takes Earth

by Goldstar

4. Pinkie gets a Job

Heather arrived at school. She swore Pinkie was in the corner of her eyes. No matter which way she looked, Pinkie was seemingly always watching. The bell then rung for first period classes. For math, Pinkie was there as the teacher. “Good morning class. Today we’re going to learn the most fun math ever!”

“Excuse me Ms. Pie,” Heather asked, “But where’s the usual teacher?”

“Oh, he called in sick today. Let’s teach fun!” In what seemed like a blur, math class was over. Heather went over to her English class. Once again Pinkie was the sub teacher.

“How did you... what? You were at math, but now here?” Heather questioned.

“I’m watching you, forever.” Much of what Pinkie said was the word fun. As the day progressed, suddenly every student was Pinkie, only saying “fun”. Heather tried to run out of the school, but a Pinkie would block her way each time. “Fun is infinite!” One of them said, with a rather disturbing face that Heather looked away from.

Logan woke Heather up. Due to how quiet it was, Pinkie likely was still sleeping. “Dad? This whole thing has been really confusing and frustrating. Pinkie’s like a cartoon character put into real life. She’s clearly not running on the same standards as us, or most other people for that matter.”

“Yeah, something is really odd about this whole situation. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. I know you’re about hard science and evidence, which is fine. I don’t know what to call it. I don’t want to quite say miracle.”

“Does this mean real wizards are going to start popping up soon? Pinkie must clearly have powers, even if just being really fast at certain tasks. Also, I had a nightmare with her popping up in school and even having a bunch of clones that could only say fun. Freaky. I hope nothing like this actually happens, but considering what’s on the table now, I don’t know what to expect next.”

“It’s going to be an adjustment period for her. She might not be as wild and hyper once she gets used to life on Earth.”

“I’m hoping her friends can teleport her back home before hand and things return to normal. Although now that I mention that Pinkie has been an interesting variable in my life. Not quite one I’m the happiest about, but it has gotten me curious of what seemingly impossible things can happen next.”

“Get ready for school. I’ll help Pinkie get used to being around here. And do try to stay the whole school day instead of me having to pick you up earlier because of a student conflict. I’m going to have my hands full enough with Pinkie Pie.”

“No promises. Of course, I won’t mention Pinkie at school and if I do, it won’t be any of the unusual aspects about her, least I plant yet another target on my back. The students already think I’m out of touch with reality enough.” Heather’s moaning routine went just about her usual. Pinkie was still asleep by the time Heather got on the school bus.

Logan thought about letting Pinkie sleep in, but he had a schedule to maintain, and he had no idea how long she would sleep. He knocked on the guest room door a few times. “Wake up Pinkie.” Seconds later, the guest room door opened.

“Pretty Private Pinkie Pie reporting for duty!” Pinkie said.

“Okay Pinkie. Err... I’ve got a couple of hours before work,” Logan said, “I can cook toast for breakfast. Will that be fine?”

“Positivity.”

“What kind of work did you do back in Equestria? We may be able to find something similar.”

“I work at Sugercube Corner with the Cakes. We make all kinds of sweets.”

“So, a bakery. At least it isn’t some kind of job we simply don’t have on Earth like working magic. I do know a bakery in town ran by an old couple. I rarely go there. I’m not much of a sweets person and neither is Heather. But clearly you are. They’re not hiring, but they may make an exception for you.”

“What’s your job?”

“I do construction work. I love seeing projects come to life. Sure, it takes a long time, but that makes the pay off so worth it. I used to build so many models with LEGO when I was a kid in my spare time. However, this isn’t the safely job. I had a couple of coworkers over the years they got injured, but they recovered not too long after. It’s probably not too different then what you have back home.”

“True!”

“Maybe our societies are not all that different, despite a clear difference in species and certain modern stuff that we have that you don’t. I’m going to toast the toast. Meanwhile, you should change into your day clothes, in private. I have a spare toothbrush you can use.” Pinkie nodded rapidly, at an inhuman speed. “Right...”

By the time the toast was ready, Pinkie rushed into the kitchen to eat them in seemingly a matter of seconds. The glass of orange juice barely lasted a second. “Well then, I’m still getting used to this. Anyway, let’s drive on over to the bakery while I still have time before work.”

They got into the truck and Logan driven enroute. “So, something everyone has in society is an ID. Given the circumstances of you being here, we can’t quite get you an ID the usual way, but I know a guy that knows someone who can. I’ll let them handle that.”

Several minutes later, they arrived at the bakery. “Here’s Sweets 2 Go. They’re closed at this time, but I know they’re still in the building. I’ll ring them up.” Minutes later, Logan and Pinkie entered after the door was opened. “Hello Mary and Anna, this is Pinkie Pie, she’s... from out of town.” Pinkie waved at the elder women.

“Hello! Hmm... smells good in here!”

“Is this what the youth does these days, dye their hair?” Mary asked.

“Don’t be so negative Mary. If it makes her happy, it makes her happy.” Anna replied.

“Anyway, business hasn’t been all that great lately.” Mary continued. “We simply can’t keep up anymore, our bodies are not what they used to be.”

“Mary may be too proud to admit it, but we need help.

“We can storm through this trouble together.”

“You can’t deny what is happening. Pinkie looks beyond excited to help us out.”

“Of course, the youth love our sweets, but they just don’t understand the process of making them. What about you Pinkie?”

“I do!” Pinkie insisted, “The Cakes at Sugarcube Corner can back me up as much.”

“Sugarcube what?” Mary asked.

“Like I said, out of town,” Logan added.

“Right...” Mary said.

“I say we give Pinkie Pie a chance,” Anna said, “She’s literally jumping at the chance.”

“Well, passion doesn’t equal skill,” Mary reminded, “But, okay. Pinkie, there’s still some time before we open. We have simple recipes. Help make those and I may consider you a job.”

“Hip hip hooray!” Pinkie said, “I’m right on it.”

“Anyway, I should get going,” Logan noted, “I’ll come back to pick her up later after I’m on break.” As Logan drove off, Pinkie headed to the backroom.

“This already feels like a touch of home,” Pinkie said. “Although I’ll have to get used to not having a party planning basement.”

“Party planning? You do those too?” Anna asked.

“Oh yeah. I’m practically throwing multiple parties per day.”

“How do you even do that?” Mary asked.

“I’m good.”

“But, the amount of energy, supplies, preparation, that all seems a bit much.”

“Not for me, the best party runner in all of Equestria!”

“Equest... what?”

“Where I came from.”

“Never heard of it. Anyway, here’s your task, get to baking.”

“Right away!” Some time later, the old couple saw the amount of cupcakes Pinkie had baked.

“That’s... wonderful!” Was all Anna could get out.

“How did you do this?” Mary asked, “Are the youth really just that fast these days. You practically got them ready in almost after the time it takes to bake them in the oven.”

“It’s a living.” Pinkie replied.

“Good, can you do a lot more of that?” Anna asked.

“Sure thing!”

Later the day after Heather arrived home, followed by her dad and Pinkie, the pony turned human started cartwheeling around and spreading confetti around. “I got the job I got the job!” Pinkie shouted.

“That’s wonderful!” Heather said, “Which means more spending money!”

“A lot that will go to costs of living,” Logan reminded.

“Right... but maybe we can get some extra stuff every now and then.”

“We need to get Pinkie transportation. She could do something like a Taxi, but, we’ll have to teach her how to use one. Or maybe she can ride that old bicycle that you hardly ride anymore.”

“The bakery is several minutes away by driving. It would take... actually, this is Pinkie we’re talking about, so she might be able to ride really fast or something.”

“That is true. Anyway, I’m going to settle in for now. We need to go grocery shopping in the next few days. I’ll also figure out how to handle dinner for three.” As Logan went upstairs to his room, Heather beckoned Pinkie to come upstairs as well. Once in Heather’s room, she grabbed a piece of drawing paper.

“Pinkie, are you able to draw up what you and your best friends look like in Equestria?”

“Easy peasy lemon squeezy!”

“I don’t really have much to draw with. I have some old crayons lying around.” Pinkie used the tip of her hair to grip a crayon. “How are you doing that?”

“Really flexible hair, duh.”

“I don’t think I’m going to get used to your... Pinkie behavior.”

“I haven’t adjusted to fingers yet.”

“Right, you did have hooves your whole life.” A few minutes later, Pinkie had cruelly drawn pictures of what her best friends and herself looked like as ponies, including their names below. “So, ponies just come in any color? And why do all of them have tattoos on their butts?”

“Those are cutie marks on their flanks.”

“Cutie marks? What? Some sort of fashion statement?”

“They’re magical marks that tells what a pony is good at in life.”

“Most of them come in three pictures, except for Twilight and Rainbow. Is this a destiny thing? Are they basically forced to do whatever their cutie mark says? Sounds like quite a damper on free will.”

“It’s not a hard focus on what a pony can do or be. You could probably never guess I’m a baker from my balloons cutie mark.”

“I can only imagine the drama that cutie marks can cause. We have no such things like that on Earth. Rather or not destiny is real depends on who you ask. Science can’t confirm or deny it. But if you ask me, it’s not real. I couldn’t tell you what our meeting is other than a freaky accident as opposite to something planned by the universe. You probably could have just as easily ended up anywhere on Earth. At least it was somewhere safe.”

“You know what I haven’t done since getting here that’s really long overdue?”

“Being less annoying?”

“Parties! I’m going to need to plan multiple parties, like my welcome to Earth party, getting a job party, making new friends party, and I’m a human party, just to name a few.”

“Err...” it took several seconds for Heather to resume. “Sounds like you throw a party for just about anything. Can I not be a part of these? I rather play video games and eat ice cream.”

“I’m hosting most of the parties here. Where would you go silly?”

“Outside in the cold so I may ponder what I’ve done in life to deserve this. And then ponder why I’m suddenly being way less skeptical. Oh wait, I do know why. You.”

“Operation Make Heather Young Happy continues here, hold Luna!” Pinkie forced Heather into holding Luna, of which Heather didn’t recall seeing Luna in her room prior to this interaction. “She’s happy! Don’t you feel good when she’s feeling good?”

“She’s a dog, they’re so easy to make happy.”

“And that’s more than not having her happy, isn’t it?”

“I still hardly care about her. I never wanted a dog. I never even wanted a social life. Last time I tried that, I got burnt, hard. I don’t have friends, not anymore. You think you know people and then, you realize you don’t. They hurt you, betray you, and act like there was never anything between them and you. I’m not sure about how this stuff happens in Equestria, but among us humans on Earth, friendships and relationships are very condition. Of course, everyone has their limits in patience.” Tears started to run down Heather’s face.

“I was friends with two kids since 2nd grade, Trevor and Britney. We found common ground rather quickly in stuff we liked to do like playing outside. We hardly had any problems beyond the usual childish stuff like having trouble sharing and such, but as we grew older, that stuff phased out. We weren’t always in the same class or even the same school, but we were able to easily meet each other outside of school on an almost bi-weekly basis.

“Back then, Trevor was the only one among us to have a PlayStation 3, a video game console. While he wasn’t exactly wealthy, he for sure had more money than Britney and me. We really bonded over video games. However, as we reached our teen years, arguments started to become more common. I swear those two agreed on almost everything, but I felt myself drifting further apart. Interests change, it’s fine, but what isn’t fine is how they started to treat me. They acted like I was defective and broken. You see, I have numerous social troubles, but I don’t know how to fix them. Believe me, I tried, but it’s still hardly working. I noticed those two would spend less and less time with me over the years. It’s like I was becoming unwanted. Or maybe they found new friends to replace me.

“It really came to a head last December. They said I had too many issues and didn’t want to be my friend anymore.” The tears started to cover Heather’s face. “I don’t know what it was. Maybe a love thing? But I never noticed them having feelings for each other. Maybe they thought their new group of friends was all they needed and had no use for someone with social troubles like me. It’s not my fault people are so insufferable. I’m just doing my part to making a living. Wow, I’m telling all of this to someone out of fantasy. And that isn’t the only time I had a falling out with people, but it was by far the worst. I don’t know how to change. In fact, part of me wonders why I should change. I don’t need these people in my life, but, then who do I have? I hardly even have anyone I can talk to you about, especially anyone that would believe even a small amount of stuff I’ve witnessed from you.

“Please Pinkie, I cannot deal with this now. What if I upset you and you decide to not be my friend anymore? You may be so zany, but I bet even you have your limits. I’m not you, okay? I don’t have a personality that can net me friends with all kinds of people. I don’t know how you do it, but I don’t think you can help me.” Heather stopped saying anything for several seconds, before Pinkie put her into a big hug, while Heather still held onto Luna.

“What happened doesn’t have to define the rest of your life. I’m going to help you get along with people again, that’s a Pinkie Promise! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She followed up with a series of strange gestures while letting go of Heather for a moment before hugging her again.

“Okay... I think at this point, my answer to your behaviors is just you’re Pinkie. I would go on about personal space about now, but this feels nice. And your breath smells sweet, for lack of a better word. I don’t want to be miserable for the rest of my life. I really did enjoy having friends and that’s probably what made the lost hurt even more.”

“It’s going to be all right. I considered you my friend around when we met.”

“Well, that was easy.”

“There’s got to be a lot good about Earth and humans. I could learn from you and your father.”

“You’ll learn a lot more from him. He’s nearly fifty, about triple my age.”

“Sure, but I’ll learn about the young experience from you and others.”

“Fair. Look, I’ll try to be less moody, especially with you. But that doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly like everything you do like snoring and sudden invasions of personal space. By the way you can let go now.” Pinkie did just that. “I bet you have a ton to talk about with all you probably did back home.”

“Yup yup!”

“Okay. Dad will probably have dinner ready soon. Here’s to a bright rest of the day, and beyond.”

Comments

[Goldstar]

11156809
Although I'm days late, thanks for the first comment. I'm largely making it up as I go. I wonder just how long I can keep going with interesting content.

[Bronycommander]

Eager to see where this goes.

But, is safely job the right word?